Dancing With My Scars - On Hold
Chapter 5- Everything's Fine
Boston - Augustana (song to listen to while reading)
Bella's Point of View:
Without a word, Harry and I made our way up to my apartment. When I opened the door, Drew was inside and gave me a fearful look, I guess Niall had already called him.
"Bella, you don't have to do-" He stuttered with Mia on his hip.
"Please just drop it right now." I commanded tossing my tote on the ground. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a long huff. "Alright, thanks for watching her, Drew." I muttered kissing him on the cheek and taking Mia from his arms.
"We'll work something out. I won't let this happen without--"
"You and I both know I can't get out of that contract." I muttered lifting Mia from his hip and transferring her to mine. I glanced over at Harry who had a confused look on his face, but I refuse to explain anything to him.
"See you later, mate." Drew said patting Harry's shoulder and slamming the door behind him.
I felt Harry's eyes follow me as we continued standing in the silence.
"Do you want to hold her?" I asked getting her snack ready. His face lit up, he nodded swiftly and came up to my side.
"Hi Mia." He whispered taking her into his arms and immediately walking to where her toys are on the floor. "Can you bring her snack over here too?" He asked looking up at me.
"We don't eat on the floor." I said strictly.
"Come on, just this once. Tell mommy you want to eat with daddy on the floor!" He said in a cheek little baby voice, which made me smile. I brought the box of cheerios on the ground and handed them to Harry, who winked at me before taking a couple out and handing them to our daughter... Our daughter. How weird does that sound?
"So is mommy gonna tell me why she's so sad?" he asked holding up a couple blocks and trying to show Mia how to stack them.
"Mommy thinks it's not of daddy's business!" I smirked sitting across from him and put my hands on my head. "Not right now anyway... I want you to enjoy your last few minutes with your daughter. Before you go back to LA..." I whispered staring directly in his eyes.
"Yeah about that... um I'm not going to go back there for a while." He explained. My insides did a backflip.
"What did you just say?" I gasped. He can't be serious.
"Well we just happened to close in a big deal in New Jersey... And the boys and I are moving here to open another Twisted." He smiled looking up at me.
"Harry..." I groaned. "Don't do this. You don't need to move here, I'll send you pictures of her, and Christmas cards... whatever you want." I said with tears filling in my eyes.
"Damn it Bella. I told you, you can't keep me from her. I'm not a pushover, I'm changed." He insisted, pulling Mia into his lap. Being completely honest, I don't know how to feel about this. At first it seemed like the worst idea on the planet... But with the new season of Dancing starting and Chris being my partner... It might be nice having Harry around to protect us. But then again... He could just as easily harm us.
"Okay." I said looking away.
"Okay? That's it?" He asked bobbing Mia up and down on his lap. I nodded my head without responding. There is truly not stopping Harry Styles, so I might as well just give up now.
"Just promise you'll respect my rules, my boundaries, and my relationship with my boyfriend." I whisper the last part but I know he heard it.
"Sure." He mutters, but I can tell he's lying. "So tell me why you're so upset, yeah?" He questions me.
"Harry... not right now, ok? Why don't you just enjoy your time with Mia." I whispered, avoiding the subject. I got up from the floor and grabbed my phone, a new message from Niall.
Niall: I'm so sorry baby, there's no getting out of it. You can always skip this season if you want... He knows that you're the partner and he seemed happy about it. 3 years is a long time, people change. I'm sure he's over it, and Louis is locked away. There will be cameras 24/7 it won't be so bad, and I'll protect you of course.
Me: Ok thanks.
Like what did he want me to say? I'm looking forward to working with Louis' brother? The guy who's career I ruined? I slammed my phone back onto the counter and clutched the counter as hard as I could. These are the times when I missed self harming... That immediate release and that transfer of pain made things seem okay.
"Everything alright?" Harry called from the living room without looking up. I put my hands into fists and banged down on the counter a few times.
"Everything's ok." I nod ignoring his question. I watched as he walked towards Mia's crib, placed her inside and came back out to face me. "Everything's fine." I whisper when he's face to face to me.
"Do you hate me that much that you can't even be honest with me? All I'm trying is to get through to you." He shouts in my face.
"Harry, it's not simple." I mutter holding back my tears.
"I'm trying to help you. Don't you know I'm the one who wants to protect you? After all these years you'd think I hate you...." He whispers shaking his head. I try to look away, but he brings my face back to his.
"Please just let this go... I don't want you involved." I beg as his grip around my tightens. I feel trapped.
"I still love you Bella. Let me help. Please, I'm here now. Just tell me what's going on and I'll make it go away, we can go somewhere..." He shouts.
"Harry! You can't just make all my problems go away by running! We ran away for so long, and look where that ended us up." I screamed towards his face.
"Just let me help you." He says more quietly, but tightens his grip even harder.
"You're.Hurting.Me." I growl in his face. Instead of replying with some asinine comment, he responds with his lips against mine. I go into as deeply and as passionately as he does... it's the most incredible reunion I've yet to have in my whole life. His grip loosens, and I slowly feel like I'm free falling off a tall building. It feels like I'm flying, but I know what this ends with--a big crash and painful ending.
"Harry." I whispered pulling my face away from his. I feel him tug his hands around me and instead of forcing my lips back to his, he pulls me in for a deep hug. I let myself relax in his arms and rest my head on his shoulder.
"I...I.." I mutter unsure of what to say or do about what just happened.
"Do you have work tomorrow?" He asks coddling my body. I think about work and my insides twist painfully.
"Uh not tomorrow, but we start Wednesday..." I whisper.
"I'll be here tomorrow around 10, and we're going out as a family. Me, you and Mia. Niall can tag along too if he wants." He winks. I have no words to respond to this... I forgot how in control he is of me and situations like this. He leaves a kiss on my forehead and waves goodbye, and I stand frozen in time.
What the hell just happened?
Bella's Point of View:
Without a word, Harry and I made our way up to my apartment. When I opened the door, Drew was inside and gave me a fearful look, I guess Niall had already called him.
"Bella, you don't have to do-" He stuttered with Mia on his hip.
"Please just drop it right now." I commanded tossing my tote on the ground. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a long huff. "Alright, thanks for watching her, Drew." I muttered kissing him on the cheek and taking Mia from his arms.
"We'll work something out. I won't let this happen without--"
"You and I both know I can't get out of that contract." I muttered lifting Mia from his hip and transferring her to mine. I glanced over at Harry who had a confused look on his face, but I refuse to explain anything to him.
"See you later, mate." Drew said patting Harry's shoulder and slamming the door behind him.
I felt Harry's eyes follow me as we continued standing in the silence.
"Do you want to hold her?" I asked getting her snack ready. His face lit up, he nodded swiftly and came up to my side.
"Hi Mia." He whispered taking her into his arms and immediately walking to where her toys are on the floor. "Can you bring her snack over here too?" He asked looking up at me.
"We don't eat on the floor." I said strictly.
"Come on, just this once. Tell mommy you want to eat with daddy on the floor!" He said in a cheek little baby voice, which made me smile. I brought the box of cheerios on the ground and handed them to Harry, who winked at me before taking a couple out and handing them to our daughter... Our daughter. How weird does that sound?
"So is mommy gonna tell me why she's so sad?" he asked holding up a couple blocks and trying to show Mia how to stack them.
"Mommy thinks it's not of daddy's business!" I smirked sitting across from him and put my hands on my head. "Not right now anyway... I want you to enjoy your last few minutes with your daughter. Before you go back to LA..." I whispered staring directly in his eyes.
"Yeah about that... um I'm not going to go back there for a while." He explained. My insides did a backflip.
"What did you just say?" I gasped. He can't be serious.
"Well we just happened to close in a big deal in New Jersey... And the boys and I are moving here to open another Twisted." He smiled looking up at me.
"Harry..." I groaned. "Don't do this. You don't need to move here, I'll send you pictures of her, and Christmas cards... whatever you want." I said with tears filling in my eyes.
"Damn it Bella. I told you, you can't keep me from her. I'm not a pushover, I'm changed." He insisted, pulling Mia into his lap. Being completely honest, I don't know how to feel about this. At first it seemed like the worst idea on the planet... But with the new season of Dancing starting and Chris being my partner... It might be nice having Harry around to protect us. But then again... He could just as easily harm us.
"Okay." I said looking away.
"Okay? That's it?" He asked bobbing Mia up and down on his lap. I nodded my head without responding. There is truly not stopping Harry Styles, so I might as well just give up now.
"Just promise you'll respect my rules, my boundaries, and my relationship with my boyfriend." I whisper the last part but I know he heard it.
"Sure." He mutters, but I can tell he's lying. "So tell me why you're so upset, yeah?" He questions me.
"Harry... not right now, ok? Why don't you just enjoy your time with Mia." I whispered, avoiding the subject. I got up from the floor and grabbed my phone, a new message from Niall.
Niall: I'm so sorry baby, there's no getting out of it. You can always skip this season if you want... He knows that you're the partner and he seemed happy about it. 3 years is a long time, people change. I'm sure he's over it, and Louis is locked away. There will be cameras 24/7 it won't be so bad, and I'll protect you of course.
Me: Ok thanks.
Like what did he want me to say? I'm looking forward to working with Louis' brother? The guy who's career I ruined? I slammed my phone back onto the counter and clutched the counter as hard as I could. These are the times when I missed self harming... That immediate release and that transfer of pain made things seem okay.
"Everything alright?" Harry called from the living room without looking up. I put my hands into fists and banged down on the counter a few times.
"Everything's ok." I nod ignoring his question. I watched as he walked towards Mia's crib, placed her inside and came back out to face me. "Everything's fine." I whisper when he's face to face to me.
"Do you hate me that much that you can't even be honest with me? All I'm trying is to get through to you." He shouts in my face.
"Harry, it's not simple." I mutter holding back my tears.
"I'm trying to help you. Don't you know I'm the one who wants to protect you? After all these years you'd think I hate you...." He whispers shaking his head. I try to look away, but he brings my face back to his.
"Please just let this go... I don't want you involved." I beg as his grip around my tightens. I feel trapped.
"I still love you Bella. Let me help. Please, I'm here now. Just tell me what's going on and I'll make it go away, we can go somewhere..." He shouts.
"Harry! You can't just make all my problems go away by running! We ran away for so long, and look where that ended us up." I screamed towards his face.
"Just let me help you." He says more quietly, but tightens his grip even harder.
"You're.Hurting.Me." I growl in his face. Instead of replying with some asinine comment, he responds with his lips against mine. I go into as deeply and as passionately as he does... it's the most incredible reunion I've yet to have in my whole life. His grip loosens, and I slowly feel like I'm free falling off a tall building. It feels like I'm flying, but I know what this ends with--a big crash and painful ending.
"Harry." I whispered pulling my face away from his. I feel him tug his hands around me and instead of forcing my lips back to his, he pulls me in for a deep hug. I let myself relax in his arms and rest my head on his shoulder.
"I...I.." I mutter unsure of what to say or do about what just happened.
"Do you have work tomorrow?" He asks coddling my body. I think about work and my insides twist painfully.
"Uh not tomorrow, but we start Wednesday..." I whisper.
"I'll be here tomorrow around 10, and we're going out as a family. Me, you and Mia. Niall can tag along too if he wants." He winks. I have no words to respond to this... I forgot how in control he is of me and situations like this. He leaves a kiss on my forehead and waves goodbye, and I stand frozen in time.
What the hell just happened?
Notes
ok, i love harry's character when he gets like that.if you guys have any questions or suggestions, please comment below! :)
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comment for an update toooooo!! xx
Can you plz update? Hopefully Harry finds Bella.
1/14/18