Back to The Beginning

I opened my door and walked inside my small flat. I could afford more but I liked the normalcy the London rental offered. Dropping my bags in my bedroom, I made my way to the living room.

All the lights were off. The curtains were closed. All the blankets were piled up on the couch, and under them was a lump the size of Zayn. I rushed over to him, wrapping my arms around him. He melted into them, breaking down again.

I kissed his cheek softly. “I’m home and I’m staying home until I’m sure you’re okay,” I whispered in his ear. “Friends take care of friends.”

He just cried, and we stayed like that for the rest of the day and into the evening. I would sometimes get up to go get water or food for the two of us, and he would occasionally shift positions or go to use the bathroom. Around 6 pm I forced him to shower and change clothes.

It broke me, seeing him like this. He was someone I cared deeply about, and he was completely broken. It seemed like he had lost the will to do anything for himself. Gigi had been his motivation for so long, and now that she was gone, he was lost.

As soon as he came back from his shower, he seemed to be feeling a bit better. “That was the first time I’ve showered since I came here,” he rasped.

I reached out and cupped his cheek. “Zayn,” I sighed, stepping closer to him and wrapping my arms around him. “Have you eaten?”

He shook his head no. “I’m making you eat,” I told him. “You can live in my house and cry on my shoulder, but you can’t starve yourself.”

That earned a sigh from him as I led him to the kitchen. He perched himself on a stool and slumped onto the counter while I began to cook.

“It’s mac and cheese tonight,” I said, and he just nodded. “Also, I have some visitors coming over. Liam and some friends of his, they wanted to see my after I got back from tour.”

He seemed to curl into himself. “Who are the friends?”

I smiled reassuringly to him. “Nobody who will judge you, I promise. I made it clear that if they said a word against you they were never welcome in my house again.”

My best friend smiled softly at me, and I slid his bowl over to him. Even as he ate he seemed dejected. Midway through the meal, there was a knock at the door, and both of us looked up.

“I can get it,” he mumbled, and I shook my head.

“Like hell. You finish up, I’ll get it.” He tried to protest, but I stood and gave him a firm look, and he relented.

I made my way down the hall from the kitchen to the door and opened it to see four smiling faces. I hugged them all and then beckoned them in. “Most of the lights are off,” I told them, speaking softly so that my voice wouldn’t carry throughout the house. “Keep your voices low. And remember, you say a word against Zayn, you’re never welcome here again.”

The four of them nodded, and I led them back to the kitchen. As we entered, I cleared my throat softly to alert Zayn of our presence.

He seemed to snap out of a trance as his eyes swept over my visitors, and I moved over to his side in reassurance. “They’re not going to attack you,” I reminded him, but he remained tense.

The tallest of my visitors cleared his throat, his colorful print shirt standing out against the darkness that was ruling my house. The awkwardness in the house was palpable. “So...hi, Zayn,” he offered.

“Hello,” my best friend offered, as I pushed his half-eaten dinner towards him.

“Zayn, you need to eat,” I reminded him gently.

Another one of my visitors caught my eye and smiled at me. “Hello there love,” he said, his thick accent permeating his words.

“Hello there friend,” I returned, taking both my and Zayn’s bowls and carrying them over to the sink.

“Tour treat you well?”

“As well as it could have,” I answered, kissing him on the cheek before returning to Zayn’s side. As soon as I was sitting again, he rested his head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around him.

“So, um, forgive me for sounding insensitive, but who died?” came an Irish voice from beside my brother.

I glanced at Zayn and he just shrugged. I nodded, the unspoken words telling me everything I needed to know. “He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

The four of them nodded. “I like your flat,” Liam piped up, breaking the tense air. “Can we get a tour?”

I looked at my best friend again, and he nodded. The two of us stood, and I smiled at my guests. “Follow me.”

Zayn and I showed them around our now-shared flat, and I bit my lip when we came to my room. “Sorry I left it a wreck,” I said, blushing fiercely. “I was running a bit late.”

Everyone laughed, Zayn included. “I’m the same way, don’t worry,” Zayn said, and I smiled.

“So this flat will be even more of a mess next time you visit,” I told them, and he just smiled at me while our guests laughed.

Next, I showed them the guest bedrooms. “Z gets his pick of these when he finally decides to move off my couch,” I said jokingly.

“Who says I’ll move? Your couch is comfy,” he came back, and I laughed.

“I do. If you’re living with me, you’re sleeping in a bedroom, not on my couch!” I returned.

“Then we’ll go with the biggest bedroom,” he said. “I like to spread out.”

I smirked. “Well, the biggest room is my room, and I’m not moving out,” I retorted.

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure of that?”

The visitor in the bright patterned shirt cleared his throat again, reminding of us the presence of others in the hall with us. I blushed crimson and my best friend took a small step back from me.

“Thank you,” my brother said. “Anything else?”

Zayn shrugged, and so did I. “I mean there’s a patio but I haven’t had time to do anything with it yet.”

They all nodded. “How about we go back to the living room and figure out something to do?” The Irish accent asked.

“That sounds cool to me,” Zayn replied, and so we all headed back to the living room. We settled on just playing around with music, and I grabbed the guitars off the rack.

For hours, we played all sorts of songs. Anything someone wanted to sing. At some point we turned the fireplace on and made hot cocoa, and we just sat around the fireplace on pillows singing. It was fun, and everyone was smiling.

Everyone together, I smiled. The five of them, all in one room, spending an entire evening singing and smiling and laughing together, was something that hadn’t happened in years.

I rested my head on Zayn’s shoulder and sipped my drink as we sang Through The Dark. Maybe there was hope for One Direction after all.

niallhoran: family night @liampayne @louistomlinson @harrystyles @kaylapayne @zaynmalik

Notes