Spring vacation was doing me no good. Living in a new large home with completely no one living in it. Everything was just so different now, and I didn’t know if Chelsea on the other hand was still okay from the other day. I still didn’t bother calling her for I didn’t want to get on her nerves.

The party was this Saturday already and it’s already Thursday. I haven’t had any contact with Ryan and I was ready to pull hair out right from my scalp. I was going crazy, and I didn’t want it to be this way. I didn’t want to seem like some teenage psychopath.
I walk downstairs to only be greeted by an empty house, eerie. I find a note placed on the table near the door.

Went out to do some errands- Dad x

I sighed as I crumpled the paper in my hand as I walked into the kitchen. Since Dad wasn’t here to fix up some burnt breakfast, I had to fend for myself.

Luckily there was a box of cereal in one of the cabinets, so much for reaching with the very ends of my tip toes. I grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher and a spoon. I opened the fridge and grabbed some milk. I checked the date to see if it was expired, luckily it wasn’t. I poured the cereal and milk and began munching away.

Breakfast was oddly silent except for the sound of my chewing. I began thinking of what I needed or wanted to do today, for the past few days I had done nothing except lay in my bed like a lunatic. Cabin fever was surely getting to me.

..

As soon as I finished getting ready, I felt my breath go unsteady. Now I wasn’t so sure if I was really going to do this. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. “Too late to turn back now, Darcy.” I muttered before grabbing my purse and headed out the door. I left a note on the table where Dad left his, hoping he wouldn’t freak that I left the house. I’d explain to him later.
I surely didn’t have a ride and the only transportation was the bus. The bus stop was about 10 minutes away from the mansion, of course. City life and gated areas. This is what I hated most about private residences.

..

“Too late to turn back, Darcy.” I tell myself once again as my whole body stood in front of the tall building.

The automatic doors opened before me. The familiar hospital smell went up through my nostrils quickly.

I looked over to the counter to see no receptionist. I felt like a bad person intruding as I just walked by and began walking around, looking for Ryan.

A bunch of nurses and doctors didn’t even acknowledge my presence as I walked by patients rooms. I was making it to no where and I didn’t even know where I was heading, just hoping I’d see that familiar face again.

My whole body collided with a taller figure, making me feel like a klutz. “Oh god, I’m so sorry-“
“Darcy?” His familiar voice rung through my head. I looked up to be caught by his brown orbs glaring into my soul.

“Ryan,” My voice becomes soft and gentle. I feel myself blush and look down to smooth down the hem of my shirt.

“Darcy, what are you doing here?” He asks, I could tell he was displeased with me here with the tone of his voice.

“I came to talk to you.” I stammer. Confusion puzzled his face.

“I’m working right now Darcy, can’t you just call me later or something?” He asks. I feel a wave of disbelief. I feel the frown on my lips begin to curl.

“You don’t even answer your phone Ryan, that’s why I’m here!” I say, trying hard not to yell.
Instead coming off like a harsh whisper. “Also because I’ve been negle-“

“Please,” I beg, I start to feel small. He nods as he grabs my arm gently and takes us to a small corner where no one can see us.

“Is there something wrong that I did?” I add, breaking the silence. My voice is soft yet shaking with nervousness.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He states blandly.

“Then why are you ignoring me?” I ask, I feel desperate at this point.

“I told you I’m busy Darc-“

“Are you hiding something from me?” I ask. He shakes his head fervently.

“Look Ryan, if there’s something wrong you can always tell me- I’m here for you.” I say diligently.

“I know,” He says flatly. This conversation was going no where and I felt so weak, I was desperate for an answer.

I let a moment of silence pass before I begin to speak.

“I also came here to also tell you about a party my Dad is throwing me this Saturday, I’d really appreciate it if you would come.” I say. At this point I feel like I’m talking to a boss or someone proper.

He stands there just looking at the ground, silent. I feel like my work here is done and I can’t do anything else.

“That’s if you’re not busy.” I spat, one last time before turning around.

“Darcy!” Ryan yells as I take a step. I turn around to him still leaned over the wall.

“I-“

I raise my eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“Yes?” I ask, being hopeful. He shakes his head before standing up straight. Disappointment shatters my heart quickly. I feel the tears sting in my eyes.

“I thought so.” I respond. I turn around and take a few more steps before I feel him grab my arm, spinning me around.

“What Ryan? You know if you don’t want me anymore why don’t you just say so instead of leaving me hanging?” I cry, feeling the tears finally stroll down my cheeks. I feel like a little kid whining, feeling defeated.

He tries to reach out his hand to mine and I quickly pull it away.

“I’m not avoiding you Darcy, you know that I love you.” He instantly explains.

“Looks to me like you don’t.” I snap.

“Why don’t you just tell me the truth?” I demanded. He took a deep sigh before leaning in, he used his thumb to wipe away my tears and I didn’t budge. One minute I was mad at him and a minute later it was like I’m in love with him all over again.

“I love you Darcy,” He says softly before placing a soft kiss on my lips, catching me off guard.
I nod. “I just need an explanation,”

He gives me a puzzled look.

“Whatever’s bothering you, just tell me okay?” I ask. He nods and smiles, making his deep dimples revealing.

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready, I promise.” He whispers huskily.

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready, I promise…” Whatever is was, I didn’t know what to think of, should I be happy? Sad? Although I was thankful, yet relieved that he admitted to having a problem. It killed the curiosity inside of me for a while, but here I with a mind and heart meddling with desperation.

..

I start to feel nervous as I make my way through the long driveway. I saw Dad’s car already parked, he arrived home early.

I try to think of a million ways to try and apologize to Dad for sneaking out, but at least I left a letter on the counter right?

Just as I made it to the door I reached into my bag, trying to find the keys. I then remember that I still didn’t have my own set yet since we just moved here.

I take a deep breath and try to prepare what’s about to come my way. I lift my shaky hand up and click on the door bell.

A few seconds go by before I hear shuffling behind the door. Just then the door swings open, but quickly shuts almost half way. I see Dad’s curly mop of hair peeking through the crack of the door.

“Hi, Dad.” I say in a nervous tone.

“I’m sorry, who’s there?” He says sarcastically.

“It’s Darcy.” I say flatly and roll my eyes.

“Who?” He asks. I start to get annoyed and push my way through the door, making it inside. I was impressed that I was actually strong enough to push my way through Dad.

“Hey now!” He complains.

“You were blocking the door,” I mutter.

“Where were you anyways?” He asks.

“I went to visit Ryan,” I say as I look away, rocking back and forth on my toes.

“Did you not read the note I left on the counter?” I ask as I walk towards the stairs.

“Nope.” He said nonchalantly before he headed to his office. I was glad he didn't bother continue asking me questions, I wouldn't answer them anyway.
..

The darkness of the room took over as I opened my eyes. My chest was heavy and I was covered in droplets of sweat. I looked over to the clock, it was already 2 A.M. I hadn’t even noticed I fell asleep once I landed on the bed.

Something woke me up, a noise. I couldn’t identify it, until I heard it again. It was coming from outside, it was a tick. The ticking increased, causing my patience to abrupt. I slowly got up from the bed, trying not to knock over anything in the dark room; the only light of the illuminated moon shone through the sheer curtains.

I reached the doors that led to the balcony, letting my shaking hand hover over the door knob. My heart began to race in a fearful state, it could be a killer for all I know and here I was in a dark room with nothing but the sounds of crickets in silence. There was no turning back once I opened the door; I was met with a slight rush of cold air, but no sign of any human being.

“Hello?” My voice sounds quiet and odd, not sounding like myself. “Who’s there?”

I waited until my name was called out. “Darcy!” The voice was familiar, yet it sounded like a loud whisper. I couldn’t seem to see anyone.

“Darcy!” I heard the voice starting to draw nearer. “Darcy, down here!”

I couldn’t control myself as my head darted down to the backyard. From a distance, his brown eyes glistened, almost like a porcelain doll, it was impossible.

“Ryan!” I exclaimed from above the balcony. This felt so surreal, almost like that scene in Romeo & Juliet where he serenaded her in the dark night.

“What are you doing here?” I ask ever so curiously.

“I ne- wanted to see you.” He said softly. My heart was pounding abruptly.

“It’s late.” I stammer. He shakes his head in protest.

“I had to see you.” He said quickly. He sounded so convincing, like something so important had to be announced. “Please,”

I didn’t have time argue before he started climbing up the balcony ladder. I started to feel nervous, what if Dad caught me? I turned around to look inside my room to see if Dad would bust through the door any second.

The sound of Ryan’s feet landing made a soft but loud thud. “Shit,” I muttered.

“Hello,” He weakly smiled.

“Wait a second,” I say quickly before running inside to lock my door. I run back over to Ryan who seemed to tolerate the cold wind. I grab his wrist gently as I pulled him inside, closing the balcony doors after him.

For some reason, I no longer feel nervous but flustered of the fact that he’s here with me, right now. After what seemed like a century.

“I missed you,” He blurted out. I feel the warmness of his breath linger over my lips, I hadn’t even noticed that he was barely far away, he was standing less than an inch away from me.
“I know.” I mumbled, I was starting to feel weak and my knees were starting to feel like jelly.

Slowly, his arm snaked around my waist as he pulled me in closer. Now, only our breathing took over the sound of the room, melodic and soft. Everything suddenly felt at ease, every problem felt erased, everything felt so right, so perfect. Just held in his arms felt like heaven, if this is what heaven feels like, I’d surely love to stay in his arms forever. Even though we’ve gone through a rough stand this whole week, it never felt like I lost him inside of me. It was just his touch and his emotion that I needed to feel. I really do love him.

My eyes began to sting with tears, blinking constantly fast for they won’t fall. But surely enough they strolled down my cheeks quickly, and an unexpected sob escaped from my mouth. Ryan’s eyes still appeared in the dark, watching me with solemn eyes.

“Why are you crying?” His voice was soft and gentle. I felt his arm tug me in closer, and I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, my lips touching his soft skin.

“I love you,” The words escaped from my mouth before I could even think of it. My whole body and mind was infatuated with Ryan.

He pushed me a bit further but gently with his arms still wrapped around my waist. He smiled sweetly as he lifted his hand, cupping my jaw softly. He wiped away the remaining tears that were almost dry with his thumb.

He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I expected the 3 words to be returned right back, but instead I felt his lips suddenly brush over mine. Less than seconds I felt the burning sensation of his lips over mine. Our lips synched perfectly, not one move done wrong. The perfect feeling caused my eyes to fill with tears once again, causing our kiss to be salty but sweet.

Just then our kiss broke apart; Ryan staring down at me so merciful, he looked at me as if I he truly loved me.

He gave a slight nod, causing me to become puzzled.

“I lo-“

Without warning, he vanished. My eyes widened in horror, my heart beating rapidly in terror.

I woke up, choking on my own breath with my whole body covered in sweat. “Ryan?!” I gasped out.

I gulped, realizing it was all a dream. A perfect dream. Of course perfect doesn’t exist; only perfection sought out in dreams, twisting issued lives.

The room was still dark; everything was in place, just like in the dream.

I lifted my shaking hand up to lips. My heart sunk in disappointment for even when I woke up, I didn’t feel the passionate burning sensation on my lips after he kissed me.

This made me even wonder if Ryan still loved me. In my dream he did not once say the words, but the way he looked at me so caringly, it felt like he did love me.

I guess it was easy to say that while I’m still stuck in this lustful path, he was drifting away from it.

This distance was making me delirious.

Notes

Hello hello! How is everyone doing this lovely day/night? It's pouring here in California and it's ugly. Hmph.

Sorry for the long wait of this chapter, no better excuse to say but school. URGH! Found out that I failed the freaking math section for the CAHSEE testing, so now I basically have saturday class for it. Damn it. Lol, but that won't stop me from writing. Xx.

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, have you guys heard the song I can't make you love me by Bonnie Raitt?! Absolutely rad! Especially Adele's cover! It's what inspired me to write the dream and Darcy's situation with Ryan as of now. Btw, do you think I portray Darcy as a really desperate girl? I feel like I am, tell me! And since this story will soon be over, I really want to write a sequel so please if you have any suggestions comment down below !!

Enjoy x