Fear
Chapter Eight
He asks me to open up to him. Like a flower blossoming, opening its petals for the first time. It touches the soft warm air, like a baby taking its first breath in the world where pain is evident in every movement.
He asks why I am so sad
Why do I shut down when I need to open up. He asks why angels like me not flutter their wings and fly to their peaceful residence. Why they not embrace their halos and white drapes
Why they come to this hell that houses other broken souls. I tell him:
We come to find other angels, who feel deep inside they are devils. The angels that have a burning ring in their chest that replaces their pure soul and turns black when anger is present
We angels find fallen spirits that float to hell like a balloon left without helium or a hopeless woman sinking to the bottom of the river because her blackened soul can take no more rejection and turns no more darker, it simply breaks apart like a smashed mirror that has seen more lost souls on the inside rather than the out.
That is why angels visit, to find spirits like you that need help more than they feel in that blackened heart that is so deeply crushed, it can only break apart.
I closed my book and realised everyone else was finished, waiting for him to let them leave. I checked the clock and gasped inwardly in horror. Was I really in my own world for over 33 minutes?!
I opened my journal again and checked my poem for any spelling mistakes and hadn't noticed Mr. Howard looking over my shoulder. I was so shocked to hear him speak and jumped muttering "God," while holding my hand over my heart that felt as though it could jump out of my throat and into my hand.
Alex laughed loudly for half a second before stifling it in his hand.
"This is amazing," he mumbled.
I smiled at him awkwardly. I was really embarrassed that he had picked it up reading it again in his head.
"Please don't read it aloud," I begged.
My face was already burning, if he would read it aloud I would probably die of heat stroke. The bell rang and I grabbed my paper from his hand. I hurried out of his class not wanting to hear what he would say.
I bumped into someone and almost fell. Warm arms wrapped around my waist and put my hands on the persons chest in surprise. Harry smiled at me an shook his was in fake disappointment.
"Clumsy, clumsy aren't we?" He asked cheekily.
I stood up straight and walked with him.
"I'm supposed to meet up with somebody," I told him bluntly.
I guess Harry and his personality was rubbing off on me.
"That arsehole?" Harry asked rudely.
"He's actually sweet. Unlike somebody," I hinted about Harry.
"I'm very sweet!" Harry interfered.
"You get high in the garden almost everyday and you tried to make out with me two weeks ago ," I told him.
"But you liked it!" He said cheekily.
"Ugh. Don't flatter yourself. It was a kiss," I scoffed.
"With my tongue," he licked his lips for emphasis.
"Whatever," I walked away.
After visiting my locker, I found Diamond and Alex and walked to lunch with them.
I hadn't seen Austin since we had talked and that bugged me. I shrugged it off since I didn't know him well enough to worry about his doings so I walked to lunch laughing and smiling with my friends. As we entered the cafeteria, soft arms wrapped around my waist and I sighed.
"Harry, stop."
"Good thing I'm not Harry," Austin said moving his head to the side of mine.
I smiled and giggled at my mistake. He kissed my cheek and I just wondered why he was getting so physical with me after one day?
I unwrapped his arms awkwardly and walked to the line, Austin following me. Austin said he was skipping gym class because he was sore from yesterday. He just wanted to sit with us until his next class.
We all sat at our usual table and Austin asked to sit next to me. I saw Harry come into Cafeteria knowing where I was and he glared at the back of Austin's head. I stared at Harry as he walked over and Austin looked over as well. Austin sat down his tray and walked to Harry as Harry walked over to him, too.
They started to argue in the middle of the room but their words were tuned out from the loud voices in the room.
"Ooh, I gotta record this," Alex said as he and Diamond took out their phones.
"Record what?"
As soon as I finished my sentence Harry threw a punch at Austin's face. They soon started fighting and the teens cheered them on. I ran and grabbed Harry's shoulders.
"Harry, Stop! It's not worth it!" I yelled over the noise.
He was on top of Austin punching him brutally.
"Please stop!" I almost cried at how hard he punched him.
He finally stood, causing me to stagger back in surprise that he had listened. Harry grabbed my arm after giving a bleeding Austin a stone hard look.
Where are the teachers when we need them?!
He walked me to his car and pushed me against the black object. He grabbed my face and kissed me roughly. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed faster and harder. I gripped the bottom of his shirt as I got sucked into the kiss. It was the one thing that I hated myself over: Harry could control anything I did with a kiss.
"You're... Mine," he mumbled into the kiss.
I nodded in agreement to him. His tongue entered my mouth without permission and I let him. Our tongues battled each other but made peace as we continued. It was the same kiss every time and I could tell it would never get old.
At the time I forgot about Austin. I forgot that he could come into this parking lot at anytime he wanted to and beat the hell out of Harry.
I just thought about me and Harry, and I thought about my heart that was blackened and if Harry left me, my soul would break itself because there was no more room for pain and rejection.
He asks why I am so sad
Why do I shut down when I need to open up. He asks why angels like me not flutter their wings and fly to their peaceful residence. Why they not embrace their halos and white drapes
Why they come to this hell that houses other broken souls. I tell him:
We come to find other angels, who feel deep inside they are devils. The angels that have a burning ring in their chest that replaces their pure soul and turns black when anger is present
We angels find fallen spirits that float to hell like a balloon left without helium or a hopeless woman sinking to the bottom of the river because her blackened soul can take no more rejection and turns no more darker, it simply breaks apart like a smashed mirror that has seen more lost souls on the inside rather than the out.
That is why angels visit, to find spirits like you that need help more than they feel in that blackened heart that is so deeply crushed, it can only break apart.
I closed my book and realised everyone else was finished, waiting for him to let them leave. I checked the clock and gasped inwardly in horror. Was I really in my own world for over 33 minutes?!
I opened my journal again and checked my poem for any spelling mistakes and hadn't noticed Mr. Howard looking over my shoulder. I was so shocked to hear him speak and jumped muttering "God," while holding my hand over my heart that felt as though it could jump out of my throat and into my hand.
Alex laughed loudly for half a second before stifling it in his hand.
"This is amazing," he mumbled.
I smiled at him awkwardly. I was really embarrassed that he had picked it up reading it again in his head.
"Please don't read it aloud," I begged.
My face was already burning, if he would read it aloud I would probably die of heat stroke. The bell rang and I grabbed my paper from his hand. I hurried out of his class not wanting to hear what he would say.
I bumped into someone and almost fell. Warm arms wrapped around my waist and put my hands on the persons chest in surprise. Harry smiled at me an shook his was in fake disappointment.
"Clumsy, clumsy aren't we?" He asked cheekily.
I stood up straight and walked with him.
"I'm supposed to meet up with somebody," I told him bluntly.
I guess Harry and his personality was rubbing off on me.
"That arsehole?" Harry asked rudely.
"He's actually sweet. Unlike somebody," I hinted about Harry.
"I'm very sweet!" Harry interfered.
"You get high in the garden almost everyday and you tried to make out with me two weeks ago ," I told him.
"But you liked it!" He said cheekily.
"Ugh. Don't flatter yourself. It was a kiss," I scoffed.
"With my tongue," he licked his lips for emphasis.
"Whatever," I walked away.
After visiting my locker, I found Diamond and Alex and walked to lunch with them.
I hadn't seen Austin since we had talked and that bugged me. I shrugged it off since I didn't know him well enough to worry about his doings so I walked to lunch laughing and smiling with my friends. As we entered the cafeteria, soft arms wrapped around my waist and I sighed.
"Harry, stop."
"Good thing I'm not Harry," Austin said moving his head to the side of mine.
I smiled and giggled at my mistake. He kissed my cheek and I just wondered why he was getting so physical with me after one day?
I unwrapped his arms awkwardly and walked to the line, Austin following me. Austin said he was skipping gym class because he was sore from yesterday. He just wanted to sit with us until his next class.
We all sat at our usual table and Austin asked to sit next to me. I saw Harry come into Cafeteria knowing where I was and he glared at the back of Austin's head. I stared at Harry as he walked over and Austin looked over as well. Austin sat down his tray and walked to Harry as Harry walked over to him, too.
They started to argue in the middle of the room but their words were tuned out from the loud voices in the room.
"Ooh, I gotta record this," Alex said as he and Diamond took out their phones.
"Record what?"
As soon as I finished my sentence Harry threw a punch at Austin's face. They soon started fighting and the teens cheered them on. I ran and grabbed Harry's shoulders.
"Harry, Stop! It's not worth it!" I yelled over the noise.
He was on top of Austin punching him brutally.
"Please stop!" I almost cried at how hard he punched him.
He finally stood, causing me to stagger back in surprise that he had listened. Harry grabbed my arm after giving a bleeding Austin a stone hard look.
Where are the teachers when we need them?!
He walked me to his car and pushed me against the black object. He grabbed my face and kissed me roughly. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed faster and harder. I gripped the bottom of his shirt as I got sucked into the kiss. It was the one thing that I hated myself over: Harry could control anything I did with a kiss.
"You're... Mine," he mumbled into the kiss.
I nodded in agreement to him. His tongue entered my mouth without permission and I let him. Our tongues battled each other but made peace as we continued. It was the same kiss every time and I could tell it would never get old.
At the time I forgot about Austin. I forgot that he could come into this parking lot at anytime he wanted to and beat the hell out of Harry.
I just thought about me and Harry, and I thought about my heart that was blackened and if Harry left me, my soul would break itself because there was no more room for pain and rejection.
This is soo good update please
12/29/13