It's not Easy letting you go
Blake: Bringing up the Past
“Good morning Lexar Falls, this is your favorite morning DJ waking you up the right way. So get out of bed, only one more week before school lets out and worldwide music sensations One Direction is in-“ I let out a groan as I attempted to slam on the snooze button, again, and again, and again. “Son of a bitch!” I pulled the clock out of the socket and threw it against the wall. It wasn’t long till more door busted open.
“Blake, really? That’s the 3rd one we’ve bought you this week and the 16th one in a month. I’m thinking your sister and I are going to have to invest in an alarm clock company.” I rolled my eyes and stared down my Elliot, “get out.” I mumbled before hopping into bed once more.
It didn’t take long for me to doze off once again. I thanked God for my day off and the fact that High School’s has been long gone for school now.
I rolled on my side and pulled the pillow off my head searching for my alarm clock. The electric blue numbers couldn’t be found, “shit” that’s right. I threw it against the wall this morning.
Slipping out of my blanket it slumped on over to my phone and stared at the numbers 10:25. Deciding that I was going to grace the world with my presence today, ran my fingers through my hair and headed across the hall to the bathroom.
“Wait! Blake, I’m going to be late for school….” I chuckled and backed up from the door and let Charlotte have the bathroom. “You know just because you don’t have to go in until later doesn’t mean you can take your time sleeping in.” I called through the door.
It soon busted open with a put together Charlotte. “Well don’t you look adorable.” I smirked as she walked passed me, “I sure do. Anyways, you’re picking me up today right?” I slid into the bathroom as Charlie leaned against the frame and I began on my teeth, then face.
“Yeah of course, always do! That is unless I’m told otherwise.” I turned to my little sister and gave her an unattractive wink seeing as my mouth was foaming and I had a toothbrush sticking from my mouth.
“Okay, awesome. Thanks Blake, see you later then.” I nodded and she walked away down the hall to finish up for school.
Charlotte and I have always had this special bond seeing as we’re closer to age than our older siblings The twins Noah and Eric (29) and Kennedy (27). I just celebrated my 21st birthday three months ago while Charlie is only two weeks shy of her 19th.
There is also the fact that we went through hell when we were younger which brought us closer than ever before. When I was 8 and Charlie was 6 we were part of a horrible car accident. We lost our parents that night and I know this is coming off selfish… Noah, Eric, and Kennedy lost them too but they weren’t there. Sometimes when I do think back I’m glad they weren’t, because who else would we have lost? Other times I can’t help but hate them for leaving us alone.
We all ended up moving to Lexar Falls with our grandparents; Kennedy our older sister was 14 at the time. After she graduated she went away to school, met Elliot, and moved back to Lexar for Charlie and I after they married. Ever since we’ve been with them.
Noah is currently in California stationed at Camp Pendleton with his family while Eric is here running his own auto shop and keeping up with the ranch a few miles outside of town with Elena his wife.
By now I had hopped in the shower, cleaned-up, and now I was in front of the mirror in a towel putting my hair up in a neat and messy bun. I just wasn’t willing to mess with it today. I smiled at what I thought was perfection and headed straight to my room to get dressed for the day.
Lexar Fall isn’t what you would necessarily call a “Small Town”, I mean yeah it’s small but not too small. However, I don’t care for it as much. Why I was still here I wasn’t sure… I didn’t want to be here anymore. There were too many memories, still so much talk, and the expectations of a small town.
My feet carried me down the stairs of my sister and brother in law’s two story home. “I see you decided to grace this world with your presence an your ass.” I rolled my eyed and pulled a premade breakfast shake from the fridge, “Love you too Kenny.” I mumbled untwisting the cap and downing it.
“What, no breakfast this morning?” My sister picked out a plate from the microwave, bacon, eggs, and pancakes happily sitting on the porcelain. “Right here.” I lifted up the bottle with my shake and nodded my head towards it.
“What ever floats your boat.” I took a spot at the island in the kitchen and watched my sister in action with her 4 month baby bump, tidying up the kitchen from this morning’s breakfast escapade. “Picking up Charlie today?” I nodded my head.
Kennedy and I have never really seen eye to eye for a long time now… since Charlie and I moved in when I was 16. “Yes ma’am.” Then again I think I just enjoyed pushing people who cared for me the most away… not even Charlie knows everything that runs in my head and I’m closest to her.
“Awesome, do you have anything else going on today? I need you to put in the order for her cake.” Charlie is graduating this year, she was originally supposed to do so last year but she went through a lot of anxiety the first year after the accident and had to stay back.
“I can do that, I have off.” I gave a half smile and finished up the last of my shake. Kennedy nodded as she continued to scrub the pan. Silence filled the kitchen and all that was heard was the bumping of the dishes against the sink and the running water… but it didn’t last.
Kennedy stopped everything she was doing and leaned against the sink staring down in one place with a look of thought on her face. Then she looked up. “I just don’t get you Blake.” My brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”
“You had every single opportunity to get out of here and yet you’re still here… why?” Honestly… I was offended. “What are you saying? You want me gone don’t you…” I said matter of factly. Kennedy shook her head and pulled off the bright pink rubber gloves.
“That’s not what I said at all. Blake you had a full ride to Julliard and a talent scout from an agency from LA wanting you and you just threw it away. You can’t honestly tell me you’re happy here.” I looked away and down at the counter, as I did this I spotted an envelope on the counter.
Reaching for them I stood up, “This is for Charlie’s cake right?” I reached for my car keys. “Damn it Blake… stop running away and stop pushing me and everyone else away. Noah called you twice last night and he said you answered drunk.” I stopped in place.
“This needs to stop. Stop pittying yourself and stop mourning mom and dad… it was 13 years ago Blake. They wouldn’t want you remembering them this way… they would have wanted you to take that ride to Julliard or that offer from that Dance Company.” I shook my head,
“And how the fuck would you know this Kennedy. You weren’t even fucking there; you made a big fucking deal about some party so they let you skip out. We needed you… I needed you but-“ She cut me off
“You don’t think I regret that, you don’t think I don’t think about that? But think about this… what if the twins and I were there and where mom and dad are now. You wouldn’t be here, you and Charlie would have been passed off to some state home with no one.” Her voice lowered and she shook her head…
“I didn’t have to come back here Blake… but I did and I did it because you and Charlie mean the world to me and I can’t stand watching you throw your life away to nothing.” I had nothing left to say, I turned around and walked away.
“Blake, really? That’s the 3rd one we’ve bought you this week and the 16th one in a month. I’m thinking your sister and I are going to have to invest in an alarm clock company.” I rolled my eyes and stared down my Elliot, “get out.” I mumbled before hopping into bed once more.
It didn’t take long for me to doze off once again. I thanked God for my day off and the fact that High School’s has been long gone for school now.
I rolled on my side and pulled the pillow off my head searching for my alarm clock. The electric blue numbers couldn’t be found, “shit” that’s right. I threw it against the wall this morning.
Slipping out of my blanket it slumped on over to my phone and stared at the numbers 10:25. Deciding that I was going to grace the world with my presence today, ran my fingers through my hair and headed across the hall to the bathroom.
“Wait! Blake, I’m going to be late for school….” I chuckled and backed up from the door and let Charlotte have the bathroom. “You know just because you don’t have to go in until later doesn’t mean you can take your time sleeping in.” I called through the door.
It soon busted open with a put together Charlotte. “Well don’t you look adorable.” I smirked as she walked passed me, “I sure do. Anyways, you’re picking me up today right?” I slid into the bathroom as Charlie leaned against the frame and I began on my teeth, then face.
“Yeah of course, always do! That is unless I’m told otherwise.” I turned to my little sister and gave her an unattractive wink seeing as my mouth was foaming and I had a toothbrush sticking from my mouth.
“Okay, awesome. Thanks Blake, see you later then.” I nodded and she walked away down the hall to finish up for school.
Charlotte and I have always had this special bond seeing as we’re closer to age than our older siblings The twins Noah and Eric (29) and Kennedy (27). I just celebrated my 21st birthday three months ago while Charlie is only two weeks shy of her 19th.
There is also the fact that we went through hell when we were younger which brought us closer than ever before. When I was 8 and Charlie was 6 we were part of a horrible car accident. We lost our parents that night and I know this is coming off selfish… Noah, Eric, and Kennedy lost them too but they weren’t there. Sometimes when I do think back I’m glad they weren’t, because who else would we have lost? Other times I can’t help but hate them for leaving us alone.
We all ended up moving to Lexar Falls with our grandparents; Kennedy our older sister was 14 at the time. After she graduated she went away to school, met Elliot, and moved back to Lexar for Charlie and I after they married. Ever since we’ve been with them.
Noah is currently in California stationed at Camp Pendleton with his family while Eric is here running his own auto shop and keeping up with the ranch a few miles outside of town with Elena his wife.
By now I had hopped in the shower, cleaned-up, and now I was in front of the mirror in a towel putting my hair up in a neat and messy bun. I just wasn’t willing to mess with it today. I smiled at what I thought was perfection and headed straight to my room to get dressed for the day.
Lexar Fall isn’t what you would necessarily call a “Small Town”, I mean yeah it’s small but not too small. However, I don’t care for it as much. Why I was still here I wasn’t sure… I didn’t want to be here anymore. There were too many memories, still so much talk, and the expectations of a small town.
My feet carried me down the stairs of my sister and brother in law’s two story home. “I see you decided to grace this world with your presence an your ass.” I rolled my eyed and pulled a premade breakfast shake from the fridge, “Love you too Kenny.” I mumbled untwisting the cap and downing it.
“What, no breakfast this morning?” My sister picked out a plate from the microwave, bacon, eggs, and pancakes happily sitting on the porcelain. “Right here.” I lifted up the bottle with my shake and nodded my head towards it.
“What ever floats your boat.” I took a spot at the island in the kitchen and watched my sister in action with her 4 month baby bump, tidying up the kitchen from this morning’s breakfast escapade. “Picking up Charlie today?” I nodded my head.
Kennedy and I have never really seen eye to eye for a long time now… since Charlie and I moved in when I was 16. “Yes ma’am.” Then again I think I just enjoyed pushing people who cared for me the most away… not even Charlie knows everything that runs in my head and I’m closest to her.
“Awesome, do you have anything else going on today? I need you to put in the order for her cake.” Charlie is graduating this year, she was originally supposed to do so last year but she went through a lot of anxiety the first year after the accident and had to stay back.
“I can do that, I have off.” I gave a half smile and finished up the last of my shake. Kennedy nodded as she continued to scrub the pan. Silence filled the kitchen and all that was heard was the bumping of the dishes against the sink and the running water… but it didn’t last.
Kennedy stopped everything she was doing and leaned against the sink staring down in one place with a look of thought on her face. Then she looked up. “I just don’t get you Blake.” My brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”
“You had every single opportunity to get out of here and yet you’re still here… why?” Honestly… I was offended. “What are you saying? You want me gone don’t you…” I said matter of factly. Kennedy shook her head and pulled off the bright pink rubber gloves.
“That’s not what I said at all. Blake you had a full ride to Julliard and a talent scout from an agency from LA wanting you and you just threw it away. You can’t honestly tell me you’re happy here.” I looked away and down at the counter, as I did this I spotted an envelope on the counter.
Reaching for them I stood up, “This is for Charlie’s cake right?” I reached for my car keys. “Damn it Blake… stop running away and stop pushing me and everyone else away. Noah called you twice last night and he said you answered drunk.” I stopped in place.
“This needs to stop. Stop pittying yourself and stop mourning mom and dad… it was 13 years ago Blake. They wouldn’t want you remembering them this way… they would have wanted you to take that ride to Julliard or that offer from that Dance Company.” I shook my head,
“And how the fuck would you know this Kennedy. You weren’t even fucking there; you made a big fucking deal about some party so they let you skip out. We needed you… I needed you but-“ She cut me off
“You don’t think I regret that, you don’t think I don’t think about that? But think about this… what if the twins and I were there and where mom and dad are now. You wouldn’t be here, you and Charlie would have been passed off to some state home with no one.” Her voice lowered and she shook her head…
“I didn’t have to come back here Blake… but I did and I did it because you and Charlie mean the world to me and I can’t stand watching you throw your life away to nothing.” I had nothing left to say, I turned around and walked away.
3/23/13