They Don't Know About Us
First Date
When El had fallen asleep from her food coma I escaped the room to call Harry, whom I didn't want to worry. Although, I knew I had worried him, I couldn't wait any longer to assure him I was fine. I sat on my bed, pillows propped up behind my back.
"Hello Le-!" His voice was filled with excitement. I heard the lads around him messing around and yelling things into the phone. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I doubt they knew it was me on the other end. They got quiet gradually, like Harry was walking away from them. Then a click, indicating he had entered a different room. Then it sounded like he kept walking.
"Hello!" I answered trying to match his excitement.
"Are you all right? It sounded like you were crying, and you looked really upset and I just wanted to make sure you're okay!" I think he didn't intend on sounding so concerned.
"I'm fine, now. I mean I wasn't when you called. But I am now, El and I talked for a bit and then we watched tv." Then silence, I knew what he wanted to ask, but I could also tell he was afraid to ask it. "Yes, I have a small cut on my arm from almost doing more damage." I looked down at it. The wound seemed bigger now, surely it hadn't been that big when El washed it.
"Why?" His voice sounded strained, it sounded pained, hurt, like he'd just been punched in the gut. Without thinking about it my teeth clamped around my bottom lip.
"You know how I said that my ex and El were the only to know about my cuts, well Charlie, my ex, was the reason I had started cutting. And after he called me today, his voice just kept yelling at me." I couldn't tell him about the other voice, no one could know about that, not even Eleanor, it scares me enough, El would make a big deal out of it and that scared me more. Harry, though, it would break his heart. "Telling me to just do it, telling me now one cared."
"Is it true he used to tell he could find someone better?" He almost interrupted. I didn't answer him, the anger already in his voice. "How often did he say that to you?"
"Way to often." silence again. It felt like the world had gone quiet so many times tonight. Like it revolved around me and when ever I said something the world would just shut up and contain no noise.
"I just really want to hold you right now." He broke the quiet. "I just want to tell you everything will be all right. You can beat this, we can, both of us." His words gave me confidence again. The confidence I was lacking in myself just hours ago. "The lads were worried. When I told them you were all right, they didn't even flinch. I think they know."
"Yeah I mean it was funny while it lasted." A small laugh came out. "How do you want to tell them?" We thought about it.
"What if we just came in to the flat one night after a date, or what ever and we just tell them like that." He suggested.
"Or it's kind of like that but what if next time they ask if we like each other we say that we do and then be all like, 'yeah, where have you been.' Acting like we never denied it in the first place."
"That would be funny. Their faces would be priceless." He let out a loud chuckle. "Or and this would be completely up to you,- never mind it's stupid." He interrupted himself.
"No tell me." I begged playfully.
"No it'd be stupid and like kind of invasive." He sounded like he was saying things very cautiously.
"No seriously, I'm sure it's a good idea! Please!!" I put out my bottom lip and made my eyes big, like he could see me even though I knew we were just on the phone.
"I can't see you, but you're giving me the puppy dog eyes, aren't you." I laughed before i answered him.
"Guilty, now will you tell me now? Please?"
"It's all up to you, but like next time we're in an interview and the guy asks who has a girlfriend, I could tell them then, and then we'd have their reaction on tape." I was smiling my mind completely off the drama that happened a little bit ago.
"That would be so good."
"But only if you're all right with it, I would never would have said if I didn't think you'd go for it. "
"Can you imagine Niall? He'd just start laughing hysterically, like I don't think, if we do it, I think we should tell him."
"You're right, he would be just as shocked as the rest of everyone." Then my phone buzzed, I ignored it continuing on with my conversation with Harry.
"Then he would start laughing and it would be so great!" I was getting excited.
"So do you want to do it?" He sound serious, but I could also hear the smile in the way his words came out.
"Yes." I was nodding, but again I knew he couldn't see me.
"Great!" Then it sounded like his breathing picked up, I heard his hand hit his phone as I guessed he ran his fingers through his hair, moving his curls out of his phone. Then I would bet anything he bit down on his bottom lip. "Would you want to go out for milkshakes maybe?" He sighed. "Tonight? I mean if you're feeling up to it?" My green eyed babe added quickly. I half smirk appeared on my face as I answered.
"I'd like that a lot."
"Cool!" He might have said a little too excitedly. "Uhh cool cause I'm waiting... down... outside, in my car." I laugh escaped my lips.
"What if I had said no?"
"Then I would have driven home, my face red of embarrassment the whole way."
"Well I'm glad I didn't no, because that really is embarrassing." I ran a brush through my hair and put on a different shirt, then I applied a little more deodorant. I grabbed my jumper and left my room, all without taking the phone away from my ear, as Harry explained to me his most embarrassing moment, not One Direction related. Then before leaving I wort Eleanor a short note explaining my absence, then I stuck it on her forehead.
I hopped down the steps a smile on my face instead of tears. I walked out of my building and there Harry was. In the most cliche position ever. He was out of his parked car, arms folded in front of him across his chest, leaning against the black vehicle I'd ridden in to the first interview.
"Glad to see your smiling." We pulled our phones away from our ears, ending our call.
"Glad to see you are too!" I felt very giddy. Like I'd never been on a date before. But
I had, so it didn't really make any sense. He opened my door for me and waited for limbs to be safely inside before shutting for me as well. I watched as he ran around the car and jump in. Like he literally jumped, almost hitting his head.
"That was close." I just laughed. He put the key in the ignition setting life to the box of black painted metal. And this was it, I was on my first date with my new boyfriend, Harry Styles.
"Hello Le-!" His voice was filled with excitement. I heard the lads around him messing around and yelling things into the phone. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I doubt they knew it was me on the other end. They got quiet gradually, like Harry was walking away from them. Then a click, indicating he had entered a different room. Then it sounded like he kept walking.
"Hello!" I answered trying to match his excitement.
"Are you all right? It sounded like you were crying, and you looked really upset and I just wanted to make sure you're okay!" I think he didn't intend on sounding so concerned.
"I'm fine, now. I mean I wasn't when you called. But I am now, El and I talked for a bit and then we watched tv." Then silence, I knew what he wanted to ask, but I could also tell he was afraid to ask it. "Yes, I have a small cut on my arm from almost doing more damage." I looked down at it. The wound seemed bigger now, surely it hadn't been that big when El washed it.
"Why?" His voice sounded strained, it sounded pained, hurt, like he'd just been punched in the gut. Without thinking about it my teeth clamped around my bottom lip.
"You know how I said that my ex and El were the only to know about my cuts, well Charlie, my ex, was the reason I had started cutting. And after he called me today, his voice just kept yelling at me." I couldn't tell him about the other voice, no one could know about that, not even Eleanor, it scares me enough, El would make a big deal out of it and that scared me more. Harry, though, it would break his heart. "Telling me to just do it, telling me now one cared."
"Is it true he used to tell he could find someone better?" He almost interrupted. I didn't answer him, the anger already in his voice. "How often did he say that to you?"
"Way to often." silence again. It felt like the world had gone quiet so many times tonight. Like it revolved around me and when ever I said something the world would just shut up and contain no noise.
"I just really want to hold you right now." He broke the quiet. "I just want to tell you everything will be all right. You can beat this, we can, both of us." His words gave me confidence again. The confidence I was lacking in myself just hours ago. "The lads were worried. When I told them you were all right, they didn't even flinch. I think they know."
"Yeah I mean it was funny while it lasted." A small laugh came out. "How do you want to tell them?" We thought about it.
"What if we just came in to the flat one night after a date, or what ever and we just tell them like that." He suggested.
"Or it's kind of like that but what if next time they ask if we like each other we say that we do and then be all like, 'yeah, where have you been.' Acting like we never denied it in the first place."
"That would be funny. Their faces would be priceless." He let out a loud chuckle. "Or and this would be completely up to you,- never mind it's stupid." He interrupted himself.
"No tell me." I begged playfully.
"No it'd be stupid and like kind of invasive." He sounded like he was saying things very cautiously.
"No seriously, I'm sure it's a good idea! Please!!" I put out my bottom lip and made my eyes big, like he could see me even though I knew we were just on the phone.
"I can't see you, but you're giving me the puppy dog eyes, aren't you." I laughed before i answered him.
"Guilty, now will you tell me now? Please?"
"It's all up to you, but like next time we're in an interview and the guy asks who has a girlfriend, I could tell them then, and then we'd have their reaction on tape." I was smiling my mind completely off the drama that happened a little bit ago.
"That would be so good."
"But only if you're all right with it, I would never would have said if I didn't think you'd go for it. "
"Can you imagine Niall? He'd just start laughing hysterically, like I don't think, if we do it, I think we should tell him."
"You're right, he would be just as shocked as the rest of everyone." Then my phone buzzed, I ignored it continuing on with my conversation with Harry.
"Then he would start laughing and it would be so great!" I was getting excited.
"So do you want to do it?" He sound serious, but I could also hear the smile in the way his words came out.
"Yes." I was nodding, but again I knew he couldn't see me.
"Great!" Then it sounded like his breathing picked up, I heard his hand hit his phone as I guessed he ran his fingers through his hair, moving his curls out of his phone. Then I would bet anything he bit down on his bottom lip. "Would you want to go out for milkshakes maybe?" He sighed. "Tonight? I mean if you're feeling up to it?" My green eyed babe added quickly. I half smirk appeared on my face as I answered.
"I'd like that a lot."
"Cool!" He might have said a little too excitedly. "Uhh cool cause I'm waiting... down... outside, in my car." I laugh escaped my lips.
"What if I had said no?"
"Then I would have driven home, my face red of embarrassment the whole way."
"Well I'm glad I didn't no, because that really is embarrassing." I ran a brush through my hair and put on a different shirt, then I applied a little more deodorant. I grabbed my jumper and left my room, all without taking the phone away from my ear, as Harry explained to me his most embarrassing moment, not One Direction related. Then before leaving I wort Eleanor a short note explaining my absence, then I stuck it on her forehead.
I hopped down the steps a smile on my face instead of tears. I walked out of my building and there Harry was. In the most cliche position ever. He was out of his parked car, arms folded in front of him across his chest, leaning against the black vehicle I'd ridden in to the first interview.
"Glad to see your smiling." We pulled our phones away from our ears, ending our call.
"Glad to see you are too!" I felt very giddy. Like I'd never been on a date before. But
I had, so it didn't really make any sense. He opened my door for me and waited for limbs to be safely inside before shutting for me as well. I watched as he ran around the car and jump in. Like he literally jumped, almost hitting his head.
"That was close." I just laughed. He put the key in the ignition setting life to the box of black painted metal. And this was it, I was on my first date with my new boyfriend, Harry Styles.
4/26/13