Stars in Your Eyes

“Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho,” Jay and Shay heard coming from the living room as they walked in the front door after a long day of shopping together that Saturday.

“That must be your brother and Harry, I assume,” Jay said, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah,” Shay said quietly as her stomach danced with butterflies at just the sound of Harry’s name.

“OHHHHH!” They shouted again in unison as Shay walked further in the house.

She could see her dad sitting in the recliner and Louis and Harry idly sitting on the couch together – the couch she and Harry got pretty intimate on just the day before.

“Oh my god, did you see that!?” Louis yelled at Harry.

“Yes!” Harry laughed, looking at Louis excitedly.

They were watching the big Penn State/Purdue football game that was on television. Louis had been talking about it non-stop all week. Penn State was both Louis and Harry’s favorite college team and they both said on many occasions they wanted to go to school there.

“Keep it down in there,” Jay said playfully, smirking at the boys.

“If you were into football, Mom – you’d be right here screaming with us,” Louis called out to her.

“I’m sure I would,” she said, rolling her eyes so Shay could see her. Shay giggled at her mom as she set her handful of shopping bags on the kitchen table.

Harry’s vision met with hers from across the room and all she could do was stare into his eyes from afar. A smile played at her lips and the same thing happened to him.

“FUMBLE!” Louis yelled and Harry’s vision snapped to the TV.

“DID YOU SEE THAT!? DID YOU SEE THAT!?” Louis yelled to Harry and Mark, which caused Shay to be ripped out of her daze.

“Penn is kicking ass today!” Louis laughed happily. Shay shook her head with a smile on her face. Sports were ridiculous, but what was more ridiculous was everyone’s obsession with them – especially her dad and brother.

“Shay, will you grab these groceries and bring them to the kitchen?” Jay asked from the foyer.

“Huh? What?” She asked, looking over at her mother.

“Groceries. Kitchen. Now,” Jay said quickly.

“Oh, yeah. Okay,” Shay said, walking over to pick up the bags.

“I’d like some help making dinner too,” her mother told her.

“Sure,” Shay said, bringing the grocery bags into the kitchen as requested.

For the next hour or so, while listening to the guys scream and shout at their football game, Shay helped Jay put away the groceries and prepare dinner, thinking of the boy in the other room the whole time. All she wanted to do was see him, maybe kiss him, maybe cuddle him. He was the only thing on her mind these days and it was extremely difficult to think of anything else.

“It smells good in here, ladies,” Harry said as he and Louis ambled into the kitchen once the game was over. The hair on the back of Shay’s neck stood on end at the sound of his voice.

“Looks good too,” Louis said, snatching up a piece of chicken from the pan on the stove that was supposed to be for the fajitas they were making.

“Get outta here!” Shay said, smacking his grubby little hand.

“We’re hungry, Shay. We’re hungry,” Louis said dramatically.

“Dinner’s almost ready, you vultures,” Jay said, smirking at them.

“Thank God,” Louis said dramatically as if he’d never eaten in his life.

“Who won?” Shay asked, eyeing Harry.

“Who do you think? PENN MOTHER EFFING STATE!” Louis said, giving Harry a high five.

“Watch it, Louis,” Jay snapped, scolding him for his vulgar language.

“I didn’t say it, Mom. I didn’t swear,” he protested.

“I don’t care,” she said, quirking an eyebrow at him in a warning.

“Mom, I’m eighteen,” he whined.

“Louis, it’s my house,” she said, mimicking his whine. Harry and Shay both stood back, chuckling at the two of them.

“Go wash up and get your butts back down here to help put the food on the table,” Jay told both of the guys.

Shay watched as Harry exited behind her brother. He had a swagger about him. A sexy little saunter that drove her entirely crazy.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jay asked, looking over at her daughter.

“Yeah, why?” Shay questioned, furrowing her brow.

“Your face is all red. And you’ve kind of been quiet tonight,” she pointed out, eyeing her.

“I don’t know. It’s really hot in here,” Shay said with a shrug as she grabbed some of the food to bring to the table, so her mother couldn’t analyze her behavior anymore.

At dinner, Shay sat across from Harry and Louis. She had to keep her eyes focused on her food so she wouldn’t stare at Harry the whole time. Her mind wouldn’t stop reliving the memories of the two of them on the couch the day before, so it was her job to make sure her face didn’t show how entirely fond she was of the boy sitting across from her.

“So, Harry – are you applying to Penn State this year?” Mark asked him.

“Yessir,” Harry said through a mouthful. He chewed it quickly and swallowed before he spoke again.

“It’s my number one school,” Harry said, smiling proudly at him. Shay looked up momentarily to watch him.

“Louis, you too?” Mark asked, turning the question on his son.

“Of course, Pops,” Louis said, smiling cheekily, looking like a chipmunk with food shoved in his mouth.

“Good boys,” Mark said, smiling to himself.

“Shay, what colleges are you looking at going to?” Harry asked, directly speaking to her, which caught her off guard.

“I… I hadn’t really thought about it,” Shay squeaked out.

“Oh, come on, Shay. It’s never too early to think about it,” Louis added.

“Maybe you can come to school with us at Penn State,” Harry offered, with a smile all for her.

“Maybe,” she said quietly, feeling her cheeks redden.

“Oh, that would be a mother’s dream. You’d have your brother and Harry to look after you,” Jay said, smiling widely at her.

“Yeah, we’d kick all those college guys’ asses that tried to make any moves on you,” Louis chuckled.

Shay swallowed hard, trying to act natural. Would that include your best friend, Louis?

“You better not,” Shay chuckled awkwardly.

“Shaylynn,” Mark scolded her playfully.

“What, Dad? I’ll be in college,” she reminded him.

“I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to think about it. You’re my little girl. You’re only sixteen. If anyone even thinks about making moves on you, I’ll break their legs,” Mark told her sternly.

“God, Dad,” Shay choked out.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Harry’s eyes go wide for a split second before his facial features evened out. But the reddening in his cheeks was unmistakable.

“Jeez, honey. You don’t need to be so graphic,” Jay told him.

“It’s the truth,” Mark said, taking another bite of his food.

“Oh, Louis can have a sex life, but I can’t?” Shay grumbled under her breath.

“Shaylynn!” Mark growled.

“What?” She snapped.

“You— just no. No,” he said, shaking his head.

“Mom!” Shay whined, looking over at her for a little help.

“Are we really having this conversation right now?” Jay asked, looking between Shay and Mark.

Harry and Louis just sat silently, wide-eyed and waiting, like witnesses to a car wreck.

“We are not,” Mark said, shaking his head.

“Shay, you’re sixteen. I’m eighteen,” Louis pointed out, causing the blood to boil inside of Shay.

“Louis, tell me – what age did you lose your virginity?” Shay asked, cocking an eyebrow at him, knowing full well he was only sixteen when he had sex for the first time.

“Virginity– we’re… good god. We are not talking about anybody’s virginity here. Not unless it’s to emphasize the point that you are keeping yours,” Mark choked out, looking over at Shay.

“Mark…” Jay said quietly.

Shay folded her arms over her chest and sat back in her chair glaring at the wall. It was bullshit how much she got babied. Louis got free rein to do whatever he wanted, but she was being punished for being female.

“This is awkward,” Louis said quietly.

“Shut up, Louis,” Shay snapped at him.

“I’m just saying,” he said, putting his hands up in defense.

“Just eat,” Mark told them all.

They finished dinner in silence and as soon as her father said it was okay to leave the table, Shay stomped up to her room without helping clear the table. A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on her door.

“Come in,” Shay called out. The door opened slowly, revealing her mother.

“Hi, baby,” Jay said carefully, smiling at her.

“Hi, Mom,” she said, putting her pencil down. She was working on the last bit of her homework to get what her father said to her out of her mind.

“Shaylynn, what was that about… at dinner?” She asked, tip-toeing over the words.

“I don’t know,” Shay said quietly.

“I think you do know, honey,” Jay said, giving her a knowing look.

“I’m just… I’m sick of there being a double standard. For girls and boys. For me and Louis,” Shay sighed and her mom nodded.

“I hate it too, but that’s just how it is sometimes. And with your father especially, because you’re his little girl. Daddies don’t want anything bad to happen to their little girls, you know. He just wants to keep you safe, you know that, right?” She explained.

“But I’m not a little girl anymore,” Shay grumbled.

“I know, Shay. You’re growing up,” Jay said, swiping Shay’s hair behind her ear in the mothering way she had.

Shay’s eyes met with the quilt on her bed as her finger traced over its pattern, letting the silence engulf them.

“Shay, are you… you’re not having sex, are you?” Jay asked carefully. Shay quickly looked up into her concerned eyes.

“No. I never have,” Shay told her honestly.

“Is there a boy?” Jay prodded. Shay tried to keep her expression as stable as possible to keep her mother from finding out the truth.

“No. There’s no boy,” she lied.

“What is with the unexpected blow up then? Are you thinking about having sex?” She asked.

“I mean, it should be an option, right? It was an option for Louis. He had sex at sixteen,” Shay told her mom.

“I really don’t even want to know how you know that,” Jay said, shaking her head.

“I was home when he—” Shay began to explain.

“Didn’t I just say I didn’t want to know? Ugh. In this house? Oh, jeez,” Jay groaned.

“How do you think I feel?” Shay grumbled.

“Anyway, I’m just saying, you don’t have to do everything your brother does. Because, between you and me, sometimes your brother is an idiot,” Jay said, smirking at her daughter. Shay laughed out loud, because he really was sometimes.

“But like, people wouldn’t have sex if it wasn’t good,” Shay pointed out and her mom sighed.

“It is good, Shay. But at the right time. Are you entirely sure it is something you want? Sex is a very complicated thing. It brings on a lot of drama. And it can be scary in many senses,” Jay explained.

“I don’t know if I’m ready, but I don’t want to be told I can’t do it if I feel like I am ready,” Shay told her.

“I don’t want you to do it unless you’re absolutely sure you’re ready. Preferably your wedding night,” Jay added.

“What if I’m not even ready on my wedding night?” Shay asked, playfully smirking at her mother.

“Well, it sucks for your husband then,” she said and they both laughed.

“Just, Shay… don’t try to grow up too fast, honey. You’re only young once and it would kill me if your innocence got taken away because of one stupid decision,” she told her and Shay nodded.

“How much have you actually thought this over?” Jay questioned.

“What? Sex?” Shay asked.

“Yeah,” Jay nodded.

“I don’t know. Doesn’t everyone think about it?” Shay asked curiously.

“Sure. But how close are you to actually being ready for it?” Jay asked. Shay shrugged her shoulders, feeling her cheeks burn up.

“Should I be getting you into the doctor’s office to get you on birth control?” Jay asked and Shay shrugged again.

Her mother’s breathing hitched in her throat as she realized her baby was really growing up. Shay’s eyes involuntarily shot up to hers.

“I… I’ll make an appointment,” Jay stammered, looking almost scared.

“Mom…” Shay whispered.

“Hmm?” Jay answered.

“I don’t want you to be… disappointed in me,” Shay choked out.

“I’m not, Shay. I’m not. It just… it just scares me a little. You’re my baby, okay. You’re my little girl too,” she explained.

“I’m not having sex, but I promise you I’ll be responsible when I do – no matter how near or far down the road it is,” Shay told her.

“Find a good boy first, Shay. Don’t… just don’t lose it to lose it, okay. I don’t want you to regret it,” Jay said, looking at her with the saddest eyes. All she could do was nod in response. How was she supposed to reply to something like that?

“Just… I just want you to be happy and I don’t want to see you get hurt, Shaylynn,” her mom told her.

“Thanks, Mom,” Shay whispered.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” Shay told her.

Jay hugged her tightly before she stood up and walked to her door.

“Shay…” She said again.

“Yeah?” Shay questioned, looking up at her from the bed.

“Go easy on your dad. You growing up is hard on him,” Jay told her.

Shay nodded seconds before her mom walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

There was a lot on her mind as she went to bed that night. She felt embarrassed that Harry was there to witness their family fight about sex. She could feel her face burning up at the thought of him sitting there so uncomfortable. Why did it have to happen when he was there? Shay groaned to herself in frustration just as she heard a soft knock on her door. Even though she couldn’t be sure she even heard it. But when she saw her door slowly open through the dimness, she knew she heard it. Shay sat up quickly, squinting her eyes to see who it was. Her heart was nearly pounding out of her chest, hoping it wasn’t a murderer coming to kill her.

“Shay…” She heard Harry whisper and she took a deep breath, noticeably calming down at the sight of him.

“Harry, what are you doing?” She whispered back as he closed the door, shutting them in her room together.

He definitely had balls. Especially after hearing from her father’s own mouth that he would break the legs of any boy who tried making a move on her. And it was under his own roof no less.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he whispered as he tip-toed over to her bed.

“Me neither,” she said lowly.

Harry sat down on the edge of her bed, smiling at her and all she could feel was guilt over the fact that he was witness to her family’s dysfunction.

“I’m sorry,” Shay said softly.

“For what?” He asked, knitting his eyebrows together questioningly.

“I’m sorry you were a part of that horrible dinner,” Shay apologized.

“It was delicious,” he said, smirking at her.

“You know what I mean,” she said, chuckling lightly.

“It’s alright. I feel like a part of this family most of the time anyway,” he said with a passive shrug.

“But… my dad. He won’t, you know, break your legs, Harry. I wouldn’t let him,” she told him awkwardly and all Harry could do was chuckle.

“Your dad loves me,” Harry said confidently.

“But you saw how he reacted at the mentioning of me with a boy,” Shay countered.

“Yeah. Eek,” Harry said, pulling a face.

“Yeah. Totally,” Shay giggled.

“I mean, but… we’re not doing that… you know. I mean… we’re just kissing,” Harry said, trying to justify their situation.

“Yeah,” Shay breathed, unable to thinking about anything but sleeping with him now that he disregarded it.

“I mean, it’s innocent,” Harry said. Shay knew her thoughts of him were most definitely not innocent.

“Yeah,” she said quietly.

“It’s just… you and me… and we’ve known each other… we know each other pretty well. You know I’d never hurt you,” he said, scooting closer to her on the bed as he looked deeply into her eyes.

“Yeah,” she said once again. Her brain wouldn’t allow her to say anything else. She was just taking in all of his meaningful words.

“Shay…” Harry said, inching toward her and she knew he was going to kiss her again.

“Yeah?” She asked sounding breathy and wanton.

“You’re not going to hurt me, are you?” He breathed against her lips.

“N-no,” she stammered and he smiled moments before pressing his lips against hers.

“Good,” he said, coaxing her onto her back.

Harry was with her in her bed and her mind was mush. Harry was with her in her bed and she was going crazy. Harry was with her in her bed.

His hips fit perfectly between her legs as his weight enveloped her. She could already feel her body warming up from his touch and from the way he was greedily tasting her. She just wanted him to consume her. And she wanted to consume him right back.

Their breathing sped up as they kissed and Shay felt dizzy as she fought for oxygen through his lustful kisses. Harry’s lips moved down her neck as his hands moved up her shirt.

“Just take it off,” Shay panted, not believing the words just came out of her mouth.

Harry stopped to look down at her. She bit her lips as her wide eyes looked up at him.

“Are… are you sure?” He asked. She nodded her head slowly.

“Alright,” he breathed, pulling up the hem of her loose fitting t-shirt.

She sat up slightly and pulled her arms up as he lifted it completely off of her body. She wasn’t wearing a bra or anything underneath, which really surprised Harry. She could see the excitement dance in his eyes as he looked at her bareness for the first time. She bit her lip bashfully as she smiled, enjoying his reaction very much.

“Shay, have you done this kind of stuff before?” Harry asked.

“Uh, once or twice. Nothing too crazy,” she told him truthfully.

“With Ricky?” He asked and she nodded. Ricky was her first real boyfriend. Pretty much the only boy she had any experience with.

“I knew I hated that kid for a reason,” Harry said, smirking down at her. Shay giggled as she laid back down completely.

“I’m glad it’s me now,” he whispered as his mouth came back down to hers.

Her heart sparked with his words. The more he said beautiful things like that, the more she fell for him. And she didn’t know if it was a good thing for her to be falling for him.

Harry’s hand came up, cupping her breast in it, causing Shay’s body to react with an array of goose bumps covering her skin. She relished in how gentle he was as he touched her. She almost felt like he was savoring every single moment. And maybe he was. As his mouth moved against hers, his hand kneaded her breast softly, making her heart race and her breathing pick up.

When his thumb flicked over her the already hardening bud of her nipple, she almost cried out from the pleasing sensation that ran through her whole body. It was the most sexually frustrating thing ever, but nothing compared to the way Harry made her feel when his mouth left hers and wrapped around the same nipple he’d just teased with his thumb.

Shay moaned inwardly, trying her best to keep as quiet as possible, but Harry was making it really hard. Her hands fisted in her hair as Harry’s mouth kissed its way down the valley between her breasts and made his way up the next peak, sucking and teasing it as well.

“Oh my god,” she breathed.

“Mmm,” Harry hummed, and she felt his mouth vibrate over it.

“Jesus, Harry. Oh my god,” Shay hissed, biting at her lip.

When it all was just too much for her – when her head wanted to explode, she pulled him back up to her, kissing him lightly on the mouth.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked sweetly.

“No. God, no. I just… oh, man. I… let’s just… slow… slow down,” she said, swallowing and panting hard. Her mouth was so dry.

“Okay,” he said, kissing her lightly on the mouth.

He lay down next to her on the bed, rolling off of her completely. Shay rolled onto her side to look over at him.

“Is this just crazy? Is this all just completely crazy?” She asked. Harry turned his head to look at her.

“No,” he said simply. A smile spread across her face from his answer.

“Good,” she said, leaning up to kiss his lips.

Notes