For Your Eyes Only

After a night of crying my heart out after telling Niall I didn’t love him it was time for my first recording session. Walking out of my office Jade looked up at me with sad eyes this was the first time I have seen her since last night.
“Jade I am so sorry for last night I don’t remember much but I am so sorry”
“It’s ok lets go back in your office for a minute ok”
I nodded and walked back in to my office as soon as the door was close I just fell in to her arms and began to cry again.
“Shhh it’s ok Livy let it all out and tell me what happened”
“I know who I love”
“Love? Who is it Livy?”
“...Ni...Niall I lost it with that whore who he slept with and I just knew it was him”
“That’s great tell him and you can be together”
“I can’t”
“Look Harry will understand ok”
“No I mean he asked me last night when he found me”
“Who?”
“Niall, he found me last night and asked me if I loved him and I said no”
“You said No...Why did you say no?”
“He needs to move on, he deserves so much better than me”
“Don’t ever put yourself down Livy”
“I’m sorry I just....Jade”
“Yeah”
“I love you thank you so much for being my best friend”
“Actually we are sisters remember and no problem now do I get to come to this first recording I really like the look of that Aaron”
“Jade you are dating Liam who is my brother remember”
“Yeah...Yeah I can look”
“Shit”
“What”
“Aaron...oh shit I completely forgot”
“Forgot what....Livy talk to me you’ve gone all pale”
“I slept with him after the club and then he said I was his now”
“What as in his girlfriend”
“No...I don’t know....no one is allowed to know so please don’t say anything not even to Liam please”
“I promise on one condition though”
“Fine what is it”
“You tell me everything that happens ok”
“Ok....right I guess we should go on down”
“Yeah you ready”
“I think so”
“I’m so proud of you doing your first recording, your dad did phone to say good luck him and Karen are round Fred’s again but he will be back to work tomorrow”
“Great let’s go”
“Oh one minute”
She stopped me and moved her finger up to my eye wiping away the mascara that obviously smudged as I was crying.
“Thank you”
“You’re welcome... now let’s get going”
Walking out of my office me and Jade just fell in to a normal conversation, as we got down to the corridor of all the booths I saw Liam and Niall standing outside a room. I looked over and saw Niall crying and instantly my heart broke, Jade looked to me and back over to Liam and Niall and knew exactly what was going on.
“You should tell him the truth”
“I can’t”
Looking away I walked in to the booth but Jade didn’t follow I just hope she doesn’t say anything to Niall and Liam. I soon had to push those thoughts out of my head as a body crashed on top of mine followed by a high pitch screech.
“OLIVIA ARE YOU AS EXCITED AS I AM”
“Yeah totally”
“Hmm not convinced anyway we’re all ready to go aren’t we Aaron”
“We are indeed, how are you today Olivia?”
“Good very good you?”
“Same, now if you would like to go in the booth first Ruby and Olivia come sit with me, I know you know how to work the desk so I thought you could help Leo here with it”
“Of course, Hi Leo”
“Nice to meet you Olivia, great set up you studio has”
“Why thank you we like to supply the best here”
I saw Aaron tense up slightly as me and Leo got along but I ignored he had no right to be jealous in any sort of way. Ruby was singing and me and Leo messed around until we found the right sound it was actually going really well. Then it was my turn to sing I was nervous but I was put at ease when Jade walked in, giving me a little smile I wanted to ask her loads of questions but I knew that would have to wait. She sat down next to Leo and helped out whilst Aaron and Ruby just watched me, placing the headphones on I head Jades voice through the mic telling me they were ready. The track started and I started to sing my lines, it was such a buzz singing and knowing this was actually going to be a track. A few more times and we were done for the day, tomorrow we would be doing the harmonies and then surprisingly the track would be done.
“That was so great I will see you tomorrow Olivia and Jade you best be here tomorrow to”
“Of course I will be Ruby see ya”
“Yeah see ya Ruby”
Leo shortly left as well and then it was me Aaron and Jade, there was a little bit of tension but Jade soon left heading back up to my office leaving me and Aaron.
“So Olivia that was a good session today”
“Thank you, I best be getting back to my office I will see you tomorrow Aaron”
“Oh no no not so fast there Olivia”
“Ok...what’s up?”
I turned around from the door to be pulled in to Aarons arms he tilted my head up and his lips crashed on to mine. The kiss was very fast paste and hard but I couldn’t pull away I kind of liked it, to me it made it meaningless something I have missed. As we pulled apart a smile took over his face, moving a piece of hair from my face and behind my ear he placed a kiss on my forehead before leaning in to whisper something in my ear.
“My place tonight 8pm don’t be late”
I didn’t even have time to reply he just walked out of the room leaving me there all confused. I soon got myself together and left the booth heading up to my office seeing Jade in my office talking to Liam, Zayn, Louis, Niall and Harry. I walked on in before I could say anything or they could the office phone began to ring save by the bell. I took the phone call unfortunately it didn’t take long so now as I took my seat I was faced with five...well four looking at me and one with his head down.
“So sis as we leave Monday dad is letting you off from tomorrow so we have Friday right through to Monday with you”
“Great ok”
“So not tonight but tomorrow night we are going out for a meal and drinks Saturday we are having a house party and Sunday is recovery day so films and take out sound good”
“Sounds perfect...”
“Great so we will see when you get home”
“Yeah see ya”
They all walked out I was confused to why they were all there anyway, but as soon as they left the door was shut and Jade came running over to me.
“What did Aaron want?”
“Well he wants me at his tonight at 8”
“You going to go?”
“Yeah I intrigued to see what he has planned”
“Ok but you”
“I know tell you if anything happens, now you before I went in to record you walked off to Liam and Niall what did you say?”
“Nothing”
“Jade you are full of shit tell me”
“Ok so I wanted to know what was happening and Niall was upset over you and I was going to say something but Harry walked out”
“Oh right and?”
“Well Harry said that they both needed to move on and to do that Harry has a date tonight and now so does Niall...I’m sorry Livy”
“No...No it’s what I wanted them to do I just...oh shit this sucks”
I couldn’t keep it in any longer I fell to the ground in tears my heart was completely broken. This is what I wanted to prevent from ever happening, I knew what I had to do cut off all emotion again I cannot and will not fall for another guy ever again. As I was crying Jade was hugging me trying to calm me down, I wiped my eyes and just sat up and looked at Jade.
“No Livy I know that look”
“What look?”
“I’m not stupid Livy don’t block out the emotion not again please you were doing so well, come on you opened up you got back in to music singing and writing. Please don’t just shut off again please”
“Jade it’s the only way I won’t get hurt...”
I got up grabbed my keys and walked out of my office as I got to the car park Liam, Niall and Harry were standing all standing there and looked over when they heard Jade shouting after me. Liam noticed how blotchy my face was and walked on over and surprisingly so did Niall and Harry.
“Sis what’s wrong”
“Nothing”
“Livy don’t do this”
“Jade stop I will see you later”
“Please Livy”
I looked up to see everyone looking between me and Jade trying to work out what was going on. I just dropped my head and jumped in to my car I knew where I was heading I just hope they don’t follow. Turning my phone off I arrived at my mother’s grave, taking a seat I let all my tears go once again.
“I’ve let you down mum I am so sorry, I tried to let people in I really did. I think I have found the person I truly loved the one person I wanted to be for his eyes only but I fucked up”
Wiping the tears away I began to move the dead leaves from her grave stone. I noticed I was still shaking taking in a deep breath I calmed myself down, it was times like these I really wanted her to be here to give me advise.
“I miss you so much, I’m recording right now though with an artist called Ruby it’s going well. I don’t think I will be able to do anything else though I just and don’t be angry but I just decided to shut everyone out again it is so much easier this way. Please don’t be disappointed I have tried and I won’t give up with the studio I just won’t do anything for myself music wise”
I know I was talking to myself but it felt so much better this way, there was no one to change my mind or interrupt me. I turned my phone on to see it was now 18:30, shit I needed to get home I have my date with Aaron tonight. Well I doubt I could even call it that but none the less I kissed my mum’s grave stone goodbye and headed on home. All the cars were here so I had to try my best to dodge everyone, luckily I got to my room but it didn’t last long as there was now a knock on my door.
“Go away I’m getting ready”
Nothing was said the door just opened and in walked Jade looking all upset and worried I hated seeing her like this but I have made up my mind.
“Look I know you have decided but just you promised if anything happens”
“I will tell you...why are you so worried about Aaron”
“Just the way he looked at you today and what he said he seems the controlling and possessive type”
“Ok...well I will tell you...I’m sorry for this Jade but I just feel”
“I know that’s how you feel, I shouldn’t have told you about the date’s I’m sorry”
“No I’m glad you told me I needed to know...anyway I must get ready I can’t be late”
We hugged it out and she soon left I got changed in to a pair of jean shorts, crop top and some wedged heeled high tops. I walked out of my room and down the stairs to see Leah at the bottom I haven’t see much of her lately but there she was today talking to Karen.
“Olivia not going to give me a hug I haven’t seen you in weeks”
“I am Leah where have you been”
“Just took some time off you look nice were you going”
“Just out...must go can’t be late”
As I walked out Niall and Harry were on the porch dressed up in jeans and shirt I just knew straight away they were off to go on their dates. My heart dropped and broke even more keeping in my tears I managed to force a smile.
“Off out Olivia”
“Yeah Harry...you two have a good night...”
I just bolted away from them in to my car needing to get away this was harder than thought. Niall didn’t even take any notice of my presence that was what hurt the most I looked at the time it was 8:10 shit I was late. Turning up at Aarons it was now 8:20 getting out of my car I knocked on his door and a very angry Aaron opened up.
“Hi I am so sorry I am late really I am”
He didn’t say anything instead he pulled me in closed the door behind him and then slapped my leg with all the force he could.
“Oww AARON What the Fuck”
“I told you not to be late”
He looked me in to my eyes and I was scared, I didn’t want to be here but I had no choice now he took my wrist and pulled me upstairs to his room.
“Aaron I don’t want sex yet can we watch a film”
His hand collided with my face making me collapse to the ground. I didn’t want sex but it didn’t matter what I wanted he tore my clothes off and hit me if I didn’t at least faked that I was enjoying this.
“Please Stop this is FUCKING Rape Aaron”
He stopped and I knew I was in for it, he pulled out of me and punched me in the stomach. Screaming out in pain he just put his hand over my mouth and went back inside of me. After a few hours he was asleep next to me, this was my chance to go. I got my stuff, got dressed and ran out to my car thankfully he didn’t wake up. I got home quickly and walked in just as Niall and Harry had got home. They noticed my car and left the door open I didn’t follow though I looked down I was covered in bruises my face was puffy from the tears and hits. They couldn’t see me like this, I looked around my car and found a jumper it would cover my top half were most of the bruises were. Getting out of my car I left my head down and tried to cover my legs walking in to my house luckily Harry and Niall didn’t wait for me. I looked up and closed the door running up the stairs just as I was about to go in my room I hear my name being called.
“How did it go Livy?”
“Yeah went good Jade I’m just”
“Wait why are you wearing a jumper?”
“I was cold”
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“No reason, I’m just tired”
“Livy, turn around”
“No”
“Livy”
“Please just drop it”
I went to walk in to my room but she was closer than I thought grabbing my arm sending a pain throughout my arm.
“Oww”
“Oh my god Livy”iHi

Notes