Finding Balance
Alternatives
*Harry’s POV*
Warmth on my cheeks wakes me in the morning from the sun shining through the windows of Kennedy’s hotel room. I rub my eyes for a moment then open them to the bright blur streaming through the window, and let out a sigh and look up to the ceiling. It’s been about two weeks since Kennedy, Riley and her brother left for vacation. I ended up staying in Kennedy’s room just because it has her scent and left the “do not disturb” sign on the door.
Since she left, I haven’t really done much with myself other than lying in her spot on her bed, sleeping, and taking long, long showers. I haven’t seen the guys in 9 days. Without Kennedy around, all I really do is miss her. The highlights of my days are when she calls me at night. Hearing, her sweet innocent voice in my ear, it soothes me. Like I can feel her hand on my cheek, and kiss on my lips, soft. My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing. Louis. I roll over to the side table and pick up my phone.
“Hello” I answered.
“Hey, Haz. The guys and I are going to the beach before it starts getting cold again. We can pick you up?”
“No. I’m staying here.”
“Haz-I”
“No Louis. I’m not going.” I interrupted.
“I was going to say that I don’t think it’s good for you to stay in Kennedy’s room all day every day. You need to go out, have fun. You can’t wait around in hopes she’ll show up on a whim. You need to distract yourself.”
“Goodbye Louis.”
“We miss-“I hung up before he could answer.
He was right, but I couldn’t admit that. It was true, every day I hoped there’d be a knock on the door and it’d be her. I needed to distract myself, but I couldn’t even get myself out of bed. I jumped up quickly when my phone started ringing the tone assigned to Kennedy’s name. She was calling me.
“Kennedy”
“Good morning sunshine! How’d you sleep? I dreamt about you.” You could hear the happiness and love in her voice. You always could.
“Well enough. What about me?”
“We went to a carnival! And you kissed me on the Ferris wheel, it was wonderful.” I smiled at the thought.
“Harry? It’s getting awfully quiet over there, are you ok?” I guess I got lost in thought.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry darling. I miss you a lot.”
“No, it’s okay, sweetie. I miss you too, I hate that you’re not with me, but I’ll be back in a week and I’ll be all yours again, ok?”
“Yeah, ok. Just don’t forget about me ok?”
“I could never. It’s getting cold here, I’ve been able to where jeans now. Riley keeps talking about Niall. They really hit it off when they met! Except, she and Will have been acting totally weird around each other lately. He’s like my brother, but that’s her business. “
“Oh. Yeah, that is weird I guess.” There was a pause.
“Are you sure you’re all right? Maybe you should hang out with the guys, or your sister or mom? You seem really sad lately, Harry.” Her voice came slightly upset this time.
“I’m fine, Kennedy. I should go.” I forced out. I didn’t want to fight with her.
“Okay, I’ll call you later…I love you.”
“Love you too.” I hung up.
*Kennedy’s POV*
Harry hung up and I sat down on my bed. He’d been acting weird lately, and as much as he tries to play it off like nothing, I can tell he’s sad, and little does he know, Niall and Louis have both called me and told me about it and that they’d thought it was because of me. I felt bad about it all, but I wasn’t about to leave my dream vacation over it. Besides, he’d have to learn to deal with it seeing as I live in the US, not the UK. There was a knock on my door and I walked over to answer it.
“Hey Will!” I forced myself to look happy.
“Hey, Rile and I are ready if you are. Rile said y’all wanted to go to Versailles today?”
“That was the plan. And since when did you start calling Riley, Rile?”
“Who cares? C’mon, let’s go.”
Will and I walked down the hall to the elevator and met Riley in the lobby. Riley hugged me, then Will, which for one she never does, but then for extra-long. Whelp, this is awkward. I scratched my forehead and they pulled away.
“Soooo, I guess we should go?” I broke the silence and they nodded stepping away from each other.
We walked out to our rental car and Riley even beat me to the front seat, obviously so she could sit with Will. They were acting so weird. I slid down into my sit in the back and decided to text Harry.
To: Harry
Hey babe, going out to Versailles today! Hope you have a great day. <3
Love you xx
Send
About 30 minutes later, we finally go out of the city and started driving to Versailles. I was so excited, ever since I was about 15, I had a huge obsession with Marie-Antoinette, even though she was kind of a horrible queen, I felt bad for her, and I loved her style for that time. Pretty much, I was just born in the wrong century.
As much as I enjoyed the day with Will and Riley at Versailles, all I could think about was Harry, and pretty much the rest of the week after that. By the time it was time to take the train back to London, my stomach was in knots. The train ride seemed like forever, not to mention that I hadn’t even really spoken to Harry. I never really realized till this week how hard long distance would be once I went home. School was still a major option to weigh, but I had to choose between school and the sponsorships I had been offered for kids’ fitness in the US with Nike and Shawn Johnson, and my own line in GK Leotards. I have a lot to think about, which is pretty much what the whole train ride consisted of for me, still not coming to a decision.
I lie back in my seat and shut my eyes for a few minutes when finally a woman came over the intercom saying we’d be arriving in 10 minutes. I sat back up and looked over to Will and Riley across the aisle. They were both asleep and Riley’s head on Will’s shoulder. Whatever’s going on with them is getting way too weird for me.
“Will!” I whispered across the aisle. He stirred a little before opening his eyes and looking over to me.
“What?! I love you, but you’ve got to be the most annoying sister on the face of the earth. I’m sleeping!” He shook his head and rubbed the corners of his eyes.
“Uh, okay grumpy gills! I was going to tell you we’re gonna be in London in 10 minutes. Rude.” I folded my arms and looked away. I wasn’t actually mad. But I should’ve known. Will’s always angry when he’s woken up. I feel sorry for whoever his wife will be.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are arriving in London. You may now unbuckle and gather any personal items. Thank you for traveling with Eurostar.”
Finally. I thought to myself.
After we woke Riley up, we all left the train and went to call cabs. Riley and Will were still out of from the arrival being so late. So they decided to go back to their hotels. I on the other hand, was going to Harry’s flat. He didn’t know this, but I was. We originally planned to meet for breakfast tomorrow, but I had other plans. Besides, according to Louis he finally went back to his flat around three days ago since I left.
After saying our goodbyes for the night, I walked over and called over one of the cabs and out of the corner of my eye I could see Will take Riley around the waist. I knew it. Or maybe I didn’t, but now I was about 10x more suspicious. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My mind was torn between Riley and Will, Riley and Niall, Harry, and of course my future. I was on brain over load by the time I got to Harry’s flat.
I walked up some stairs and finally got to his door and knocked a few times but there was no answer. After waiting for a few minutes for an answer, I reached under the mat and got his spare key. It used to be over top his door, but after the time where I couldn’t reach it and had to wait an hour for him he finally moved it.
When I walked in, the shiny modern flat I remembered wasn’t there anymore. The refrigerator door was wide open, empty bottles of bourbon and other alcohol empty around the space, one even broken on the floor. It looked like it was abandoned after a party. But I knew that wasn’t the case. Harry had been taking out his anger for me being gone again.
I walked down the hall to his bedroom and found the door cracked revealing slightly a pitch black room. I pushed the door open slowly and stepped into the room using my phone as a light to find my way to his lamp. I put it on the low setting and it gave off about as much light as a candle would in the dark. Harry lay on his bed asleep, clenching onto his pillow for dear life and his eyebrows furrowed in what looked like an innocent distress as if he was losing something precious and irreplaceable. He was dreaming, or maybe having a nightmare by his expression. The dark lighting made his expression seem more exaggerated.
I stepped forward and sat down sideways on his bed and brushed his dark curls with my fingers, having the tips run softly on his forehead from time to time. As the moments passed, his expression seemed to soften slightly and his eyelids fluttered a few times before he rolled over groggily to face me, placing his large hand over mine and pulling it to him, kissing my knuckles.
“You’re here,” he mumbled in a tired voice. It was probably one of the most attractive things I’ve heard him say just because of his voice when he’s tired. I set my bag on the floor and slid my body onto the bed next to him sitting crisscross and began stroking his curls once more with my free hand, and bent down to kiss the tip of his nose.
“Yeah, I am. You can go back to sleep, Harry. I’m staying here with you.” I soothed. I could tell he was still recovering from the distressful dream he was having before I woke him. His eyes fluttered to an open and his bright eyes beamed into mine. I could see the relief in them and he sat up taking me in his arms, pressing kissed on my neck, cheeks, collar-bone. I pressed my forehead to his and looked into his eyes.
“I love you so much” He whispered against my lips, giving me bumps on my skin and giving me chills down my spine. Hearing him say it in person was a whole different thing than on the phone or through text. “I love you more” I replied, pressing my lips against his. They were warm and smooth, and it felt like coming home. I could feel his smile against me.
His finger-tips ran along my spin beneath my shirt and it gave more chills while he kissed me. His lips moved from mine and down my neck, onto my collar-bone, and then my chest. I through my head back for him and let on a slight sigh, running my fingers through the hair on the back of his head, adjusting my legs so that I was straddling his torso. He held his hands on my hips, keeping me down against him, and I could feel him getting harder beneath me, and as much as I hate to admit it, all over my body I could feel myself wanting him. He lifted his hands up to my jaw and kissed me hard, and I rolled myself into him so his bulge was pressed between my legs and he could feel me against him. At this point, I couldn’t bring myself to stop him.
He pulled my shirt off of me and ran his hands over my chest before moving lover to pull off the lace barrier between him and me. He kissed me hard as he slowly moved the bra upward but stopped and looked me in the eyes.
“Do you want me to go any further? I’ll stop if you want me to” He whispered softly, never breaking his gaze.
Warmth on my cheeks wakes me in the morning from the sun shining through the windows of Kennedy’s hotel room. I rub my eyes for a moment then open them to the bright blur streaming through the window, and let out a sigh and look up to the ceiling. It’s been about two weeks since Kennedy, Riley and her brother left for vacation. I ended up staying in Kennedy’s room just because it has her scent and left the “do not disturb” sign on the door.
Since she left, I haven’t really done much with myself other than lying in her spot on her bed, sleeping, and taking long, long showers. I haven’t seen the guys in 9 days. Without Kennedy around, all I really do is miss her. The highlights of my days are when she calls me at night. Hearing, her sweet innocent voice in my ear, it soothes me. Like I can feel her hand on my cheek, and kiss on my lips, soft. My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing. Louis. I roll over to the side table and pick up my phone.
“Hello” I answered.
“Hey, Haz. The guys and I are going to the beach before it starts getting cold again. We can pick you up?”
“No. I’m staying here.”
“Haz-I”
“No Louis. I’m not going.” I interrupted.
“I was going to say that I don’t think it’s good for you to stay in Kennedy’s room all day every day. You need to go out, have fun. You can’t wait around in hopes she’ll show up on a whim. You need to distract yourself.”
“Goodbye Louis.”
“We miss-“I hung up before he could answer.
He was right, but I couldn’t admit that. It was true, every day I hoped there’d be a knock on the door and it’d be her. I needed to distract myself, but I couldn’t even get myself out of bed. I jumped up quickly when my phone started ringing the tone assigned to Kennedy’s name. She was calling me.
“Kennedy”
“Good morning sunshine! How’d you sleep? I dreamt about you.” You could hear the happiness and love in her voice. You always could.
“Well enough. What about me?”
“We went to a carnival! And you kissed me on the Ferris wheel, it was wonderful.” I smiled at the thought.
“Harry? It’s getting awfully quiet over there, are you ok?” I guess I got lost in thought.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry darling. I miss you a lot.”
“No, it’s okay, sweetie. I miss you too, I hate that you’re not with me, but I’ll be back in a week and I’ll be all yours again, ok?”
“Yeah, ok. Just don’t forget about me ok?”
“I could never. It’s getting cold here, I’ve been able to where jeans now. Riley keeps talking about Niall. They really hit it off when they met! Except, she and Will have been acting totally weird around each other lately. He’s like my brother, but that’s her business. “
“Oh. Yeah, that is weird I guess.” There was a pause.
“Are you sure you’re all right? Maybe you should hang out with the guys, or your sister or mom? You seem really sad lately, Harry.” Her voice came slightly upset this time.
“I’m fine, Kennedy. I should go.” I forced out. I didn’t want to fight with her.
“Okay, I’ll call you later…I love you.”
“Love you too.” I hung up.
*Kennedy’s POV*
Harry hung up and I sat down on my bed. He’d been acting weird lately, and as much as he tries to play it off like nothing, I can tell he’s sad, and little does he know, Niall and Louis have both called me and told me about it and that they’d thought it was because of me. I felt bad about it all, but I wasn’t about to leave my dream vacation over it. Besides, he’d have to learn to deal with it seeing as I live in the US, not the UK. There was a knock on my door and I walked over to answer it.
“Hey Will!” I forced myself to look happy.
“Hey, Rile and I are ready if you are. Rile said y’all wanted to go to Versailles today?”
“That was the plan. And since when did you start calling Riley, Rile?”
“Who cares? C’mon, let’s go.”
Will and I walked down the hall to the elevator and met Riley in the lobby. Riley hugged me, then Will, which for one she never does, but then for extra-long. Whelp, this is awkward. I scratched my forehead and they pulled away.
“Soooo, I guess we should go?” I broke the silence and they nodded stepping away from each other.
We walked out to our rental car and Riley even beat me to the front seat, obviously so she could sit with Will. They were acting so weird. I slid down into my sit in the back and decided to text Harry.
To: Harry
Hey babe, going out to Versailles today! Hope you have a great day. <3
Love you xx
Send
About 30 minutes later, we finally go out of the city and started driving to Versailles. I was so excited, ever since I was about 15, I had a huge obsession with Marie-Antoinette, even though she was kind of a horrible queen, I felt bad for her, and I loved her style for that time. Pretty much, I was just born in the wrong century.
As much as I enjoyed the day with Will and Riley at Versailles, all I could think about was Harry, and pretty much the rest of the week after that. By the time it was time to take the train back to London, my stomach was in knots. The train ride seemed like forever, not to mention that I hadn’t even really spoken to Harry. I never really realized till this week how hard long distance would be once I went home. School was still a major option to weigh, but I had to choose between school and the sponsorships I had been offered for kids’ fitness in the US with Nike and Shawn Johnson, and my own line in GK Leotards. I have a lot to think about, which is pretty much what the whole train ride consisted of for me, still not coming to a decision.
I lie back in my seat and shut my eyes for a few minutes when finally a woman came over the intercom saying we’d be arriving in 10 minutes. I sat back up and looked over to Will and Riley across the aisle. They were both asleep and Riley’s head on Will’s shoulder. Whatever’s going on with them is getting way too weird for me.
“Will!” I whispered across the aisle. He stirred a little before opening his eyes and looking over to me.
“What?! I love you, but you’ve got to be the most annoying sister on the face of the earth. I’m sleeping!” He shook his head and rubbed the corners of his eyes.
“Uh, okay grumpy gills! I was going to tell you we’re gonna be in London in 10 minutes. Rude.” I folded my arms and looked away. I wasn’t actually mad. But I should’ve known. Will’s always angry when he’s woken up. I feel sorry for whoever his wife will be.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are arriving in London. You may now unbuckle and gather any personal items. Thank you for traveling with Eurostar.”
Finally. I thought to myself.
After we woke Riley up, we all left the train and went to call cabs. Riley and Will were still out of from the arrival being so late. So they decided to go back to their hotels. I on the other hand, was going to Harry’s flat. He didn’t know this, but I was. We originally planned to meet for breakfast tomorrow, but I had other plans. Besides, according to Louis he finally went back to his flat around three days ago since I left.
After saying our goodbyes for the night, I walked over and called over one of the cabs and out of the corner of my eye I could see Will take Riley around the waist. I knew it. Or maybe I didn’t, but now I was about 10x more suspicious. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My mind was torn between Riley and Will, Riley and Niall, Harry, and of course my future. I was on brain over load by the time I got to Harry’s flat.
I walked up some stairs and finally got to his door and knocked a few times but there was no answer. After waiting for a few minutes for an answer, I reached under the mat and got his spare key. It used to be over top his door, but after the time where I couldn’t reach it and had to wait an hour for him he finally moved it.
When I walked in, the shiny modern flat I remembered wasn’t there anymore. The refrigerator door was wide open, empty bottles of bourbon and other alcohol empty around the space, one even broken on the floor. It looked like it was abandoned after a party. But I knew that wasn’t the case. Harry had been taking out his anger for me being gone again.
I walked down the hall to his bedroom and found the door cracked revealing slightly a pitch black room. I pushed the door open slowly and stepped into the room using my phone as a light to find my way to his lamp. I put it on the low setting and it gave off about as much light as a candle would in the dark. Harry lay on his bed asleep, clenching onto his pillow for dear life and his eyebrows furrowed in what looked like an innocent distress as if he was losing something precious and irreplaceable. He was dreaming, or maybe having a nightmare by his expression. The dark lighting made his expression seem more exaggerated.
I stepped forward and sat down sideways on his bed and brushed his dark curls with my fingers, having the tips run softly on his forehead from time to time. As the moments passed, his expression seemed to soften slightly and his eyelids fluttered a few times before he rolled over groggily to face me, placing his large hand over mine and pulling it to him, kissing my knuckles.
“You’re here,” he mumbled in a tired voice. It was probably one of the most attractive things I’ve heard him say just because of his voice when he’s tired. I set my bag on the floor and slid my body onto the bed next to him sitting crisscross and began stroking his curls once more with my free hand, and bent down to kiss the tip of his nose.
“Yeah, I am. You can go back to sleep, Harry. I’m staying here with you.” I soothed. I could tell he was still recovering from the distressful dream he was having before I woke him. His eyes fluttered to an open and his bright eyes beamed into mine. I could see the relief in them and he sat up taking me in his arms, pressing kissed on my neck, cheeks, collar-bone. I pressed my forehead to his and looked into his eyes.
“I love you so much” He whispered against my lips, giving me bumps on my skin and giving me chills down my spine. Hearing him say it in person was a whole different thing than on the phone or through text. “I love you more” I replied, pressing my lips against his. They were warm and smooth, and it felt like coming home. I could feel his smile against me.
His finger-tips ran along my spin beneath my shirt and it gave more chills while he kissed me. His lips moved from mine and down my neck, onto my collar-bone, and then my chest. I through my head back for him and let on a slight sigh, running my fingers through the hair on the back of his head, adjusting my legs so that I was straddling his torso. He held his hands on my hips, keeping me down against him, and I could feel him getting harder beneath me, and as much as I hate to admit it, all over my body I could feel myself wanting him. He lifted his hands up to my jaw and kissed me hard, and I rolled myself into him so his bulge was pressed between my legs and he could feel me against him. At this point, I couldn’t bring myself to stop him.
He pulled my shirt off of me and ran his hands over my chest before moving lover to pull off the lace barrier between him and me. He kissed me hard as he slowly moved the bra upward but stopped and looked me in the eyes.
“Do you want me to go any further? I’ll stop if you want me to” He whispered softly, never breaking his gaze.
Notes
Hope it didn't suck lol This was a tough chapter to write, aka i hate transitioning stories over long periods of time.Don't forget to comment below and tell me what y'all think!
9/3/13