Devotion
Chapter Five
“So what did you get up to last night?” Brooke giggled, while not looking up from her magazine she was currently holding. I had begun tip-toeing through the house and into the kitchen of my small, city located apartment just in case Brooke was still asleep before almost having a heart attack once I’d heard her speak. “Last night’s clothes I’m guessing?” She sent a wink in my direction from her spot at the kitchen table. “So… who’s the guy?”
“…It was James.” I told her hesitantly as I placed my handbag and heels on the table in front of Brooke who looked up at me for a brief second before staring back down at the pages of ‘Vogue’ she was flicking through.
“As in your co-worker James?” Brooke asked, surprised, skimming through the magazine faster and faster.
“You don’t have to act so surprised. It’s not against any rules… I've already checked.” I admitted with shame.
“I’m actually surprised that you had sex with someone you’re not in a proper relationship with, it’s so unlike you.” She replied, emphasizing the word ‘sex’ like it was forbidden. Cause she’s the saint? I thought to myself.
“I don’t have to be in a relationship with them.” I tried to stand up for myself.
“Grace, I can practically see the guilt radiating off of you from here.” She told, ironically she still hadn't looked up at me from her reading material.
“I’m not guilty…” I whispered causing an eye-brow raise from my roommate while she read an article she had stopped on.
“Fine, you win…I’m so embarrassed!” I cried out. “Why did I do that?” I asked myself, throwing my arms up into the air.
“I knew you weren't totally like me!” She laughed. She finally looked up at me before putting her magazine down onto the table. “Did you have fun at least?”
“I can’t talk now; I desperately need a shower…” I cried before making my way to the bathroom.
-
An hour later and I was ready for the day, which actually was to consist of working at my office… with James in the room next-door. “Morning Grace!” The receptionist called out to me as I entered the building, like she does every morning, probably out of habit. I tried flattening my hair before I walked over to her as the wind outside had made it stand up in all different directions.
“Is James here yet?” I asked.
“Yes, he arrived like ten minutes ago.”
“Ok thanks.” I said before going straight into my smallish office, shutting the door behind me and diving into the pile of work that was already on my desk, so to distract me from the James situation. A short while later I heard a knock at the door. “Come in.” I called out. Of course, it was James.
“Hey.” He said, making me look up from the paper-work I was filling out.
“Hi.” I replied. He stood there awkwardly for what seemed like a few hours.
“Why did you leave so early this morning?” He asked casually, like I had spent every morning at his house.
“I’ve never done that before, I didn't know if I was meant to leave early or wake up with you…”
“I will always want to wake up with you.” He told me slowly and truthfully. I laughed nervously, unable to respond. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and I hoped he didn’t notice me blushing.
“That’s sweet James but...”
“No buts, please. At least let me take you out on a proper date and then you can decide.” He begged.
“Fine.” I agreed. I really don’t want to lose what we have already, I thought. But I might as well try and see if this can turn into anything I guess…
“Is tomorrow night alright with you?”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.” I tried to be enthusiastic about it.
“Ok, cool. I’ll pick you up at seven. Oh, and wear something kind of fancy.” He told me before leaving my office. God, he’s taking me somewhere fancy? Now what am I going to wear?! I don’t think I own anything fancy!
-
“C’mon, you have to wear this! You’ll look stunning!” Brooke pressured me into wearing one of her many dresses she owned. We were standing in her room, her open closet seemed like another world to me.
“No, this is stupid. I should just call him and cancel.” I moaned. I heard a sharp intake of air coming from Brooke.
“What? Why?” She gasped. “He’s so cute and you guys would be so amazing together!”
“Do you really think so?” I asked, slightly worried. I began fingering a piece of fabric off a dress that was lying on her bed.
“Yes!” She cried. “Why are you worrying?”
“It’s just…” I began my sentence. “I don’t know. I mean, what if he hurts me?” I had my face tilting downwards towards the floor in embarrassment. I had never admitted to anyone that I was afraid I would be hurt in a relationship, causing my definite lack of boyfriends (that and many other reasons added up to why I was pretty much always single).
“Hun, if they do anything to hurt you, you know I’ll always be there for you. You can’t keep living in fear of a broken relationship.” I guess she’s right… I looked up from the ground. “C’mon,” She gestured for me to come over to her. “Let’s get you ready for you date.”
“…It was James.” I told her hesitantly as I placed my handbag and heels on the table in front of Brooke who looked up at me for a brief second before staring back down at the pages of ‘Vogue’ she was flicking through.
“As in your co-worker James?” Brooke asked, surprised, skimming through the magazine faster and faster.
“You don’t have to act so surprised. It’s not against any rules… I've already checked.” I admitted with shame.
“I’m actually surprised that you had sex with someone you’re not in a proper relationship with, it’s so unlike you.” She replied, emphasizing the word ‘sex’ like it was forbidden. Cause she’s the saint? I thought to myself.
“I don’t have to be in a relationship with them.” I tried to stand up for myself.
“Grace, I can practically see the guilt radiating off of you from here.” She told, ironically she still hadn't looked up at me from her reading material.
“I’m not guilty…” I whispered causing an eye-brow raise from my roommate while she read an article she had stopped on.
“Fine, you win…I’m so embarrassed!” I cried out. “Why did I do that?” I asked myself, throwing my arms up into the air.
“I knew you weren't totally like me!” She laughed. She finally looked up at me before putting her magazine down onto the table. “Did you have fun at least?”
“I can’t talk now; I desperately need a shower…” I cried before making my way to the bathroom.
-
An hour later and I was ready for the day, which actually was to consist of working at my office… with James in the room next-door. “Morning Grace!” The receptionist called out to me as I entered the building, like she does every morning, probably out of habit. I tried flattening my hair before I walked over to her as the wind outside had made it stand up in all different directions.
“Is James here yet?” I asked.
“Yes, he arrived like ten minutes ago.”
“Ok thanks.” I said before going straight into my smallish office, shutting the door behind me and diving into the pile of work that was already on my desk, so to distract me from the James situation. A short while later I heard a knock at the door. “Come in.” I called out. Of course, it was James.
“Hey.” He said, making me look up from the paper-work I was filling out.
“Hi.” I replied. He stood there awkwardly for what seemed like a few hours.
“Why did you leave so early this morning?” He asked casually, like I had spent every morning at his house.
“I’ve never done that before, I didn't know if I was meant to leave early or wake up with you…”
“I will always want to wake up with you.” He told me slowly and truthfully. I laughed nervously, unable to respond. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and I hoped he didn’t notice me blushing.
“That’s sweet James but...”
“No buts, please. At least let me take you out on a proper date and then you can decide.” He begged.
“Fine.” I agreed. I really don’t want to lose what we have already, I thought. But I might as well try and see if this can turn into anything I guess…
“Is tomorrow night alright with you?”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good.” I tried to be enthusiastic about it.
“Ok, cool. I’ll pick you up at seven. Oh, and wear something kind of fancy.” He told me before leaving my office. God, he’s taking me somewhere fancy? Now what am I going to wear?! I don’t think I own anything fancy!
-
“C’mon, you have to wear this! You’ll look stunning!” Brooke pressured me into wearing one of her many dresses she owned. We were standing in her room, her open closet seemed like another world to me.
“No, this is stupid. I should just call him and cancel.” I moaned. I heard a sharp intake of air coming from Brooke.
“What? Why?” She gasped. “He’s so cute and you guys would be so amazing together!”
“Do you really think so?” I asked, slightly worried. I began fingering a piece of fabric off a dress that was lying on her bed.
“Yes!” She cried. “Why are you worrying?”
“It’s just…” I began my sentence. “I don’t know. I mean, what if he hurts me?” I had my face tilting downwards towards the floor in embarrassment. I had never admitted to anyone that I was afraid I would be hurt in a relationship, causing my definite lack of boyfriends (that and many other reasons added up to why I was pretty much always single).
“Hun, if they do anything to hurt you, you know I’ll always be there for you. You can’t keep living in fear of a broken relationship.” I guess she’s right… I looked up from the ground. “C’mon,” She gestured for me to come over to her. “Let’s get you ready for you date.”
You're welcome :)
7/18/13