Today was a very big day.

Harry and I were finally breaking the news to our families. I'd never been more excited or anxious about anything in my whole entire life. Even waiting on my acceptance letter to culinary school had been less terrifying than this. Everyone was going to know that we'd successfully created a human being together.

My stomach had been fluttering with nervousness since I woke up this morning. I'd only downed a grapefruit and a boiled egg before I was already prepping for tonight's dinner. Everything about tonight needed to be absolutely perfect. It's not every day that a mother's only child breaks the news of her first pregnancy. Mom had graciously and eagerly accepted Harry and I's invitation to dinner and there was no doubt in my mind that she'd be anything less than ecstatic once we finally broke the news.

It wasn't her reaction I was concerned about.

Around noon I'd packed a lunch and headed in route for Harry's office. I hardly ever visited him at work but his lunch hour was the only moment of the day he had free to make a Skype call to Anne and Des. Being that they lived all the way in England they didn't have the advantage of getting a formal announcement like Mom did but we were determined to make the best of it.

I impatiently tapped my foot as I waited for the elevator to get to Harry's floor, running my hands over the sundress I'd slipped into. The building was so large and everyone inside was so professional looking I was afraid I'd underdressed. Once the doors finally opened was greeted with the sight of what looked like a never-ending corridor, men in suits and women in tight pencil skirts strutting around. I tried hard not to draw any attention to myself as I paced the hall until I found the door bearing a gold plated "Styles". I grinned to myself, wrapping my knuckles against the wood of the door.

"Yeah?" his deep voice booms.

I slowly turn the knob and peak my head through the door, catching sight of him slumped over his desk.

"Fancy office you've got here, Styles." I quip.

He stares up from the document he'd been focused on, a slow, dimpled grin adorning his lips.

"Hey, babe. Come on in."

I softly close the door behind me before sauntering over to his desk and placing the picnic basket on top.

"I figured you'd be hungry so I packed us a lunch. I made tuna sandwiches for you and cucumber for me. I read somewhere that I'm not allowed to have seafood. Too much mercury," I pause briefly to press a kiss to his mouth. " I'm so hungry I could eat a cow. Do you have a restroom in here?"

I take a deep breath, the words having come out in one big slur. I could get really chatty when I was nervous.

Harry chuckles.

"Yeah. It's just over there," he points his finger in the direction of a small room.

The bigger the baby grew the more frequently I found myself running to the restroom.

I checked my face in the mirror before leaving, making sure the light make up I'd applied was still fresh and my hair was in place. I hadn't seen Anne and Des in quite some time and I didn't want to look run down once I finally saw them again.

I chuckle at the sight of Harry rummaging through the picnic basket when I return, running my damp hands against the fabric of my dress.

"Hungry?" I ask.

He grins.

"Starving. It's not every day that a beautiful woman brings me lunch. C'mere. "

I do as I'm told, gasping in surprise when he pulls me on his lap.

"I'm not too heavy for this?" I ask reaching for a sandwich wrapped in wax paper.

He shrugs.

"Not yet."

"Yet," I scoff. "I'm offended."

"It's the truth, darling," Harry speaks before taking a bite. "eventually you'll get too big and too heavy for virtually anything,"

I chew at my bottom lip in thought, imagining myself months from now wobbling around like a penguin and sporting a balloon belly.

"Well then, I'll make you wait on me hand and foot. After all, you are responsible for my current state."

After our blow-out argument about my coffee consumption, things between Harry and I had both cooled down and heated up. For as long as we'd been a couple we were always the break-up-to-make-up type. After intense arguments, we often entered a honeymoon phase free of arguments and loaded with sex. In the beginning, I used to think it was some silver lining but being wiser and older I knew it was only a matter of time before we were right back at square one. It was fun while it lasted though and with my hormones out of whack and sex drive back with a vengeance, I really had no reason to complain.

"Why is the man always the bad guy? If I remember correctly you were just as much in on this as me," he smirks.

I reach for a strawberry in the basket.

"Because you don't have to carry it. You just get the easy job of watching it grow."

We eat in silence for a bit until Harry's computer chimed, signaling the call we'd been anticipating all morning.

"That's Mum and Dad." he sighs, glancing over at me.

I bite down on my bottom lip.

"Great," I sigh.

"Ready?"

I let out another sigh nodding slowly.

"Hurry and answer before we miss them,"

I stare at the screen blankly and as Harry clicks the receive button. We're quickly greeted with the sight of the Styles' beautifully furnished living room but Anne and Des are nowhere in sight.

"I've never quite learned how to work this bloody thing," a feminine voice chirps. "why'd he have to go move all the way to the States?"

I nervously drum my fingertips against the desk, patiently waiting for Anne to figure things out.

"Mum?" Harry calls. "Mum? Can you see me?"

Upon Harry's voice, Anne finally comes into view. It should be pretty late in England at this time of day but she's wearing a silk bathrobe with full makeup and a pair of sparkly, formal earrings that look so scintillating on the screen I'm afraid they'll blind us both. A martini glass filled with what looks like vodka is perched between her fingers, as per usual.

"Harry, darling!" she shouts with excitement, her face lighting up at the sight of her son. "it's so good to see you! You're so handsome!"

"Hi Mummy," Harry grins, putting his dimples on full display.

It was no secret that Harry was a mama's boy. Sometimes I wondered why he'd decided to study in America, miles and miles away from his beloved mother.

"Des!" she shouts. "Come look, it's our darling boy!"

I plaster on a smile, waiting for her to acknowledge me.

"Harry?" Des questions as he comes into view. "Harry! How's it going, lad?"

"Great, Dad." he clears his throat softly and the two suddenly seem to catch on.

"Is that River with you?" she questions, squinting at the screen. "Hi, love, I almost didn't recognize you! You look lovely,"

"Thank you, Anne. Same to you. Hi, Des."

I'd only interacted with Harry's parents a few times when we'd gone to visit. The Styles were very warm and hospitable in person but there was something about them that gave me the impression that they weren't too fond of me, especially Anne. We'd never quite connected the way mother and daughter-in-laws are expected to. Harry's family was of old English money while my mother and I lived in a station wagon for the first four years of my life and stumbled on money by chance. In a practical sense, I wasn't the best match for their son.

There was a bit of an awkward silence after our greetings until Des spoke.

"So how's the business, son? Givin' em hell, yeah?"

"Nothing less," Harry answers plainly.

"How's life in Carolina? Haven't you gotten tired of America yet?" Anne interjects.

"It's nice Mum, things are a bit slower here than New York but I still love the states. Beach is great here. "

Anne frowns, shifting her glass to the opposite hand.

"You can't mean that. Your heart will always be here," she shifts her gaze to me and I prepare myself for her antics. "Are you working, River? You're still a cook, right?"

I take a deep breath trying to mask my annoyance and not blow a fuse for the sake of my unborn child.

"I'm a chef actually," I force another grin. "and I actually started a catering business last year. Harry didn't tell you?"

She shrugs before taking a sip of her martini as Des stared blankly into the screen. He was a man of few words.

"Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. My memory's not what it used to be. Forgive me, love."

I go back to chewing my lip as Harry glances at me again. He knows I'm ready to get this over with. Under the desk, I reach for his hand, squeezing it gently.

"Mum, Dad," he starts slowly. "we didn't really call to make small talk or have a family reunion."
Anne raises a thinly plucked eyebrow.

"Oh? Well, why else did you want to call your parents whom you haven't properly seen in almost a year?"

Harry sighs running a hand through his curls.

"We wanted to tell you that we're- that River and I are having a baby."

The silence that falls over the four of us is so thick you could slice it with a knife.

"River's pregnant?" Anne finally croaks.

She says the words in an incredulous manner like we've just told her that pigs can fly.
I nod flashing a smile.

"Yes Mum," Harry replies. "we're expecting-we'll River's expecting,"

"Wow," Des mumbles.

"If you don't mind me asking," Anne begins. "was this planned?"

I suddenly feel the need to speak up.

"Not exactly. It was a surprise. But a lovely one."

"Lovely indeed," Anne replies. "I can't believe my boy's going to be a father,"

Harry chuckles nervously.

"Couldn't believe it myself."

"I really don't know what to say." she continues.

I don't know, maybe "congratulations"?

"Our boy's going to be a dad!" Des announces. "I think this calls for a drink. Anne, I'm breaking out the brandy!"

She plasters on a smile that even a mannequin could make look more convincing before snapping her head in her husband's direction.

"Desmond, no. We've had enough tonight. Plus it's impolite to drink in front of a lady when she's expecting. "

I fight the urge to roll my eyes at her fake sentiment. Harry must be able to sense my agitation as he gently brushes his thumb against the back of my hand.

"Well, Mum. Dad. We just wanted to give you an update. I should be getting back to work." He speaks.

Anne frowns.

"Alright, dear. If you must. Do keep us updated on when the baby is coming?"

"Yeah, sure. We will."

She plasters on another faux smile.

"Well. bye for now." she gives a quick wave before nudging Des away from the screen.

"Jesus Christ. " are her last words before the screen goes blank.

Harry lets out a long sigh.

"Well, that went swimmingly," he drawls.

Like the Titanic.

*****
"Could she be any more obvious?" I huff whilst yanking a comb through my hair. "she hates me,"

I'd been fuming about Anne and Des's reaction(or lack thereof) all afternoon since I'd left Harry's office and after being hit with an unexpected wave of nausea a few hours before it was safe to say I wasn't in the best of moods. The verbal ranting had started as soon as he'd arrived home and had yet to cease.

I glare at Harry's reflection through the mirror, so angry I could burn a hole through the glass.

"You're goin' to pull all your hair out if you don't stop, River Dawn," he sighs, adjusting the buttons on his shirt. "that's not true. Mum likes you she's just not the best at expressing her feelings."

I roll my eyes, adjusting the diamond studs in my ears.

"Stop making excuses for your mother Harry. She only pretends to like me." I stand up from the vanity with another huff. "she wouldn't even tell us congratulations. If I'd been one of those rich, blonde socialite types you used to date she'd be over the moon but to her I'm just white trash."

I slip on a pair of flats, preparing to leave the room when Harry gently grabs hold of my arm.

"If I wanted to marry the blonde, socialite type I would have but I didn't. You're the woman I wanted to marry."

The gaze of his jade eyes is so intense I feel my cheeks burning and my breath feels stuck in my throat and I'm afraid if I don't look away I won't be able to keep my hands to myself. As flattered as I am however I'm not entirely convinced.

"Fine choice you made, huh? Bet you regret being married to me now."

His hands grab at my waist, pulling me close to him.

"That's not true, Riv."

He bends down to press his lips against my neck and I close my eyes, quivering at his touch. It feels so right but yet something about this moment seems so wrong. I gently push him away.

"Tell me another lie,"

By the time Mom arrived, I was feeling in much better spirits not caring to let Anne and her antics ruin what was supposed to be a special and poignant night for my mother and I.

"This is such a delight in comparison to my usual Thursday night meals: chicken nuggets and fluffernutter," Mom chuckles, bringing her wine glass to her lips. "River didn't get the cooking gene from me."

I'd set the table with her favorite yellow freesias, made her favorite slow roast chicken and brought her favorite wine. I wasn't in any rush to make the announcement, I was too busy watching her enjoy herself.

I flash a grin from across the table.

"Sneaking down into the kitchen and spending too much time with the Gallaghers paid off," I reply pointedly.

"Rachel always did cook very well,"

I glance over at Harry who pushes an asparagus around on his plate.

"Sorry again about the change of plans, Kate. Riv and I would have liked to get together for the weekend if I didn't have to hit the road again."

Mom smiles.

"No worries, Harry. I'm a single middle-aged woman. What else could I be doing on a Thursday night?"

"You wouldn't let me hook you up with the guy who delivers your bread," I chide.

She chortles.

"Who Matt? He was a stage five clinger. We never even went out and he thought he owned me! I couldn't have done worse if I'd picked him myself,"

"I admit, I had false hope," I reply poking a bean on my plate. "he was so well educated in breads I just knew he was a catch. If I weren't married I'd have gone after him,"

I glance over at Harry giving him a small smirk.

"I reckon that summer job I took at the bakery back in tenth form helped me out a bit," he retorts.

There were so many things about Harry that had initially lured me in. I'd been this innocent, shy and cautious girl whereas he was the complete antithesis: experienced, outgoing and confident. He was elegant and cultured, charming and sexy, the type of guy most girls only dream of. Being with Harry was like watching a movie in technicolor for the first time after having seen a dozen in black and white. I'm completely convinced I'd be a totally different woman if we'd never crossed paths. Had I been ten years older and knew what I knew now, I still can't say I'd do anything differently.

" Yeah, I just knew you were the one when you knew the difference between focaccia and white," I push myself away from the table. "Anyone up for dessert?"

We'd moved in the living room to devour the lemon tart I'd made and hopefully sober Mom up for the drive home with a little hot tea. I was growing excitable and impatient and didn't think I could hold in the news any longer. Making the announcement over dessert just seemed perfect.

"So, you're probably wondering why we invited you over, Kate," Harry speaks slowly while placing his tea cup on the coffee table.

Mom stares over the brim of her own cup, her eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"I do have my suspicions," she replies honestly.

He grins, placing a hand on top of my thigh. I take that as my cue.

"Mom, Harry and I have some life changing news to share with you," I begin.

"Life changing?" her blue eyes widen and she places her drink on the table in anticipation.

"Very." Harry replies simply.

I can hardly contain my grin as I grab hold of Harry's hand.

"Mom, I'm pregnant."

The words have hardly left my mouth before she's bouncing from her seat.

"I knew it! Just knew it! You were acting so strange." she covers her mouth once the realization hits her. "My little baby. My baby is having a baby!"

"Congrats Mom, you're going to be a nana." I smile.

"Oh, River. You're going to be a mom. Come here." she holds her arms out to me and at that moment the approval of Harry's parents is totally trite.

We're both a mess of tears as she strokes my hair, squeezing me tight.

"You've always been the most precious thing to me and I hope that this baby will make you as happy as you've always made me."

"Oh, Mom. Don't say such sweet things to me. Not when I'm a hormonal mess." I giggle, brushing away my tears.

She softly pulls away, stray tears twinkling in her blue eyes as she smooths down my hair.

"I mean it, sweetie. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be a grandmother." she turns to Harry who watches us with a small smile. "And thanks to you too, Harry. I don't think this would be possible without you. Get over here. You should know by now that I don't bite."

As I watch them embrace, I can't help thinking of Harry's initial reaction. While I'd accepted his apology and was thankful that he was showing more interest in the baby it was something I wasn't sure I'd ever truly be able to forgive him for. I wonder what Mom would think if she knew what a jerk he could be sometimes.

"This is all so wonderful!" Mum exclaims. "I'm going to be the coolest nana around."

When Mom is long gone I am still awake, scrubbing up the massive pile of dishes from tonight's dinner. Harry has retreated up to his office to finish some last minuet work so the house is mostly quiet. Its nearly midnight and my body is practically screaming for sleep but I can't seem to settle down. I'm not sure if I'm just hung over from the adrenaline of a busy day but something seems terribly wrong.

A few hours ago I was bursting with happiness to share my baby news with my mother but suddenly I'm hit with the deepest, keenest, feeling of melancholy. Nothing and everything was suddenly wrong. This feeling wasn't at all foreign. I felt it quite a bit when Harry was home for extended periods of time but I never knew exactly why. Sometimes the happiest moments make you realize just how unhappy you actually are.

"River," his deep voice knocks me out of my trance, a mix of exasperation and confusion.
"jesus, you'll wake the whole neighborhood up banging those pots together."

He's changed into pajamas and his curls fall messily over his forehead. He looks like he needs sleep himself.

"Sorry," I reply sheepishly.

He sighs.

"Darling, what are you even still doing up? It's late and we've got a dishwasher y'know. I didn't pay to get one installed just for you to wash em by hand. "

I meet his gaze shortly before turning my back to him and going back to scrubbing the pan.
"Because, I want to. I'm making myself useful. " I reply.

I feel his hands rubbing up and down the length of my arms.

"Riv, you look and sound like a madwoman. You've been cooking all day. You're tired. Go to bed."

I pull away, suddenly feeling angry.

"Stop telling me what to do. I always do what you want me to do,"

A deep sigh escapes him.

"Fucking hell. Is this about Mum again? I told you not to worry about her."

"This has nothing do to with Anne," I huff.

Okay, maybe just a little bit. It was a build up of a lot of things.

"Well then what's wrong?"

I toss the pan into the sink with a loud clatter, spinning around to face him.

"Everything, Harry. Everything is wrong. I'm constantly waiting on the other shoe to drop.This is no way to live,"

"River, what the hell are you talking about? You were so happy a few hours ago?"

He folds his arms across his chest, trying to make some sense of my madness.

"That's the thing. I'm not genuinely happy. You're not either. We're just pretending. I don't wanna pretend anymore. Especially when there's a a baby on the way that deserves to live in a happy environment."

Harry chews at the corner of his lip in deep, soaking in my words.

"So we're not textbook definition happy . But we're content. No couple is perfect. We're fine, babe."

I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"Stop lying to me, Harry. Stop lying to yourself. Sure we're fine now but you only know we'll be at each other's throats sooner of later. You said so yourself that this baby wouldn't fix things between us. We're not the same Harry and River we were ten years ago. We're just a shadow of that."

"What do you want from me?" he finally growls.

"I think- " I sigh whilst trying to gather my words. "I think we should see someone."

"Like a therapist?"

I nod slowly, trapping my bottom lip between my teeth in anticipation of his reaction.

"No. Absolutely not." he laughs harshly. "I'm not paying someone to meddle in my love life and tell me how to be married to my wife. No. You can forget it. "

He's already turned his back to me, a clear indication that he's shut down and that there's nothing I can say or do that will change his mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.

"We can't fix every little thing ourselves!" I shout after him as he trudges up the staircase but he selectively can't hear.

The deafening sound of the door slamming upstairs is surely the death of our little honeymoon and just when he set to leave.

Congrats River, you've fucked it up again.

Every time it looks like we're making a 180 we end up right back at 360.

Notes

I feel like my heart is stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic
I'm under pressure cause I can't have you the way that I want
Let's just go back to the way it was.

Hiya! I'm back and with the drama that I kind of (sort of ) hinted at. There's so much to talk about in this chapter. What did you all think about the family reactions?? What do you think about the Styles? Why is Anne so shady? And why do you think Harry's parents are not a big fan of his choice in River? Do you think Anne influences Harry's attitude towards their relationship?

Now to our favorite couple. Why do you think Harry and River are always fussing and making up and then fussing again? What are they doing wrong? How do you make sense of River's post-baby announcement break down? Why is she suddenly so suspicious of everything? Is she right to suggest couple's therapy? Why is Harry so against the idea? Why does he constantly insist that nothing is wrong?

Sorry for all the questions, I just love to hear what you all think!

We shall see more about how River feels about this hot and cold with Harry and I know I keep promising flashbacks, they're coming I promise!

That's all for now! Thanks so much to everyone who's reading and reviewing! Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading and feel free to leave a little review!

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