It Takes Patience
Chapter 39: Explode
I took a deep breath, ran my hands through my hair, and pinched my bottom lip before I looked at Reagan and started to talk.
“I had just turned seventeen and I tried to talk my mum into letting me come back up here so that I could hang out with the lads. We moved to Cheshire after my dad died. My dads doctors and chemo was in here in London so we lived here, but it was too much on my mum at the time to stay. She didn’t want me to come up because every time I came home from visiting Louis I had a new tattoo and she hates them. Her and my step-dad were in the middle of a nasty divorce because my mum had met Robin and realized how much of an asshole Clive was...”
I paused when I realized I said his name and began to feel bile rise from my stomach. I haven’t said it in so long and I meant to keep it that way. I looked up at Reagan and she had her hand on the tape recorder. The light flashed on and off so I know it was recording us talk and I convinced myself that she doesn’t really care. I couldn’t look at her long because if I did I know I wouldn’t be able to finish the story.
“Anyway, she told me no and it pissed me off so I took my car when she went to bed on Friday and came up here regardless to what she said. When she woke up the next morning and I wasn’t there she called me but I wouldn’t answer then she called Clive thinking that I may have gone there. I don't know why though she knew I hated him. They hadn’t really been speaking so that turned into an argument...” I took a deep breath, the closer I got to telling her the more anxious I get.
“Me and the lads were at a party that night and me Louis and Zayn had just gotten into a fight with some other kids there so I was already full of adrenaline. We had to leave and I decided it would be best for me to head back home. I was twenty minutes away when Clive called me to tell me that my mum was at his house looking for me. It had to be around 2 a.m. when I got to his place and I was drunk and high...” I stopped and Reagan put her hand on mine to try to get me to keep going, but I don’t think I can.
“It’s okay H.” I tore my hand away from hers and looked away again because I can feel my eyes glaze over with tears and I blink them away. I refuse to be emotional in that way in front of her.
“I know it’s okay I’m fine!” I snap at her to take control over my emotions so that I can finish talking and be done with it...with her.
“I didn’t see my mum’s car at his house but I was too far gone to put two and two together. I unlocked the door because I still had keys to his house and he used to have this stupid table in the hallway that had flowers in it. I bumped into the table and the vase fell and broke.”
The room was spinning when I finally managed to get into the house. I bumped into a table knocking over a vase. It almost fell in slow motion as I watched it shatter on the ground. A light came on, too bright and my eye and face already hurts.
“Who the fuck is in my house?” Clive turned on the hall light blinding me. I know he’s pissed but I can’t stop smiling. I bend down to pick up the broken vase when I see his feet at the floor by my hand. Clive grabs a fist full of my hair and yanks me up by it.
“What the fuck did you break now you worthless little shit?!” Clive slapped me in the face where I had been punched only a few hours ago and my reaction is too delayed to try and stop him. I can now clearly smell the alcohol on his breath.
“Where’s my mum you dick?!” Clive slammed my face against the wall causing me to fall to my knees and then kicked me in the stomach. I bit my tongue when I hit the wall and began to spit out the coppery tasting blood that began to fill my mouth.
“I’m asking the questions! Where the fuck have you been?! You had your cheating whore mum calling my house looking for you!” I wasn’t trying to laugh and smile but I can’t help it. I had been in a shit mood all day and the X really helps.
“You better answer me you dozy fucker! And wipe that damn grin off your face or I’ll do it for you!” I spit the blood on his shirt and laugh again causing him to hit me repeatedly.
“You hit like the bitch that you are Clive!” The X kicked in heavy and I began to feel numb. I know he hit me hard but I couldn’t feel it. Clive hit me harder the last time to prove a point and the blow sobers me slightly. I begin to panic as my conscience kicks in, almost as if it could embody a third person in the room. 'Mum’s not here, she never was here! Leave! Now!' I try to get up and get away when Clive grabs my ankle making me fall and elbows me in the back causing a seizing pain that I’ve never felt before. When I screamed he got on top of me and I blacked out. When I came back to, I was on top of Clive. My hands were around his neck and when I looked down at him, blood began to pool under his head. He wasn’t moving... He wasn’t breathing either. When I realized what I had done it was too late. I got up and rushed to the bathroom when I felt myself become sick then went into the kitchen to call Gemma. The phone rang for too long and just when I thought about hanging up, she answered.
“Gemma I killed him! Oh CHRIST! I killed him! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to Gemma! OH FUCK!” I choked out the words as I sobbed into the phone to my sister.
“Harry what are you talking about?! Stop it you’re scaring me!”
“I killed Clive! I killed Clive! He said he was going to hurt mum! I thought she was here! She was here! I didn’t mean to Gemma! I didn't mean to! Help me please! What do I do?!! What did I do?! Oh God! Oh my God!” I could hear Gemma begin cry on the other end of the line before she quickly pulled herself together for my sake.
“Harry, Harry calm down. You have to hang up and call the police.”
“I don’t want to go to jail Gemma! It was an accident! Please don't let them send me to jail!”
“It will be okay Harry. You have to call the police!”
*End Flash Back*
I lifted up my head slowly to look at Reagan and there were tears running down her face and pity clear across her expression. The last thing I need or want is pity, fake pity at that. I could feel anger rise in me and clenched my jaw turning to look away from Reagan.
As Harry continues to tell me what happens, it gets harder and harder for me to listen to. I feel so bad for him and this extra weight he carries. Everything begins to make more sense about Harry now, especially with the fear he has of his mom getting remarried. It makes me feel sick when he talks about the way his step-father treated him. It’s not until Harry stops talking that I realize that I’m crying.
“Harry that wasn’t you fault. It was self-defense. Who knows what would have happened to you if you didn’t fight back. It’s not your fault.” I reach my hand up to touch Harry’s cheek and he pulls back from me. When he was telling the story there was a moment when he was near tears and now a cold stony facial expression takes the place of the broken pained one I saw before.
“I know what you’re doing Reagan! You have your story now. You don’t have to act like you care anymore.” Harry snarls and his words throw me completely off.
“What? Harry what do you me-”
“Just stop Reagan this act you’re putting on is getting old really fast. We’re done here right? Good luck with your paper.” Harry stands abruptly and leaves the café and I am on my feet right after him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” As soon as we get outside I grab his arm and turn him to face me using force that I didn’t know that I had. The rain has picked up and it doesn’t take long before we are both soaked.
“You got what you wanted Reagan! It’s done with! That's it!”
“Harry what are you talking about?!” When Harry raises his voice again, I raise mine an octave higher. It had turned into a screaming match in the middle of the pavement in front of the small café and people who walked by gave us cautious glances as they passed.
“Just fuck off Reagan! Leave me alone!” Harry took a step to walk away and I went in front of him to block his path. He owes me an explanation!
“NO! Harry what did I do?! What did I do to you to make you so angry?!”
“I’m not doing this here! I won’t!" Harry moves me out of the way and I can feel electricity and adrenalin rush through my veins. I follow Harry all the way to his car and stand in front of it when he starts it.
“Reagan MOVE.” I begin to run out of ideas and get frantic before I speak.
“Can you at least take me home Harold?! Its raining! You won’t have to see me anymore after that besides sessions. I won’t bother you anymore.” The rain gets heavier and I can see Harry’s jaw clench but he still unlocks the door. I climb into the car and the ride home is quick and silent. Water droplets from the rain roll off of Harry’s beautifully angered face then to chin and onto his lap as he pulls in front of my building. Before I open the door to get out of the car I look at Harry and he looks back at me before he grabs my face and crashes his lips into mine.
I am shocked by the aggressive physical contact from him at first, but when I realize what is happening I respond just as aggressively. I unbuckle my seat-belt and break the kiss briefly in order to remove the restraint. Harry does the same and then pulls me over the compartment in the middle of the car and onto his lap. I’ve missed this, and although it has only been a few days since we’ve embraced each other in an intimate way, its felt as if it’s been ages. I can feel him shaking under me and I know that he is still angry. I shouldn’t be doing this and my focused side kicks in to let me know it. I'm weak. Way too weak to be around Harry by myself, but in a way he makes me weaker and stronger at the same time. Harry runs his cold hand up my shirt and it's the sweetest contrast to the heat that is on my skin.
“Harry..” When I moan his name he breaks the kiss and the look on his face is unreadable again.
“What do you want from me?” Harry asks the question and I feel my insides quiver and my heart skip several beats. Our faces are still close together and when he breathes out goose bumps rise on my skin.
“I want you inside of me, please H. I want you to fuck me” Harry looked down for a moment but when he looked back at me he nods his head and the smirk that makes me melt graces his lips. I reach for the door and open it kissing Harry the entire time and when I hop off of his lap I pull him out of the car and shut the door. We get on the elevator and get to my floor before I remember that Channel is here and she’s visiting me.
“Harry wait here for a second.” When I turned to look at H. he looked at me and nodded his head up and down while running a hand through his hair that was now wet from the rain.
When I opened the door and called for Channel the apartment was empty and as soon as I knew that we were alone I grabbed Harry out of the hallway and attacked him.
Our kiss grew feverish again quickly and we began to shed our wet clothes by the door leaving them in a trail that led to my bedroom. By the time got to the bed, both of us were completely naked. I pushed Harry to sit down and got on my knees in front of him again and this time I forced myself to take more of him into my mouth than I did before.
“Shit Reagan! FUCK!” Harry’s hips bucked slightly off the bed while one of his hands grabbed my shoulder and the other grabbed the edge of the bed so tight that a scar on his knuckle started to reopen. I quickened my pace and ran my tongue around the tip of him before he pulled my head up.
“That’s enough, unless you want me to finish in your mouth?” Harry spoke breathlessly and before I could respond, he hoisted me up onto his lap making me straddle him and turned us so that he sat against the head board. I looked down at him hovering my sex above his length and he provoked me by pushing me down slightly, making his dick press against my clit.
“Mm H. don’t tease!”
“That’s all I can do until you give me a condom Reagan.” Harry licked his lips before looking me up and down as he tilted his hips to tease me again.
“Fuck!” I cursed under my breath causing Harry’s eyes to widen and chuckle slightly to himself. When I rose from his lap I went to my drawer and took out the unopened box and handed it to Harry. He looked at me arrogantly before he mumbled under his breath while opening the box.
“Multi-pack? Someone was a bit over zealous the last time I was here...” I could feel the blush spread on my cheeks at his comment as he found a condom ripped it open and rolled it onto his length.
“Come here.” I when I went to lie down on the bed, Harry grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his lap making me straddle him again. He interlaced his left hand with my right and positioned himself at my opening. I dropped my head down so I could see what he was doing when his right hand grabbed my hip.
“Go ahead then.” Though I know what H. wanted me to do it didn’t make me any less nervous and I found myself looking down at him somewhat timidly. I've never been on top.
“Reagan?” When I looked back up at Harry’s face our gaze met and he pushed himself up burying himself inside of me. A whimper escaped my lips at the same time that Harry moaned and It wasn’t until then that I realized how much I needed this.
Harry’s hand guided my movements as if he sensed my uncertainty about the new position and his fingers tightened on my hip sure to leave tiny crescent fingernail marks as I began to rock and swirl my hips. He met each of my movements with his own and I know that I would be sore in morning, not because it hurt but because he filled me so deeply. Harry grunted, bit his lip, and lazily let his head fall back against the headboard as he looked down to where we were connected with hooded lust filled eyes.
“Ugh fuck!” When he cursed and bit his lip again my confidence in what I was doing to him grew.He's enjoying it and to be truthfully honest I think I am more, despite the burn that it brings to my hips from the workout. I tightened my grip around his hand to steady myself in order for me to pick up my pace and removed my free hand from his shoulder to my chest. When I did, Harry grunted and I could feel his movements get more rugged. I knew he was close and so was I.
“Oh H! I’m gonna come! You got me so close.”
“ Reagan,” Harry moaned my name and then cursed. I could tell that he got more turned on by my vocals so I continued to moan his name, pant curses and whisper dirty nothings in his ear. Before I knew it, Harry changed our positions laying me on my back and hooking both of his arms under my legs as he began to pound into me until we both came within seconds of each other.
Harry removed himself from me and collapsed beside me momentarily with furrowed eyebrows. When I went to move a piece of hair that was sticking to his forehead from sweat, he grabbed my wrist and put it back down on the bed by my side. When he stood from the bed and began to dress himself, I knew that I didn't want him to leave. Even if Channel and Laurie both came up right this minute and saw us, whatever they would have to say would be irrelevant. I don't want him to go, not yet. As he followed the trail of our clothes that led into the living room and put his on piece by piece, I rose from the bed and threw on some sweats.
“Where are you going?” Harry tugged on his jeans and put on his converse before picking up his t-shirt and hoodie to put them on as well.
“Home.” Why is he being so short with me? I could feel myself get aggravated before I spoke.
“What did I do now Harry? I mean I know you’re bipolar but give me a fucking break!” My bitchy side reared her ugly head again and the cold stony look reappeared in Harry’s eyes.
“I just did Reagan, not even five minutes ago! I asked you what you wanted from me, you told me and I gave it to you, again! We're finished now yeah? You got your story and you got one off! It’s not like you really ever wanted anything else from me in the first place!” I could feel tears prick at the back of my eyes and anger rise in the pit of my stomach but before I could say anything, Harry left out of my apartment slamming the door behind him.
Hi guys! So Reagan finally finds out the story behind Harry's confession! What do you think about this chapter? Please please please comment and give me feedback on what you think as I Truly need it, crave it, and live off of it. If you are enjoying the story (I really Hope you are!) then please rate and subscribe, it would bring me such joy. As always Love you for reading!Xx :D