13 - Safe
“It’s getting late, perhaps we should go on to sleep. I want you to get enough rest for tomorrow.’’ Mr. Styles says – I know he told me to call him by this first name but honestly it’s hard to, at least in my head it is. I like to refer to him as Mr. Styles in my mind, for some reason.. I don’t know if that makes any sense or not? He brings me from my thoughts as I feel his hand press against my cheek firmly.
I dart my eyes to his face to see him staring at me while looking really concerned. “Everything alright? You just zoned out for a few seconds.’’ Harry mumbles, his eyebrows lowered as he kept his eyes staring into mine. I don’t know if I can cope with referring to him as that, but I guess I have to try.
“Anna Lisa.’’ His voice uttered out my name as I continued to gaze into his emerald irises, I used to wonder if it was possible to get lost in something, and tonight I finally found out that that is indeed true – mainly because I just got lost in Mr. Styles’ eyes and I can’t find my way out. I hear his voice speaking to me, I can feel his warm, soft skin pressing against mine, and I can see him lying beside me – but I just can’t respond.
“Baby, are you okay?’’ That one little word was a situation turner for me, I blinked a few times and realized that I needed to speak back to him. His face showed concern and worry, and so did his words. “Are you feeling bad?’’ He asks, continuing to pressure me into answering him, which I know I need to before things get bad, if they get bad that is. He seems calm at the moment, but I just know that can change.
“S-sorry.. I.. I’m f-fine, s-sir.’’ I mumble, my words getting jumbled in my head as I move my eyes down to his chin, trying to find something else to stare at him other than his eyes – and as long as that something had some sort of a relation to his body I’ll be okay.
Mr. Styles releases a heavy sigh of relief as he leans a little closer to me, moving his entire body as well, leaving just a small amount of space between us. “You had me worried, love. I thought something was wrong.” He whispers, his eyes catching mine yet again. I try to control myself, compose my inner thoughts and calm down some. Just enough at least.
“S-sorry.’’ I breathe out, hoping that I haven’t made him upset in any way. “It’s okay. Now, like I was going to say, are you ready to go to sleep?’’ He asks me with a light smile. I give him a nod, not much more I can say or feel like saying. Mr. Styles nods as well before he rolls over onto his back, extending his arm towards the bedside table. I gulp gently to myself, knowing what’s next to come for me.
I’ve literally never sleep in a bed with anyone before. Mr. Styles has took so many of my firsts already tonight – my first kiss, my first time seeing male extremities, and a few more. So I guess he might as well claim this one too. But why am I acting like I don’t like this? Honestly I really like it and it’s much more exciting than I thought it would be. Of course I love the fact that Harry Styles kissed me in his bedroom. It’s not about who he is though, his personality attracts me and I just can’t stop.
I bite the inside of my cheek as he turns off the lamp. I can still see him, the curtains on one of the windows weren’t closed all the way so a little bit of moonlight made its way into the room. I rest my hand on the pillow, giving my hand some rest. Mr. Styles slides beside me, his body heat engulfing me. His arm goes around my waist, the under pushes between my head and the pillow.
“Is this okay?’’ He asks in a mumble as he pulls me closer to him, one hand on the small of my back and the other on the back of my head. I smile gently against his bicep, I like this more than I probably should but just as much as anyone else would, perhaps even more than that. “Yes sir.’’ I whisper in to him as I close my eyes, for once in my entire life I’m not afraid to close my eyes.
Almost every single night I have nightmares, but something about this night is screaming to me, saying that I will have a good dream and not to worry about a thing. I start to wonder though, is it the night silently saying that.. or is it Mr. Styles?
My hand touches against his chest and I move it back quickly, I don’t know if it would be the right thing to do or not. “Baby, if you want to touch me.. don’t be afraid, I don’t bite on the first night.” Harry chuckles to me, his laugh filling my ears and bringing a smile to my face. I slide my left arm around his torso, the other staying between us. I allow my right hand to press against his chest, the feeling and the sound of his heartbeat began to calm my nerves.
“Goodnight, sweetheart.’’ Harry murmurs the words out, his lips against my forehead as he gives me a gentle kiss. “Goodnight.’’ I reply softly, my lips brushing his skin. Finally, after all of these years of living in fear of the unknown and even of the very well known.. I feel completely safe.
///updates soon :):) feedback always welcomed!\\ •how is it going? Too slow, too fast..?? Perfect, horrible??