Looking Forward

Pamela p.o.v

I sat in my chair anxiously waiting for Jenna. I know she must be in the bathroom crying her eyes out. I should be in there with her but I know she needs to be by herself for a while to think about things. How can this happened? Bullied all her life by everyone and even her family and she never did anything to stop it. She finally steps up and tries to provide a better ending for herself and Charlie and this is how you chose to pay her God?

Give me a break.

There are so many people out there who give others bullshit and yet they seem to have a perfect life. All she wants is for Charlie to get better. Is that too much to ask from you God? All i want for her is to be loved. I want someone to take care of her the same way she takes care of little Charlie because she's fragile. She acts strong for others when she's broken inside. When will it be time for someone to save the hero for once, because everyone needs saving one way or another.

I looked at the clock and 15 minutes had passed by and yet Jenna hasn't been back yet.

"Where are you going?" Niall asked as I got up from my chair.

"I'm going to find her." I said as I took the hallway in which she'd gone.

I quickly went inside calling Jenna's name in hopes that she would response but there was no one to be seen. As i turned to leave i saw a red liquid coming out a the big bathroom at the end. I rushed to it and tried to open it but it was locked. I tried 'breaking' the door but only ended up hurting my arm. Wincing at the pain i quickly rushed to the neighboring bathroom to look upon the separating blue door to see if anyone was inside. My heart sank at the view that laid below me.

There, on that ugly yet clean hospital bathroom floor, was my baby Jenna. Showered with blood and it was not pretty. She'd cut again!I thought to myself as i noticed the blade right next to her arm. I started shaking as i slowly got over to her side of the bathroom trying hard not to fall. Still shaking i silently knelled next to her, resting her head on my thigh. Oh god why? What did she ever do to you? Why do bad things happen to good people? I can't live without her. If she goes who am i going to protect? Who am i going to live for? What would life be without her?

My heart started racing faster than it should at the thought of her gone. I quickly checked her pulse to see if she were still alive. I waited a couple seconds waiting to hear something but there was nothing. My face turn white as i felt nothing. I checked every where possible for a pulse, but still nothing. It took me ,many seconds for reality to hit me in the face and i dreaded the moment when i'd have to face it. And soon it came.

Jenna was dead.

No. No. She couldn't. I won't allow it. I reached over and open the bathroom door and found myself yelling for help. I yelled and yelled even till after the nurses where here, taking her body away from me but i wouldn't let go. I couldn't let go. I wasn't ready to let go of her. Not just yet. We've gone through too much together for her to just leave now. I've never had a friend like and probably never will again. She's more than a friend, she's like a sister to me and i won't let go of her like that.

The rest is a blur as she was brought back to life, i think, and Niall and Harry carried me out the bathroom; my clothes covered in blood.

Her blood.

"Pam! Pamela! Are you listening to me? Everything is going to be okay i promise." Niall kept repeating to me over and over again since we've been out that bathroom.

"They brought her back she's not dead. There is nothing to worry about." He added rubbing his hands around my shoulders as a form of comfort. "Pam are you listening to me?" He asked again, but i wasn't.

As he talked my mind was miles away. I wasn't thinking about anything much in particular just...my soul wan't there. My heart stopped beating when Jenna's did. My body was there but my soul was out in space, just staring at the stars ahead of me. Blurred images of Jenna lying in blood, dead, then revived and being taken away from me flashed through my mind ever so often making me wince at the thought of her being gone.

"She died." I whispered to no one in particular.

"No, um no. She's not. They brought her back. She's not dead." Harry said stumbling over his words like as if he ever cared.

"But she did. I lost Jenna, even if it were for a minute or two, I lost her." I repeated my gaze still miles away.

"It's okay. I know it's scary and just.....it's painful but she's okay. She's back. She may have been gone for a minute or two, but we have her back now." He said again stumbling over his words again.

"Painful?" I asked not sure i heard him right when he repeated those words.

"For who? For you? You don't care about her. If i remember correctly you slapped her in her own home and then called her a bitch. This isn't painful to you." I said slowly coming back to my senses. " You slapped Jenna?" Niall angrily asked Harry who suddenly got agitated and uncomfortable. "Um, yes. Yes i did. But i didn't mean it. It just kinda happened." He said trying to defend himself.

" *laughs*. It just kinda happened. It's that what you tell yourself Harry? That it just kinda happened? You hitting her just kinda happened? Well let me tell you something, those things doesn't just kinda happened. You meant for it to happen."--

"NO I DIDN'T." He yelled interrupting me, angering me even more.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE DOING AND YOU DID. DON'T YOU EVER SAY IT'S PAINFUL FOR YOU TO SIT HERE WHILE SHE'S IN PAIN. IT WASN'T PAINFUL FOR YOU TO SLAP AND INSULT HER, SO DON'T ACT LIKE IT'S PAINFUL FOR YOU TO WATCH HER IN THIS SITUATION BECAUSE IT'S NOT. WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE? DON'T YOU HAVE AN UGLY LITTLE SLUT TO GO TO?

" *chuckles* You know nothing about pain. I watched her grow into the person that she is today and let me tell you, she's been screwed over way too many times by people like you. People who think that the world revolves around them and will hurt who ever they need to, to get what they want. You know nothing of pain. Although I'm sure you've had your fair share of experience in your profession, It's nothing compared to what she's had to endure every single day of her life because people like you wouldn't give her a break. Yet there you are, sitting here talking of pain."

"You're just a worthless piece of shit." I said before he got up and left. Maybe what i said was harsh and maybe i shouldn't have said it, but right now I just didn't care anymore.


Harry p.o.v

"Are you sure?" He asked not believing me. Heck even i couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth, but i knew it would be better this way.

"Yes i'm sure. I'm just going to get the money and nothing else. That is our deal right? From now on any feeling that i have for her is gone. She's just a deal to me nothing more or less. I'll get the money and leave, is that simple."

"Well good. Good to hear you say that. Glad to know i won't have to be constantly checking up on you eh little fellow."
******

"Yes Harry yes. More aah ahh. Babe i'm cumming. Ahh Harry!" I said nothing and just thrusting harder intensifying her orgasm until i finished.

*******

Pamela was wrong. I did know many things about pain, but i won't take any of Jenna's pain. I'll do whatever i have to do and leave. Her pain can stay hers and mine can be kept locked deep into my soul. From this moment on i won't feel anything. I will play her like every other girl, no strings attached. I can't get hurt like I've been hurt before. But this time i'm too scared to hurt her like other people have done me. As much as i want to be with her, i can't. I rather hurt her and leave, than stay yet still hurt her.

It's better this way.

Notes

Hey guys, hope you liked it. Please vote and comment your thoughts. Most importantly please vote.

Pleas comment your thoughts and ideas and tell me what you thought of it.

Do you really think Harry won't let any of his feelings get in the way?