Over Again
Chapter 47
Chapter forty-seven
Beep, beep, beep.
The sound of machinery monitoring my every living moment greeted me as the drugs began to wear off and I woke up, panicked. I was still in pain, and consciousness seemed like a looming curse. I gasped for breath, but even that hurt, and began search for some sort of pager so I could call a nurse in. Utensils clambered to the floor as I felt around blindly, my hand entangling in the wires that were strapped into my body. A nurse walking by casually peered in my room, obviously just doing her rounds, but was startled by the commotion I was causing. She immediately did a double take, striding through the door.
“Doctor!” She bellowed before running to my side. “What is it, what’s wrong?” She asked hurriedly. I pointed to my stomach and she pulled back the blanket that was covering me. There was blood again. Lots of blood. “Oh, shit.” The nurse cursed under her breath. She smacked a speaker button on the wall. “Send a doctor to room 339 immediately, it’s urgent.” Her eyes were wild, and my stress was building. “It’s okay hun, try and relax for me.” She told me. Hypocritical since she was barely keeping it together. Weren’t they trained for these kinds of situations in nursing school?
The doctor came in just then, took one look at the blood pooling between my legs, and began to act. He went over to the monitor, read a couple readings and turned to the nurse.
“Get to work on the pre-op.” He told her and she just nodded, leaving the room to no doubt go and gather supplies. The doctor then turned to me. “Hi Sarah,” he began. “So I believe that what you are experiencing is due to an ectopic pregnancy. You understand what that is?” He asked me.
I nodded violently.
“It means that the embryo is in your fallopian tube.” He explained anyways, obviously believing that I was in shock and needed reminding of what was happening. “You’re bleeding quite heavily and the pain should have subsided by now if things were normal. We’re going to have to operate immediately.”
“Operate?” I questioned in a voice barely above a whisper.
The doctor nodded.
“Your vitals are dropping, we shouldn’t have let you go this long.” He told me. Were doctors supposed to say things like that? I didn’t think so. He made it sound as though they had made some kind of irreparable error.
“But, the baby?” I asked frantically.
“I’m so sorry.” Was all he responded with. I could feel tears brewing but I couldn’t react, I was still in shock. “The nurse will be back in a moment to prepare you.” He gave my hand a final squeeze. “You’ll be alright.” He told me, as if that alone were supposed to comfort me. He left the room just as the nurse was re-entering. “Hurry,” I heard him say in hushed tones. “She doesn’t have much time.”
“Did you do an ultrasound?” The nurse asked him.
He shook his head.
“The longer we wait the more dire this situation gets. It’s either this or the other,” I heard him say, and I wondered what ‘the other’ could possibly be, “either way it’s nearly the same procedure.”
The nurse nodded in agreement and they parted. She began a new IV drip, one that would probably comatose me in moments.
“Don’t worry, Doctor Blithely is going to take good care of you.” She smiled at me. Her attempts were in vain, I was utterly unaffected by her words. Just then, another stabbing sensation sprawled across my torso and I uncontrollably wailed. My screams were alarming, even to me, and soon there were three more nurses and Doctor Blithely in the room with me.
“Wilson, unlock the wheels,” Doctor Blithely instructed a male nurse who quickly obliged, disengaging the stoppers on the wheels. They all quickly unfastened the wires and unneeded machines as I continued to spasm on the gurney.
“Sir, you can’t go in there.” I heard someone say in the doorway.
“I don’t care!” I heard another voice retort frantically. I looked over and saw Harry pushing past a nurse; I noticed that he was crying. “Sarah,” he breathed as he sat down in the chair next to my gurney. I couldn’t believe that he was actually here. I had so many questions for him but no sooner had I opened my mouth to ask them and the breath was knocked right out of me, my stomach feeling as though it were being ripped apart. Another metallic screech escaped my lips and I saw Harry flinch at the sound. The medical staff was throwing around unfamiliar terms, none that boded well for me.
“Heart rate’s dropping!” A nurse said suddenly, and the whole room reacted. There was a flurry of movement but between the drugs and the intolerable pain, my body was shutting down. The last thing I was consciously aware of in that room was the tight grip on Harry’s hand on mine, and the unforgettable look on his face as he sobbed by my bedside.
--
Despite having once been pregnant before, I’d never actually pictured myself as a mother. Never thought of the little things, the prospects of motherhood, like taking my son to the park, or cutting my little girl’s hair for the first time. I’d never given in to the possibility of being a parent. When I awoke to my dark hospital room, those little projections were on replay in my mind. I saw a little girl, with Harry’s curls, waving to Harry and I as we tried to hold back our tears on her first day of school; I saw myself caring for my son’s first wounds after a school fight, wiping the tears out of his emerald eyes, as I cheered him up with a bowl of ice cream. I saw these things and I wept for them. It seemed as though I was full of regret, bursting with it.
I tried to readjust myself, but winced when it proved to uncomfortable and sore to do so. I looked down and saw that I was cloaked in dressings marking where they had operated. I looked around, really analysing my surroundings and discovered that this wasn’t my hospital room and that I must be in the recovery room. I rested my head back on the pillow and a nurse approached me.
“How are you feeling?” She asked me with a smile.
“Still a little uncomfortable, but the pain is waning.” I told her.
“That’s excellent!” She said, hitting a pager on the wall. “Your surgery went well, Doctor Blithely wants you to head back to your room and he’ll discuss his findings with you.”
“Okay, now?” I asked her.
She nodded.
“I just called for Wilson to come and bring you back.” She said, a smile still fixed on her features.
I nodded in response, exhausted. When Wilson, the male nurse, came to wheel me back to my room, we didn’t speak. He rolled me down the quiet halls of the hospital. We passed a clock that read seven, and I assumed it was in the morning. Upon entering my room, I noticed a dark figure pacing anxiously in front of the window.
He noticed me out of the corner of his eye and immediately came towards me.
“Oh thank God,” he breathed, sounding relieved. Wilson put the stoppers back on my gurney and smiled at me before leaving quietly. Harry resumed his place at my bedside, once again taking my hand in his. Neither of us spoke, but the silence was shattered when Doctor Blithely entered the room.
“Good morning,” he said. He looked tired, weary, but still had a pleasant air about him.
“Morning,” Harry responded. I still couldn’t find the energy to speak so I just smiled at him.
“How are you feeling?” He asked me.
“Minutely better,” I told him.
“That’s excellent to hear,” he smiled at me, opening my file and giving it a once over. He nodded to himself, closed the file, clasped his hands and I watched as he mentally thought of what to say.
“So, we just need to discuss my findings.” He eventually said. I felt Harry’s grip on my hand tighten in response. Doctor Blithely noticed this and smiled understandingly. “As it turns out, you were never pregnant.” He stated.
I stared back at him blankly. A wave of relief came crashing over me, all I could think was: Thank God I didn’t lose another one. But then came the next worry, what had happened?
“I wasn’t?” I asked, urging him to explain.
“No, initially, we believed it to be a case of an ectopic pregnancy, as I told you,” I nodded as he spoke, “hence why we responded with such haste. However, once you were unconscious, I performed an ultrasound and discovered that an extremely large ovarian cyst was pressing down on your other organs. It was this cyst that was causing the bleeding and pain.”
“Okay…” I said, unsure of what all this meant.
“So, I attempted to removed the cyst, however it had already ruptured and the internal bleeding was quite severe. This would explain your symptoms and sudden collapse. You probably had noticed some minor attacks before without realizing it. We managed to clear it up though, stop the bleeding. With the right birth control medication and appropriate monitoring, future cysts shouldn’t be a problem.” He finished.
I let that sink in.
“So, I’ll be okay?”
“Yes, you will be, however there may be one effect that you should be aware of.”
I felt my back stiffen in response.
“Effect?” Harry asked.
“Yes,” Doctor Blithely continued, meeting my gaze. “You see these cysts, especially when they rupture, can cause damage to both the ovaries and the uterus itself. There is a great chance that you will experience infertility.”
I just stared at him as the magnitude of what he was saying hit me.
“I can’t have a baby.” I whispered, more to myself than anyone else.
“Only time will tell, I’m afraid.” Doctor Blithely said bluntly.
“Is there any treatment that she can get?” Harry asked. His thumb rubbed my hand, trying to soothe.
“Not currently, scar tissue is scar tissue I’m afraid.” Doctor Blithely answered. Harry ran a stressed hand through his hair. “I know this may seem like bad news, Sarah,” the doctor said turning to me, “but you are very lucky to be alive right now. Ruptured cysts often get infected and lead to death, and there’s very little we doctors can do when that happens.”
I nodded.
“Thank you.” I told him, unsure of what else to say.
He smiled, understandingly.
“There’s no need.” He said, standing. “We’ll keep you here for the day to monitor your condition but you should be able to go home by tomorrow evening. In the meantime, your friends are all anxiously waiting to see you. You can have them sent in whenever you feel up to it. I’ll be back to check in on you later, Sarah.” He smiled and then exited the room, leaving me with Harry and my burgeoning desolation.
Beep, beep, beep.
The sound of machinery monitoring my every living moment greeted me as the drugs began to wear off and I woke up, panicked. I was still in pain, and consciousness seemed like a looming curse. I gasped for breath, but even that hurt, and began search for some sort of pager so I could call a nurse in. Utensils clambered to the floor as I felt around blindly, my hand entangling in the wires that were strapped into my body. A nurse walking by casually peered in my room, obviously just doing her rounds, but was startled by the commotion I was causing. She immediately did a double take, striding through the door.
“Doctor!” She bellowed before running to my side. “What is it, what’s wrong?” She asked hurriedly. I pointed to my stomach and she pulled back the blanket that was covering me. There was blood again. Lots of blood. “Oh, shit.” The nurse cursed under her breath. She smacked a speaker button on the wall. “Send a doctor to room 339 immediately, it’s urgent.” Her eyes were wild, and my stress was building. “It’s okay hun, try and relax for me.” She told me. Hypocritical since she was barely keeping it together. Weren’t they trained for these kinds of situations in nursing school?
The doctor came in just then, took one look at the blood pooling between my legs, and began to act. He went over to the monitor, read a couple readings and turned to the nurse.
“Get to work on the pre-op.” He told her and she just nodded, leaving the room to no doubt go and gather supplies. The doctor then turned to me. “Hi Sarah,” he began. “So I believe that what you are experiencing is due to an ectopic pregnancy. You understand what that is?” He asked me.
I nodded violently.
“It means that the embryo is in your fallopian tube.” He explained anyways, obviously believing that I was in shock and needed reminding of what was happening. “You’re bleeding quite heavily and the pain should have subsided by now if things were normal. We’re going to have to operate immediately.”
“Operate?” I questioned in a voice barely above a whisper.
The doctor nodded.
“Your vitals are dropping, we shouldn’t have let you go this long.” He told me. Were doctors supposed to say things like that? I didn’t think so. He made it sound as though they had made some kind of irreparable error.
“But, the baby?” I asked frantically.
“I’m so sorry.” Was all he responded with. I could feel tears brewing but I couldn’t react, I was still in shock. “The nurse will be back in a moment to prepare you.” He gave my hand a final squeeze. “You’ll be alright.” He told me, as if that alone were supposed to comfort me. He left the room just as the nurse was re-entering. “Hurry,” I heard him say in hushed tones. “She doesn’t have much time.”
“Did you do an ultrasound?” The nurse asked him.
He shook his head.
“The longer we wait the more dire this situation gets. It’s either this or the other,” I heard him say, and I wondered what ‘the other’ could possibly be, “either way it’s nearly the same procedure.”
The nurse nodded in agreement and they parted. She began a new IV drip, one that would probably comatose me in moments.
“Don’t worry, Doctor Blithely is going to take good care of you.” She smiled at me. Her attempts were in vain, I was utterly unaffected by her words. Just then, another stabbing sensation sprawled across my torso and I uncontrollably wailed. My screams were alarming, even to me, and soon there were three more nurses and Doctor Blithely in the room with me.
“Wilson, unlock the wheels,” Doctor Blithely instructed a male nurse who quickly obliged, disengaging the stoppers on the wheels. They all quickly unfastened the wires and unneeded machines as I continued to spasm on the gurney.
“Sir, you can’t go in there.” I heard someone say in the doorway.
“I don’t care!” I heard another voice retort frantically. I looked over and saw Harry pushing past a nurse; I noticed that he was crying. “Sarah,” he breathed as he sat down in the chair next to my gurney. I couldn’t believe that he was actually here. I had so many questions for him but no sooner had I opened my mouth to ask them and the breath was knocked right out of me, my stomach feeling as though it were being ripped apart. Another metallic screech escaped my lips and I saw Harry flinch at the sound. The medical staff was throwing around unfamiliar terms, none that boded well for me.
“Heart rate’s dropping!” A nurse said suddenly, and the whole room reacted. There was a flurry of movement but between the drugs and the intolerable pain, my body was shutting down. The last thing I was consciously aware of in that room was the tight grip on Harry’s hand on mine, and the unforgettable look on his face as he sobbed by my bedside.
--
Despite having once been pregnant before, I’d never actually pictured myself as a mother. Never thought of the little things, the prospects of motherhood, like taking my son to the park, or cutting my little girl’s hair for the first time. I’d never given in to the possibility of being a parent. When I awoke to my dark hospital room, those little projections were on replay in my mind. I saw a little girl, with Harry’s curls, waving to Harry and I as we tried to hold back our tears on her first day of school; I saw myself caring for my son’s first wounds after a school fight, wiping the tears out of his emerald eyes, as I cheered him up with a bowl of ice cream. I saw these things and I wept for them. It seemed as though I was full of regret, bursting with it.
I tried to readjust myself, but winced when it proved to uncomfortable and sore to do so. I looked down and saw that I was cloaked in dressings marking where they had operated. I looked around, really analysing my surroundings and discovered that this wasn’t my hospital room and that I must be in the recovery room. I rested my head back on the pillow and a nurse approached me.
“How are you feeling?” She asked me with a smile.
“Still a little uncomfortable, but the pain is waning.” I told her.
“That’s excellent!” She said, hitting a pager on the wall. “Your surgery went well, Doctor Blithely wants you to head back to your room and he’ll discuss his findings with you.”
“Okay, now?” I asked her.
She nodded.
“I just called for Wilson to come and bring you back.” She said, a smile still fixed on her features.
I nodded in response, exhausted. When Wilson, the male nurse, came to wheel me back to my room, we didn’t speak. He rolled me down the quiet halls of the hospital. We passed a clock that read seven, and I assumed it was in the morning. Upon entering my room, I noticed a dark figure pacing anxiously in front of the window.
He noticed me out of the corner of his eye and immediately came towards me.
“Oh thank God,” he breathed, sounding relieved. Wilson put the stoppers back on my gurney and smiled at me before leaving quietly. Harry resumed his place at my bedside, once again taking my hand in his. Neither of us spoke, but the silence was shattered when Doctor Blithely entered the room.
“Good morning,” he said. He looked tired, weary, but still had a pleasant air about him.
“Morning,” Harry responded. I still couldn’t find the energy to speak so I just smiled at him.
“How are you feeling?” He asked me.
“Minutely better,” I told him.
“That’s excellent to hear,” he smiled at me, opening my file and giving it a once over. He nodded to himself, closed the file, clasped his hands and I watched as he mentally thought of what to say.
“So, we just need to discuss my findings.” He eventually said. I felt Harry’s grip on my hand tighten in response. Doctor Blithely noticed this and smiled understandingly. “As it turns out, you were never pregnant.” He stated.
I stared back at him blankly. A wave of relief came crashing over me, all I could think was: Thank God I didn’t lose another one. But then came the next worry, what had happened?
“I wasn’t?” I asked, urging him to explain.
“No, initially, we believed it to be a case of an ectopic pregnancy, as I told you,” I nodded as he spoke, “hence why we responded with such haste. However, once you were unconscious, I performed an ultrasound and discovered that an extremely large ovarian cyst was pressing down on your other organs. It was this cyst that was causing the bleeding and pain.”
“Okay…” I said, unsure of what all this meant.
“So, I attempted to removed the cyst, however it had already ruptured and the internal bleeding was quite severe. This would explain your symptoms and sudden collapse. You probably had noticed some minor attacks before without realizing it. We managed to clear it up though, stop the bleeding. With the right birth control medication and appropriate monitoring, future cysts shouldn’t be a problem.” He finished.
I let that sink in.
“So, I’ll be okay?”
“Yes, you will be, however there may be one effect that you should be aware of.”
I felt my back stiffen in response.
“Effect?” Harry asked.
“Yes,” Doctor Blithely continued, meeting my gaze. “You see these cysts, especially when they rupture, can cause damage to both the ovaries and the uterus itself. There is a great chance that you will experience infertility.”
I just stared at him as the magnitude of what he was saying hit me.
“I can’t have a baby.” I whispered, more to myself than anyone else.
“Only time will tell, I’m afraid.” Doctor Blithely said bluntly.
“Is there any treatment that she can get?” Harry asked. His thumb rubbed my hand, trying to soothe.
“Not currently, scar tissue is scar tissue I’m afraid.” Doctor Blithely answered. Harry ran a stressed hand through his hair. “I know this may seem like bad news, Sarah,” the doctor said turning to me, “but you are very lucky to be alive right now. Ruptured cysts often get infected and lead to death, and there’s very little we doctors can do when that happens.”
I nodded.
“Thank you.” I told him, unsure of what else to say.
He smiled, understandingly.
“There’s no need.” He said, standing. “We’ll keep you here for the day to monitor your condition but you should be able to go home by tomorrow evening. In the meantime, your friends are all anxiously waiting to see you. You can have them sent in whenever you feel up to it. I’ll be back to check in on you later, Sarah.” He smiled and then exited the room, leaving me with Harry and my burgeoning desolation.
Notes
Decided to update a bit earlier than originally planned since a couple of you asked :) Means so much to have you guys read my story, so thank you. Also, I wanted to send a shout out to Beany_Baby! for the new amazing cover. Make sure to check her out :) Other than that, please rate/comment/subscribe as usual my lovelies, and I'll post an update soon! xoxo
Ah!! They're too adorable. Really, they are! And I just have this sneaking suspicion that a proposal is very near in their future. Maybe even at/ after his mom's wedding. I can't wait til the next chapter!! More please!!!
3/16/15