“Harry, that exhausted me,” I said as I collapsed onto his chest, while we laid on the couch in Anne’s living room.

“I know, that lasted too long,” he said as he wiped the hair off his, sweat covered, forehead.

“Especially when we took it outside, Anne’s neighbors probably think terribly of us now,” I told him as I played with the rings on his fingers.

“Oh well, we had a blast. I still find it absolutely hot that you enjoy having nerf gun wars with me at random,” Harry said and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah well it’s not every day your fiancé wakes you up by shooting your forehead with a nerf gun and telling you you’ve got a minute until the real game starts.”

“It’s our vacation and we’re supposed to be having fun, not sleeping all day,” Harry said as he kissed my forehead.

“I love sleep and if I—“

“—could you’d sleep all day. I know, babe,” Harry said with a smug smile on his face as he cut me off from speaking.

“I hate you,” I, jokingly, told him with a smile on my face as I brought my lips down on his.

“Speaking of hate, management called me this morning while you were asleep,” Harry said as he shifted around so we were now sitting up.

“Why?” I asked him, confusion written on my face.

“Word got around that Taylor Swift is trying to go public about her and I’s fake relationship and how I was in a relationship with you while I was supposed to be ‘dating’ her,” Harry said as he held my hands in his.

“Okay…and what did management have to say?” I, cautiously, asked him.

“Don’t get mad, okay?” Harry asked and I nodded my head. “They want us to speak out about it. But not only about the fake relationship…they want us to open up about the real reason we broke up in the first place, you and I.”

“Harry, I don’t think—“

“Before you continue your sentence, I know it sounds bad, but there’s this new charity that’s up and coming for women who suffer from PTSD due to miscarriages or stillbirths and management thinks it’d be a good idea for us to get on board with it. It’ll obviously look good for me to do so, if we were to tell the tale of our infamous break up thanks to my douche bag ways, but they also think it’ll help calm the fire you’re getting from the fans.” I couldn’t help but be stunned at the words coming from Harry’s mouth. Management wanted us to tell the world that Harry and I broke up last year because I was pregnant. Harry seemed to think it was a good idea, because why else would he be speaking to me in a convincing manner. Harry wanted to tell the world he was a douche bag and told me to get an abortion or we were over. That’s a big step for him to take, because who knew how the world would handle that information.

“It seems like your mind is pretty made up,” I said to him as I looked into his green eyes.

“I know you’re thinking that this could go badly for me, and it definitely could. But, I think it’s time to show the fans that I’m not this perfect guy standing on their pedestal’s.” I moved myself off of Harry’s lap and sat beside him while putting my head in my hands. This wouldn’t just make Harry look bad, it’d make me look bad too. People would think I was weak for taking him back after he gave me that ultimatum. I pushed my hands through my hair and turned my head to look at Harry, who was waiting for me to speak. I took a deep breath before speaking my thoughts on the topic.

“It’s a terrible idea,” I told Harry, who nodded his head. “But I’ll only do it if Grimmy does the interview. I refuse to talk about it with someone who doesn’t know either of us.”

“I figured that much, and I already told management that because I feel the same way,” Harry added with a small smile on his face.

“This is going to blow up in their faces, I can see it now,” I said, shaking my head.

“And if it does, they’ll have been wrong, and we’ll go through the backlash together,” Harry reassured me as he pulled me into his lap again.

“I suppose,” I said, still unsure of the whole ordeal.

“There’s also one more thing they want us to do,” Harry, quietly, said as he played with my hair.

“Oh god, do I even want to know?” I groaned to him.

“You remember how those videos of us doing karaoke, a few months ago, were posted onto the internet thanks to Niall?” Harry asked and I nodded with a goofy smile as I remembered that night. Harry and I were way past drunk and singing our version of Carly Rae Jepsen’s song ‘Call Me Maybe’, neither of us knowing that Niall was videotaping us. “Well, management wants us to record a single for the charity.” My mouth fell open and just as I was going to deny doing that, the front door swung open and Anne walked into the house with grocery bags in her arms.

“I’m home! Help me unload the car, will you Abby and Harry?” Anne yelled into the house. We both stood to walk outside, but before we could I stopped Harry.

“This conversation isn’t over,” I told him while pointing my finger at him, he, shyly, nodded his head before letting me walk out the door first. I was not going to record a single with Harry, not only did I not want people to hear my horrendous voice singing, but I didn’t want rumors to speculate that Harry and the boys were breaking up.

After we finished helping Anne unload the car, we helped her put the groceries away before we snuck upstairs to change out of our sweaty clothes from our nerf war earlier on. I was just replacing my pajama pants with a pair of Harry’s sweatpants when I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and stick his head in the crook of my neck. I could smell his hair, which smelled of almonds and vanilla, as it tickled my ear. Harry pressed a kiss to my shirt clad collarbone before looping his fingers in the waistband of my pants—well his pants that I was wearing.

“Harry, don’t act like I forgot management wants us to sing a song together,” I warned him as he continued to kiss my neck, surely leaving his mark.

“Out of all the things management wants us to do right now, why is the song the most upsetting thing?” Harry groaned as he pressed his forehead to my shoulder.

“Oh, I don’t know…maybe because I can’t sing,” I said to him, with disbelief. He picked his head up and turned me around so I was facing him, and I could tell he was getting angry by the way his lips were in a fine line.

“Don’t be daft!” Harry said, raising his voice by an octave or two. “You have a wonderful singing voice, you practically put me to sleep with it or make me want to dance my little heart out.”

“You have to say that,” I told him with a glare.

“No I don’t. I’m not your husband yet, I’m only your fiancée. And when have I ever lied to you about something like that, Abby?” He asked me and I quickly looked at my feet.

“Never,” I quietly said. I felt Harry put two of his fingers under my chin and lightly pushed my chin upward so I was looking into his eyes.

“You can sing, Abby. I know you love being behind the camera, but I think it’s time you make a little cameo in front of the lens,” Harry whispered as he pressed his forehead to mine.

“What if people think One Direction is breaking up, though? Then they’ll blame me,” I muttered to him.

“We’ll tell everyone that it would mean more if just you and I sang the song, because we have more of a connection to the charity. And that the boys back us up one hundred percent on the song,” Harry told me while pressing a kiss to my nose, making me smile at the gesture.

“But do they?” I asked him, and he looked at me with confusion. “Support this rash idea?”

“Management already spoke with them, and they think it would be a great thing for us to do.”

“Do we at least get to pick which song we cover?” I asked him, becoming more convinced with the idea. I mean, the guys were supportive of the idea and I’d be singing it with Harry, the calm of my stormy life.

“Of course, and I’ll leave that entire selection up to you,” Harry said, a smile plastered on his face as he gazed at me, foreheads still pressed together.

“Great, not only do I have to plan a wedding but now I have to choose the perfect song for a charity event,” I groaned and Harry pressed a kiss to my lips, and I gladly kissed him back.

“Speaking of our wedding, mum wants to discuss some ideas with you. Since you’ve gotten nowhere with planning anything,” Harry told me as he pulled away and changed his shirt.

“We’ve gotten some places! We picked the color theme! Maroon and navy, our favorite colors, that go perfectly together,” I exasperated to him as I, too, changed my shirt.

“So we’ve planned one thing, we still haven’t picked a date,” Harry said as he sat on his bed, and signaled for me to come sit beside him, which I obliged to.

“We’ve narrowed it down to a fall wedding though,” I told him as I looked up at him through my eye lashes.

“Why don’t we narrow it down to a month then, yeah?” Harry asked as he moved a piece of hair behind my ear.

“September,” I, simply, told him.

“Why September?”

“I think it’s the prettiest month, during the fall, in England,” I shrugged.

“Alright, now we’re getting somewhere,” Harry said with a smile on his face. I knew talking about our wedding made him happy, and it made me happy too. “We know one more thing!”

“What’s that?” I asked him.

“Niall’s going to be my best man and Charlotte is going to be your maid of honor,” Harry said with a little bit of a weary smile.

“I still think it’s a bad idea, since they broke up, but I’m sure they’ll be civil with one another.”

“Love, it’s not like Niall or Charlotte cheated on one another. They broke up because the distance was too much for both of them,” Harry informed me and I just nodded my head. “I bet when Charlotte finishes up with graduate school, they’ll be getting back together.”

“You’re probably right. How do you think Louis will react to Niall being your best man?” I asked him. Harry and Louis had been drifting apart a lot lately, and everyone could tell. Sure, they were still best mates but they’ve hardly been hanging out and none of us knew why, not even Harry. But ever since the Take Me Home tour, Niall and Harry have been hanging out a lot more lately. I loved that because Niall was my best friend so it was nice to come home from a photo shoot to see Harry and Niall playing FIFA in the living room, or finding both of them drunk and doing their own impersonations of Geordie Shore.

“I think he’ll be upset, but I’m hoping he’ll understand. You know I try to hang out with him, but he never wants to,” Harry confessed to me, and I took his hand in my mine. “I don’t get why him and I had a falling out, you know? We’ve been best mates since boot camp, and now it seems like I hardly know him. I miss the Louis that would give me wedgies while I was sleeping or the Louis that would slap me with a banana, just for the heck of it.”

“I know you do, Harry. Maybe he’s jealous of the friendship you have with Niall?” I offered to him but he shook his head.

“I don’t know what it is, but I hope I figure it out sooner or later. I mean, when he came over earlier in the week, it was like everything was back to normal. But then the next day he’s all hostile towards me.”

“Maybe he’s going through things, you just need to give him time. He’ll come around,” I reassured him with a smile.

“How do you think Charlotte will react to being your maid of honor?” Harry asked, changing the topic, which I let him do.

“We made a promise back when we were younger that we would be each other’s maid of honors, no matter where life took us. So she already knows…and she’s ecstatic,” I told him with a smile planted on my face.

“Are we going to have a simple wedding or a lavish one?” Harry pondered.

“A simple wedding. Harry we aren’t lavish people, we spend our Friday nights at home watching movies and playing video games. We donate more money to charity than we spend on things. We are two very simple people, who will have a very simple wedding,” I told him and he pressed his lips to mine in a loving kiss.

“Who knew getting the basics of a wedding could be so easy?” Harry, amusingly, said and I just rolled my eyes at him.

“You just wait until we send the invitations out, then it’ll be really stressful. And you’ll be there every step of the way with me,” I, sweetly, said to him as I pinched his cheek.

“Somebody’s going to have to stop you from punching everyone in their throats when you become a bridezilla,” Harry joked as he kissed me.

“I don’t think I’ll be too bad,” I told him and he smiled at me, knowingly. “Okay, so I’ll be a bitch, but every girl is like that!”

“But you’ll be nice to me right?”

“But of course, Harold,” I told him as I played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Wanna know what I’m most looking forward to about this wedding?” He asked.

“If you say all the sex we’re going to have on the honeymoon, I swear I’ll kill you in your sleep,” I, playfully, warned him.

“Well, I mean I am looking forward to that too, but I’m mainly looking forward to the moment where the preacher announces us as Mr. and Mrs. Harry Styles,” Harry said as he stared into my blue eyes. I couldn’t help but blush under his gaze, he made me feel so vulnerable when he looked at me with a serious expression-- a loving expression.

“I can’t wait for that either,” I told him, placing a loving hand on his cheek. We gazed into each other’s eyes with matching, vibrant smiles on our faces as we enjoyed this tender exchange.

“Are you looking forward to all the sex on the honeymoon too?” Harry asked, hope filling his eyes, as he ruined our moment. I rolled my eyes before answering him.

“Yes, Harry. I’m looking forward to jumping your bones every second of our honeymoon,” I told him as I slapped his chest, playfully. We sat in silence for a little bit until the time of year dawned on me, it was almost December. It’s been almost a year since my miscarriage.

“Hey Harry?” I said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?” He replied as he looked at me with his eyebrows bunched together.

“Did you or do you ever wonder what our kid would have been like? If I didn’t have a miscarriage?” I asked him as I looked at our feet, suddenly becoming shy talking about this topic.

“What brought this topic up?” Harry asked, avoiding my question.

“December 3rd is coming up,” I, quietly, said. I turned to look at Harry as he thought about the significance of the date and then it dawned on him, that was the night I suffered my miscarriage.

“I used to think about it a lot, especially during the time we were broken up,” he told me, and I nodded my head.

“What do you think it would have been like?” I asked him.

“It’d have my curly hair, with your blue eyes and freckles, along with my dimples. It’d have a mixture of an English-American accent with your smile. They’d be athletic but mostly artsy like us. It would have your bubbly personality and my charm. They would be one of the most confident kids around, because we would tell it that it doesn’t matter what people think of you, all that matters is you love yourself,” Harry confessed to me as he looked at the wall in front of us. “Do you think, if I wasn’t a jerk and we decided to keep the baby, that we would be good parents?” Harry asked and I quickly snapped my head in his direction to look at him.

“Of course, we’re reasonable people. I think we would be the type of parents that wanted their kids to know that they can come to us for anything and we won’t be mad. I think that’s important, because I never had that growing up but I always longed for it, you know?” I asked him and he nodded his head.

“It kind of scares me to think that when we do have kids, I’ll still be in the music business travelling the world and missing things like them walking or talking. I think that’s what scared me the most about you being pregnant last year, not just that it would slow our careers down, but I’d miss those milestone events,” Harry informed me, and it was the first time he ever voiced these thoughts to me.

“Harry, don’t be stupid,” I told him and he bunched his eyebrows as he looked at me. “I would never let you miss something in our kids’ lives. I would videotape them like crazy, and we’d always be out to visit you on the road,” I told him as I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together.

“Yeah, but I still wouldn’t be there physically. It just scares me,” he confessed as he looked at the ground.

“Look at me, Harry,” I asked him but he kept his gaze on the floor. “Would you look at me?!” I said to him with a smile on my face, and he obliged.

“We’ve got plenty of time to figure out what we’re going to do. Let’s get through with the wedding first, then we’ll start talking kids, okay?” I asked him and he nodded his head. “Now kiss me,” I told him and a smile broke out on his face as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips.

Notes

What do you guys think their baby would have been like?

XOXO,
Jade

Title Credit:
Song: In Repair
Artist: Tim Hanauer