Fanfiction 101

(6)I have to admit, I was only going to read the entire story at first because of the comments (I always read the comments first to see what others think), but I actually quite enjoyed most of it. I’m going to start off with what I didn’t like then tell you what I did like. This review is a bit longer than most, but I just want to get my complete thought in. Also, I’m leaving my rating until the end just because.

Your story was very typical. Girl moves. She meets “the boy next door”. They end up falling in love and some other typical love shit. You have typical characters as well. The girl rejects the boy who has never been rejected before – being the reason he falls for her.

Then, there came a new line – crazy step sister wants the girl gone because she wants Harry to love her. That I applaud. It was different, quite unique. I love how that gave her easy access to breaking apart their relationship. She was a bitch, I hated her, but I loved her character.

I thought it was really excessive to bring in another character that wanted money from her family but killed them when he didn’t get what he wanted. However, I feel like the story couldn’t have been better without it.

As for grammar, you didn’t do too badly. It’s just that some of the beginning chapters had weird spacing. I’d be in the middle of a sentence and then the rest would be in the next paragraph.

Ex:
“After that I washed my face. I never understood the face wash commercials; no one looks like

that when washing their face. Then I went downstairs and saw my mom, she was cooking

pancakes, my favorite” (Chapter 2).

The spacing was all weird, choppy, but – thankfully – it got better as you kept on writing.

Overall, your story was kind of 50/50 for me. I liked it, but I didn’t like it. The main plot was basic, but you had some other factors that I really liked.

Notes