Ariana did everything in her power to put the thoughts and her feelings for Harry aside. She never should have spent the night with him. She should have just left after his stupid friend busted his load. Actually, she should have left after the striptease. Sure the $200 would help out – it would pay for groceries and stuff, but she could have gone without it. And she most definitely could have gone without going back to Harry’s room with him.
She was so stupid. Damn it. She was stupid.
“I didn’t fucking pay for you to just lay there,” her John grumbled, breaking her out of her thoughts, her eyes shooting up into his. He was staring down at her – Mr. Missionary.
“Sorry, baby,” she smiled, lifting her hand up to his face. He stared down at her with a look of annoyance.
“It’s like I’m fucking my wife,” he scoffed.
“Baby, it’s so fucking good. Just… please. Just fuck me, baby. I want it,” Ari said, running her fingers up his back, trying to sound like she was actually aroused by him. It was fucking pathetic.
With a huff, he began pumping inside of her again.
“Oh, please,” Ari groaned, trying her best to get into it – to earn her money.
“Fucking give me more,” he told her sternly.
She began moaning loudly, doing her absolute best to act like she was enjoying it. Soon enough, he was busting his load into the condom and she was done. She was grateful, since she couldn’t keep her mind in check. How the hell did she lose her train of thought like that? And why the hell was she losing her mind over a boy? It was seriously pathetic.
As Ariana stood outside her apartment building before going in that night, she smoked an extra cigarette just to calm her nerves. Ever since her night with Harry, she’d been smoking more and more, like she couldn’t handle herself anymore. Like her entire life was spiraling.
She sighed as she stomped out the butt of the cigarette with her high heeled boot. She hated walking into the house wearing her hooker attire, but she had no energy left in her. Besides, it was late. Her mom and Robin would be in bed. As she pushed open the apartment door, she noticed the TV on in the living room.
“Shit,” she breathed, trying to sneak across the floor without being noticed.
“Ariana?” She heard as she saw Robin’s head popped up from the couch.
“Shit,” she said again, under her breath.
“Baby girl. What are you still doing up?” Ari asked.
“Mom’s not home,” Robin told her.
“Mom’s not home?” She choked out. Well, where the fuck was she?
“She said she’d be back soon, but that was a few hours ago,” Robin said.
“Where did she go, Rob?” Ari asked.
“I don’t know. She didn’t say,” Robin said, shrugging her shoulders.
Ariana pulled her phone out of her purse and dialed her mother’s cell. Robin was only fourteen years old and shouldn’t be left alone like this, for hours. Her mom’s phone went to voicemail.
“Urghhh,” Ari growled.
“What?” Robin asked.
“Next time she leaves like this, you need to call dad, okay. You can’t just stay here alone,” Ariana told her.
“What about you?” Robin asked.
“Rob, you know I have work. Dad needs to come get you if mom leaves like this again,” Ari told her.
“What kind of job lets you dress like that, Ari?” Robin asked as her eyes moved up her older sister’s over-exposed body.
“It doesn’t matter. I just… when I’m at work, it’s extremely hard to get away. And if I don’t have this job, Robin, we’re not going to have a place to live or food on the table,” Ari told her.
“Okay, okay,” she grumbled and Ari sighed. She was taking her anger out on Robin, when it was her mother that she was extremely frustrated with.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m not mad at you. This isn’t your fault,” Ari said, sitting down on the couch with her, wrapping her in her arms.
“It’s okay, Ari,” she breathed out.
“Come on. You should get to bed,” Ari told her. Robin groaned, but got up off the couch and started dragging her feet to their bedroom.
Ariana took a shower, scrubbing Mr. Missionary from her body. Her mind cut to Harry lying in the big bed in the Presidential Suite almost a week ago now. His arms bunching up a pillow underneath his chin, a big smile grazing his lips. A smile that was from something she said. His laughter rang through her ears, torturing her with every single chuckle. His green eyes focused on her face, rather than her half naked body that lay next to him. He didn’t gawk over her, he didn’t put his hands on her, or say cheesy things to her to get her to sleep with him. He was just genuine. He was a complete gentleman. And it killed everything inside of her to have to walk away from someone like that. It left her feeling empty. But with everything inside of her, she didn’t want Harry to know who she really was – what she really did. And if he did know, he sure as hell didn’t show it. She never wanted to see the look in his eyes when he found out she fucked for money. She wasn’t prepared for something like that.
Ariana shook her head, trying to expel the memories from her mind. It wasn’t a good idea to keep thinking about him. This was exactly why she never mixed business with pleasure. It was a recipe for a broken heart – or at least a lot of agony, having to give up someone so perfect for her.
Ari was curled up on the couch in the living room when her mother finally came home an hour later. She pulled herself up, watching as she stumbled in the door.
“Where were you?” Ari’s voice was even, but cold.
“Ariana!” She gasped, holding her hand over her heart. Ari pulled herself off the couch and walked over to her.
“Where were you?” She asked her again.
“I just had to… I had to go out. But I’m back,” her mother said, avoiding looking her eldest daughter in the eye.
“You left your fourteen year old daughter home alone in the middle of the night, mother,” Ari growled at her.
“She… she’s fine. She’s old enough to take care of herself. Besides, where were you!?” She asked, raising her voice at the end. That was the thing with her mother, she wouldn’t call anyone out on their shit until she was being cornered about hers.
“I was out making money for this god damn family!” Ari growled at her.
“Making money!?” She scoffed.
“Yes! To pay rent! To pay Robin’s tuition! To put food on the god damn table! What were you doing, mother!?” Ari yelled, grabbing her wrist to pull her toward her, enough so she could look her in the eyes.
“You’re fucking loaded! What are you on?” Ari spat at her.
“Let go of me!” She yelped, pulling her arm out of Ari’s grasp, her eyes narrowing darkly.
“You think I don’t know about your addiction, mother! I fucking know!” Ari yelled at her as she moved passed her into the living room.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Ariana!” Her mother screamed at her.
“I know that you waste all your money on pills!” Ari snapped at her. Her mother whipped around, glaring at her daughter.
“You think you have me all fucking figured out, Ariana! My life isn’t easy!” She yelled.
“You’re life isn’t easy!? Oh please, mother,” Ari scoffed loudly.
“And what the hell do you have to worry about!?” She screamed.
“EVERYTHING! You have no fucking clue because you spend your life in this fucking halcyon daze! I have real shit to deal with that would scare the shit out of you, mother!” Ari growled.
“What the hell are you even talking about!?” She asked, her eyes narrowing. Ari’s mouth closed immediately. She knew she already said too much.
“What the hell are you talking about, Ariana?” She spat again.
“Nothing. Just go to bed,” Ari scoffed at her, retreating back a few steps.
“That’s right,” she said, just having to get in the last word.
Ariana rolled her eyes as she stalked off to her room. She laid down in her bed, pulling her legs up against her chest. Her mother had no clue what she had to deal with on a day to day basis – how much she was sacrificing for this family, how hard it was to sell her body to keep this family afloat, how she found a boy she really felt she could have something with and she had to turn and run. She had no idea.
Ari quietly began sobbing into her pillow, letting herself break down for the first time in a long time.

She sat on the couch the next morning, scrolling through her Facebook page. Nothing ever happened on Facebook – just a bunch of people she couldn’t care less about, talking about things that were completely pointless.
With a huff, she closed out of the browser. She had nothing to do. She was home with Robin while her mother slept off her drugs. Ari looked around, bored out of her mind before peering back at her laptop. She opened the browser once again and typed ‘Harry Styles’ into the search engine. She was pathetic, but she didn’t care.
Clicking on the images tab, she watched as many pictures opened of his face. It was almost overwhelming. That was the boy she stripped for not even a week ago. That was the boy who wanted to slow things down because he didn’t know her that well. That was the boy she spent hours talking to before they fell asleep together. That was the boy she left behind, knowing they could never have anything resembling a real relationship, or friendship for that matter. She sighed heavily.
“Why are you looking at pictures of One Direction?” Robin asked from behind her.
“HOLY SHIT!” Ariana yelped, nearly throwing her laptop off her lap. Robin giggled at her as she plopped down on the couch.
“You suddenly have the hots for them?” She asked, leaning over to look at Ari’s computer screen again.
“No,” she scoffed.
“Harry. That’s Harry,” Robin pointed out.
“What do you know about Harry?” Ari asked, eyeing her.
“He’s the youngest in the band. I think he’s like, going solo now though,” she said with a shrug.
“He is?” Ari asked curiously.
“Yeah. I think so,” Robin told her. Ari nodded, looking down at the small images of the handsome boy on her screen.
“Niall, though. Niall is the cutest,” Robin said, smirking at her. Ari eyed her skeptically.
“What?” She laughed.
“Harry is probably the best looking person I’ve ever seen in my life,” Ari told her.
“Have you seen Niall?” Robin asked seriously. Ari thought back on the night a week before. She was pretty certain most of the members of One Direction were there, she just didn’t know their names.
Ari shook her head and let out a laugh. Were they really arguing about this?
“They’re in One Direction, Robin. Neither of us have a shot in hell,” Ariana told her, trying to keep a smile on her face even though there was a very noticeable sting in her chest.
“You might not. Me and Niall, though…” She laughed.
“Keep dreaming!” Ariana laughed out loud, shoving Robin’s shoulder. She laughed too as Ari’s phone began ringing.
“I’ve got to take this, Rob. I’ll be back up in a little bit,” Ari said, grabbing her purse and jetting out the apartment door.
When she looked down at the phone, she noticed it was an unknown number. It wasn’t unusual for a client to block their phone number when calling her though. In fact, most of them did. She answered quickly as she took the stairs down to the ground floor to have a cigarette and to talk in private.
“Ari…” She heard a male’s voice.
“Uh…” She stammered as her heart began beating wildly in her chest. It was him.
“Hey. It’s Harry,” he said, confirming what she already knew.
“Yeah… yeah, I got that,” she said quietly, feeling a lump forming in her throat. Why was he calling her? What did he want?
“I uh, I got your number from Jude. I-I hope that’s okay,” he said. Ariana cleared her throat before she could speak.
“Uh, yeah. That’s okay,” she spoke quietly. It really wasn’t okay. Not with the way she couldn’t stop thinking about him. What the hell did he want?
“Uh, I was just… I just wanted to…” He sighed, sounding as if he couldn’t find the words to say. Ari was holding her breath waiting for him to speak again.
“I just really want to see you,” he said finally. No, no, no. Oh god, no. He can’t do this.
“Ari, are you there?” He asked after a moment.
“I’m here,” she squeaked out.
“Can I see you? I mean, can we… can we hang out again?” He asked.
“Harry…” She breathed lowly.
“Listen, I know Jude hired you, okay. But I don’t care. I-I like you. I wanna… I wanna get to know you better,” he told her. Oh, god.
“Harry… just…” She sighed, finding herself speechless. How could she let him down gently?
“Just, Ari. In my line of work, it’s hard to find people I’m compatible with. I just… it’s hard to know if they’re genuine or not,” he began. He had no idea how close he was hitting to home. In her line of work, she faced the same issues.
“And with you… with you, I know you are,” he told her.
“You don’t know that,” she said quietly.
“I have my instincts, Ariana. And I felt something happening between us,” he said, causing Ari to sigh. He needed to stop this. He needed to stop being so perfect. He really just needed to stop saying things like that. He was making this incredibly difficult.
“But you’re in One Direction and I’m a… I’m a… a stripper,” she choked out, unable to say the word ‘hooker’.
“I won’t judge you if you won’t judge me,” he said evenly.
“Gahhh,” she sighed.
“Just see me. I can come to you,” he said.
“No! No, no,” she said quickly.
She sure as hell didn’t need him coming around here. Not with her pill-popping mother and her little sister who had the hots for his band mate. No.
“Okay. Then meet me,” he offered.
“Harry…” Ari sighed.
“Just meet me,” he coaxed. Ari sighed again as she finally lit her cigarette.
“Where?” She conceded.
“I don’t care where. I mean, we can even meet out in public if you want,” he offered.
“I don’t think it would be good to be seen in public together,” she told him. Not with the paparazzi around, who had evil ways of finding out information on people. The last thing she needed was someone digging around for dirt on her.
“Then meet me at my place,” he told her.
“Harry…” She sighed again.
“Ari, come on. What are you afraid of? Liking me back?” He asked. Her mouth went dry. Liking him back? That was exactly what she was afraid of. But she conceded anyway.
“Fine,” she sighed.

Notes

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