My head ached and my body felt like jelly when I awoke the very next morning. I shot up and felt a sting in my fists. Looking down, I could see skin that had been busted and bruises that covered my hands clear up to the wrist. A thousand questions went through my head. Did I really beat the wall that much? How angry was I? Why couldn't I accept reality? I threw my arm against my forehead since I couldn't really move my hands. Then it hit me….Kayla. My heart raced. Had Kayla heard the conversation that went down? Did I scream loud enough for her to hear me and mom? Without even thinking about it, I was up and running down to Kayla’s bedroom to see what she was doing. As I closed in on the door, I felt my legs slow down. Nervously I looked at the door and slowly cracked it open. My heart felt at ease when I saw the little five year old sleeping with a smile on her tiny face. I walked in and sat on the bed next to her as I rubbed her hair.
The sudden realization hit me at that exact moment. If something were to happen to my mother, I would be responsible for this little girl. I wasn’t sure whether to be afraid or to be prepared. Both sides were battling with each other while I watched her sleep the morning away.

******
Across the room while I watched Kayla get her bag and race out to the bus, I heard the phone ring. I knew it had to be my father making yet another attempt to call me. He knew he didn’t have to pay child support for me anymore, so he had to be calling for Kayla. I wasn’t about to allow him to talk to her or even acknowledge her because I knew he’d let her down like he let me down. I walked over to the phone and looked at the caller I.D., and sure enough it was him. I read the I.D. in disgust.
James Fields. London, England.
The only thing I did with that call was send it straight to voicemail. I waited to hear what he had to say. I then heard the tenor voice I learned to hate.
“Mitchie? Mitchie, I know you’re there. Look, I know you’re upset with me, but please try to understand I’m trying to contact you. I- I want to be there for you and Kayla. I know I shouldn’t have walked out like I did, but you’re mother was steps from death and I couldn’t raise you on my own…” Anger flooded my body as I picked up the phone and screamed, “You think you’re a perfect father and you think what you did was for us? Well, it wasn’t! You’re a sorry fucking excuse for a dad and I hope you rot in hell! You’ll never have contact with me or Kayla because I’m not going to allow it. Hell, you don’t even have custody of her anymore and I’m a legal adult. As for mom, she’s sick but she’s still alive! You call yourself a father? I’m sure a pile of dog shit could have raised me and Kayla better than you. So, do me a favor and fuck off. Leave us alone! You’ve done enough damage!” I threw the phone down on the receiver and cleared the message before he could utter a word of defense. I heard my mom cough and I called to her, “Are you alright?”
“Yes, Mitchie. I’m fine. Remember my appointment today.” She weakly called to me.
“I haven’t forgotten, mother.” I said as I grabbed my car keys, “We should go now.”
****
“So, who was on the phone?” my mom asked me while I focused on the road. “The asshole himself.” I bluntly said. “Now, Mitchie, that is your father.” “Do I look like I fucking care?” I snapped. “I know you don’t, but if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t be here.” She tried to reason I cut her off before she could say another word, “I don’t fucking give a shit, mother! He left you because he didn’t think you’d live. He left me and Kayla to fend for ourselves. What kind of father does that to his family? He’s a selfish, greedy bastard that should die!” “Mitchie, that is enough!” She yelled at me. I slammed on my brake and look over at her with anger in my eyes. She looked at me. “Why the fuck would you defend him?!” “He’s my life, Mitchie.” “That’s a fucking lie.” I said between my teeth as I ground on them. “That’s your opinion, but he is my life.” She told me. I looked over at my mom. Her dull eyes started to get life and it made me ache inside because she knew he left her for another woman. She knew he stole, cheated, and lied to her and us. She knew he left her for dead. Yet, after all of this, she still loved him like the day they met each other. It made me wonder if love was what my mother had gone through. Part of me wanted to believe that, but the other half told me that I should expect more. I wasn’t sure which side was truthful.
“Why the hell would he be your life after all he has done to you?” I asked as I pulled into the hospital parking lot. “He was there for me when I was diagnosed with cancer. He helped me raise you. He was my first kiss, first marriage, first everything. If it wasn’t for him, I’m not sure I’d be here, Mitchie. You only see the bad in him, but I see the good. Let me just tell you, if you were alive when I was your age, you’d see the good in him outweighs the bad.” I shook my head as I parked the car. I watched as my mother got out of the car, “Do you need my help?” “Could you carry my bags? I’m not sure if they’ll keep me overnight.” “I will, mother.” I said as I got out of the car and carried two suitcases into the hospital. I shuttered at the doors as we walked in. I kept my eyes down to the floor. I didn’t know why and I just couldn’t explain why, but I hated hospitals. Not because of needles and illness, but because I watched my mom come in and out of these places and I eventually just developed a hatred for the hospital along with a hatred for my father. My mom looked over at me and noticed how uncomfortable I really was walking through the entrance. She stopped me when we got to the desk, “You go, alright?”
“But, mom…are you sure?” I questioned.
“Positive. I think you should call Aunt Barbara and see if she will watch Kayla. You need a night out. Get in touch with Cierra and see if she’ll call up her cousin and you three can go out together. I’ll give you my credit card, alright?” My mom told me.
“Now I really know you’re sick.” I joked with her. We both laughed, but my laughing was cut off when my mother handed me her card.
“I’m dead serious, Mitchie. Go on now. I’ll call you later.”
****
“I don’t see why I have to go see Aunt Barbara!” Kayla pouted as I put her bags into my aunt’s white mini-van.
“Don’t you want to go see your cousin Angela, Kayla? We haven’t seen her since three Christmases ago!” I looked at her with a smile on my face as Cierra came out holding Kayla’s stuffed bear.
“I want to hangout with you and Cierra, Mitchie.” She looked at me with pleading eyes.
I looked over at Cierra. She got the message and handed the bear down to Kayla, “Well, we’d love to as well. However, your sister and I are going out of town for a little while and no one will be able to watch after you.”
Kayla’s face looked confused, “Why?”
“Why what?” I asked Kayla.
“Why are you girls leaving?” She asked as she tugged on my pant leg.
Cierra stepped in, “We’re going out to do some business.” She winked at me.
“Oh,” Kayla said smiling, “when will you be back?”
“Tell you what, I’ll call you when we get ready to come get you.” Cierra gave her a high five as Kayla agreed with happiness and stepped into Barbara’s mini-van.
“Remember to call me when you get to London, girls.” my aunt said as she hugged us.
“We will.” I smiled.
“Don’t worry, I called my cousin and she’s going to greet us at the airport with her boyfriend.” Cierra smiled at my aunt.
“Alright, well you two have fun!”
“We will!”
With that, my sister was going to visit my aunt and we were off to London.