Stars in Your Eyes

Shay felt Harry’s eyes on her every time they were in the hallway together at school. No matter what, she could pick him out in the crowd and there he’d be, staring at her. It made her feel good, but it also made her a little angry. It had been a week since she and Harry talked, since he told her he was going to fight for her and there were still no signs of him telling Louis anything. She knew Harry said he wanted to wait, but hadn’t it already been almost two months since they stopped seeing each other? Wasn’t that adequate time for Harry to get his shit together and tell Louis that their feelings weren’t going away, that he’d just have to suck it up and deal with his best friend dating his sister? Apparently not.

After the last bell and after like the ninth time that day of Harry’s watchful gaze on her, Shay slammed her locker shut and got the hell out of there. It was a nice day. Spring had decided to come early, as early as she’d ever seen it anyway. It was the beginning of March and there were usually still blizzards and ice storms. Shay was grateful for the early thaw though, since she was still walking home from school. It was pretty damn cold on most days, but today, she didn’t even feel the need to zip up her jacket.

“Shay! Hey, Shay. Wait up!” She heard and immediately spun toward the person shouting at her. She sighed when she saw Harry jogging toward her.

“Hey,” he said as he caught up.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Can I… can I walk with you?” He asked.

“I don’t know. Can you?” She asked just to be purposely snide.

“You sound like a teacher,” he smirked, rolling his eyes.

Shay didn’t say anything as Harry fell into step next to her. She felt awkward to say the least. It was weird – with her not saying anything and him not saying anything. But she knew there were a million things he wanted to say to her. His long gazes through the hallway and his sudden need to walk with her home proved it. But she wasn’t going to make things any easier on him. Not a chance.

“So, you and Damien…” He started.

“Oh my god,” she said under her breath, rolling her eyes. She couldn’t believe that was what he chose to talk to her about.

“’Oh my god’, what?” He asked, looking over at her.

“Really, Harry? ‘You and Damien’?” She asked, giving him an annoyed look.

“What?” He asked, looking at her questioningly.

“Nothing. Me and Damien, what?” She asked, shaking her head.

“You’re friends?” He asked.

“I enjoy Damien’s company,” she said through gritted teeth.

There was a silent pause, when all that could be heard was their shoes hitting the pavement as they walked.

“I was jealous… at first,” Harry told her. Shay looked over at him to see if he was being genuine.

“What? You think I like seeing you hanging out with other guys? Especially my little brother,” he smirked at her.

“You really don’t have a say in that,” she reminded him.

“I know. That’s why I never said anything, Shay. I know I didn’t deserve an opinion. Not after the way…” He said, letting his voice trail off as he looked down at the ground.

Shay took a deep breath, realizing it was still an open wound to her heart – Harry and everything connected to him.

“But what was even worse than my brother was that Zayn guy,” Harry smirked, looking back up at her.

“Harry, stop,” Shay said, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“This… Harry. This is just too hard. I can’t sit here and talk about this stuff with you,” she told him truthfully as she stopped in her tracks. Harry stopped too, turning to look at her.

“I’m sorry, Shay,” he said again.

“Yeah. You said that,” she grumbled as she started walking again, a little faster this time.

“Damien… he’s really upset,” Harry said.

“What? Why?” Shay asked, stopping again. This time it was her turning to face him. What did she do to upset Damien?

“He was yelling at me. He keeps yelling at me,” Harry told her.

“Why?” She asked, furrowing her brow.

“He’s telling me I am the biggest idiot in the world for letting you go. As if I didn’t already know that,” Harry explained.

“Oh,” Shay said, dropping her gaze from his.

“Shay…” Harry said quietly.

“Hmm,” she said, still looking down at the ground.

“Shay…” He said again more loudly, curling his fingers underneath her chin to meet their eyes.

“I’m gonna tell Louis,” he told her. Shay took in a sudden intake of breath that almost made her dizzy.

“I’m going to tell him that I love you and that I don’t want to live without you anymore – that I can’t live without you. And if he doesn’t like it, well then that’s just too damn bad,” Harry told her.

Shay could feel the tears building up in their ducts. She was going to cry and she knew it. She was going to cry because she didn’t know if she truly trusted his words. It was an ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ sort of feeling that plagued her. Two months of wishing for this day to come and she couldn’t even believe his words.

“Shay, I love you so much,” he said, grasping onto the sides of her face with his hands. Her hands came up to rest atop his.

“And you want to do it now? Now, because your little brother badgered you into it? Now, after two months?” Shay asked as her tears spilled over and her voice cracked with emotion.

“No, no. Shay…” He said, shaking his head. She pulled his hands from her face and took a step back from him.

“Please don’t pull away from me,” he pleaded, taking a step forward.

Shay let out a choked laugh. Those words – those exact words that she could have screamed in his face thousands of times in the last two months. ‘Please don’t pull away from me.’ But that’s all he did. He pulled away and left her to fend for herself.

“Shaylynn…” He breathed.

“Harry, I don’t…” Shay choked out.

“Please, I know it’s been a long time. I know, okay. And I know things are probably going to get bad with Louis again. But I want you to know… I need you to know I’m not going to run away this time. I promise. I’ll promise on anything – the bible, my own life. Shay, please. Please don’t let my stupidity ruin everything. I love you and I know you love me too,” he said, grabbing her hands in his.

Her tears were coming out in sobs. They were standing in the middle of the street in their neighborhood and she couldn’t control her emotions.

“Shay, please tell me you love me. Please,” Harry begged as he pulled her body to his, wrapping his arms around her.

She couldn’t get any words out even if she wanted to, not with the relentless way her tears were pouring out.

“Please, Shay. I love you,” he cooed in her ear as he smoothed out her hair with his hand.

And that was when she realized that just because Harry pulled away before, didn’t mean she needed to pull away now. She knew his promises were broken before, but there was something so sincere in his voice that made her believe his words were genuine – that at least for now, he never had any intentions of breaking them. And Shay knew in her heart that he was genuinely sorry for everything he did that hurt her in the past. And she was finally ready to forgive.

“I-I… I love you,” Shay choked out through her tears.

“Oh, baby. Good, good. Oh, Shay,” Harry said, kissing her cheek. Shay’s arms tightened around Harry and she knew she never wanted to let him go.

“I love you so much. And I’ll tell Louis right now if you want me to,” he said, pulling back to grab her face again, looking her straight in the eye.

She shook her head ‘no’. It needed to be dealt with delicately. The best decision would be to come up with a plan on how they were going to approach him with this. He didn’t deserve their discretion, but she didn’t want him to kick Harry’s ass or anything.

“We can… we can talk about it,” Shay told him.

“Okay. Whatever you want,” he said, wiping her tears with his thumbs. Shay nodded as she tried to hold back the fresh tears that threatened to fall.

“I don’t deserve you,” he told her, kissing the tip of her nose. She nodded her head again, agreeing with his words.

“God, I missed you,” he smiled, leaning in to give her their first kiss in two months. It was just as great as Shay remembered it to be. And like an addict, she only wanted more.

Harry’s lips never left hers once they got in the house. They practically ran there, still too afraid to go to Shay’s in case Louis would be there. It was a long time since she’d been in his bedroom and she was glad to be back.

“Oh, God,” Shay moaned as she fell onto Harry’s bed, him on top of her.

“Please, just never stop kissing me,” Shay groaned as she worked his t-shirt over his head.

“I don’t plan to,” he breathed against the skin of her neck as he rocked his hips into hers.

“Oh, God,” Shay groaned again.

She wanted him so bad. She couldn’t even control herself. She would never recover from Harry, she was sure of that now. And she had never felt passion so strong in her whole entire life.

“Condom. Now,” Shay panted.

Harry quickly pushed up on his forearms and stumbled off the bed to his closet. Shay quickly slipped off her pants and shirt as she watched as Harry fumbled in the back of his closet, grabbing a condom. As he headed back to the bed, he undid his jeans and pushed them to the floor, ripping open the condom wrapper and rolling it down onto himself. Shay watched on, fascinated the entire time.

“Shay, I love you. And this isn’t just about sex to me, okay,” Harry said, looking her straight in the eye.

“No. I know, Harry. I just said that to make you mad,” she said quietly, shaking her head.

“We’re in this together, okay. Nothing is going to tear us apart this time,” he assured her.

“Nothing,” she agreed.

With that, he got back on top of her, kissing her hard on the lips. His eyes focused on hers as he slowly pushed himself inside. Shay let out a ragged breath as he filled her up. She had never felt closer to Harry. She’d never felt a deeper connection. Because now, for the first time in months, they were finally on the same page again. They were finally ready to make their relationship real and this sort of sealed it all.

The first time was good, but the second time was exceptionally better. Their bodies moved more fluidly. They weren’t afraid. They didn’t hold back and they let themselves feel each other, rather than fearing that they were going to do something wrong or hurt the other person. They were free. And really, that just seemed to symbolize where they were with each other on every level.

Notes