Yellow

It was the colour of her dress when they both met.

The kind of shade that rustles amongst the grains of sand, wistful and reminiscent of those halcyon days spent with his family by the shore of Bora Bora—of those who were long buried beneath a plethora of mistakes. A seed of doubt planted itself in his stomach that day; he knew not whether she would find old bones that spoke of surreptitious affairs, or dig up rubble that stained his hands with mud along the way.

And from then on it was the restraint of ugly roots that remained coiled around his hollow chest.

Often it took a deserted walk down a cold and murky road to crave warmth, a dream as seen through open eyes, and a desperate desire to feel something—anything—to dive and drown in cold water even when the instinct to swim was at every nerve ending. And that's how he lived by her side.

It was the subtlety of his fingertips as they brushed along her porcelain cheek, soft as the feel of velvet against bare skin. "Avery," she rejoiced in the sound of her name falling through his lips in a gentle whisper as they danced days later to a foreign tune, words indecipherable yet conveying the pain of unrequited love blasting a hole in unguarded heart all the same.

It was the pale moonlight filtering through a window in his dark gray room, casting soft shadows on his face and encouraging the virescent shade of his eyes. She took every thought that would drive herself away from him and cast them in a small, dimly lit space in her brain—a place never to be looked again.

It was the feel of her hair sifting through his fingertips, of the sound of his name escaping her in pleased gasps, of all the groans and sweet nothings shared between them as they finally connected as one. An act so sinful yet so holy it made him weak, drove him mad; he could barely hold onto his sanity while loving her. It was lost somewhere between distant voices and spangled sights.

Time suspended between sweet days and bitter winds, it was the softness of late summer breeze as it laughed with them when his swing went higher than her. It was splattered everywhere—each shade significant of the blooming death as fall drifted through the air. Wilting flowers and shedding leaves, with her joyful squeals dulcifying the scene, he felt most content there.

And then it was the colour of his ghastly face when she pleaded for him to understand. It was the imprint of her words on his skull as they spread in him like poison. It was the stale stench of loneliness as he realised that everything never meant to accelerate beyond physical. The suffocating pale walls were closing in as he tried looking for a loophole, but alas, he was trapped in his own mind.

It wasn't the warm sunshine that fell on him from then, instead it was always something cool and solitary trickling over his skin. It wasn't the feeling he associated with being alive, instead it was the fiery rage burning and burning within him. It wasn't something begging her to stay, it wasn't love brightening up his misery. It was far from anything he'd ever known.

It was the colour of lilies he gave her for the very last time, the dress he made her wear as he took her out to the field, the flickering and dancing flame of the candle placed between the two of them, and the instinct to savour the feel of her lips against his chapped ones as the sun prepared the sky for a final show.

And he'd remember it as the cadaverousness of her skin and the way her eyes were to remain closed forever as he lowered her in, the ghost on her cold lips which would never smile again, the spangled dust that he covered her with, and the horrifying scream that would always echo in his ears.

It would always be the empty feeling as he stared at her face for a long time; something so innocent yet devoid of its evangelical beauty.

It was yellow;

not that of sunlit days days or pleasant dreams or happy forevers, but that of dead skin and pale walls and bruised hearts and wicked minds.

Pure, unadulterated yellow

Notes

This was supposed to be sweet and cliché oneshot but then I changed my mind! All I hope now is that it isn't cringe worthy :)