Bella's POV:

"Good morning, love." Harry whispered in my ear gently crawling back into the bed with a glass of water for me. I turned over and nodded in response, grabbing the glass and taking a few gulps. I had slept a solid 45 minutes last night, no exaggeration. "What's the plan for today?" He asked me kissing my shoulder softly.

"I don't feel well, I think I'm gonna stay in bed." I croaked out. My voice was raspy and sharp and my eyes were so swollen I could hardly see out of them. "Harry... What am I gonna tell Drew and Jamie... and what about everyone else." I said so quietly I wasn't sure he could hear me. I nudged him and he smiled at me.

"I already took care of that. I told Drew what happened and he and Jamie already left for their first days of classes, so you won't have to see them until later. Chloe, Perrie, Liam and Louis all are out either food shopping, running errands or whatever. Today it's just me, you, Niall and Zayn. Is that alright with you?" I nodded and sighed. It was so weird having someone take care of me, I was so used to doing it myself. I took another sip of water and heard a knock at the door.

"Bella!!!" Niall was at the door. He cheered jumping on top of me. I broke out the tiniest smile I could, and gave him a hug.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" I asked quietly.

"Seriously Bella?..." I was so confused.

"Out with it!" I demanded confusedly.

"It's your birthday....." Oops. I had completely forgotten that and it looks like everybody else did, besides Niall.

"Oh right haha... I guess it is. No offense Nialler, but I'm not really in the mood for celebrating." He nodded and Harry frowned.

"Happy birthday, love." Harry said kissing my cheek. I looked over at Niall who would usually be making an angry face right now, but instead he was rather cool and collected. I blushed at Harry who was smiling at me.

"So Niall, tell us about Chloe!" I said as cheerfully as I could. He looked over and smirked to himself and Harry nudged him laughing.

"We're sorta together... I think." I couldn't help but let out a little laugh. Typical Niall.

"You think, lad?! What does that mean?" Harry cracked up.

"Well I mean we had sex and all so.." I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Harry, Niall and I are were rolling on the ground laughing. Fucking Niall. He was so quirky and strange but he was honestly the best. Suddenly I stopped laughing and kinda just sat there thinking. It was my 18th birthday, and I'm more depressed than ever but I was cracking up about a silly comment from my best friend, and that was genuine. Basically, I'm a mess of emotions.

"Um I think I'm gonna take a shower and then kinda just hang around. I'll see you guys in a little." I said getting up from the bed. My body was so over tired I was struggling to walk towards the door. Niall led me to the stairs and I looked over my shoulder at the couch. Zayn was sweeping the broken glass and picking up the ripped book pages I threw around last night. I shivered and felt Niall's hand on my back.

"It's gonna be alright, Bell. We're all here for you." I nodded heading to the shower and turning on the water. I closed the door and pulled my hair back. I peeled off the bandage on my forehead revealing a long, deep cut. I kept looking at myself and started feeling sad again. I picked up the scissors in the bathroom and looked at them. I looked at their sharp tips, the chilling sound they made when I opened and closed them, and remembered the rush I used to get when I picked them up a long time ago when I was sad. I stared at myself for a few more minutes deciding what I was going to do. I started to scratch a little line across my wrist but stopped myself. Harry asked me not to do this, but there was so much sadness still inside of me. I looked in the mirror one last time and cocked my head.

"I need to change. I need a new Bella." I whispered to myself softly. I raised the scissors to my head and snip, snip, snip. Long blonde locks of hair fell down to the floor. This was my birthday gift to myself. A new Bella. I cut more and more hair off until it was so short I was scared I wouldn't be able to put it up for dance. I actually liked it, which was the best part.

I stepped into the shower and washed away all my pain, all my heart ache and all my misery, but I couldn't shake the image of my father. I sighed, some things you just can't un-see.

As I walked down the hallway in my towel I walked directly into Liam. "Hey Bella, Happy birthday!" He said giving me a big hug. "Did you... did you cut your hair?" I blushed.

"Thanks, and uh yeah, I'm trying to see things from a different perspective so new me, new hair!" I laughed. I'd loved to have stayed and chatted, but I was sorta naked under that towel so I rushed to my room and closed the door behind me.

I whispered to myself, "alone again," and shut the door behind me dropping my towel. All of the sudden I heard a chuckle behind me.

"Louis!!!! What the fuck!" I screamed picking up my towel and throwing a shoe at him. "That's not funny!"

"I didn't think you'd come in here and drop your towel when you walked in the door!" He laughed back to me. I shook my head and couldn't help but smile. I was still mad at Louis but the new Bella doesn't hold grudges. "I don't know what I love more, the new hair or the shot of your behind." He smirked.

"Shut up Louis. I gotta get dressed so get out." I said opening the door and pushing him out. I slammed the door on his bum and heard him yelp, which made me laugh. Dumb ass.

I got dressed in my favorite outfit I brought with me from Little Stream. I honestly felt pretty with my new hair, it felt more me. I knew that today was going to be another long day, so I would put on a brave face and be strong. 18 years ago today my mom and dad put me on this planet and even though I'm not happy today, I'm alive. They're not here anymore, and there was nothing I could do about it.

So happy birthday to me. Well let's try to make it a happy one at least.

Notes

Ok this was kinda short and since no one commented who they wanted Bella to be with, I couldn't decide. Please let me know what you guys think! This was a filler chapter for the next few.

thanks! xx

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