Back to The Beginning

As soon as the show was over, Liam made his way over to me. “Great job,” he said, hugging me. “And congratulations on being through to next week.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“Do you already know what song you’re doing? It’s Ed Sheeran week, and isn’t there a song of his that’s a little...extra special to you?” He laughed softly and winked, and it felt like a stab to the heart. I hadn’t told him that I’d broken up with Drystan, and i most definitely hadn’t told him why.

I pushed my fake smile wider and nodded. “You bet I’m doing that song,” I replied. He didn’t know that Simon and I had already discussed it, had already planned the heartbreaking spin we were putting on it.

Liam seemed to sense how upset I was. “Are you okay?” he asked, cupping my cheek as Adley came over.

I turned to her and pulled myself away from his hand. “I’m just fine, Liam,” I answered, kissing his cheek quickly. “I’ll call you tonight and explain.”

He nodded and Adley pulled me into her arms as I broke down crying again. “Shhhh, it’s okay Kayla,” she whispered, stroking my hair soothingly.

“It hurts so much,” I told her, sobbing into her chest. “So so so so much.”

I felt more arms wrap around me, and I knew it was James and Taylor. “We know. It’s gonna be okay. You have us, we’re right here for you,” Taylor’s voice came and then he kissed my hair.

I wrapped my arms around them and just continued to cry. “He’s getting what he wants if he’s tearing you apart,” James said, rubbing my back. “You can only win by showing him you’re better than him.”

“I know, but to get over the heartbreak I have to get it out,” I answered, wiping my eyes.

“And we’re not going to stop you,” Adley said as we walked backstage, the three of them forming a protective barrier around me.

**********LIVE SHOW #2**********

Everything was so rushed, I could barely breathe. “Kayla, are you in your outfit?” someone shouted at me, looking over and scanning my jeans and top that I’d brought from home. “You are, good. Get to hair and makeup.”

I got pushed in that direction so I made my way there as quickly as possible. As soon as I got there, people descended onto me, curling my hair into beachy waves and doing my makeup in my typical natural way before placing a hat onto my head and pushing me out of the styling room.

I headed over to the backstage area, where Adley, who had already performed, hugged me. “You can do this,” she said, placing ghost kiss on my cheek so I didn’t have a lipstick stain. “You’re great at the song, and the story you’re telling is amazing. You’re gonna be a great heartbreaker tonight when you close out the show.”

I smiled. “Thanks babe,” I replied. “I’m just worried about the chance of me breaking down in the middle of the song and not being able to finish.”

“You cry every time you sing this song, and you still finish and do great. You’re going to be fine,” she reassured me, kissing my cheek.

“I really hope so,” I told her, feeling like a ball of nerves. “I really, really hope so.”

She nodded, knowing me better than to say anything more, and as soon as James, who was performing directly before me, came offstage, he gave me a hug. “You got this, Kayla,” he said, and I nodded.

“Three minutes to air!” a production person yelled, ruining the moment. I sighed, taking my place at the side of the stage as they pulled props off. The three minutes passed quickly, and as my intro package played, I jogged to my spot onstage and stood behind the mic.

As soon as the video package, which was basically me explaining my whole relationship with Drystan and a lot of tears, was over, the first few bars of the song played. I hummed along with them softly, knowing that pictures of me and Drystan were plastered all over the video screens.

By the time I had made it through the first verse and chorus, I had tears rolling down my cheeks like water at Niagara Falls.

And if you hurt me,
That’s okay baby, only words bleed,
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go

I sang the bridge softly, going back to my belt on the last word as I built for one last chorus. As I sang through that chorus, the pictures of me and Drystan started to fade out, and pictures of me and Liam, me and Adley, me and James, and me and Taylor began to fill the screen. However, the last picture that showed, on the last word, was the picture Drystan and I took at Disneyland London on our 1 year anniversary of us kissing, and seeing it again, tears rolled down my face even more.

I didn’t even look at the audience or the judges as I wiped my tears, making my way down to the center of the stage from the box I had been standing on. I sniffed, but I couldn’t make the tears slow down.

“That was absolutely incredible,” Tulisa started. “I’m sorry that happened to you, but you’re so much better than that and you just proved it on that stage tonight.” I nodded, continuing to wipe tears.

“Your talent is simply amazing,” Simon said, smiling. “The emotion and power of the performance just made it that much better. I really hope the public votes for you, because there is nothing about you you aren’t committing to being here and you’re not faking anything.”

“Each time I see you, you somehow have become even more of an amazing artist,” Louis contributed. “Your star power is through the roof, and any boy out there that can’t see the quality of person you are is just blind.”

There was one more judge left to speak, and that was my brother, who had only found out about my breakup minutes ago. As soon as Louis was done, he immediately jumped out of his chair and made his way up onstage to me and wrapped me in a bear hug. “I’m gonna kill him,” he whispered in my hair. “Can I borrow your mic?”

I nodded, slipping it into his hand and he pulled away, leaving his arm around my shoulders. “I’m so incredibly proud to be your brother,” he told me. “And Louis, I fully agree with what you said. She’s surprising everyone with her talent.” He kissed my hair. “Even me.”

Dermot had run out and over to us while Liam was speaking. “Obviously, this has been a tough week for you, Kayla. How do you feel about the judges’ comments after it?”

I sniffed and Liam wiped some of my tears away. “I’m just so grateful that they think so highly of me and I just want to keep making music and performing on this show, no matter what happens to me personally,” I answered.

He smiled and went into the scripted reminder about voting as Liam walked me off the stage and I collapsed, sobbing, into his arms. “I hate him,” I cried. “I hate him.”

He kissed my hair and held me close. “I know Kayla. Believe me, next time I see him, he’s going to hear it from me. And I’m so proud of you and what you’re achieving. You’re going to show him you don’t need him.”

Little did we know, a picture of us backstage had made its way to the show’s instagram.

xfactoruk: these two are our #siblinggoals @liampayne @kaylapayne

Notes