The Night I Met Harry

I felt nothing when he told me. Nothing at all. It just seemed like the same situation we'd found ourselves in months ago. Like we hadn't experienced much change or development in our lives since then. I shook it off as he drove me to the art supply. I could see where he thought that telling me while we were on the road would lesson the blow and prevent me from putting distance between me and the situation. Whatever. I didn't care. Or at least I didn't today. There was nothing I could do about the situation. I wasn't a parent to him but even then I would have no control over the things his life consisted of, whether I felt good about that or not.

Harry:
"Please, say something."

Winter:
"Okay."

I mean, he could go out and fool around all he wanted to and there would be nothing I could do about it. I was his pregnant partner and maybe to him I was changing or slowly dimming into a person juxaposed to the one he'd first met.

Harry:
"Okay?"

It was a beautiful day. And maybe between that and the fluctuation of my horomones, this topic seemed somewhat trivial. Like I didn't care if he saw her or not because it wasn't my business. Just as long as I could do whatever I wanted as well.

Winter:
"Turn here, it's quicker."

The silence after wasn't awkward or tension-developing. Because I honestly didn't care right now. He pulled in the parking lot and it was quite obvious he had more to say about the matter but I began to unbuckle before he was given the chance.

Winter:
"I shouldn't be long."

Harry:
"I'll come with you."

And ruin my time of serenity, I didn't think so.

Winter:
"No need, I'll just be a minute anyways."

There wasn't much of an argument there because, like before, I just proceeded without further questioning.

I hadn't at all regret it as I took my time down each aisle, the sight of things reminding me of what I needed most. I reached for a few things. It may have taken awhile but eventually I had everything I came for and had been on my way out.

--

An entire week had gone and I had been sat upright, a bunch of pillows supporting me in my effort to remain comfortable. I removed myself, wanting anything but to allow the day to spend without getting her a few things. I was up and slipping into my shoes, grabbing my keys from the nightstand table.

Harry:
"Where are you going?"

Of course. When you were someone's fiance, I guess you couldn't become upset at that sort of question.

Winter:
"I wanted to go for bibs and pacifiers. Things of that sort, I'll be back."

Harry:
"Wait, but shouldn't I go with you?"

I had been getting that ever since I'd told him about the incident.

Harry:
"..I mean, it was you who said I had to be there during everything concerning her."

Winter:
"It's just up the road. I think I can handle it."

Harry:
"Winter."

I paused what I was doing to hang onto his voice there for a second. Because usually there was nothing I'd ever love the sound of more. The moment had struck me rather off guard when I had been experiencing the feeling of the exact opposite. I only felt annoyance.

Winter:
"You know, on second thought I think I'll just go by my moms. She's..."

I wouldn't take anything for the migraine this time, because I didn't want to become too dependent upon them.

Winter:
"...been calling a lot."

I wasn't sure if the last part was communicated to myself or not but I was losing the strength to say much else.

--

I wanted to avoid repeatedly tapping my knuckles against her door, or pressing the doorbell for any sound that could potential make me feel worst. I dialed her number as I entered upward of the driveway and made my way up to her manor. She was beautiful as always when she answered the door, greeting me with hugs and other talk that was meant to lighten my day.

Winter:
"Yea, it's been to long."

I mumbled along in the background as if it were my duty to reciprocate. It was a warm day but I was given a tea and somewhere in between we'd made it up to her bedroom. It was much too large for one person alone, my dads things scattered and tucked away in places. She took life from the television that had played beneath our conversation and set the remote out of range.

Linda:
"What's wrong, dear?"

My ears finally perked with her summon and I'd passed along my eye contact respectfully.

Winter:
"What do you mean? I'm alright,"

Linda:
"...I'm your mother Winter, you expect me to believe that? Insult me."


I felt those feelings slowly becoming active that I'd somehow managed to have buried for sometime now. I looked away to give that attention to the rings that hugged my fingers in a close embrace. The opposite hand sort of hovered over them, pulling at them in thought until I'd finally removed them completely. I felt her gasp with the action but why did I expect any less. She loved Harry more than anyone I'd ever brought home to her and honestly it had become a little annoying at times. Whether it was them planning something for me together or sharing things that I had intended for only one pair of ears...it was stupid but sometimes I just felt left out. This entire emotion was the reason I didn't know what to say behind what I'd just done. Or how to tell her my true feelings because when I left here they'd probably figure out a fix together before I'd gotten home.

It was the first in a while I'd seen my fingers without they're company...and the feeling was vunerable...naked, and anything but natural.

Linda:
"What did he do?"

I wasn't sure if I were being dramatic or not. But I was tired of giving thought to it. I simply didn't care and that was the worst feeling of all.

Winter:
"It's not him, it's me."

Her palms cupped my face to comfort me, and whatever doubt I had in telling her had strategically melted away. I hoped to one day have that effect on my daughter.

Winter:
"He told me he's seen his ex a few times behind my back...says it's nothing and wouldn't happen again but the visits were necessary..."

I let my fingers present quotes to her at the last part but I felt so cold and unemotional saying it.

Linda:
"Jessie's her name?"

Of course she knew that. I nodded, sitting on her bed and sipping from the small cup.

Winter:
"I guess I'm getting this feeling of being empty because...he's done this before. And I was so sure it had went away but close to a year later and we're right back where we were."

I felt them brimming as my face became warm to the touch.

I sat the rings away from my body on her bed, one he'd given earlier in our relationship and the other binding us until marriage.

Winter:
"Mom, I'm in a relationship with someone I don't trust...I hate him for seeing her and not just telling me about it, you know...I was so stupid for thinking we were that close and open with each other. And it's hard to cry now...it's hard to shed the same tears for the same reasons."

She'd taken the tea away the more my hands grew unsteady and just allowed me to stain her shirt with my problems.

Linda:
"It's okay. Don't cry honey."

Winter:
"What do I do? I don't want to marry someone who would do that. And I don't wish her away but I just feel bad...because if it weren't for Riley I'd tell him to be with her. That way he wouldn't need my permission."

Linda:
"Don't be silly. He loves you."

Winter:
"No. Don't defend him, I hate when you do that. What if this were me and Scott?"

Linda:
"That's different."

Winter:
"How is that any different? I would love to talk to him just to see how he's doing and what his life has become. But I'd never do that. Why? Because I'd never disrespect Harry that way. It would hurt him, why is that so hard to grasp..."

She was pacing in front of me now, trying to find the right words but little did she know...those words didn't exist for me right now.

Linda:
"This Jessie, does she know about you?"

Winter:
"She knows but she doesn't care. And she has that much of an advantage over him because she's known him longer."

I wiped the tears feeling like so much of an idiot for this.

Winter:
"I don't even care. He can see whoever he wants. We'll probably be over by the time she's born anyways."

Linda:
"Stop. That's your anger speaking to me right now. Just stop it."

It was stern and spoken as a warning. Such a mom.

Linda:
"Your pregnant sweetheart and you're going to feel extremes like this...but you have to know that he loves you like no one does."

Okay.

Winter:
"Okay."

I'd gotten up in a manner to leave.

Linda:
"Just get some rest...maybe in a bed to yourself and you'll see things differently okay. I promise."

I nodded trying my best to exit quickly after absorbing her words.

Linda:
"And please honey, put your rings back on before he catches ‎a heart attack."

Winter:
"...I'll call you tonight."‎

--

I picked up my prescription in routine from the malls pharmacy and had now been headed back to my car ‎when I decided I'd go for her bibs and such anyways. It was a short trip to the edge of the outlet so why not. I bypassed the art supply, given I'd been to the other already when I saw that stream of tattoos I was slowly getting use to. I looked away, grateful he hadn't noticed me and decided on focusing on my task.

Mason:
"Winter?"

That worked.

He caught up as I slowly kept walking toward my destination.

Winter:
"It seems I always see you now."

Mason:
"I know...it's quite nice though, if I'm honest."

I held my bag tighter in habit as we continued our walk.

Mason:
"Where are you headed?
‎
Winter:
"Uh, just for a few baby things we're missing before I head home."
‎
It wasn't weird speaking of the pregnancy with him though it should have been. He licked his lips as he often did in habit before continuing. ‎
‎
Mason:
"‎I'll come along."

Winter:‎
"Oh. No, you don't have to do that. I get that its weird."

He laughed softly at the wording.
‎
Mason:
"Nothing feels weird with you. I insist, really."

Hmm.

--

Winter:
"Alright. We'll pick just one more. We've already been in here for too long. This one or..."
‎
I lifted up the adorable pink overall thingy into his view. I'd be spending a lot today. ‎

Winter:
"...the purple one?‎
‎
Mason:
"‎She'll be perfect in the pink."

Exactly what I was thinking. I threw it into his arms with the rest and put the other back before heading to the register. She took her time ringing up while conversation flowed easily between us. He asked about things like her name and birthday and before I wouldn't have felt comfortable with disclosing that but why not.

She added everything up and fed me the price. I don't know why I was excited that it had come to so much but honestly I'd get her anything I saw fit despite the price.

Mason:
"I got it."

Pardon?

Winter:
"That's nice but I can't ask you to-"

Mason:
"You didn't ask me. And I really want to, I feel like we're friends and I didn't get you anything as a congrats yet."

He reached the lady across the counter the bills before I could protest it anymore. He even grabbed the bags despite my effort to at least get one in my grips. Thoughts were disbursed between us ‎as we led ourselves away.

Winter:
"I'm going to kill you for that."

Mason:
"I'm in trouble for doing something nice?"

I tried thinking of a way I could argue this.

Winter:
"Thank you. I didn't realize we were that close."

Mason:
"...well...we are so don't argue."
‎
‎

‎
‎
‎
‎

‎

Notes

Love the comments guys. Don't you hate when they fight?