Hello, Darcy.

The violet silk dress lay flat on my bed as I stood at the foot starting to become indecive of agreeing to even go to prom with Chelsea and Andy, including Alex. The many possibilities of tonight being the most disastrous it could ever be, including the awkwardness.

I almost took down one roller from my hair until my conscious beats me, telling me to go. Making me feel guilty if I don't, which is true. I'd back out on my best friend whom I already pushed away before and I'd push out someone who's trying to help and reach out to me, Alex. Figured I'd have some fun for once since I haven't in a while. I leave the hot rollers in my hair and walk over to my vanity. Makeup is already laid out, and I planned on something simple. Dad offered to take me to get my hair and makeup done, but I rejected his offer, thinking probably they would go overboard and make me look like a drag queen.

As simple as I said I would be, I applied only a few coats of mascara, a little dab of foundation, swiped a bit of blush and baby pink gloss. Not too shabby, I thought, better looking like this than a drag queen. I took out the rollers from my hair, and brown bouncy waves cascaded down my back. I sprayed a bit of hairspray and brushed out the curls to be loose, and I was set.

I took off my robe and slowly brought the dress down, slipping into it carefully. The strapless material wasn't so hard to put on, but I'd struggle on a bit. I wish someone were here to help me, someone in particular, Mum. I wish that she'd see this dress on me and tell me how beautiful I look, or even bug the hell out of me taking photos endlessly. My imagination took me to the edge, almost bringing me to tears. But I quickly shook off the thoughts. I didn't even realize that I was standing right in front of the mirror, with my appearance shaking me out of my thoughts and a whole new different person stood right in front of me.

My eyes drifted away from the mirror when I heard the doorbell ring accompanied by my Dad's obnoxious voice. "Darcy, Alex is here!"

I quickly slipped on my silver heels that matched the diamond band of my dress. I spritzed on some perfume. And before I could get caught in a long glimpse of myself, I didn't look in the mirror but instead I found myself staring at Mum's picture by my bed. Without hesitating, I hurriedly walked to it and clasped it to my chest. "Wish me luck, Mum."

I placed it back on the counter and headed down the stairs. I could feel my heart racing with excitement and horror, the two mixed was not a good feeling. I wanted this night to be well and not end up in disaster, although Alex wasn't my planned date I at least want to make the best of it and try to be happy. As I walked down the stairs I practically started feeling numb and I took my time walking dow the steps, also making sure not to trip over in these skinny heels. Just before I could even look up I heard Alex's voice. "Wow,"

My eyes widened as my eyes landed on Alex. I've never seen him in a suit and my eyes wandered all over him, he was handsome. His hair slightly messy but still done in a slight quiff. I felt shy suddenly as Alex caught me looking. I didn't even notice my Dad was standing right next to Alex, nodding in approval of my sight. And just as I made it to the floor, Alex swiftly walked over to me, and held his hand out. I gladly took it without hesitating and I could feel my cheeks rise with heat.

"Lovely couple, I'd say." Dad muttered. Alex chuckled in response.

"Shall we g-"

"Wait, before you both leave-" Dad pulled out a small compact camera from his pocket and turned it on. "I need to take some pictures,"

I let out a small groan but Alex only laughed. "Okay you two, look happy and smile!"

Alex wrapped his arm around my waist and we both stood still with our cheeks hurting from keeping a smile. Dad flashed his camera multiple times causing our eyes to burn. Until then, he was finally finished.

"I think we'll be blind before we even reach the place," I complained as I blinked my eyes multiple times, still seeing little black dots.

"As long as our picures look fine, it'll be worth it." Alex smiled. I chuckled in response.

"Okay, I don't want to hold up the two of you," Dad interrupted. "Now Alex, just take care of my little girl and be safe!"

By then Alex and I both made it out to the front. Much to my surprise he didn't rent a limo, which I was in relief, I didn't need any of that honestly. Instead Alex used his car that must've cost multiple houses. He opened my door and closed it for me as I sat. I smiled in response and waited until he got in.

...

"So what's this place called?" Alex asked.

"Primrose Hills," I replied.

"Sounds fancy," He replied.

I chuckled. "I'm pretty sure it is, though I'm pretty you're used to it."

He laughed at my joke.

The whole way to Primrose Hills was silent, although not a hint of awkwardness was found. The nice countryside road was soothing and beautiful driving through the night.

"Almost there, I think," Alex smiled. I nodded. Just then I got a text from Chelsea saying her and Andy already arrived.

"Chelsea and Andy just arrived," I said.

"That's nice, hopefully we're not late." He jokes.

"More like a bit too early," I giggled.

Finally we arrived, and the sight of pillared gates were astonishing. We drove down the driveway and we were lucky to enough to find parking near the villa, might I say, we were pretty early. Before I could even the door myself, Alex lightly grabbed my arm.

"No, let me do that," He said before rushing to get out and opening my door. I shook my head and giggled.

"Gentleman, you are." I laughed. We both started to walk near the villa and I could already feel excitement.

"Darcy?" I turned around to find Alex already behind.

I raised my eyebrow up in curiosity. "Yeah?"

He didn't move one bit, so I walked slowly to him. "Something wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head and within one second he took out a clear box from behind him with a violet corsage inside of it. My eyes went back and forth to Alex and the pretty violet.

"For you," He opened the box and took out the corsage, placing the clear box on the ground. He held my hand out and carefully tied it around my wrist, the violet corsage matched
perfectly with my dress.

"You didn't have to get this," I said softly. He shook his head before chuckling and pointing to the violet pinned to the right pocket of his suit.

"Wow, thank you." I said shyly. Before he put my hand back down, he brought it up and kissed it softly with his hand. And again I felt the rush of heat in my cheeks.

"Come on," He smiled and gestured his head towards the villa. I smiled back in response.
I hadn't even noticed that he was holding my hand the entire time we were heading towards the villa. Many people were already arriving, and couples were taking multiple pictures. By the time we entered the place, it was huge. Just like home, there were two staircases leading to one. But the place wasn't exactly a villa home inside, it was a ballroom. Our eyes scanned the entire place in amazement.

"Alex- Darcy!" I turned around to see Chelsea along with Andy. They both sent warm smiles as they came near. Chelsea was beautiful, and I was relieved that she wore a different dress that was more loose but still fitting other than the black one she wanted. It was strapless just like mine but the jewels were placed above her chest. The material flowed effortlessly. On the other hand Andy was dressed in a black suit with a cream dress shirt to match Chelsea's dress. He was looking pretty dapper himself.

"You look amazing!" Chelsea chirped, grabbing me from Alex.

"Are you kidding? You look hot!" I chuckled.

"Alex!" Andy shouted and shook hands with Alex. Alex did the same and were both playfully shoving each other.

"Darcy," Andy smiled and pulled me in for a small hug.

"Looking very James Bond," I joked and touched Andy's light brown slick hair.

"Yeah, yeah double o' seven here on duty." He added. We all laughed and chuckled.

"Shall we get going ladies?" Alex suggested. We all nodded in response, and merely before walking, he held out his arm, making me link arms with him. I didn't oblige and eventually did once we started walking.

The place was getting packed every minute and couples were already heading to the dance floor, instead we all stood awkwardly by the punch table just chatting and looking at each other.

Chelsea nudged my rib cage with her elbow, instantly causing me to turn my attention to her.

"Go on and dance," She said as she gestured her cup filled with punch to the dance floor.

"Not my thing," I shook my head. She sighed and turned to Andy. I watched as she flirtatiously whispered something into his ear, causing me to feel my face cringe. He nodded and held his hand out for her, with Chelsea happily taking it, they went to the dance floor and disappeared before my eyes. I turned to Alex who had his lips pierced together in a tight smile.

"Sorry if you wanted to dance, it's just not my thing." I explained shyly. He began to laugh.

"Don't worry about it love, I'm no good either," He laughed.

"So we're going to stand here all night, I guess?" I chuckled.

"No, we're going to stand here all night and drink punch." He explains. I nod with a weak smile on my face. I actually hope that we wouldn't be standing all night drinking punch miserably.

"Alright everyone, we're going to take things real slow here, so grab your special someone... this is Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran," The DJ said. My eyes widened and my heart raced abruptly.
"I'm pretty sure we're not so bad at this though," I hear Alex say audibly. My eyes are still fixated on the couples and my eyes try not to travel to Alex, but of course they still did. He held out his hand for me to take. I gulp nervously before placing my hand over his and he slowly walks us to the dance floor.

The rhythm of Kiss Me played so softly and I hadn't even noticed the other couples in the room since it was really silent. Just as Ed started to sing, I felt Alex wrap his arms around my waist slowly and carefully. My eyes unexpectedly were caught in his and for a minute I didnt blink. Something felt so different, not a weird different, but a good different. A genuine smile curled his lips and gave me a nod. We began to move slowly and synched with the song, this wasn't too bad. There was nothing done wrong and I swore at this moment, nothing could ever be perfect by the way we moved. We were graceful. I was starting to feel comfortable and eventually placed my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and let Ed's soothing voice sink into my ears.

It felt like an eternity, but still ended too quickly. Alex slowly ran his hand down my back, causing shivers to run down my spine. He let go of me slowly, but suddenly pulled me back gently. Our faces were just centimeters away and within a second, I felt the warmth of his lips pressed lightly on my cheek. I didn't even feel the heat any longer for my cheeks were heating as well. I bit my lip as he finally pulled away. I was to shy to look up but I could feel his stare burn right through me.

Couples soon seperated and I found myself in a quiet state with Alex. No sign of Andy nor Chelsea yet appeared. "I'm going to head to the ladies room really quick," I said.
Alex nodded and gave me a small smile. "I'll wait right here,"

I nodded and carefully made my way through the crowds, trying not to trip over anyone's dress. The room was becoming too crowded and stuffy for my comfort and my body started to feel uncomfortably hot. As of now I needed some fresh air and not make a trip to the loo where probably thousands of girls are stuffed. Just as I made it out the doors and in the hall, I headed straight outside. I finally felt alive, and the cool air majestically soothed me. Only a few couples were outside socializing, mostly snogging each other's faces off and minding their own business. It was fine with me, for now. I just didn't want to worry anymore about anything. And honestly, the situation I found myself with Alex worries me.

Alex was inevitable at this moment and there was no possible way to slip right out of his sweet mind. I try not to get myself wrong and just assure myself that he's just trying to look out for me. For months I know he's been giving signs of fancying, and I know I've never returned any of it back. I've never felt any of it before, but tonight something felt different. I don't want to lead him on, I know that would just ruin everything he's done for me. Then again, I know I'll just break his heart if I reject him...Like i've said, Alex is inevitable.

I sit by a nearest fountain and cross my hands together. I play with my thumbs and hope that Alex won't find me anytime sooner, I just wanted space for right now. Though I've probably already ruined his night. I guess I've ruined my own night too, I told myself to try to be happy and have fun, but I guess that just didn't happen.

"Darcy?" Someone calls from behind. My eyes blink once and are kept staring at the ground. The familiar voice makes me furrow my eyebrows. Great, just when I wanted to have some space, Alex found me. For a minute I feel nervous telling Alex to back off and give me some space, but I'm in need of having some time alone and to think, it won't hurt.

"Alex look-" I turn around and my heart drops down to my stomach instantly. But after the bitter second, my heart yearns as it beats and races fast.

"Ryan?" My voice falters and my eyes abruptly sting with tears. I take a minute to observe him, he was dressed in formal attire, a black suit. I try to blink many times hoping that my insane thoughts aren't tricking me. But the tall figure still stood multiple times. Within a second, I throw myself into his arms and him taking me in and holding me tightly. Time stood still and I swore I felt time freeze for the longest time. I couldn't feel anything better than to be in Ryan's arms. He then let me go slowly and then leaned in, closing the gap between us as our lips touched. Desperate my lips were for his, my lips and his lips were rough but still passionate. It burned so much that I didn't mind, I just wanted to feel him with or without pain.
"I missed you," He mumbled into our kiss and let our lips seperate. He was still a centimeter away from me and our noses were still touching.

"I missed you," I smile with still teary eyes. I find myself making his moment hard to believe.

"Thought you'd be leaving soon," I say softly. His brown eyes meet mine and peer through me.

"Can't leave without saying goodbye," He explained softly. I nodded. We were silent for a second before he gestured his head towards the villa.

"Come on, let's go inside." He suggested. I looked around before returning my eyes towards him.

"Can we um- can we leave?" I asked shyly as I felt my cheeks flush. "Go some place else?"
I looked down shyly but soon looked up and caught a kind smile on his face. He nodded before holding his hand out, I gladly accepted it as he lead me out of the place.

...

The ride to the unfamiliar place was so peaceful. Not have I ever felt anything so calming, and with Ryan next to me, it was too surreal. But I knew that all of this would be gone until Ryan would be gone. As of now I was beginning to feel guilty and angry but at the same time happy. I was guilty that I had left Alex standing alone and angry that I would just let myself accept Ryan once again, but then I was happy. Happy that I was with him again. And throughout this night I knew I would be having this smile on my face. The screen on my phone blinked many times, having multiple messages from Andy, Chelsea and Alex. I felt guilty leaving them, let alone Alex, but I gulped the lump in my throat as I turned off my phone.

Minutes later we pulled up into a small hotel. It wasn't too fancy and all but just nice.

We were both out of the car and he led us both to check in. He held my hand the entire time and it felt just like old times, short old times, but they were good while it lasted.

"Ready?" Ryan's audible voice catches me and I nod eagerly. The lady working at the check in gives us our key, Ryan thanks her and grabs my hand as we almost run down the halls. We make it to room 5 and before Ryan could even open the doors, I crash my lips onto his. He chuckled into the kiss and moved his lips with mine, but he pulled away to open the door.

We made it in, in silence. The beige walled rooms looked dainty, almost vintage, but it was nice. The lampshades on each side of the bed over a brown drawer were dainty and dim, it was a romantic setting I'd say. But I didn't even have a second look to observe before Ryan carefully pushed me towards the wall. Not aggressive enough to hurt me but enough for him to let himself closer to me. Our eagerness, or my eagerness made up for the times I've missed his touch or his kisses.

He shut the door with his foot and contuining where we left off. He brought his lips over mine and I quickly snaked my arms around his neck bringing him closer to me. I was so desperate for him. His lips trailed down to my jaw and eventually down to my neck. Quick gasps escaped my mouth as he reached my sweet spots.

My eagerness was reaching high and I brought up my hands to unbutton his suit. His lips met mine again and didn't dare move them when he took off his suit. I moved us both as we stood over the bed. I unbuttoned his white shirt that he wore under, with him peeling it off.

I felt the back of my knees reach the bed, and there I fell swiftly on it with him still hovering over me. No words were said but our desperate touches made it too obvious. I melted within his kiss and no other feeling could compare to what I was feeling now. He slowly pulled us back up without breaking the kiss and I felt his hand on my back, hearing the zipper of my dress. I felt the cold air instantly blow at my skin as the dress pooled down to my feet.

It didn't take long before we were both bare and underneath the thick white duvet. No matter how close we were and no matter how our skin was pressed against each other, I still felt so far away from him. I guess it was because we haven't been around each other for the longest time, and it hurt. But with the moment right now feeling like short old times, I blended in with it. But with the thought of him leaving tomorrow, I just wanted to stop what we were doing and figure out things the right way, but at the same time, everything just felt too good to give up.

We both came to our highs and he placed soft kisses from my chest to my neck and trailed up to my forehead and finally at my lips. The last kiss was soft and slow, and he rested over me before rolling over to my right side.

I couldn't even process what was going in my mind and it hit me like whiplash, I curled up next to him as he laid on his side. He was watching me. He slowly brought up his hand and brushed my forearm, creating goosebumps. I shivered at his touch whilst still watching me. The full moon outside still created a bright light that shone into the room.

Once I looked into his eyes, I could feel my eyes begin to pool with warm tears, but I blinked fast. I could feel my heart slowly crumble into pieces, I couldn't take it anymore.

I bit my lip before I could even choke out a word. "I missed you,"

He just nodded and continued to brush my arm, creating strokes with his finger.

"You wouldn't quite get how much I missed you," His voice was low and husky.

"Nor would you even understand how much I'd miss you when I leave."

"You're leaving tomorrow." It came out more of a statement than a question and to know that he was already leaving tomorrow in the morning just crushed me even more.

"What's going to happen to us?" I ask softly, "Where does this lead us?"

His eyes didn't dare move from my direction.The tears were threatening to leave my eyes soon but I couldn't cry, not in front of him.

Although my eyes were blurry, I could still see him and he pursed his lips together so tightly they were almost pale.

"Let's...Let's just leave things the way they were before this-" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Just don't say anything that's going to make this even harder,"

But I did. I wanted to say I love you and damn right did he read my mind, and I know that he wanted to say it too , but he was right, it would just hurt us more.

"I'd call you every night, I'd text you or I'd even get on a plane to see yo-"

"It's not easy as it would seem, Darcy." He interruped.

"You've got a life ahead of you, I don't want you to keep hurting because of me."

"You can't stop me from hurting because of you, so what if I want to?" I snap.

"Don't waste your tears over me, Darcy, before you know it we'll forget about each other and we'll move o-"

"Just don't." The thought of him not being in my life made me sick to my stomach, I wanted him in my life, even if we were no longer together anymore.

"You can do so much better than me," He stated. I shook my head, there is no other person in the world that I could see myself with except Ryan.

His hand trailed down my hand, and he entwined his fingers with mine, clutching them tightly.
"I'm sorry," His voice shook and he was almost on the brink of tears.

I lost. I kept trying to fight, but I was defeated, it was impossible to fight any longer so I just forced myself to understand. I nodded with the flood of tears in my eyes.

There was silence, silence between us before I opened my mouth and choked out.
"I'm never going to see you again, am I?"

He shook his head and there the heartbreaking response burnt out the last flame within me. Since then, I was dark.

"So this is goodbye?"

He nodded, I then let the painful held in tears to flow endlessly down my face. I closed my eyes, not wanting to catch another glimpse of him, it would only hurt more. But that didn't stop him from getting closer to me. I felt his lips draw nearer and nearer and finally I felt them. It was heartbreaking yet so loving and gentle. I hated it, but I loved it.

He broke the kiss carefully and low sobs escaped from my mouth. He then placed one last kiss on my forehead before holding me tightly, for the last time.

Notes

:((((( It's been a while, yes I want to cry. I'm sorry I haven't been on here for such a long time and I'm a bad person for not updating. I've been so focused on school that I forgot but on the bright side I passed my CAHSEE which means I get to graduate. HELL YEAH! Anyways, I also took a break from writing because I wanted to read other fics and I've read so many good ones for the past month and compared to mine, mine is crap! I was looking over the older chapters of this story and I would cringe because of the unorginallity/ horrible grammar and I'm trying to fix it. I've also been writing a real story that I want to publish some time next year if it gets finished (hopefully). But besides me ranting about my personal life, let's get on with the story! First off, did you guys enjoy it? Did you expect any of that? And remember 5 more chapters to go until "HD" is done and a possibility of a sequel. I really love and appreciate each and every one of you that reads this story no matter how bad it is. Please comment down below of what you guys think. <33

-Vanessa.