Harry held my hand with a tight grip. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a few tears begin to roll down his cheek. Something was off. I wasn’t feeling anything anymore. I felt numb. Was this how it was when you knew that you’re about to witness a death? After weeks of my mother giving the last bit of strength she had, she wasn’t going to hurt anymore. I wanted to cry, but I just couldn’t do that.
I looked up from the ground and I saw Cierra sitting with Zayn, Perrie, and Liam in the lobby. I looked around for my little sister, but I didn’t see her. My mind began to race. Had my father taken off with her? I started to panic.
Harry pulled me into a hug. “Kayla’s with Niall and Louis. They took her out.”
“Shouldn’t she say bye though?” I asked.
He shook his head. “She already said goodbye. They took her out to eat while we did the final goodbye. Don’t worry, your dad couldn’t handle you saying bye. He said he’d come back for one last apology.”
I felt a jolt run through my body. I wasn’t sure how to feel about what I was told. Harry noticed the confusion spread across my face. Before he could say anything, Cierra stood up and walked to me. She hugged me tightly, and much to my surprise, I hugged her back. I knew she had to be hurting like I was.
“Mitchie,” she began to sob. “I’m so sorry. Could you find it to forgive me?” She looked at me. Perrie got up and started to pat her back. I believed they expected me to say no. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to feel. The emotions that numbed me kept me from deciding how to answer her question.
Cierra was nervous. I looked at her as she watched me. My face was full of confusion and fear. My mind wasn’t with them. My mind was where my mother was. I wanted to say a formal goodbye to her before it was too late. Not that I hated the people there, but I didn’t want them to be here when I said goodbye, but I wouldn’t complain.
Eventually, I had to answer. After Perrie nudged me in the rib, I looked up. “I guess I can forgive you.” I answered. I wasn’t even sure if it was the truth. But I could tell that my words were a soothing relief to her.
A smile beamed across her face as she jumped in place. “Thank you so much, Mitchie. I promise, you won’t regret taking my friendship back.”
I nodded. “Alright,” I was able to manage. They could all tell that my main priority wasn’t them. Liam seemed to understand. He took my hand and smiled at me.
“You should tell your mother goodbye, Mitchie.” His words were calming.
“I know. I really need to,” I agreed. I looked over to Harry and took his hand. We both let out a sigh that matched each other perfectly, and then we moved into the room.
I could feel all of the emotions that never showed outside of the room flow back in. My heart twitched, ached, and burned. She had her eyes closed. With a soft moan of pain, her eyes opened, and she saw us. With the little strength she had, she gave us a small smile.
“Come in,” She said softly.
Harry led me with a soft, but firm grip on my hand. He knew that I was in full flooded pain, and he understood that. But he also knew that if I didn’t say what I needed to get out, I could and would never have full closure. He tried to excuse himself from the room so we could have our moment, but I pleaded for him to stay. He agreed.
Mother put out her hand for me to take it. It took a moment, but I finally took her hand. Stroking it with my thumb, I listened to my mother speak. She was releasing her mind.
“Mitchie, remember a few months ago? When I told you that I didn’t have long to live?” She asked me with tears forming in her eyes.
I had a lump in my throat. I didn’t say anything, but I nodded to show her that I understood what it was she was talking about.
She sighed. “This is what I meant, baby. I didn’t tell you this, but when I was at the hospital for my visit, my doctor told me I was stage 4. He told me there really wasn’t any chance of me surviving. He said they had done all they could, but the illness was too strong. It’s spreading all over, Mitchie. I’ve got moments, and that’s it.”
“Please don’t tell me that, mom,” I sobbed through tears.
“Baby, listen,” She continued. “I didn’t want this to happen. The doctors tried all that they could. I don’t want you to be angry at anyone for this. This is no one’s fault.” She looked me dead in the eye. “Please, Mitchie, please don’t be angry at anyone anymore. I know you’re filled with it. But there’s no reason for it anymore. You’re pregnant. You’re taking on Kayla. You have a family to raise now. You must be strong for our family.”
She paused a moment and let me take in the information. I began to speak finally. “Mom, I’m going to miss you more than anything in this world. You were the one who helped me through everything. I’m breaking to know that you’re not going to live past the night.”
“I’ll be alright, darling,” She spoke. “You just have to realize that it’s all a part of life. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be watching down on you, baby. You’re never going to be alone from this moment on, Mitchie. You’ve fought hard to have what you have. Remember that you’re a blessed young woman. I want you to be strong for me and for Kayla. Even Harry too.”
Tears were rolling down my cheeks, I was crying at the words. My mother was being completely truthful. She told me all the had to tell me. I smiled, but tears still fell. She held onto my hand tighter and smiled at me.
“You’re going to make it, Mitchie. I have faith in you. You’ll do find, baby. I love you.”
I stopped the sobbing long enough to complete the conversation. “I’ll miss you, mommy. Tell grandma hi for me, okay?”
She smiled. “I will, Mitchie. I love you.”
I couldn’t hold on anymore. I had to get out of the room. There were people crowding the door as I walked out. I was furious that they tried to hear in on my conversation. But I didn’t bother with it anyway. I just turned and went the other direction. Harry followed close behind and held onto me while I cried.