*3 1/2 years ago*

Luke’s P.O.V.

The boys and I were in L.A. for the second album. I’ve moved out here and things with Riley have been tough. We’ve never lived more than 10 feet from one another. She comes out as often as possible, but she’ll fall behind in classes if she just stays.
“Club tonight?” Ashton asked, I nodded focused in thought.
I changed after finishing up “Safety Pin.”
--
The boys and I pulled up to the club and all strolled inside. I grabbed a soda and took a seat in a booth.
“Would you like to dance?” a beautiful girl with long black hair asked.
“I- uh- I probably shouldn’t. I have a girlfriend.”
“I don’t see her. C’mon.” she held her hand out to follow.
I took her hand and followed her to the dance floor.
“Arzaylea.” she smiled.
“Luke.” I replied.
She and I danced all night. When she stepped away Ashton came over. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“What about Riley?”
“I’m just dancing Ash, don’t worry.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.” He replied, before walking away.
Arzaylea walked back up to me. “Do you want to get out of here?” she smiled flirtatiously.
I took her hand and followed her out of the club.

*6 months after the club*

Riley and I are completely falling apart. She almost never comes out, and we’re about to tour, so I may not see or hear from her for awhile.
“Uh, Luke.” Michael came in.
“Yeah?”
“Have you seen this?” he showed me a video of myself on the phone while Arzaylea filmed me.
“Shit.” I spat, running out of the studio and back to my flat.
“What the hell are you doing posting those things? Riley will see!”
“So? We’re kind of together, Luke. We live together. We have a dog together.”
“I’m with her.” I growled.
“That’s not what you’ve been saying in my bed every night.”
“Just back off, please?”
“Whatever.” she scowled, before grabbing her bag and leaving.
R: So who’s the girl laughing in the video?
I chose to politely ignore the text.

*6 months later*

I woke up to an empty tent. “Arz?” I asked as if she would be there. I checked my phone to see if she had text me. Nothing. I began scrolling Instagram to find she posted a picture in an outfit worn by one of yesterday’s celebrities. My heart broke, then I thought to myself. Is this how Riley feels everytime she sees something in the media of Arzaylea and I? I threw my phone and quickly gathered my things. Arzaylea came stumbling in as I was leaving.
“Where are you going?”
“You cheated on me!” I yelled.
“You can’t cheat on someone that isn’t yours. You’re the only cheater in this room.”
“You disgust me.” I growled, pushing past her.
The first person I want to call was Riley, but how do you tell the girl you love that you’re a scumbag who’s been cheating on her for a year, and it’s not even her fault. Arzaylea is right, I am disgusting. I went into Ashton’s tent crying.
“Mate?” he asked.
I was speechless; all I could do was cry. When I finally calmed down, we went to a hotel and I called Riley. “Riley... It’s Luke... Please call me.” I sighed in the voicemail.
“Luke.” I heard from behind me.
“Riley.”
“I hope this is better than the phone call.” she half smiled.
“Much. I need to talk to you.”
“Oh?”
“I-- I don’t know how to say this.”
“Say what?”
“The stuff you’ve seen in the media... About Arzaylea and I...”
“It’s true isn’t it?” she choked up.
“It-- yeah.”
She nodded as if taking in all the things I told her weren’t true, that I just said were really true.
“Do you want her?” She asked, my heart broke for both of us.
“No. She is so toxic and-- she’s not you.”
“So why’d you do it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Luke...”
“Riley, I wish I had some sort of explanation, but I don’t. I regret it all. I do. I--”
“I get it Luke.” she sternly interrupted.
“You knew the whole time... Didn’t you?”
She nodded. “Yeah..” Her eyes were welling with tears, but I knew she was holding back. “How long?”
“What?”
“How long has it been going on?”
“A while...”
“Luke.”
“Almost a year.”
“Ha.” she broke. The tears rolled down her face and she was hysterical. “Give me one good reason to stay with you.” she cried.
“I-- can’t.” I sobbed.
Riley stayed with me though. All night. She comforted me, even though I didn’t deserve any sympathy. I ruined the best thing to ever happen to me.

*6 months later*

Riley broke it off for real this time. After I left the airport, I picked up my phone. “Arz?”
I knew I’d regret it later, but it was comfortable. I flew back to L.A. the next morning and stayed with her. It was awkward for me to go back to the flat we shared, but to be in her own was even more weird. I felt disgusting again. I fled.

*Present day*

“She wrote me several times and there were one night stands here and there, but then she got this new boyfriend and became someone new. She still disgusts me, and I still hate myself for everything. I got to keep the dog, and she got to keep her fame. That’s everything... Well that you didn't see in the media.” I sighed, hoping RIley didn’t hate me. Her head was resting on my shoulder as the tears streamed down her face.
“Were there others?”
“Other girls?”
“Yeah... A few... I hit a really low point in life when you stopped coming around. I started drugs because of her and things all blurred together.” I replied, she nodded slightly. “Please say something.”
“I don’t know what to say, Luke.”
“Say this doesn’t end things all over again.”
“I can’t say that...”
“Riley..”
“Luke.”
My heart ached at her words. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes as she slowly got up and walked away. I couldn’t let her walk away.

Notes