Harry's POV:

When my eyes open up, I immediately sit up and look around. I'm in a bed, a hospital bed. I'm not just cold, I'm fucking freezing. There are monitors beeping, and there's a panicked person in the corner of the room... my mom?

"Harry! Oh my gosh, thank God you're awake!" She shrieks, coming up to my bedside and covering me with hugs and kisses. I don't flinch, I allow her to have her short moment of relief and comfort.

"Where's Riley?" I croak out and immediately regret it. My throat hurts like a bitch and I need to cough up a shitload of water and mucus before my mother can even think to respond.

"Take it easy, baby." She whispers, trying her best to be calm and collected but I can see that something is bothering her, something big.

"Mom... Tell me." I cough again, frustration slowly building up in my veins. I pull the blanket over me more and acknowledge the fact that I probably had hypothermia.

"Tell you what?" She plays dumb, and I'm now enraged.

"Tell me about Riley!" I scream out, and the panic from before takes over her body once again.

"Harry baby, she's not awake yet. They're trying their best to warm her heart but--" She starts to explain, and I cut her off from the loud sobs that are escaping my mouth.



This is all my fault, everything is my fucking fault. If I had just left Riley alone, if I had never gotten involved with her... none of this would have happened. None of it. She would be dating Nick still, hanging around with Dixie and Cody--

"What about everyone else?" I gasp out just as a doctor enters the room.

"Hero Harry Styles!" He greets me, and I cringe at the use of the term 'hero.' I am not a hero by any means, I inflicted all this suffering on everyone... Unintentionally of course but nonetheless it still happened.

"How is everyone?" I croak, nervous for the answer.

"Let me check you out first and then I'll fill you in on everything, alright?" He suggests, taking his stethoscope from around his neck and plugging it into his ears. He listens to my heart beat, gives me an eye, ear and throat exam and presses down on certain parts of my body, searching for pain.

"You suffered from hypothermia, dehydration and only a few broken ribs from the fall to the water, but you're alive. If you hadn't jumped off that bridge, your girlfriend would be dead... Hero." he smiles at me, proud of his nickname.

"So Riley's gonna be ok?" I gape, trying to get him to confess the rest of his story. He looks to my mom for what looks like permission, and she nods giving it to him.

"Since your not family I shouldn't even be telling you this but... it's a chaotic situation I will tell you as much as I can." He sighs slowly.

"Alright, let's hear it then."

"Well Harry, she was much, much worse off than you. Broken bones, concussion, internal injuries, dehydration, hypothermia... Just a true mess." He starts off and my body tenses, nervous for what he's going to say next. "Riley is a fighter and has been fighting for a few hours now but we just aren't sure. They're still pumping her with fluids trying to warm her heart because if it doesn't warm..." His voice trails off.

"Turn up the heat! Give her some blankets, do something!" I shout, pulling at my damp, knotted curls.

"It's not that simple, Harry." He sighs, and glances up at my mom once again.

"What? What else aren't you telling me? Is it Zayn?" I choke up, fearful to hear his answer. Selfishly enough, I don't know how much more I can take.

"Zayn is awake and expected to make a full recovery but he has a major concussion, one of the worst I have seen on a boy his age. It will take him a while to recover but we are almost certain he will be fine." He assures me and I only get a small wave of relief.

"And Nick? Her parents?" I ask, a knot in my stomach the size of the earth.

"You don't miss anything, do you?" The doctor laughs and I have to hold myself back from pounding his face into the ground. Nothing about this is laughable.

"Well?"

"Both of her parents have made it out of intensive care and are awake. Her father has a concussion while Mrs. Cutler..." He trails off and runs a hand over his grey hair.

"What? What happened to Trish?" My mother jumps in, clearly unaware of the entire story.

"Mrs. Cutler was flown from the car and landed on her spine, leaving her no feeling in the lower half of her body." He announces cautiously, and just like that my mother is in a pool of her own tears on the ground. I cannot even think straight nor breathe anymore, it feels like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs and shipped off to another planet.

"So she's paralyzed forever? She can't walk?" I gape, staring off at the wall. This is the most unimaginable damage, to her mother of all people.

"Well we don't know that for certain. Right now we're just trying to keep both her and her husband calm and relaxed because they're more worried about their daughter than themselves." He sighs, and I cringe.

"When will Riley wake up?" I ask, deathly afraid of what I'm going to hear. "When can I see her? What if she doesn't warm up in time? What if her heart stops?" I bombard him with questions, questions that I know he won't have most of the answers to. I can see the exhaustion behind the poor man's eyes, my pestering and obsessiveness has worn him out.

"Well Harry, I'm going to go check on Riley and her friends as well as Nick, Zayn and her parents and I will come back with updates, alright?" He suggests, helping my mother into a chair. She's a mess now, an absolute fucking mess.

"Thank you." She mumbles, and with that the doctor exits.

Now I sit here with my sobbing mother, but I've never felt so small and alone in my whole entire life. I haven't even known Riley for more than four months and I've completely turn her world upside.

How can I live with that? How could anyone live with knowing that they are possibly the thing that ruined the one they love most in the world's? They can't.

My first thought is suicide, but that's just selfish. Ending my life on top of all this trauma might make it easier for me, but not for Riley. I know how that sounds, maybe her life would be better without me but I don't want to cause her anymore pain, even if it's temporary. I have to stick it out, I have to deal with the consequences and I have to turn to my faith... Because that's all I have left.

Notes

Finally got around to updating! The next chapter will most likely be fast-forwarded a week ahead.

Thank you so much for your patience and comments and votes! I love you guys lots and I'm trying to keep the story going for as long as I can :) x

Please vote & comment for more!
maybe 70 votes for the next update?