Meant To Be

Penelope sits at home, hiding under a blanket and a tub of popcorn on her lap. She is eight episodes into the fourth season of Parks and Recreation. She hasn’t left her house since she received the news that she was pregnant and it’s been four days. Harry is the only other person who knows; she’s scared to tell anyone else. She keeps looking down at her stomach and rubbing over. Tears start to fall down her cheeks as the tenth realization that day hits her. She is starting to get the morning sickness and her boobs begin the ache. She has to pee for what seems to be every five minutes and her back always hurts.

The knock on the door startles her from her thoughts. She gets up and answers the door, her sister smiles at her. “What do you want?”

“Damn, what’s your problem?”

“I’m not in the best mood right now, Nat. Sorry I’m having a bad day.” Penelope walks away and plops back on the sofa.

“I am here to deliver some food,” Natalie holds up a plastic bag. “And check up on you. I haven’t heard from you in four days. I’m worried, Pen.” She sets the takeout on the table.

“Well I’m alive, you can leave now.”

“What is up with you, Penelope?” Natalie sits next to Penelope.

“Nothing.”

“Penelope.” Natalie says sternly.

“I’m pregnant, okay? Does that answer your damn questions?”

“What?”

“The doctor told me I am pregnant when I went to the hospital. I wasn’t coming down with the flu.”

“Who’s is it?”

“Harry is the father.”

“Oh no, Pen.” Natalie scoots closer and brings Penelope closer to her. “Does Harry know?”

“He was in the room when the doctor told me. It was when you left to call mom.” Penelope’s bottom lip begins the tremble. The crease between her brows deepens and she looks away, not wanting to cry in front of Natalie. “I haven’t heard from him since then.”

“I’m sure he’s just processing this just as much a you are.” Natalie kisses the top of Penelope’s head. Penelope nods but that doesn’t stop her from letting a couple tears fall down her cheeks. A knock at the door startles the both. Natalie gets up and answers the door. “Hey, Sam and Harry.” Natalie looks back to the sofa and Penelope shoots up, running to the door.

“What you doing here?” She says, having to stop herself from sliding into the wall or falling.

“I came here to see if you were okay.” Sam said.

“We need to talk.” Harry said the same time as Sam. Penelope looks at Natalie, her eyes asking her what she should do. Natalie looks at Sam and smiles.

“Sam! Long time no see! You know there’s this one really good taco place that I think you’ll love. Come with me, I’ll show you.” Natalie grabs her purse from the chair and pushes Sam out.

“But Penelope-“

“Oh she’s fine. Come on!” She pulls Sam down the hall, looking back at Penelope and jerks her head to Harry, indicating that she needs to talk to him first.

Penelope gulps and moves out of the way so Harry can enter. He makes his way inside and looks around the small apartment. He smiles, taken back to the times they spent there together. He looks to the fridge and sees pictures of Penelope and her family and friends. He also sees a picture of her and a group of children, making is smile bigger. But then his eyes land on a picture of Penelope and Sam, which makes his frown and turn back to Penelope to see her watching him.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, stuffing his hands in the front pocket of his trousers.
“I’ve had better days.”

“Yeah I understand.” There is an awkward silence between them, something that has never happened. “So have you decided? What you’re going to do?”

“What do you mean?” She asks, frowning in confusion.

“Are you going to keep the baby?”

“Oh, I didn’t even think about it.”

“How can you not think about it? Shouldn’t that be your first thought.”

“I was more preoccupied with that fact that I’m pregnant in the first place. I’m sorry if getting an abortion wasn’t the first thing in my mind.” Penelope retaliates. She sighs and her hand lands on her stomach, rubbing it gently; she can’t seem to stop touching her stomach since she found out. “I don’t want to get rid of it, Harry. And I know you might not want to be part of it, but I-“

“What?”

“I just kinda figured you didn’t want a baby.”

“Are you kidding me? The entire time we dated, I told you how much I want kids. This is my chance, Penelope. I didn’t know if you wanted the baby.”

“You want this baby?”

“Of course I do. How could I not?”

“Well we aren’t necessarily the two best people to have a baby right now, Harry.”

“Why not? You’re amazing with kids and I can support it financially.”

“We aren’t together.”

“So lets be together!” Harry sighs and moves closer to Penelope, cupping her face. “Didn’t you feel something when we reconnected, those old feelings being brought back. Because I sure as hell did.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes it is. I mean what’s better than a child having their parents actually together?”

“I still love Sam.” The smile on Harry’s face drops and his hands fall from her face. “I’m sorry Harry. But I do still love him. He was there for me when I needed him and I can’t just throw that away just because I’m pregnant. Besides, we gave us a chance and it didn’t work out.”

“That’s not what I saw. I saw two people who loved each other, who still love each other. I mean you can’t just throw out six months of what we had. You were my first love, I can’t let that just go.” He sighs. “I mean we dated three years ago and now… we’re here? Doesn’t this all feel kinda meant to be?” Penelope looks down at the floor, eyes widening. She ponders over the question, wondering if it is meant to be.

“I can’t just leave him, Harry.”

“Why not?”

“Because I never expected you back into my life and now that you’re here,” Penelope pauses and holds back her tears. “It’s hard to walk from you, it really is but I want to be with Sam. He is who I see spending my life with.”

It’s right then and there where Penelope breaks his heart. Hearing her say that she sees herself with someone else and not him shatters every piece of hope he ever had of them being together again. Not a day went by the last three years where Harry didn’t think of Penelope. He loved her, he still does and he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop loving her. But he knows now, that he has to let her go, as hard a it maybe.

“I hope you are happy with him. But I don’t want to give up on this baby. I want this baby.” He gives her a small, sad smile. At this point, Natalie and Sam enters the apartment. “I should go. You two have a lot to talk about.” Harry smiles at Natalie before he leaves. Penelope hurts to see him go but she knows that she has to talk to Sam.

So that’s where she currently is, telling Sam about everything. Well not everything, she decides to leave out the details of her and Harry’s time together for obvious reasons. But when she tells him that she’s pregnant with his baby, that’s when he starts getting angry.

“Pregnant?!” He yells standing up and starting to pace in front of Penelope.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that it would happen.”

“You didn’t think that when two people sleep together that it doesn’t lead to a baby?!”

“I was still heart broken over you and he was just there!” Tears are rolling down her face by now.

“So it’s my fault that you slept with him?”

“No! It’s not your fault. I don’t want him though, I want you!”

“I don’t want this baby, Penelope.”

“But I do.” She stands up and holds his hands in hers. “I don’t expect you to be okay with everything and you have every right to be angry, but I still love you and I want to be with you. Being pregnant and Harry doesn’t change that. At the end of the day, you’re the one I want.”

“I need time to think about this.”

“Of course. I will give you whatever time you need. I just want you to know that I am not giving up on us."

Notes