Charlotte’s P.O.V.
*One Week Later November 19, 2012*
I was being released from the hospital today. I still have to check in everyday with them, but all I wanted to do was get out of there so they agreed to let me stay at my apartment. Apparently I have one. But I don’t remember. Obviously. My mom had flown out two days ago and had been staying at my apartment so she was coming to take be back there. I was just finishing changing into a pair of sweats and a hoodie when she walked in.
“Hey Mom.”
“Hey sweetie, ready to go?” She asked.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I said. She chuckled and started to walk out the door. I grabbed all of my other things (book, iPod) and then followed her. She held her hand out and I instantly grabbed it, glad for her support. Together we walked out of the hospital.
The wind blew my hair about my face and I was glad for the hoodie because it was very cold. There was a car waiting for us and we quickly hopped in, glad to be out of the wind. But my smile instantly faded when I saw who was driving. Niall. He looked back at me with a small smile; I could tell he was still hesitant around me, as I was to him.
“Hello Charlotte. Excited to be leaving the hospital?” He asked in a strained yet formal voice. He was completely formal and polite when talking to me, I think I scared him when I snapped at him for calling me Char.
“Hello Niall.” I replied. I gave him a small smile which he returned, but I could tell that he wasn’t putting anything into the smile, his face looked sad and like he was in pain, which I felt bad for doing to him. He nodded and turned back around.
Niall pulled the car off the curb and started to drive. It was completely silent for the first minute of the drive. I was going insane from the silence, I need music or a conversation and right now, I want music more. I was just about to ask Niall to turn on the radio when he reached over and turned the volume up. He smiled back at me and I smiled back at him. How did he know?
“Sorry, I should’ve playing from the start, I know how much you hate not having music.” He said and my mouth opened in surprise. How did he know?
“Wow, thanks Niall.” I replied and he nodded and looked back at the road. The song ended and a new one came on.
Well I woke up to the sound of silence
The cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight
And I found you with a bottle of wine
Your head in the curtains
And heart like the fourth of July
Immediately Niall’s eyes flickered to my face in the mirror and my mom glanced at me. I wondered why they were acting like that. I hummed to the song until it got to the chorus. Niall’s eyes were still flickering between the road and my face. I closed my eyes as my head began to spin. It felt like my brain was working in overdrive. My brain was trying to tell me something. This song, why is this song so triggering? I closed my eyes, but instead of seeing darkness I saw a park.
Hundreds of girls and a few guys were surrounding a stage. There was singing, but not just any singing, my singing. I quickly pushed my way to the front of the crowd and looked up at myself, guitar in hand, singing Carry On. One Direction was sitting behind me, Niall was the closest and he was looking at me (the me on the stage) with adoration, and pride and love and sadness and happiness all at the same time. I was singing my heart out and the crowd was cheering for me. I blinked and the world blurred, I could tell I was now in a van, but it felt like I was looking at the scene through water.
I think I was talking to one of the boys, and then to all of them. They all looked like they were staring at me, and I didn’t know why. The world blurred again and it was even harder to see now. I could tell someone was walking into a shop, I followed them but the vision kept getting worse. I blinked and found myself standing in a room. I could barely make out what was happening. It looked like two people were sitting down, one was bent over the others…arm? And a third person was standing and looked like they were holding the other persons hand. There was a burning sensation in my arm and my eyes bolted open.
I was in the car with Niall and my mom again. They were both looking at me with concern; we were at a red light. I quickly yanked the sweatshirt up to my elbow on my left arm and stared at my forearm. I had discovered that I had a new tattoo a few hours after I woke up. Even though I didn’t remember getting it I knew it was important and was glad I got it. It reminded me of my dad and my motto: Carry On. Plus, it always had been on my bucket list.
I kept staring at my arm, remembering what I had just seen. Did I just see myself getting this tattoo? Was that my memory? Was that real? Somehow I knew it was. I could still see the blurry memory in my mind.
“Niall? Were you with me when I got this?” I asked, tracing the tattoo with my fingers.
“Yeah, yeah I was.” He replied. The car gently rolled forward as the light changed.
“Were we in a park before?” I asked. His eyes grew wide and he glanced at me in the mirror.
“Um, yeah, all of the lads and you. We were—” I cut him off.
“You were having a concert, right?” I asked, still not certain.
“Uh, yeah. Did you…?” He asked, confused. I knew he was asking if I had remembered something.
“I dunno, the song just made my memory resurface again, but its really fuzzy. But did I really sing?”
“Yeah, you did. You sang Hall of Fame and Carry On.” I said Carry On at the same time as him and he looked at me with a smile. “Yeah.”
“I don’t know how that happened.”
“The doctor did say to try and show you some things that were big parts of your lost memory, this song might have had enough significance to you to trigger a memory.” My mom said.
“Wait, so I might get my memory back?!” I asked excitedly.
“Well, it depends, you may only remember a few things, or you could possibly regain most of your memories, but the doctor said the chances of that happening are very slim.”
“Well, the doctor said I only had a 10% chance of surviving the surgery and I did. It took a while, but I did. So maybe slim chances are in my favor.” I said and my mom smiled at me. Niall was in the front seat smiling with a true smile for the first time since I had met him. At least that I remember.
The car came to a stop and we all got out of the car. There were two big buildings in front of me. “Which one?” I asked.
“This one.” My mom said as she started walking towards the one on the left.
“Uh, I think I’m just going to let you get settled in again.” Niall called out to us.
“Of course, I understand. Thank you for driving us home, we’ll talk later?” She said and Niall nodded. Mom started to walk again.
“Thank you for the ride.” He nodded, his face had turned back into the sad and painful one. “And I’m sorry.” I ran away before he could respond. He knew what I meant. I was sorry I forgot him, I was sorry I didn’t remember him. I was sorry for the pain I was causing him. My mom was already waiting in the elevator so I didn’t really get to look around the lobby, but for the few seconds I saw it, it looked nice.
We headed out of the elevator on the fifth floor and walked to a door. My mom opened it and I was rather shocked at the apartment I was supposedly living in. Yet I knew I lived there. My pictures were plastered all over the walls, there was a blender on the counter, harry potter blankets on the couch, and a huge stack of movies. I looked around for a bit, but nothing besides pictures seemed familiar to me. My mom had already headed to bed and I decided to do the same.
I had just finished changing into my PJ’s when my eyes focused in on two pictures on my nightstand. The first one I saw was of me and Niall. It was the one of him kissing my cheek. The picture rang a slight bell, but all I felt where chills all along my body and on my cheek. I blinked and moved on to the next picture. It was of me and Kylie. The last picture we had together. Seeing her opened fresh wounds in my heart. Although I knew it had been months since she died, to me it still felt like it was only a week ago. A tear dropped from my eye. I wiped it away, grabbed the picture and hopped in bed. I fell asleep cuddling it. I missed her. She would know exactly what to say right now.

*The Next Day November 20, 2012*
I woke up at 5. I barely slept. I didn’t want to stay in bed so I got up to go for a walk. I quickly grabbed my phone and my pink headphones. I put on a pair of gray sweats, a white and blue sweater over my tank top, and gray uggs. I grabbed a pair of pink sunglasses, and a water bottle. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=85639340 I quietly walked out of the apartment after grabbing my keys.
I felt like walking so I took the stairs. I was about to head down when I saw a sign that said “Roof Access” and an arrow pointing up. I decided to try my luck. I headed all the way up to the top and climbed up a ladder and amazingly the roof was open. I walked near the edge and lay down. I plugged in my music, pressed shuffle, closed my eyes and just let the music soothe me.
I was there for about a half hour until I was aware of someone sitting down next to me. I was afraid it was Niall. But it wasn’t. It was Zayn. I took off my headphones and sat up. He had his hands wrapped around his knees and I copied him. We didn’t say anything for a minute.
“I’ve never been up here before. It’s beautiful.” He said.
“Ya it really is. London is just beautiful in general.” I replied. We sat in silence again, but it was a completely comfortable silence. After a while he spoke again.
“I know this is hard for you.” He turned to look at me. “But we are all here for you. Whether or not you regain your memory.” I smiled.
“Thanks. Its just so frustrating, trying to imagine myself with this life. Never in a million years would I have imagined this would happen to me, not just the cancer, but who I hang out with.” He grimaced.
“I understand, take your time in trying to remember, but if not, we are still your friends. Especially Niall.” I sighed when he said Niall.
“Can I be honest?”
“’Course.”
“I’m scared of him. Scared of the pictures that show me being probably the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m scared of how much it looks like he loved me…of how much it looks like I loved him.” He was silent for a minute.
“That shouldn’t scare you. You and Niall had something special, you fit together perfectly, but I know that if you are too scared to try for that type of relationship again, Niall will be anything you need. A best friend, a friend, or a boyfriend. He will do anything to be in your life, but if it isn’t as a boyfriend he will find a way to still be in it. He won’t date anyone else, won’t look at another girl. Just be there for you. He told you he loved you right before you went into surgery, and he will love you for the rest of his life.” Zayn ended his speech. I didn’t know what to say.
“Whenever I look at him, or touch him, or talk to him, I always get butterflies in my stomach, and a warm feeling. But that is just my body remembering the past, not my brain. It’s just so confusing.” I said.
“You’ll figure it out.” He slowly got up.
“One more question?” He nodded. “Why don’t you smell like smoke? You smoke don’t you?” He smiled.
“Not anymore. I quit.”
“Oh that’s great! What made you quit?”
“You did. You never liked how I smoked, because you have cancer, and I was giving myself the potential to have it in the future. I quit for you.” I blinked and my mouth was slightly open. He smirked and started to walk back towards the door.
I spent a few more hours up there, listening to music and thinking. I was just about to head down when I saw someone slowly approaching me. It was Niall. He looked hesitant but I nodded him over. He slowly came and sat down next to me.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” He said.
“Niall?” He looked at me. “I’m sorry for making this so hard on you. I can’t imagine how you feel, and I just…I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yes it is!! It’s my brain that forgot our relationship and thus ruined it. It’s my fault we are so awkward around each other. It’s all my fault.”
“Charlotte?” I looked at him. “What happened happened. Now we just have to learn to work around it. You can’t change it, you might be able to help gain the memories back, but you can’t change it. Yes, this is going to be hard for both of us, but we have to learn to work around it.”
“I can see why I love you.” I smiled. Niall just blinked and looked back out at the sky. After a minute he spoke.
“Can I show you something?” He stood up and offered his hand. I nodded and grabbed it. He helped me up. Our hands were still together. I didn’t let go of it. He smiled and we started to walk towards the door.
Once we were out of the building we got in his car and drove a few minutes away. We parked on a hill overlooking the city. It was surrounded by trees so there was a lot of privacy. Niall brought out a blanket and spread it across the grass. We both sat down on it and looked at the view.
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked.
“Can I show you something before I answer?” He asked and I nodded, very confused. He smiles, sprang up and went back to the car. I turned my head to look back at the view. It was completely stunning. I felt Niall sit back down next to me, only now he had a guitar in his hand. I smiled and cocked my head. He just faced me and started to strum. I didn’t recognize the tune at first, but then it hit me. And that wasn’t the only thing that hit me.
Settle down with me
Cover me up
Cuddle me in
Lie down with me
Hold me in your arms
A blur, of this park at night. Niall and I were sitting together. He brought out a guitar and started to play the same song. Flash forward, same night, but the song was ending.

Your heart's against my chest
Lips pressed to my neck
I've fallen for your eyes
But they don't know me yet
We were whispering to each other, our faces close, and then our lips met. Even though I was just watching I still felt the fire of how perfect it felt, on my lips, arms, in my stomach.
And the feeling I forget
I'm in love now
Flash forward, we were all sitting in an apartment, everyone was there, all the boys, and three girls I recognized as Perrie, Eleanor, and Danielle. There were unwrapped dpresents everywhere and I was the one opening them. Niall handed me a present and I smiled at him. I watched myself tear it open and saw the picture frame that was on my nightstand of us two. I looked so happy to receive it and Niall looked so happy too. I reached in again and pulled out a necklace. I got closer to see what it said. Niall and beneath that June 22 2013. I vaguely remember that necklace being taken off of me at the hospital when I was half asleep.
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Flash forward. I was in a hospital bed getting chemo. I was intently watching the TV. Niall and the boys were on it having an interview. I watched as Niall announced that he was dating me. I saw myself smile wide and felt how happy I was at that moment.
This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love
Flash forward. It was the same night but I was asleep in the hospital bed. I was thrashing back and forth and I knew the exact nightmare I was having. It was about Kylie. I sqaw myself scratching my hand and blood came out. Then Harry came. He just sat there and hugged me, calming me down. I remembered how safe I felt now that someone was with me.
Settle down with me
And I'll be your safety
You'll be my lady
Niall and I were curled up on my couch watching movies. We sat there watching countless movies and it just felt so perfect. So comfortable.
I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as, the wind blows
So hold me in your arms
Flash forward. Niall was meeting my parents. I saw the whole exchange and instantly knew my parents loved him. Niall had seemed nervous but after a few minutes he relaxed.
My heart's against your chest
Your lips pressed to my neck
I've fallen for your eyes
But they don't know me yet
Mom, Bri and I were sitting in a doctor’s office as the doctor told me I only had two months to live. I remember not feeling shock, or sadness. I felt peace. I had known I wasn’t going to last much longer and was ready to die. The only thing I was upset about was Niall.
And the feeling I forget
I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
I saw myself sitting in my living room with all the guys and their girlfriends. I explained my cancer, took off my wig and showed them the bruises and scars. Niall was crying on the floor next to me and it broke my heart to see him like that.
This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love

Yeah I've been feeling everything
From hate to love
From love to lust
From lust to truth
I guess that's how I know you
I was in a plane, about to jump from it. I knew Niall had done this for me and I was so excited. I jumped and the feeling of being weightless dawned on me. It felt so amazing to be free falling.
So hold you close
To help you give it up

So kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
I was at a café with Niall and I couldn’t breathe. Niall reacted quickly, called Zayn and picked me up. I could feel how helpless I felt and saw how helpless he felt. When Zayn came he practically jumped into the car as it was going. I saw them at the hospital, I saw Niall fighting against the doctor to be able to see me and Zayn trying to hold him back, saying I was in good hands.
This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love
Niall and I were saying our goodbyes as I was about to go into surgery. I watched as we said our goodbyes, as we confessed that we loved each other. I felt in my heart how much I loved him. It hurt to say goodbye.
So kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved

This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love
Every memory I had missed came flooding back to me while Niall was singing. He finished the song and I looked at him with new eyes. There were tears in my eyes. I remembered how much I loved Niall. I remembered every little thing we had ever done.
“Niall. I love you.” I said as he finished playing, He set the guitar down next to him and looked at me. “I love your accent, I love how well you got on with my parents and Bri, I love how you understood why I didn’t tell you, I love the sound you make when I kiss you, I love how you whisper in my ear. I love your voice, I love how you asked me out in this exact spot with that exact song. And I love you.” I said. Niall had shock in his eyes but it quickly changed into pure happiness.”
“You remember?” He asked incredulously.
“Every last bit. Now Kiss Me.” Again, ironic because he just sang that.
He didn’t hesitate. Our lips smashed together in a whirlwind of absolute lust, love, passion and love. Fireworks exploded ten times brighter than normal in my body, I felt so happy at this moment, and nothing could ruin it. I had Niall back, and Niall had me.

Notes

Okay guys, the only reason this is so late is because my original friggin account wont let me log back in. So, i will be posting the last two chapters on here, and i will keep trying to get my original account to work. If it ever does i will post these cahpters there too so the story can be completed. So sorry for those who won't get to finish the story because they didn't see my comment.
Anyways... THIS CHAPTER WAS 10 PAGES LONG I kept adding and changing becasue i had so much more time than i usually did! Hope you enjoy!!