In Transit

February 2018

Harry drove nearly eleven hours before he stopped for the night. And he only stopped because Mason complained of a stiff neck from being propped up against the door as she slept. It was nearly two o’clock in the morning when Harry pulled over to rent a hotel room in Abilene, Texas. It was late and Mason could feel the exhaustion in her bones.

The two of them were quiet as they walked to the hotel room, and she couldn’t shake the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought about Harry and what he had been through in the past couple of days. His eyes were blood shot from the long drive, and it made Mason feel bad because she didn’t stay awake with him through the long hours. He probably had so much on his mind after getting all that information about his life, and learning how big of a scandal it was since he was born.

“Harry…” Mason breathed, watching his back as he dug through his luggage and pulled out his shower things.

“Hmm,” he hummed, not even turning around to look at her.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” he said, ignoring her question as he turned his head and sent her a weak smile before heading into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, effectively shutting her out.

Mason’s heart ached for him as she sat down on the bed. How much could one person take before they completely broke? She knew this trip wasn’t going to be all butterflies and rainbows, but she wasn’t exactly expecting to hear that Harry’s fake father threatened to ruin his real father if he ever came for Harry. What kind of a human being would do something like that? It really bothered her, especially because of the fact that the man never even treated him like his own son. He treated Harry like garbage his entire life. Why do that to an innocent child?

Mason didn’t even realize she was crying until she felt a tear hit her hand. It surprised her, but at the same time didn’t at all. Harry opened up the dam inside of her on this trip and she hadn’t been able to hold back her emotions since. His presence, his meddling had her crying more than she had in her entire life. He continued to throw her into a tailspin, making her into a mess in the process. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, determined to keep the emotions off her face for Harry’s sake. He didn’t need that right now. She could be strong for him, and she would be.

Mason pulled herself off of the bed to dig in her own bag, pulling out her toothbrush. They were once again in one of those nifty hotel rooms that had the bathroom sink outside of the actual bathroom, so she was able to get ready for bed without waiting for Harry to get done in the shower. Quickly, she readied her toothbrush and started to brush her teeth, walking back to her bag to grab clothes to sleep in. Nearly everything she brought with had been worn, so she wasn’t working with much. She sighed as she pulled out a pair of pajama shorts she surprisingly hadn’t worn yet and an old t-shirt she slept in at least a few times during the trip – when she wasn’t naked.

Mason walked back to the sink, hearing the shower running in the bathroom, but what she heard along with it nearly broke her heart. Harry was crying. She could hear it through the door of the bathroom, over the rush of the shower water. He was crying, and her heart squeezed tightly in her chest as her breathing became ragged. Why did it break her heart so badly to hear him breaking down? She had only been witness to Harry crying two other times and each time broke her heart a little more. She never wanted him to be sad. She couldn’t handle the thought of him being so unhappy that tears were necessary.

Mason quickly spit out her toothpaste and rinsed her toothbrush as she hovered outside the bathroom door wondering whether or not she should go in and talk to him. What if he needed her?

“Harry?” Mason called, knocking lightly as she cracked open the door.

“Yeah?” He said just loud enough so she could hear him over the sound of the shower.

“Are you okay?” She asked, opening the door a little wider. He didn’t answer, but she swore she heard a tiny whimper escape his lips, and it tore at her.

Mason stepped inside of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. He needed her. Or at least she hoped. She knew he needed something, and she was the only person there to help him. She wasn’t quite sure how she was going to help him though, because in the past when he needed her he would just send her a text and she’d come running. But now he wasn’t coming to her – he was crying in the bathroom alone.

With a deep breath, Mason managed to pull all of the clothing off her shaking body before she tip-toed toward the shower. He was either going to accept her coming to comfort him or reject her flat out. And to be completely honest, she was not prepared for the latter.

“Harry?” Mason called again, hoping he would respond.

“Mason,” she heard him say quietly, and she knew he was reaching out.

She stepped into the shower to be met with his backside which was hunched over as he stood underneath the spray, his face in his hands.

“Harry,” she cooed, placing her hand on his back.

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” he said, turning around to look at her with a weak smile.

“Harry, you’re not fine,” she said, shaking her head sadly.

“I’m fine, Mason. I swear,” he told her again, but he couldn’t convince her.

“Please don’t lie to me,” she whispered, and his eyes just stared back into her.

“Talk to me,” she pressed.

“You know everything,” he said just as quietly. Mason nodded her head in understanding.

“I’m here, Harry,” she told him, reaching out her hand.

He watched her for a few moments before his hand grasped hers and gently tugged her to his body. Their fronts sloshed together under the wet spray of the shower. She felt his hand come up to tangle his fingers in the back of her hair, keeping her pressed against him. And he and the water were so inviting.

“You’re always there for me, Mason,” he murmured, his lips so close to her ear.

“You’re there for me too, Harry,” she retorted, turning her head so she could look up into his eyes.

“I don’t think you know how much it means to me,” he told her cryptically.

She really didn’t know. He could say it meant something to him, but how would she know? Except for maybe she could see it in the look in his eyes – the way he looked at her so contently, like he meant every single syllable of every single word. It gave her goose bumps on her warmed skin.

Both of Harry’s hands came up to gently hold her head at the base of her neck as he looked straight into her eyes, watching her, captivating her. He had a way of possessing her. He always did.

“Can we just have a night – a night where everything is just okay? Can we just be with each other for one night without the weight of the world on our shoulders?” Harry asked, sounding breathless and utterly sexy in the way the words rolled off his tongue, like it would be their last night on earth.

Mason’s eyes swelled with intensity as she looked back into his. She didn’t know how to answer him without just blurting out yes. She never was the kind of person who was comfortable in situations like these, even though she wanted it particularly bad in the moment. But lucky enough for her, Harry was well-versed in reading her body language, because soon enough his lips were pressed firmly against hers, and her mouth was opening up to his in a way to make him understand that she craved him.

The shower was drenching them underneath its stream, but neither of them minded as their mouths melded together methodically. Their bodies were pressed together, slipping and sliding against one another as their kisses took on a life of their own. Harry’s hand slid down her collarbone before coming down to palm her breast, squeezing gently, never breaking the kiss. Mason moaned lightly against his mouth when his thumb flicked across the hardening bud of her nipple. Pleasure raced through her from that one act, and she felt the fire for him growing deep within her. She could feel him hardening against her thigh, and it was maddening knowing he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.

“Fuck, Harry,” Mason whimpered as she pulled away slightly, wondering what the hell they were doing with each other. If he wanted to just be normal, then maybe it wasn’t such a good idea they went down this road with each other.

“What’s the matter?” He asked quietly. His eyes watched her and she could tell he was trying to read her mood.

She didn’t know how to answer, because really, there was nothing the matter in the moment. It was just – sometimes she just couldn’t deal with life.

“Here,” she said, reaching out to grab his shampoo bottle, squirting a dollop in her hand.

“You’re going to wash my hair?” He asked, smirking at her.

“Sure, why not?” She said, smirking back as she dumped the contents of her palm on the top of his head.

“Okay,” he laughed out loud, dropping his head down slightly as she began to work the shampoo through his hair with her fingers.

“I haven’t been shampooed since I was little,” Harry said quietly, and she could hear the smile on his lips through his words even though she couldn’t see his face.

“To be honest, I haven’t actually ever shampooed anyone before,” she told him, sliding her hands through his recently shortened hair.

“You’re doing a good job. I have goose bumps,” he chuckled, reaching out his arm to show her.

“Lean your head back,” she told him as she retracted her arms to her sides. He tipped his head up, smiling at her before he did what she asked and put his head back into the stream of water to rinse it.

Mason watched as he rinsed all of the shampoo out of his hair, her eyes occasionally dropping shamelessly down his beautifully built frame. Looking at him in a moment like that was almost too much. How was it that she ever found someone like him? How did they find each other through the billions of souls on the planet? Why was she drawn to him – and him to her?

Mason’s eyes scanned up his body, and she got flustered when she realized he was staring contently back at her with a smirk on his lips. She bit back a smile as she fumbled for his body wash and held it out for him awkwardly.

“You’re not going to wash me?” He asked, causing her stomach to flip and her cheeks to immediately heat up.

“How about I wash your hair?” He asked, putting the bottle back down, grabbing his shampoo.

“Okay,” she said quietly, turning her back to him.

“I hope you don’t mind smelling like a dude,” he chuckled lightly as he began soaping up her hair.

“I like your smell. It’s comforting,” she told him honestly, biting her lip after realizing how honest it was.

“Good to know,” he said, his voice growing serious as his fingers moved gently through her hair. Much like Harry, goose bumps erupted on her skin as he massaged her scalp. It was soothing.

“Ready to rinse?” He asked, snapping her out of her daze.

Mason turned to look at him and nodded her head. Quickly, Harry gripped onto her arms and spun them so she was under the shower stream and he was standing in front of her. She dipped her head back into the water and cleansed her hair until all of the soap was out, appreciating the warm water that relaxed all of her sore muscles.

She felt Harry’s hand slide down her abdomen, breaking her out of her revelry. She quickly tipped her head forward to look at him. His eyes were soft and unblinking, and she knew that maybe none of this was a good idea. Maybe this was just too intimate. Maybe this whole trip was a string of bad ideas. But she was never good at deciphering between good and bad.

Mason took a tiny step toward him, and she told herself it was to get out from under the water, but when his hand fell to her hip and pulled her forward, she knew it was the exact outcome she wanted. Her body was pressed against his again, and he looked down into her eyes so contently. She had no explanation for anything she was feeling.

“I don’t have any conditioner for your hair,” he said quietly, running his free hand through the ends of her strands.

“It’s okay,” she told him, sounding more breathless than she meant to.

Harry’s eyes watched her. Maybe he was waiting for her to pull away again. Maybe he was fighting his own mind on whether or not it was a good idea. She didn’t know. She just knew her body purred for him, and she was certain she could feel his humming for her.

As if he had thought long enough, Harry leaned down quickly, kissing her lips, capturing her bottom lip between his. It was such a simple kiss, but somehow it felt so near perfect she could cry. When he pulled away a sigh escaped her mouth as her hand came up to touch her lips. And without a word, Harry leaned passed her to shut off the water, and opened the shower curtain with his other hand.

“Come on,” he said quietly as he stepped out, grabbing a towel off the shelf.

Mason watched him, feeling like a wet lost puppy. But he coaxed her out and wrapped a towel around her shoulders before grabbing another one and started to dry her hair. After a moment, Mason reached out, stilling his hands as she turned toward him.

“What?” He asked, looking into her eyes.

“I came in here to comfort you,” she pointed out.

“You did comfort me,” he told her, his words sounding honest enough for her to believe them.

“I just…” Mason croaked, bowing her head.

“We’re not thinking of the bad stuff tonight, Mason. Remember?” Harry reminded her.

“Yeah,” she whispered, nodding her head as she looked back up into his eyes.

It felt like there was a whole conversation being spoken within their gaze. There were feeling inside of her she was trying like hell to suppress, but she was certain he knew all her secrets already anyway. He read her so well after all these years. So she dropped her guard as best she could, pushing herself up onto her tip-toes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His hands instantly found her hips, pulling her to his body once again. They were still wet, but that didn’t matter.

“Please don’t hold back, and don’t pull away. Not tonight,” Harry breathed against her lips. She took in his words and nodded her head in compliance.

His arms wrapped tightly around her as he kissed her and walked her backwards, opening the bathroom door. The towels fell away from their bodies as they maneuvered toward the bed, leaving them in a heap on the floor. Mason stubbed her toe against Harry’s foot, but she didn’t let it deter them.

“Mm, Mason,” Harry moaned pleasingly against her lips as one arm held her close to his body, and the other came up to grip the back of her neck.

Mason’s hands slipped seamlessly up his naked wet back, not letting too much time pass between kisses. Harry was all she wanted in those moments – more than the air she breathed, more than any other sustenance her body needed to survive. And she tried not to think about what that actually meant. Yet Harry’s presence made it hard to think of anything but him. So she focused on the beating of his heart, and his skin on her skin, and his lips on her lips.

Mason broke away from him only to slide onto the bed, looking back up at him. He watched her, his eyes taking all of her in before he knelt down on the mattress and connected their lips again. The blankets on the bed soaked up the beads of water that still clung to her skin as Harry dampness continued to shower her with more.

“Mason,” he breathed against the skin of her collarbone as he bowed his head, taking a breath.

She wrapped her legs around his lower half, pressing him against her, and they both let out a groan in response. The need she felt for him was consuming her. It was different from every other time she needed him. This was less desperate, less of her searching for peace. Her mind was already at peace, it was her body that was in need of Harry’s sating.

She felt Harry’s hand snake down the front of her body, and she knew what it meant. She knew he was as ready as she was. When she felt his fingers slide down her cleft and sink into her, she knew he was just making sure she was ready for him. She moaned lowly, her fingertips digging into the flesh of his back as his fingers slid effortlessly in and out of her a few times before he completely pulled them out.

Mason’s heart beat wildly in her chest, waiting for him to press inside of her. She would never admit it out loud, but she craved the sex they had the night they made love. Harry would never understand what he did to her. He would never know the depth he brought her to. She was sunk like an anchor in his ocean. That night changed everything for her, and ruined her all at once.

When he finally slipped inside of her, a content hum fell out of her mouth, pleased he was giving her what she silently screamed for. She was the addict that refused help. She was happily drowning.

Harry pulled up one of her legs, holding it against his hip as he slowly built up his rhythm inside of her. Her body purred for him, wanting more of what she was already getting, and Harry’s quiet little kisses on her skin only added to it all.

“Harry, oh. Oh, God,” Mason groaned, gripping onto him tightly as her back arched away from the mattress.

“You’re so beautiful,” Harry breathed into the nape of her neck as he continued working in and out of her.

His comment left her mind reeling, but not for long because the pleasure racing through her body almost made her dizzy, like she wasn’t getting enough oxygen to her brain. And maybe it was because of the tiny gasps she was taking in, replacing any kind of normal breathing. The pleasure completely engulfed her, and she felt the tugging of her orgasm deep within her.

“Oh, God,” Mason moaned breathlessly as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and dug her face into his shoulder.

Harry did his best to keep his thrusts even as she held him tightly, and she was so grateful for it when her orgasm completely consumed her. Her arms fell away from him as her body relaxed against the mattress, her chest heaving, trying to drag in the oxygen she was depriving herself of before. Harry continued, gripping onto her hips as he moved faster and slicker against her. The aftershocks of her orgasm were almost more intense and she was left pawing at the sheets as Harry rocketed through his own end. And then he was falling forward against her, his breathing heavy in her ear.

“Don’t hold back, and don’t pull away,” Harry whispered again as he relaxed against her, his body sliding to her side, but still intertwined with her own. She didn’t really know what he meant now that they finished each other off, but she didn’t move in case it was against what he wanted.

“Relax, Mason,” he insisted, and only then did she realize her body was stiff underneath his as she wondered if she was doing everything wrong.

“I don’t know how to be with you,” she admitted quietly. Harry sighed, running his nose along the top of her shoulder blade.

“Just be,” he told her.

Mason took in a ragged breath and tried her best to relax in his arms, and she felt like she was doing a pretty good job, except she knew any other person didn’t have to think that hard about being with another person.

“I’m flawed,” Mason sighed, feeling defeated by her own short-comings.

“So am I,” he pointed out.

“I-I can’t even like, enjoy this because I’m just… I’m just thinking too much. Like, who can’t just do this? I can’t. I can’t just lay here with you and just be. I’m too much of a mess. I feel too much, and not enough at the same time,” Mason spoke fast as she pulled away from him.

“No, no. Mason,” Harry said, reaching out to her, trying to pull her back to him.

“Harry,” she sighed.

“You’re learning. I can teach you,” he said, sounding slightly desperate.

“I’m not the girl you want. I can promise you that,” Mason whispered, feeling a lump in her throat as her emotions tugged at her body and mind.

“You don’t know that, Mason,” Harry sighed, shutting his eyes as he shook his head lightly.

“How could you? I’m a girl that can’t love,” she said as her tears slipped out of her eyes.

Harry didn’t answer. He leaned over, gripped her face in his hands, and kissed her lips.

“Don’t cry,” he breathed against her mouth.

“I’m sorry. Why do I do this? What’s wrong with me? I’m sorry,” she muttered as she wiped her eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Mason. You just need to learn how to accept gratification and contentment. Let your mind and your heart rest. You’re safe,” he told her, trying to comfort her. She nodded her head as her fingers slipped underneath her eyes, wiping away the tears.

“Here. Get under the blankets,” Harry offered, tugging them down so she could slide into them, and pulled them up over her naked body before he got up from the bed.

Mason watched him walk toward the bathroom, shutting off both lights before he returned to the bed and slid in next to her.

“It’s late. We both need to get some sleep,” he said as he pulled the blankets up his body.

“Yeah,” she said as she pulled her hair up into a wet mess of a ponytail and laid down against the pillow.

Their eyes connected for a few moments before Harry leaned in to kiss her lips softly in a perfect goodnight kiss. She was left silently cursing herself for being so incredibly inept that she couldn’t just appreciate what she had right in front of her. Harry shut off the bedside light, leaving the room in complete darkness. He didn’t reach out and try to hold her. She was certain she scared him off, and it almost hurt knowing he didn’t feel comfortable enough to even touch her again. After long moments of silence and stillness, she turned toward Harry and wrapped her arm around his torso.

“Here. Hold on,” he breathed through the darkness as he pulled his arm out from underneath her, and let her snuggle in the crook of his arm before wrapping it around her.

And it was the first time she had willingly fallen asleep in a man’s arms. He was her first for so much.

Notes