Crossroads

I sat on top of the kitchen island, the cup of warm milk having grown cold and frothy in my palms as my eyelids struggled to stay open .

I'd hardly gotten four hours of sleep the night before and in my state of restlessness, decided to get a head start on my orders for the day. At first I'd been eager and buoyant, humming along to a few throwback tunes on the kitchen radio to keep myself occupied but I I quickly ran out of steam and was trying my best not to lose my beautiful lemon meurigne pie to the battle of sleep.

I shifted my weight, trying to find a comfortable position to accommodate my protruding belly before closing my eyes once more. It wouldn't hurt to have a small cat nap. I didn't care if the pie was a little brown. I just wanted to have a bit of sleep.

"Riv,"

My eyes immediately snap open at the familiar drawl and the weight of his hands resting on my shoulders.

"The pie!" I gasp. " It's ruined! It's gone. I ruined it."

The tears sting my eyes and Harry chuckles lowly, giving my shoulders a squeeze.

"I'm sorry, darling. Didn't mean to scare ya. The pie's perfect as usual."

He makes his way around the kitchen island, making a beeline for the coffee maker. I can't help but notice the freshly starched button up he's wearing, having yet to fasten the first few buttons and the neck tie draped over his shoulder that's waiting to sit around his neck. He always looks so good when he's headed off to he office but I can hardly appreciate it knowing the place he's headed is playing such a major role is drifting us apart.

He fills a plain white mug, skipping the milk and sugar before planting himself in front of me, a sleepy smirk on his lips.

"You're up early."

I yawn as he gently pries the mug of curdled milk out of my hands and places it in the sink before turning back to me.

"Couldn't sleep. I had a strange dream and these leg cramps don't help either."

I'd tossed and turned all night, trying to find a position that was comfortable and wouldn't harm my little artichoke and my brain couldn't seem to rest- a million and one recipes and problems dancing around my head.

The corner of his lips turn into a slow dimpled grin and he places a hand on the swell of my stomach.

"Giving Mumma trouble, huh?"

I grin as he gently strokes my bump under my nightgown, the grin never once leaving him. As much as he tried to contain it, it was obvious that Harry was head over heels for the little bean. As I watched it grow I often wondered myself how one could become so fond of something that was hardly even a human yet.

"They don't mean any harm. Just doing what they're supposed to do." I reply, resting my hands against my belly.

He brushes my bed tangled hair out of my face, pressing a chaste kiss to my forehead before turning his attention to the mess I'd managed to make with food prep. Peering into the mixing bowl, he swipes a finger against the rim and scoops up a dollop of meringue. My cheeks burn and my breath feels suspended in my throat as his finger glides between his plump pink lips, a short hum of satisfaction escaping him.

If I weren't so tired I'd probably take him right in this kitchen - FDA regulations aside.

I draw in a deep breath, closing my eyes and hoping to push the obscene thoughts out of my head. I had things to do and goals to meet that were much more important than my raging hormones.

Harry flashes a grin that tells me he knows exactly what he's doing and I'm not sure if I should be amused or annoyed at how unusually playful he is this morning.

"You should drink plenty of water," he drawls as if unaware of the sexual tension he's created. "it'll help with those cramps.

A short huff escapes me. This is not the time for him to be a know-it-all.

"I'll try,"

I bite down on my bottom lip in disappointment as his eyes shift to the clock, knowing what comes next.

"I've gotta get going, babe. Stay hydrated."

Harry leans down to kiss me, the taste of meringue lingering on his lips. I surprise myself, letting out a muffled moan. My fingers reach for his hair most likely making a mess out of the curls he'd worked to tame into place. He smirks against my lips before gently pulling away.

"Don't start something you can't finish, darling."

I bite the corner of my swollen lip, my cheeks burning a sheepish tint.

"I'm really excited about our date night," I speak, the reminder suddenly flashing in my mind.
"I've got a new recipe I want to try out. Sorry, no toad-in-the-hole pies this time. I can't stand the smell of sausage."

Harry sloppily fastens the tie around his neck.

"How about I just call us in a reservation somewhere? You're always cooking somethin'. You deserve to have someone cook for you for a change."

As much as I'd hoped for an intimate night in, going out didn't sound too bad either.

I shift my weight against the island, the aching in my back a reminder that I shouldn't be sitting on such an uncomfortable surface in my position.

"I trust you'll find us a nice place. And I've got to get a new dress," I place a hand on my protruding stomach, chuckling at the realization. "my belly's outgrown everything else I own."
A slow dimpled grin appears on his lips.

"You know you could wear a potato sack and I'd still think you were lovely. Listen, I've really gotta go, babe."

One last kiss and he's off to do what he does best. When I'd usually feel annoyed or disappointed at him rushing off to work, I find myself bubbling with optimism. Our bashful flirting, hurried kisses and the promise of date night makes the long, tiring week ahead seem much more beareable.

I grin to myself, the fierce blush of my cheeks having yet to settle down. No matter how much we fuss and fight and how close I feel to giving up, I still find myself just as smitten with Harry as I was in the very beginning. The butterflies had yet to leave my stomach and I often wonder if he feels the same.

I can hardly torture myself with the contemplation when the smell of singeing pie crust snaps me out of my trance.
******
I swallowed the last bit of leftover chicken salad as I shut off the engine.

I was lucky to have gotten in a quick brunch just before my first food run. Beyond the Volo in front of me, I could spot bright balloons attached to a robin's egg blue mailbox, indicating some sort of celebration. I sighed in relief, the last thing I needed was to burst into tears at the front door of another grieving family.

A couple of cars sat in front of the garage. This was either a really intimate celebration or I'd arrived long before the party was set to start. Either way didn't matter. I was hoping to get in and out so that I could squeeze in a quick nap before my two o'clock delivery.

I stifled a yawn as I shrugged out of my seatbelt. I 'd barely stepped out of the Rover before a wave of heat greeted me, causing a light moister to form between my thighs. Foolishly, I'd chosen to wear my hair down today, not giving the humidity a passing thought.

Balancing the trays of egg salad sandwiches to my hip was a bit of a challenge with my bump as I approached the front door. It matched the color of the mail box, a monogram style 'C' hanging from a nail right under the peephole. Ringing the doorbell, I distracted myself from giving into my overactive bladder with the thought of a pedicure and a back massage.

After this long week I certainly deserved to treat myself.

The door swings open and I'm met with a those big brown eyes I hadn't seen in nearly a week.

"River! What a surprise!" Hannah squeals.

The feeling of fatigue manages to leave me and I find myself puzzled yet somewhat amused at the sight of Hannah. The person who'd requested the order over the phone certainly wasn't her. I knew that sugary- sweet Southern drawl anywhere. Plus Hannah knew what my job was. I'd mentioned it once or twice in awkward conversation but she'd never once inquired about my services.

"Hey, Hannah," I smile. "it's nice to see you."

Seeing Hannah outside of pilaties feels somewhat strange. She's wearing a brightly colored tropical print dress that's most likely a Lily Pultlzer and her medium length bob has been intricately curled, a hint of pink tints her cheeks that perfectly matches her lips. I'd never seen her in anything more than a t-shirt and yoga pants. She looks beautiful.

"I missed you in class yesterday. Guess I know what you've been up to," she grins before setting her sights on my bump. "And look at you! You're all belly. You've grown since the last time I saw you!"

I laugh.

"This little bean is certainly keeping me busy. Do you live here?" I question.

She shakes her head.

"No, this is my friend Brooke's home. She the one that ordered the sandwiches. Her little boy's turning two today and us grown-ups have to eat too. You should come in! I'd like you to meet everyone and I know you must be dying in this heat."

I stiffen at the thought of meeting Hannah's friends. Hannah's bubbly sorority girl personality was hardly my speed. I could only imagine her friends were like- Hannah on Red Bull with even brighter Lily Pulitzler ensembles.

I bite the corner of my lip.

"Sure, " I reply hoping to hide my hesitancy. "I can come in for a bit. "

Her big brown eyes grow wide with glee.

"Great! It'll make this party so much better!"

I struggle a bit as I mount the threshold, immediately noticing the glossy hardwood floors. The house smells heavily of lavender and laughter drifts into the foyer.

"So, have you felt any kicks yet?" Hannah suddenly asks whist walking ahead of me.

The house is dimly lit but her dress still manages to burst with color.

"Not yet. I think they're a bit shy."

At eighteen weeks it was expected to feel some real kicks from Baby Styles but there'd been complete radio silence for most of the week. I was trying not to grow worried.

She giggles.

"Give him by the end of the week. I bet he'll never stop moving."

My eyebrows furrow in curiosity at the choice of her pronouns. She was so sure it was a boy while I was still waiting to find out.

She came to a halt in the entrance of the kitchen. The appliances were modern but the decor was very vibrant. The mixed-matched hand towels and curtains give it a quirky, lived-in vibe that I wish my kitchen had. Harry was a big fan of the monochromatic aesthetic and the inside of our home greatly reflected that. Maybe having a baby around would bring a little bit of color into the home.

Two women sat at the small kitchen table chatting amongst themselves with glasses of lemonade. They were so entranced in their conversation the hardly noticed our presence.

"Hey, where's Brooke?" Hannah questions causing the two women to quiet down.

Their gaze immediately falls on the two of us and I can't help but feel self-conscious.

"She stepped outside for a minuet." A woman with glossy black hair and nearly flawless caramel skin speaks.

"Is the rest of the food here yet?" the other woman, a blue eyed brunette with a generous amount of freckles speaks. " I'm withering away here."

Hannah giggles and I find myself surprised that both of her friends had managed to speak without squealing.

"Just arrived. There's someone I want ya'll to meet. This is River, River meet Frida and Jess."

I wave shyly.

"Nice to meet you all. I don't mean to be a bother. I'm just catering the sandwiches."

"Oh don't be silly, River." Hannah chides, prying the tray of sandwiches from my arms. " Stay and have a glass of lemonade. Your feet must be killing you."

My ankles were only in the beginning stages of swelling and hardly looked swollen but the pressure I felt standing on my feet was undeniable. Jess, the freckled brunette pulls out a chair for me, a slow smile spreading across her lips at the sight of my bump.

"So, " Frida begins. "how do you and Hannah know each other?"

I settle into the chair with a sigh of relief, drawing in a deep breath before speaking.

"We take pilaties together." I reply simply.

Frida nods, going back to her lemonade before Jess turns to me.

"That must be hard with your baby bump and all. Good for you, though. When I was pregnant with Dixie I ate nearly everything and the kitchen sink. I even ate laundry soap."

I tried to control my facial expressions but I knew I'd failed when Jess' blue eyes widened. I'd heard about women who had cravings for things that were inedible and I was thankful I wasn't one of them.

"My baby came out really healthy, though! Too healthy. She was twelve pounds! Had to get a c-section. There's no way my tiny little frame could push out that butterball."

I chew the corner of my lip trying hard not to imagine what it'd be like to carry a baby that big to full term. I was only in the second trimester but all these stories about labor were creeping me out.

"I'm just trying to stay active," I speak, quickly changing the subject. " I'm thankful for the modifications. So how did you and Hannah meet?"

Upon the mention of her name, Hannah places a tall glass of lemonade in front of me before going to join us at the table.

"We were all in lamaze together." she interrupts. "There's something about making friends at such a vulnerable time in your life that makes it so painfully beautiful. Two years later and we're still friends."

I take a sip of lemonade, pondering her words. I hadn't found myself marveling at the beauty of life like other pregnant women. I wanted to be like them.

"So, what's your birth option?" Frida ask.

I chew the corner of my lip.

"I think I've settled on lamaze," I reply although I still hadn't made a final decision.

Hannah had already seen how out of sorts and unprepared I was for my pregnancy. The last thing I wanted was for her friends to pick up on my negligence.

"Great!" Hannah squeals. "Better sign up quick. Those classes fill up fast."

"What classes?"

The glass door of the kitchen glides shut as a new voice pipes up. A pretty honey-blonde appears wearing a t-shirt dress and a frazzled expression on her face. I can only assume this is Brooke.

"River, this is Brooke. Brooke, meet River. She's a good friend of mine and she catered the sandwiches." Hannah replies.

I blink in surprise at her reference to me as a good friend.

"Shit," Brooke curses. "I knew there was something else I was supposed to do. I need to write your check! "

She rushes over to the stove, furiously digging through a drawer.

"Oooh! What a fine first meeting! I'm so sorry I'm a hot mess. The bakery made the wrong cake and the jump castle hasn't arrived yet! I should have planned all this earlier."

I suddenly feel awkward and regret coming inside at all.

"It's okay," I speak, wincing at the pain in my legs as I rise from my seat. "I should get going anyways."

"Oooh! I don't want you to rush off on account of me," Brooke frowns. "let me get my pocketbook before you leave."

She rushes out of the room in frazzled haze.

"It was nice meeting you all."

Frida and Jess give their congratulations on my bump as Hannah stands to her feet.

"I can walk you out," she speaks.

I hold back a sigh. Ever since I've started noticeably showing people seem to treat me as if I'm made out of glass. I expected this behavior from Harry but I wasn't quite used to it from others.

"I'm fine, Hannah. Honestly. You don't have to go out of your way to accommodate me."
She giggles.

"You're just like me when I was pregnant. I'm expecting my husband to drop by with Bristol any minuet now so I promise I'm not making a fuss over you."

I flash a smile, happy she understands. Brooke manages to flag us down on the way out the door, shoving the check in my hands before politely rushing back into the house. At the sight of few new cars in the driveway I suddenly draw a blank on which one is mine.

Forgetting things was not my favorite part of pregnancy.

"Your friends are really nice," I speak whilst forging through my purse in search of my keys.

"They're all real sweethearts." She smile, balancing on the balls of her feet. "You should come over sometime. We do Sunday potlucks once a months and book clubs on Thursdays. You could even bring your husband if you want."

I try not chuckle at the idea of Harry participating in a book club. He didn't have much interest beyond numbers and executive meetings. He used to be fun but I suppose that ended when his career started.

Finally finding my keys, I discretely mash the panic button, the headlights and alarm flashing in sync.

"Oops,"

Hannah giggles.

"I used to do that too. Always forgot where I parked. "

Hannah wouldn't strike many as the observant type but she I'd underestimated her.

"Let me know how the sandwiches were." I speak with a sheepish grin whist strolling over to the vehicle.

"Will do." she grins. " Hang in there, okay?"

With a final wave I settle into the driver's seat, adjusting my seat belt under my belly. As I turn the key, the engine sputters and stalls. Hannah stands on the pavement, watching in curiosity and my stomach knots with embarrassment. This is the last thing I need.

I turn the key once more and the engine lets out an awful sound.

"Shit." I curse, banging my hand against the steering wheel.

I can feel the tears stinging the corner of my eyes as I wiggle out of my seatbelt but I promise myself I won't breakdown.

"It's not starting?" Hannah questions.

I slam the door with a huff.

"I don't know. This is not good. I have a pie to deliver at two."

I try to maintain my composure but I can already feel the lump in my throat and the quiver in my voice. Hannah's big brown eyes widen and a small smile settles on her lips.

"No worries. You can come inside and put your pie in the fridge and I'll see if my hubby can give you a jump."

I let out a deep sigh.

"Hannah, no. You all are having a party and I'll just be a nuisance. I've already intruded enough."

Although the she maintains the smile something about Hannah's expression seems annoyed.

"River, will you stop saying that?! You could never be a nuisance. This party doesn't start until another hour. You're going to take that pie and go inside and have more lemonade, okay?"

This was probably about the most frustrated Hannah was capable of getting.

"Fine. But as soon as my car gets started again I'm leaving."

I'd managed to calm down a bit once I put my feet up and cooled down. I watched as Hannah's little girl bopped around the living room in a monogrammed Lily Pulitzer ensemble identical to her mother's. Everyone, including myself oogled at how incredibly adorable she was. It made me wonder what having a little girl would be like.

"Need anything else, River?" Hannah drawls.

I shake my head, placing a hand on my stomach.

"No more lemonade, please. I'll pee myself if I don't stop."

She smiles.

"Let me take your glass, then."

Her hand reaches for it but I quickly snatch it out of her grasp.

"Let me, you've done enough." I reply.

"You're as stubborn as an ox," she laughs before going to sit next to me.

I giggle.

"I know. My mom tells me, my husband tells me- except he calls it 'bloody minded' ".

"He's a Brit then?"

I don't know why her question makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I wasn't used to discussing Harry with other people.

"Yeah. He's from Manchester to be exact but we met in New York while I in culinary school."

"Aww," she squeals. "a cross-continental baby! That hardly happens around this town."

When ever I did reveal to people Harry's nationality it was always met with excitement and questions about his accent. I'd been like that in the beginning too but after being together for so long the novelty had worn off.

"Hey babe,"

Hannah snaps her head in the direction of her husband's voice, smiling widely.

"Hey, sugar. Did you get it started yet?" she ask, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

He turns to me, his strawberry blonde eyebrows settled in a deep furrow. I can see the blackness of his fingers. Who knew my engine was that dirty.

"I've called a tow." he replies slowly. " your battery's dead."

The corner of my lips turn down into a deep frown and I take a deep breath before letting out a laugh although nothing is funny at all.

"Well I guess the universe says no pie today. If you'll excuse me, I need to step outside and make a call."

I choke back my tears as I stand to my feet, gripping my mobile in my hands. I search for Harry's contact before slipping out the glass door that leads to the backyard. Studying the unfinished decorations, I wait for the dial tone.

"Babe?" his deep voice drawls.

"Harry, honey." I speak trying hard to control the tremor in my voice. "Are you on break?"

There a few muffled voices in the background and I'm not sure if he can hear me.

"Not yet. Why?"

I bite the corner of my lip, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm stranded. My battery's dead and I've got a pie to deliver at two. I was wondering if you could pick me up and let me borrow your car? I can drop you back off at the firm and pick you up when you get out of the office."

There's a long pause on the other end and I resist the urge to roll my eyes preparing for the worse.

"River, I have meetings this afternoon," he sighs. "I can't just drop everything."

I can feel myself reaching my emotional threshold and I take in a deep breath, trying not to blow a fuse.

"Did you not hear me? I'm stranded, I'm running on four hours of sleep and I'm just trying to get my job done. Does that not mean anything to you, Harry?" I seeth.

Suddenly the excitement of this morning feels stupid and futile. How much longer am I going to keep fooling myself into think Harry holds me above his job?

"Darling," he speaks slowly as if trying to extinguish the flames he knows he's started. "don't be upset. It's not good for the baby."

I scoff, absentmidely placing a hand against my bump.

"Oh, please. Please don't tell me to calm down like you actually give a damn."

"River, this conversation has no place in my office. Text me the address and I'll call you a car."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Prespiration brims on my forehead and I feel so exhausted and angry I could pass out.

"That's all you can say? Just call me a car like I'm one of your clients and not your pregnant wife? Harry, I-"

I can hardly finish my sentence before the line disconnects. As shocking as his rude behavior should be, I haven't got the energy to be surprised. I can't quite figure out why this makes me so upset. It's a simple thing that could happen to anyone in the world but to me it feels like the biggest disappointment.

The lump in my throat returns and my fingers fly at my face to brush away the tears. Just to my luck, the glass door slides open.

"Everything alright?" Hannah drawls.

I nod before spinning on my heel and facing her, hopping she doesn't notice my tear streaked face.

"You sure?"

I flash a tight-lipped smile of faux assurance.

"Looks like I've got a pie to deliver."

I stroll back into the living room behind Hannah, going back to chat with her and her friends as if nothing had ever happened.

As great as I was at making pies and hosting dinners, I was just as good at convincing those around me that I had my life all put together.

It was easy to fool them. Trying to fool myself was the battle.

Notes

Hi guys! Long time no see! I'm back after what feels like ages.

I've been wanting to update for a good month now but I just haven't had the time. I'm back in school and my schedule is so busy I hardly have time to write for leisure anymore. For those of you who don't know, I am going to school to be a journalist and it's a lot harder than movies and tv makes it out to be. I've only been in school a month and my stress level is at a 20. Glad to finally get this out to you all because otherwise it would be months until I updated.

So, about this chapter. Another bit of a filler, I apologise again, next chapter will actually have action. Here's just a few questions to get you all back into the groove: How do you think River and Harry's date night will turn out? Will it be a beautiful night or a disaster? Does River seem like she's doing okay health wise? What do you think of Hannah's friends? Do you think Hannah know's something isn't right with River and her husband? Was Harry wrong for blowing River off? Was River wrong to be upset with him? Is Harry not as bad as he's made out to be a River's just spoiled? Sorry for all the questions. It's been so long since I've heard what you all think.

As I mentioned before my schedule is unpredictable at this point. Updates for the next few months will probably be few and far between. Hopefully you all will stick through it with me.

Sorry if this update was crappy. Until next time! Thanks for reading and feel free to leave a little review !

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