You + Me + Him
21: The one with the waylay...
Growing up, Alyssa usually felt comfortable enough to walk right into the Malik/Styles house, just like she was one of their own children. Most times she felt like she was. But for some reason over the past few months, she didn’t feel the same sort of comfort level she used to. She figured it started when Zayn moved out of the house. She was incredibly close to everyone in the family, but not like she was with Zayn. And even though she was now dating Harry, it still felt foreign to her to be barging in – especially since no one knew they were dating. So she knocked and waited patiently for someone to answer.
She bit at the tip of her thumbnail, distressed about what Harry saw. She was still in absolute shock and she wanted to do everything she could to explain the situation to him, so make him understand that everything between her and Zayn was over. She wasn’t pregnant and she was completely relieved because of that fact.
“Alyssa, hi,” Trisha greeted with a wide smile as she answered the door.
“Hi,” Alyssa said quietly, dropping her eyes away for a moment before she looked up at the beautiful and kind matriarch again.
“It’s so wonderful to see you, love. You don’t come around often enough anymore,” Trisha went on to say, smiling sweetly at her.
“I-I know. I just… I feel weird about it now that Zayn doesn’t live here anymore,” Alyssa explained with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Nonsense. You’re always welcome,” Trisha objected, waving it off.
“Is… is, uh Harry here? Did he come home?” Alyssa asked timidly. She felt incredibly awkward because of what just happened between her and Trisha’s two sons.
“Harry? Um… no, I don’t think so. I haven’t seen him since earlier. Why?” She answered, looking as though she was really thinking about it.
“Oh. I-I… I just need to talk to him,” Alyssa told her, her voice shaking as she spoke.
“Is something wrong?” Trisha asked, sending her a worried look.
“N-no. I just… he and I haven’t really hung out, you know… in a few days. I just wanted to see what he was up to,” Alyssa stammered, coming up with a lie that would suffice.
She truly hated lying to Trisha, since she was one of the most honest people she ever met. But Alyssa wasn’t about to come clean about everything. It would just make everything worse at that point.
“You’re welcome to sit with me until he gets home. Or you could go watch something on the telly. I think Waliyha is home,” she offered as he held her hand out tell Alyssa without words to come inside.
“I can… I can sit here with you,” Alyssa said with a small smile, holding the bottle of lotion she bought for Harry in her hand.
“I was just paying the bills,” Trisha said, smiling at Alyssa as they moved toward the dining room where she had many different papers and her laptop sprawled out on the table for her usage. Alyssa slipped the bottle of lotion into the front pocket of her hoodie as she sat down.
“So, how are you and Zayn getting along?” She asked as she sat down too. Alyssa felt her heart speed up and her face flush thinking about what they just went through – another pregnancy scare.
“I don’t know. About the same as usual,” Alyssa told her, even though things were pretty tense at the moment. But not as tense at things were with Harry.
“How is he doing since Amber broke up with him?” Trisha inquired, letting a saddened expression take over her face. There was no doubt in Alyssa’s mind that Trisha loved her girls, but Zayn was her baby boy and he would always hold a special place in his mother’s heart.
“He… he seems to be doing okay. We, uh… we haven’t really been seeing a lot of each other lately. Harry and I… we’ve been hanging out a lot,” Alyssa explained, almost regretting bringing up Harry again – especially her and Harry.
“I am just so happy about that. You have no idea. I thought there was no hope with you two,” Trisha said, smiling over at Alyssa before she went back clicking through her computer.
“Mm,” Alyssa hummed lowly.
“Harry always wore his heart on his sleeve though. He was proper jealous of Zayn. Harry liked you so much,” Trisha said as she flipped through some of the papers in front of her, completely oblivious to what her words meant.
Alyssa let out a choked noise from the back of her throat as she stared at Trisha wide-eyed. How much did she actually know?
“Oh my goodness. I probably shouldn’t have said anything,” Trisha gasped, looking up at Alyssa as she put her hand over her mouth, knowing she just spilled a secret.
“What… what do you mean?” Alyssa pressed, wanting to know what she knew.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” she said again, waving her hand in the air.
“You… you knew Harry liked me?” Alyssa asked carefully.
“You know Harry liked you?” Trisha asked, her eyes wide. Apparently she didn’t know a whole lot, which was maybe a good thing.
“Uh… Zayn told me,” Alyssa lied, biting at her lip.
“Zayn knew?” Trisha questioned, looking at her oddly.
“Uh, he had a feeling,” Alyssa said quietly, feeling like she was digging herself into a hole.
“I had the same feeling. Both Zayn and Harry are very fond of you,” Trisha said, smiling sweetly.
“Zayn?” Alyssa questioned.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know about Zayn’s feelings…” Trisha countered, eyeing her skeptically.
“Zayn’s feelings?” Alyssa choked out, her cheeks flushing with the words.
Trisha hesitated. But Alyssa kept her questioning eye on her. She needed Trisha to elaborate. She needed it more than anything.
“Zayn has always had a thing for you,” Trisha continued as if it was basic knowledge or something.
“A thing?” Alyssa choked out. Her heart was beating so fast, she was certain it would beat straight out of her chest at any moment.
“Yes, Alyssa. He’s had a crush on you since he met you. A mother knows these things,” Trisha told her with a light laugh. Alyssa’s breathing grew heavy and her chest started to heave. Since he met you.
“He was always so shy about it,” Trisha continued, smiling sweetly as she thought back.
“He… he liked me? He likes me?” Alyssa choked out.
“Of course he does. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed all these years,” she chuckled, oblivious to Alyssa inner panic attack.
“But… but…” Alyssa stammered. Her head was spinning. Zayn liked her? She tried to swallow, but her throat and mouth were so dry.
“Are you okay, Alyssa?” Trisha asked, finally catching on to her crisis.
“But, Zayn… he’s always been so… mean…” Alyssa said more rhetorically than anything. She was thinking out loud and she couldn’t help it. Her brain was spiraling.
“I guess it’s true what they say – if a boy is mean to a girl, it usually means he likes her,” she chuckled pleasantly.
No. No, no, no. What the hell was going on? Alyssa felt like she left her body and was now replaced in a completely different world.
“But…” Alyssa was so confused.
“I guess the same went for Harry,” she tacked on with a shrug of her shoulders.
Trisha was off in her own little happy existence, whereas Alyssa was falling apart. Everything she thought she knew went right out the window. How? How did she not know this? How on earth could it be true? Zayn never led on to the fact that he might have feelings for her. He slept with her… but that was about it. Her crush on him was probably the only thing that kept her coming back. If it weren’t for that, she was sure she’d have given up on Zayn a long time ago because of how he treated her. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing.
“Oh, that must be Harry now,” Trisha said, standing up from her chair.
“Huh?” Alyssa questioned, watching as Trisha made her way out of the dining room.
Alyssa’s mind was so full of thoughts, she didn’t even heard the door. She was having an inner meltdown and now Harry was back. How the hell was she going to deal with this all?
“Harry, love. There’s someone here to see you,” Alyssa heard Trisha say from the foyer before they both appeared in the dining room doorway.
When Harry saw her, he froze in place. Her eyes met his as his raked over her. She was sick to her stomach. She felt absolutely terrible over the fact that Harry saw her in her weak moment with Zayn – pregnancy test in hand in the middle of the drug store. It was the last thing in the world she wanted to happen. He didn’t need another reminder that she used to sleep with his brother before him.
“She came to see you, the least you could do is say ‘hello’,” Trisha playfully scolded her step-son as Alyssa scrambled to her feet.
“Hello,” he said through gritted teeth, staring straight at Alyssa.
His eyes were not the bright, sparkling green loveliness he usually looked at her with, but rather dark, narrowed and angry. And it tore at Alyssa’s heart. She didn’t mean to make Harry feel that way. She just wanted to make everything better. She wanted to make him feel better more than anything.
“Hi,” Alyssa squeaked out feeling a new sense of panic rising in her chest.
“Go on,” Trisha shooed Alyssa. And she realized she’d been standing there saying and doing nothing for far too long. She took a deep breath before walking toward Harry, her gaze falling to the floor.
“You two are sure acting quite strange,” Trisha commented and it made Alyssa feel even more uncomfortable.
“C’mon,” Harry said lowly to Alyssa and took the opportunity to exit the dining room. She followed him straight up to his bedroom, staying quiet until he spoke.
“So, are you pregnant?” He asked, anger lacing his tone.
“No,” Alyssa said quietly, hanging her head as she stood awkwardly in the middle of his bedroom.
Harry was silent, but Alyssa could tell he was relieved just by the deep breath he took in.
“Why do you keep getting yourself into these situations with Zayn? It’s obvious he doesn’t care about you,” Harry snapped and her vision shot up to his. With the new information she just got from Trisha, she didn’t know what to believe anymore.
“Zayn is my best friend, Harry,” Alyssa said quietly.
“I could have been your best friend all those years, Alyssa. We could have been great friends,” Harry told her bitterly.
“I know,” she said sadly as she hung her head again.
“You let Zayn push me out. You let him push us all out. Me and Doniya – we were your friends too. You let Zayn cut us out,” Harry pressed on, getting angrier and angrier as he spoke.
“Harry, I know,” Alyssa growled.
Alyssa quickly thought back to their childhood. It wasn’t long after Harry’s thirteenth birthday when Zayn began to wedge out everyone from spending time with Alyssa. And she let it happen because she was so infatuated with him. It used to be the four of them hanging out all the time, sometimes Gemma as well, but it quickly turned into just the two of them more often than not.
“I really don’t want to go back to school on Monday. Why can’t winter break be like a month long? I hate school,” Zayn complained as he and Alyssa sat up in his room, hanging out together.
“I hate school too, but I’d rather get it over with in the winter and be able to have the whole summer off like we do,” she reasoned with him.
“Why does school have to take up most of the year anyway? Most of the rubbish we learn isn’t stuff we need to know for real life anyway. How many jobs out there have knowledge of algebra as a requirement?” Zayn asked with a scoff.
Alyssa shrugged her shoulders. She had no idea what the job ratio for the knowledge of algebra was.
“One. And you know what that is?” Zayn asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.
“What?” Alyssa questioned.
“An algebra teacher,” he scoffed, causing Alyssa to burst out laughing. The kid had a point.
A moment later, Zayn’s door swung open revealing Doniya, Gemma and Harry dressed in head-to-toe snow gear.
“You need to knock!” Zayn yelled at his siblings.
“Well, it’s not like you two are in here snogging or anything!” Doniya chuckled. Alyssa blushed, because she secretly hoped one day that would happen. She imagined it many times, but still no luck.
“Shut it! It’s still my room,” Zayn yelled at her.
“Fine, I’ll knock,” Doniya said, rolling her eyes as she theatrically knocked her knuckles against his opened door.
“Thank you,” Zayn sneered.
“We’re going to go make a snow fort. Wanna come help us?” Gemma asked both of them, smiling excitedly.
“Uh, nah,” Zayn said with a roll of his eyes. Alyssa looked at him oddly, thinking to herself how fun it would be. It had been a while since she allowed herself a good snow day.
“Alyssa?” Harry questioned, looking at her hopefully. Alyssa looked up at him for a moment before she felt Zayn’s eyes on her.
Zayn gave Alyssa a stern look, telling her without words to say no. She felt the butterflies erupt in her stomach at the thought of Zayn wanting her all to himself and she was completely okay with it.
“Uh, maybe another time. We’re uh… we’re kind of in the middle of a conversation right now,” Alyssa reluctantly told Harry as her cheeks blushed rapidly.
“Ahh, come on. It’ll be fun,” Harry whined.
“She said ‘no’,” Zayn told him with a little bit too much attitude, making Alyssa feel terrible. But still she didn’t say anything.
Alyssa could see the obvious looks of disappoint on all of their faces. She felt bad. She missed hanging out with them and Gemma was literally only in the States for another few days, but she was with Zayn – the boy she had a crush on for the better part of a year. He was her best friend and she wanted there to be a chance for them to become more – even if it was the slimmest chance in the world, she didn’t want to risk losing it.
Harry stood across his room staring at Alyssa, but he stayed quiet. His eyes weren’t as ominous as they were before, but she could still feel the anger radiating off of him.
“I can’t change the past, Harry. I can only move on from it,” she told him with a sigh.
“Move on from Zayn?” Harry questioned, quirking his eyebrow, still keeping up with his intimidating stare.
“He’s still my best friend. He’s still going to be in my life, Harry. That’s not going to change,” she told him firmly.
“I want to know why you’re so afraid to tell him about us,” Harry spat out, surprising the hell out of her.
Her stomach turned at the thought. She didn’t know why she was so reluctant. Maybe it was because she knew Zayn and Harry didn’t have the best relationship and she didn’t want to cause a rift between them. Maybe it was something else.
“Harry…” She breathed, feeling her heartbeat speed up.
“Are you embarrassed of me?” He asked as he quickly folded his arms across his chest.
“What? Harry. No, no, no,” she said quickly as she stepped forward, bridging the gap between them.
“Then what?” He asked, his eyes staring into hers.
“Harry, it’s just not the right time. Just please, give me time. Please. I am here, okay. I am here with you,” Alyssa said as she pulled his arms apart and cuddling up to his chest. Harry breathed in deeply as his arms tighten around her. She felt a surge of happiness from the one act.
“I just… I don’t want Zayn to come between us,” Harry said quietly.
“He won’t,” she promised, knowing her feelings for Harry were strong.
Harry held her in his arms for a few moments and she felt safe. She felt relaxed for the first time that day.
“Hey,” Harry said, trying to get Alyssa’s attention. She looked up to find his eyes already staring down into hers.
“You’re all I want. And these past couple of days… I just feel like… like you’ve been pulling away,” he stammered, pulling another deep breath into his lungs.
“I haven’t been pulling away. Zayn… he’s just been really… needy. Ever since Amber left him… I don’t know. And now with him thinking I have a boyfriend—Just… just know I’m in this, Harry,” Alyssa told him sincerely.
“Just… seeing you at the store buying that pregnancy test with him… I don’t know. It messed with my head,” he told her, looking more than a little distraught.
“There’s nothing to worry about. It was negative and I haven’t slept with him since… since that time. I promise,” she told him, feeling awkward and uncomfortable bringing up the time Harry caught them in bed together. Harry nodded his head, but Alyssa could feel how uncomfortable he was too.
“I, uh… I bought you that lotion,” Alyssa acknowledged, pulling the bottle out of the front pouch of her hoodie as she took a step back.
“Thanks,” he said with a sideways smile.
“I didn’t want you to… I don’t know… ruin your tattoo or something,” she told him with a shrug.
“I still have some. But yeah, I will need this,” he said with a chuckle as he walked over to his dresser and set the bottle down next the other bottle.
“I figured as much,” Alyssa said quietly.
“Thank you,” he told her again with a small smile as he walked back to her.
Leaning up, Alyssa planted a kiss on his lips. She wanted to know that everything was alright between them. She needed everything to be alright. And when she felt Harry kiss her back and quickly slip his tongue into her mouth, she knew they were going to be okay.
“I’ve missed you,” he breathed against her lips.
“I’ve missed you too,” she told him honestly.
“Will you… will you lay with me? I’m quite exhausted. Today has been… exhausting,” Harry asked, letting out a large breath. Alyssa nodded in response, feeling terrible because she knew she was a big part of making him feel that way.
The two of them crawled up onto the bed in each other’s arms. Alyssa squeezed him tightly before relaxing. She truly missed him and it felt good to be there with him again.
“You mean a lot to me, you know that right?” Harry breathed against her hair.
“I know,” she whispered, sucking in a breath before leaning up to kiss his lips. He kissed her back and she ran her fingers through his russet hair.
Their kisses progressed faster than she planned them to, but there was a hunger inside of her that could only be sated by Harry. She needed to know they were truly going to be okay. She wanted to feel the way he made her feel in that New York hotel room. She wanted to feel him.
She broke the kiss only to slip on top of him, straddling his hips. She quickly pulled her hoodie and t-shirt over her head in one fell swoop and looked down at him. The bright, sparkling loveliness was back in his green eyes and it made her smile, she could feel the happiness in her bones.
“I want you,” she breathed the words so quietly she was almost sure he didn’t hear her. But then she saw his smile and knew he did.
“Oh, Alyssa,” he sighed, sliding his hands up her bare back before pulling her down for another kiss.
“Do you think we can be quiet?” She asked, leaning down to whisper the words in his ear.
“I think we can try,” he cooed, smiling widely before he gripped her hips and flipped her onto her back on the mattress, quickly tugging on his shirt by the neck until it was off his body, discarded onto his bedroom floor.
Harry’s mouth came down against hers hard and she whimpered as pain skidded through her lips, but she didn’t stop. She kissed him back with just as much ferocity. His weight on top of her was almost blissful. She couldn’t believe how the day started and how she ended up right where she wanted to be.
“A condom… we need a condom,” Alyssa breathed between kisses.
“Yeah…” Harry said, pulling up, looking at her for a split second before he got out of the bed.
She wasn’t about to jinx herself after having a pregnancy scare. It would be just her luck.
As Harry dug in his dresser drawer, Alyssa took the opportunity to rid herself of the rest of her clothes. When he finally turned back around he almost had to do a double take, letting out a loud breath as he looked at her. She giggled as she watched him watch her.
“Am I dreaming or are you completely naked in my bed?” Harry asked quietly, a smile wide on his face.
“Come here,” Alyssa giggled, biting at her bottom lip.
“If this is a dream, don’t wake me up,” Harry groaned, collapsing on top of her on the bed.
Alyssa couldn’t help but laugh as he nuzzled his nose into her collarbone, before leaving a trail of kisses.
“My god. You are so beautiful,” he moaned against her skin.
“Mm,” she hummed, loving the way it felt to have someone really truly appreciate being in her arms.
Harry’s lips moved agonizingly slow as he kissed up and down her flesh, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Alyssa felt like her skin was electrified by his touch. She knew she was coming unglued with each passing second and she loved it. She thrived on it.
“Harry, please,” she begged mindlessly.
Her breathing hitched when she felt him press his hardness against her, his mouth sliding up the side of her neck, his breathing heavy in her ears. She wanted him. She needed him.
“Oh, god, Harry,” Alyssa moaned.
“You’re so beautiful, Alyssa,” he breathed in her ear.
Her lips met his in a hard, hurried kiss, trying to move him along without actually saying the words. Her fingers slipped down to find the button on his jeans, tugging them open. Their tongues tangled together in long hot kisses and Harry continued to tease with each clothed thrust against her.
“Please,” Alyssa moaned, her hand sliding inside his jeans, palming his hardness.
His breathing hitched and he bit down on her bottom lip, tugging it lightly with his teeth as he pulled up. He looked down into her eyes and she could see how wrecked he was for her. She knew neither of them would last much longer. She didn’t want to. She wanted to lose herself in him.
Alyssa pushed his tightly jeans and boxer briefs down his hips with the heels of her palms and he smiled down at her – half mischievous, half absolutely blissed-out.
“Condom,” Alyssa whispered, pushing him along.
Harry’s eyes flicked to the bed right next to her where the condom lay and he sat back on his haunches. He was so beautiful. All muscle and man – all hers. Alyssa reached up, sliding her fingers down his abs before wrapping them around his hardness. As he grabbed the condom and began to open it, Alyssa began pumping him in her hand.
“Ah, fuck,” he breathed, letting his eyes close for a moment, appreciating her quiet ministration. Alyssa watched as he bit his lip and it made her happy to be feeding him such pleasure.
When his eyes opened back up, she saw the fire in them. He was absolutely ready, ripping into the condom as if his life depended on it. She watched as he slid it down his shaft, pinching the tip to ensure a proper suction around the head. It was so sexy watching him, it made her insides clench with need.
Harry quickly kicked the rest of the way out of his jeans and boxer briefs before he gripped onto Alyssa’s legs, throwing them around his hips as he pressed forward once again, lining himself up with her.
“I love you, Alyssa,” he breathed, sliding inside of her before she even had the chance to process his words and the feelings that lay behind them.
Alyssa let out a loud breath as he sunk into her, tears forming in the backs of her eyes as pleasurable sensations flooded every single one of her senses. Harry buried his face into the crook of her neck as his lower half started a pleasing rhythm against her, taking her further and further down with him. Her fingertips dug into his flesh as the pleasure continued to snowball inside of her. She wanted to cry out, or moan, or something – anything to let him know just how good he made her feel, but she knew Trisha was just down the stairs in the dining room making it an impossible feat.
Harry kept up his rhythm, slow at first – enough to work Alyssa into a frenzy. And when her hips began to move against his, silently begging for more, he picked up the pace, leaving her gasping for breath. His quiet grunts in her ear were savage and so incredibly sexy. She wanted more and more of him. She needed him even worse.
“Keep… going…” Alyssa gasped with each word.
And somehow, Harry sped up even more, pushing and pulling at breakneck speeds, ensuring her complete and utter demise.
Alyssa wasn’t even breathing anymore. She was just sucking in short, sharp breaths, filling her brain with too much oxygen to the point that she felt dizzy. And then it hit her, an explosion deep inside of her – pleasure engulfing her entire body. Her grasp tightened around him as her body stiffened underneath him, her toes curling against the back of his legs. She was crashing like waves, over and over until she was completely drained.
Her body relaxed against the mattress again as Harry lessened his speed, but not by much. With each new thrust, she felt another wave of pleasure – again and again, until his body stilled, tensing above her. With one last groan, he collapsed against her, completely spent – a thin layer of sweat encompassing his whole body.
The two of them lay in each other’s arms for quite a while, until their ragged breathing finally evening out.
“Do you think we were quiet enough?” Alyssa asked, finally breaking the silence.
She felt his laugh against her chest before she heard it and she couldn’t help but laugh too. Harry rolled off of her onto his back, letting out a huge breath.
“You are something else, Alyssa,” he said, smiling fondly at her.
“Mm,” she hummed, leaning over to kiss him.
Harry was the first to get up out of the bed, removing the condom and replacing his boxer briefs back on his body. Alyssa watched as he walked over to his dresser and started to smear a glob of lotion all over his newest tattoo – the massive butterfly on his stomach.
“Did my sex dry out your tattoo?” Alyssa joked, turning up a cheesy smile at him. He turned around to send her his own smile and a shake of his head.
“What? You think I’m funny,” she laughed to herself.
“Nah. I just… I haven’t done it in a while. It needs it. I spent a lot of money on it and I don’t want it to fade,” Harry told her as he continued to rub the lotion into his skin.
The two of them were broken out of the moment by a quick knock on Harry’s door before it quickly opened up without warning. Alyssa didn’t even have time to react, to cover herself before she heard Zayn calling out Harry’s name. Confusion spilled over Alyssa as she and Harry both looked up to see Zayn standing in the doorway. And it only took a split second for Zayn to find Alyssa laying naked in Harry’s bed.
“Alyssa!?” Zayn choked out, his eyes wide with disbelief.
“Zayn,” she gasped as she scrambled to pull the blanket she was laying on over her body.
She couldn’t even breathe as a panic attack fully engulfed her, knowing that once and for all, their secret was out.