Nothing
Chapter 3
PAIGES POV:
The day Chris left me was the day that everything went downhill. I mean there was a point in my life where I thought I was going to die, but Chris was there to save me. Now, he's gone and I can't ever get him back. Some other skank is having the time of their life with my boy.
I haven't eaten at all in probably, 3 days and the grumbling pain is gone. My stomach is so used to having the starvation feeling, that it just stopped growling.
I've tried multiple times to contact Chris but every time I write him he says, "Who is this?" So obviously he deleted me. And yes, I stalk his Facebook and all he talks about are his plans for the day, and how he loves his girl. He even posted a selfie of them together. I was ready to throw a shit fit. Oh wait, I fucking did. The day he left, I called and left numerous messages that I know were just deleted. But I tried.
I realized that...I am depressed. Like clinically depressed. All I do is sit at home with my dog and watch TV. My couch is my best friend which is god awful I'm sorry.
I've been cutting much more lately. Just, the feeling of having that blade slide across my wrist and then watching the blood pour down my entire arm, it just makes me feel like nothing can hurt me, but myself. That nobody can touch me and ruin my life like Chris did. I wish I never met that boy. He's the reason for my cutting every single day. I'm going to have these scars forever because of one boy. My body has been falling apart gradually and I think about death a lot recently. Which tends to scare me. I know one day everybody has to die but if I keep doing what I am, I'm never going to live up to next week. I'm too young to die, I know it. I just can't stop what I'm doing, I don't know if I ever will.
I don't care how extreme this may sound but I absolutely HATE myself.
The day Chris left me was the day that everything went downhill. I mean there was a point in my life where I thought I was going to die, but Chris was there to save me. Now, he's gone and I can't ever get him back. Some other skank is having the time of their life with my boy.
I haven't eaten at all in probably, 3 days and the grumbling pain is gone. My stomach is so used to having the starvation feeling, that it just stopped growling.
I've tried multiple times to contact Chris but every time I write him he says, "Who is this?" So obviously he deleted me. And yes, I stalk his Facebook and all he talks about are his plans for the day, and how he loves his girl. He even posted a selfie of them together. I was ready to throw a shit fit. Oh wait, I fucking did. The day he left, I called and left numerous messages that I know were just deleted. But I tried.
I realized that...I am depressed. Like clinically depressed. All I do is sit at home with my dog and watch TV. My couch is my best friend which is god awful I'm sorry.
I've been cutting much more lately. Just, the feeling of having that blade slide across my wrist and then watching the blood pour down my entire arm, it just makes me feel like nothing can hurt me, but myself. That nobody can touch me and ruin my life like Chris did. I wish I never met that boy. He's the reason for my cutting every single day. I'm going to have these scars forever because of one boy. My body has been falling apart gradually and I think about death a lot recently. Which tends to scare me. I know one day everybody has to die but if I keep doing what I am, I'm never going to live up to next week. I'm too young to die, I know it. I just can't stop what I'm doing, I don't know if I ever will.
I don't care how extreme this may sound but I absolutely HATE myself.
Notes
Okay guys so this is like my third? update today I think...and this will probably be the last chapter that's in the past so yeah;) I know it's short but got to goo!hope you all like it!
tehehe;)
8/27/13