Underneath

“Just a minute!” Harry shouts, as we jump back into our clothes. Then, he’s the perfect host as he opens the door. “You’re Harry Styles!” I hear Mia say as she enters, transfixed. “Who wants a drink?” he says keen to leave? “Me!” I say, “me!” Mia chimes in.

Harry leaves and Mia rushes over. “Did you just shag Harry Styles?” she asks, eyes burning with jealousy. “Yeah,” I say, not knowing how to explain myself. “Fucking hell!” she says, processing the situation. “He took your virginity?” she asks still amazed. “yeah!” I say. I check the door adding covertly, “and now I think he wants a threesome!”. “Me and you?’ Mia asks, stunned.

“OK, one each!.” Harry sweeps back in with three glasses, handing one to Mia first. “Hey, babe,” he says to Mia, “why don't you go upstairs and order some more drinks? We’ll be up in a minute.” Mia widens her eyes at me but takes his room key anyway. As she sashays out, Harry takes my chin in his hand.

“You’re angry at me?” he asks with puppy dog eyes. “Yes!” I answer, “no, I don't know, what the hell was that?” He looks contrite and kisses me. “Can we start again?” he asks…

…Upstairs , Harry grabs a quick shower while me and Mia argue in rasped whispers. Neither of us want a threesome, but I’m certainly not going to fall on my sword and leave her with him! At one point I hear myself say, “I saw him first!,” Pathetic!

“Thats a really pretty dress Mia!” Harry exclaims as he enters with a towel wrapped round his waist. His wet torso is so inviting, I don't know how I keep it together. “Give us a twirl!” he asks, openly admiring her body. Mia moves to a space and twirls round, spilling her drink as she goes. (she’s a bit pissed by now) Harry takes her waist as she dances and starts kissing her face. Suddenly I have a horrible vision of watching them passionately shag while I stand by, holding the coats.

Harry unzips her and the dress swirls to the floor. Now, Mia had more time than me to prepare for tonight. The matching black lacy, bra, pants stockings and garter belt get up make my heart sink to my shoes; she looks awesome. Bitch!

“Wow!,” exclaims Harry, genuinely impressed. They grind together as his hands move all over her body. My soul sears with jealousy, he was mine before she arrived! “You’re amazing,” he mutters quietly to her and Mia glows with delight, pulling him in for a kiss. “Get on the bed,” he orders. I take a huge swig of wine. Here we go! Pass the fucking coats!

I watch horrified, as he puts her into the doggy position and gets behind without looking at me once. He drops the towel and thrusts into her roughly, holding her hips tight. Mia groans, clearly enjoying the sensation. His whole demeanour is aggressive, so different to how he was with me. He grabs her hair and yanks back her head withdrawing quickly. Then he plunges into her anally and she screams out. I feel like I’m watching a car crash on slow motion. I’m so eaten with jealousy I sincerely hope she's hurting right now. He rides her for a while as she pants and yelps.

Amazingly, he stops without coming and picks up Mia’s dress. “Thanks!” he says zipping her back in and smacking a buttock. How about you come back in half an hour? With that he escorts her out and comes back to me.

We lay on the bed gazing at each other. “Are you going to do that to me?” I ask. His face softens as he slides a hand between my thighs. “I want to make you come,” he murmurs, moving in close to me.

Once there, he lets me touch his face like I’m blind and learning to see for the first time. The same features in the same place as the rest of us but: arranged by a creator with such profligate disregard for the perils of great beauty, that I fall to my knees a bruised and repentant believer.

I could cradle his face in my hands for eternity and never become worthy of ownership. I know many people look at him and feel only lust, see only the hard veneer of celebrity or the cartoon absurdity of ‘boyband.’

Not me. I see the faceted and crystalline lure of a lighthouse. In my wildest imaginings I follow the light and it guides me safely home…but…here, alone in the darkness, I fear I’ve already been dashed on the rocks.

A wicked smile sparkles in his eyes. “I’ve got a present for you,” he says. Is he taunting me? I close me eyes and hold out my hands out grinning widely. “No, No,” he laughs. “Close your eyes and open your legs.” he adds as his hand moves to the bedside drawer…

Notes