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You + Me + Him

20: The one with the scare...

Spring 2016

“Where is it? Where is it?” Alyssa mumbled under her breath as she desperately searched for her small pocket calendar.

God. Who kept a paper calendar anymore? Note to self: store your information in your cell phone, you idiot, Alyssa thought to herself.

Ugh,” she growled as she pulled out all the drawers in her desk, searching for the small book which had the information she needed. She could feel her heart rate increasing with each second spent stressing over the mess she got herself in. Not again. Not fucking again.

.

Early 2012

For someone who was smart Alyssa Rossi could be incredibly stupid. Her stupidity heightened when she was in Zayn’s presence. And she couldn’t really blame Zayn – it would be like blaming him for being born. She was stupid because she let him have this control over her – this hold. Zayn walked on water in her eyes and there wasn’t really anything that could change her opinion about it. She was stupid – so stupid when it came to Zayn.

She was stupid for loving him. She was stupid for having sex with him. But the stupidest thing she did by far was agreeing to let him “pull out” when they decided to have sex in the back of his car. It wasn’t even good sex. It was winter for fucks sake. It was uncomfortable and cold and it wasn’t enjoyable. But Zayn wanted to have sex and his mom and Des were home at the time, so he got the dumb idea of cranking up the heat in his car so they could fornicate.

Shit. She was stupid. So fucking stupid. Her period was five days late and her period was never late. She was seventeen years old – a senior in high school and she was about to become the biggest walking cliché in history. Teen Mom.

Checking her pocket calendar again, she found the date of her last period – which she always recorded. January 6th. It was now February 9th. If she went by her flawless twenty-eight day cycle, she was most definitely late. And she was most definitely in deep shit.

Alyssa pulled out her cell phone, immediately typing a text message to Zayn.

Alyssa: We need to talk.

She stared at it for a few moments before sending it. She didn’t know if she was ready to enlighten Zayn about their current predicament, but she knew she needed to talk to someone about it and he was her best friend.

Zayn: Alright. What’s up?

Alyssa: In person.

Zayn: What?

Damn it, was he seriously that clueless?

Alyssa: We need to talk IN PERSON.

Her annoyance was shining through, but she couldn’t be sure if it translated well through the text. Either way, she didn’t care.

Zayn: Okay. Come over.

Alyssa quickly pulled her winter jacket and boots on right before she left the house. The bitter cold stung her in all the wrong places – which was every place. She hated winter and on this particular day when nothing was going right, she hated it even more. Grumbling, she put on her hat and mittens as she trudged down the street to Zayn’s house.

Zayn met her outside wearing his mouth-watering black pea coat. God. She loved that coat on him.

“What’s going on?” He asked with a sly smirk on his face, but her hardened expression never faltered.

“Lyss, what?” He asked as his smirk faded.

“Remember that night… in your car?” She asked, quirking her eyebrow at him.

“What night?” He asked and Alyssa took a deep breath, trying to refrain from snapping at him.

“That night… the night in your car, Zayn,” she pressed.

“Oh. Uh, yeah,” he said, looking at her confused.

“Remember how you forgot to bring a condom?” She asked, trying to enlighten him. Zayn paused, looking at her skeptically.

“Alyssa…” He said quietly, his eyes searching hers.

She was almost certain their brains were finally syncing up. Zayn wasn’t as clueless as he wanted everyone to think he was. He got things when it mattered.

Alyssa fell silent and glared in his direction.

“Alyssa,” his tone came out more demanding.

“Zayn,” she said his name sarcastically back at him.

She didn’t even know why she was taking it out on him when she was just as much to blame. She was just in a terrible mood over it.

“Just fucking say it,” he shot at her.

“My period is five days late,” she blurted out.

Zayn closed his eyes and took a deep breath before running his fingers through his hair.

“You’re sure?” He asked.

“I know my body, Zayn,” she snapped.

“You’re guessing? Or you actually know?” He asked, eyeing her.

“I know,” she said firmly.

“You know your period is late? Or you know you’re… that you’re…” He stammered. God. He couldn’t even say it.

“I know my period is late,” she confirmed. That information sent a look of relief across Zayn’s face.

“Don’t get too happy. Ignorance isn’t always bliss, Zayn,” Alyssa told him sharply.

“So then, we take a test,” he said and she nodded.

“Let’s… let’s go right now. I’ll have Harry watch Safaa,” Zayn said and Alyssa nodded again.

“Here. Go wait in the car,” Zayn said, handing her his keys while he ran back inside.

Alyssa bit at her nails as she waited in the passenger seat of Zayn’s Honda Civic. Her mind was racing. Her stomach was upset. Her nerves were shot. She was stressed beyond belief.

Zayn insisted on driving to a town two over to pick up a pregnancy test. He didn’t want anyone his parents knew to see them and risk the information getting leaked to them.

“Do you want me to be in there with you?” Zayn asked as they walked toward the bathroom of the drug store.

“No,” Alyssa said quietly.

She did not need Zayn in the bathroom watching her pee on a stick. Screw that.

“I’ll be right outside, Lyss,” Zayn said and Alyssa nodded, proceeding into the small bathroom.

Once the test was saturated, she placed it on the sink basin and sank to the floor against the wall. She didn’t even care that it was a public restroom and she was sitting in filth. She was distressed and she could barely breathe thinking about how that white magic stick could make or break her. She loved Zayn with every fiber of her being, but she didn’t want a baby to be the thing that cemented her to him. She wanted him to love her for her, not for carrying his child.

After a good solid five minutes of silently crying on the bathroom floor, Alyssa pulled herself up and walked slowly to the sink to see her fate. Taking a deep breath in, she looked down at the applicator to see one pink line.

Shit. What did one pink line mean? Maybe she should have distracted herself by reading the directions of the test. She quickly removed the sheet of directions from the cardboard box and ripped them open. Quickly, she began skimming through the page.

One pink line meant not pregnant. Oh, hallelujah!

The sense of relief that flooded her took her breath away. Grabbing up everything having to do with the pregnancy test, she buried it deep within the confines of the garbage can and then washed her hands with a smile on her face.

She pulled open the bathroom door and found Zayn’s distraught face.

“You’re… you’re smiling,” he pointed out.

“It was negative,” she told him.

“Oh, thank god!” He said and wrapped his arms around Alyssa in a hug.

“Can you imagine us being parents? God. We’re not even together,” he said, acting as if the two of them sharing something remotely close to a relationship was just the worst thing ever.

“Yeah,” Alyssa said, pulling away from him, her smile fading.

“Let’s go celebrate or something,” he said, smiling widely.

“Just… just bring me home, Zayn,” Alyssa told him.

“I thought you were happy about this,” he said, noticing her sudden mood change.

“I am. Just bring me home,” she said, walking toward the front of the store.

.

Oh, sweet success! The black planner was located behind her nightstand. Note to self: clean my room more often, she thought.

Flipping through the book, she found the previous monthand began to look up her last period.

Oh, good god.

She was over a week and a half late. What in the fuck? A wave of nausea crept over her, which only fueled the pregnancy related thoughts in her head. What the hell was she doing with her life? Why did she let Zayn have this god damn control over her for so long? She wasn’t invincible. Not even birth control could make her invincible.

After silently fretting over the possibility of having a baby with Zayn – a man she loved, but desperately needed to get over – she walked out of her room to find him.

Things with her and Zayn were weird. When she got back from New York, it was almost as if Zayn wouldn’t leave her alone. It was like he was determined to get her to confess about her boyfriend. He was doing everything in his power to get her to hang around the house with him or go out with him, rather than her going out with ‘other friends’. She and Harry barely saw one another in the three days they’d been back.

Zayn was sitting in the living room playing some sort of military-style shooting game on his Xbox.

“Hey,” he said, not taking his eyes away from the screen.

“Hey,” she said back, sitting down next to him on the couch.

“Me and Louis are dominating these fools,” he said as Alyssa noticed the Xbox headset strapped to his ear, which could only mean his internet buddy Louis was on the other end. Alyssa looked up to see the screen flash with gun fire.

“Cool,” she said quietly.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, taking his eyes off the screen momentarily to look at her before they flickered back to the game.

“Can we talk?” She asked carefully.

“Yeah. Yeah. Uh, just… uh, we’re almost done. AH, YEAH. We won, mate!” Zayn said – the last part of it intended for Louis.

“Lou, I’ve gotta go. Give ‘em hell for me,” Zayn said before he took off the headset and set down the controller.

“What’s going on?” He asked. Alyssa was staring down at her fingernails, picking at the chipping polish.

“Alyssa…” He said to get her attention.

“I have something to talk to you about,” she said, looking back up at him.

“Are you finally confessing about your boyfriend?” He asked with a look of hesitation in his eyes.

“No,” she said quietly and let her vision fall back to her nails.

“What’s going on?” He asked, sounding concerned.

“It happened again,” Alyssa said cryptically.

“What happened?” Zayn asked.

“My period… it’s late,” she said quietly.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes widening.

“Zayn. I’m sure,” she snapped, annoyance hitting her as she watched him.

“Okay. Jeez,” he hissed. Her vision settled on the wall across the room. Honestly, looking at him was not even an option anymore, being as it made her feel nauseous over the fact that they were going through this again, now as adults.

“And you’re sure it would be mine if you were…” He asked carefully.

“Yes,” she growled, clenching her teeth. Who the hell did he think she was?

“Not your boyfriends?” He pressed and she could feel his eyes on her.

“Seriously, Zayn. Shut the fuck up,” she snapped as she stood up quickly.

Yeah, she and Harry had sex. But it was only three days before. Her period was already late by that time. Oh, god. She had sex with Harry when she could be carrying Zayn’s child. Oh, god. What was she doing with her life? She felt sick to her stomach.

“Alyssa,” Zayn said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back onto the couch. She took a deep breath, still unable to look at him.

“We can get a test. You’re on birth control, aren’t you?” He asked, sounding hopeful.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.

“So, what makes you think you’re pregnant, besides your period being late?” He asked, squeezing her hand.

She looked down at her hand in his and it felt almost foreign to her. She’d been with Harry for the past month and it definitely pushed Zayn back to the darkest depths of her mind.

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

“Have you been stressed lately? I’ve heard stress can throw off your… period,” he offered.

Sneaking around with a secret boyfriend that just so happened to be the step-brother of her best friend who just so happened to be the boy she’d been in love with for nine years seemed to get a little stressful at times. So, yes.

“I guess,” she said quietly.

“Well, why don’t we go get a test and you can take it. We’ve beaten this before, we can beat it again,” he said, sounding optimistic as he patted the top of her hand.

“This isn’t a game, Zayn,” Alyssa growled through clenched teeth.

“Okay. I could have phrased that better,” he said as he stood up, looking down at her.

“You think?” She asked sarcastically.

The drive to the store was silent. Zayn didn’t bother driving to another town this time. He just drove them to the nearest drug store right in town. It made Alyssa feel a bit naked, like her life was on display for anyone to see.

“You know, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing, Alyssa,” Zayn said as he parked the car.

“What?” She asked, snapping her head to look over at him. Did he really just fucking say that?

“You being pregnant,” he said with a shrug. What? She could only glare at him.

“What?” He chuckled, looking over at her.

“Are you high?” She asked, looking at him oddly.

“What?” He laughed amusingly.

“You continue to baffle me, Zayn. I have never been able to understand you,” she said, shaking her head as she pushed open the car door.

The two of them walked quickly into the store. Alyssa was on a mission to get the test and get the fuck out of there. This time she was going to take it in the confines of her own bathroom so she could fall apart on a clean floor. Zayn trailed behind her as she reached the aisle. She pulled the first pregnancy test off the shelf and started walking back in the direction she came.

“Zayn?” They heard.

Alyssa’s heart plummeted. She looked up to see Zayn turn in the direction of his brother’s voice. Harry was standing right there in front of them.

“Hey, mate,” Zayn chuckled nervously.

Alyssa froze. She wanted to run and hide, but she knew she would never get away with it. Harry’s eyes met hers and she could tell he was questioning in his head why she and Zayn would be there together when he knew their relationship was a little off these days. Before Alyssa had a chance to move or say anything, Harry’s eyes fell to the box that was gripped in her hand – the pregnancy test. His eyes widened before he looked back into Alyssa’s.

“What are you doing here?” Zayn asked him.

“Uh, picking up some lotion for my tattoo,” Harry said, holding up the bottle of Aquaphor.

“Oh,” Zayn said with a knowing nod. He had plenty of tattoos covering his own body. He knew what was up.

“I just remembered I have some at home. I’ll see you later,” Harry said through clenched teeth as he put the bottle on the nearest shelf before making a beeline straight toward the exit. He was upset. Alyssa could tell immediately.

“What the fuck?” Zayn grumbled, watching his brother bolt away from them.

“Harry!” Alyssa shouted, finally making a move. She pushed past Zayn only to watch Harry leave the store.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“What the hell was that about?” Zayn asked confused.

“He must have had some at home,” Alyssa grumbled, grabbing the bottle of lotion as she moved toward the cash register. This was bad. This was really bad.

Alyssa paid for the lotion and the pregnancy test and headed for the door.

“Why did you buy the lotion?” Zayn asked her curiously.

“What if he doesn’t have lotion at home? Do you want his tattoo to dry up and fade?” Alyssa asked dramatically. Zayn shook his head, still looking confused but taking her answer at face value.

On the way back to the condo Alyssa sent Harry a bunch of texts that never got a reply back. Her stress level elevated tenfold.

“I guess I’ll just wait out here,” Zayn called out to Alyssa as she slammed the bathroom door behind her.

Yeah, you will, she thought to herself.

At that point, Alyssa wasn’t even concerned with the pregnancy. She was more concerned with what Harry was thinking about the whole situation. As she waited for the test results, she tried calling his phone. Each and every time it went to voicemail. He was screening her calls. He was angry and he didn’t want to speak to her. Fuck.

Pulling herself off the toilet where she sat on the lid, she grabbed up the test from the counter. A blue negative. A negative was a negative, right?

Consulting the directions - yes, a negative was a negative. Good God. This needed to end. She was never going to have sex without a condom ever again. She didn’t give a shit if she was on birth control. She was done with the pregnancy scare bullshit.

Alyssa quickly opened the bathroom door and saw Zayn was still standing there – giving her a flashback to the last time when she came out of the drug store bathroom.

“Negative,” she said quickly and he nodded. She couldn’t really tell if he was relieved or disappointed. Either way, she didn’t have time to debate it in her head.

“I’ve got to go,” Alyssa said, turning down the hallway.

“Where are you going?” He asked quickly.

“I’ve just got to get out of here for a while,” she called back to him.

Lyss,” he said impatiently.

“Zayn, I don’t want to talk right now,” she said, waving him off as she went down the stairs to the front door.

“When can we talk?” He called after her.

“Later,” she said vaguely as she went out the door. She needed to go see Harry.

Notes


Had to use that gif... haha, sorry. SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!

Comments

@Kath85

Thank youuuu!

lisavslisa lisavslisa
7/30/18

Yeaaah!! Team Harry!! Such a sweet story!

Kath85 Kath85
7/30/18

@TessBeBe

Thank you!!!

lisavslisa lisavslisa
6/29/17

I love this one (:

TessLove TessLove
6/29/17