Hello, Darcy.
Saving Grace.
I watched her intently with a blurry sight and swollen eyes, the only thing that was keeping her alive were the oxygen tubes. Hoping that the machine will still pick up her heartbeat and that she’d wake up and hear my loud sobs. I held her cold hand in mind, squeezing it gently. Then holding it up to my mouth as I kissed it reassuringly.
Suddenly a faint knock was on the door. I turned around to see the Doctor with a clipboard in his hand. “Mr. Harry Styles?” He asked, lowering his glasses to the bridge of his nose.
I nodded in response without talking.
“Are you Darcy Paige’s Father?” He asked curiously whilst marking his form.
“Yes.” I choked. “Do you- Do you know what’s wrong with her?”
He took a deep sigh and moved his glasses back up. “Mr. Styles, your daughter overdosed on painkillers.”
I felt my heart sink painfully down to my stomach, the thought of my own Daughter trying to commit suicide just failed me. “We’re you aware that your daughter had prescriptions of any sort?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Will she be okay?” I asked nervously.
“Well she’s lucky enough that she was rushed to the hospital, otherwise she wouldn’t have made it.” He said, with a hint of hope in his voice. Hope.
“So yes?” I asked eagerly.
“I can’t reassure you that she may or may not be alright… She’s still unstable and we can’t quite process anything yet.”
I nodded as the wave of disappointment pondered over me. “But do you think she will be okay?” I asked clearly.
He nodded hestitantly. “Just don’t loose hope.” He said. The word hope then reminded me of Doctor Ravenberg, and remembering him telling me about hope with Liv. This was all just too surreal.
“I’ll be back soon.” He smiled with pity as he gave my shoulder a little pat.
“You heard that Darcy?” I asked quietly, holding her precious hand.
“Just don’t loose hope.” I scoffed. “Funny thing is, Doctor Ravenberg said that about your Mother.” I couldn’t help but release a full tear or two, talking about Olivia.
“You lost hope, didn’t you? It’s the reason why you decided to take those pills?” I sobbed softly. “Darcy, please wake up.”
“I promised your Mum that I would be there by your side and watch you once she’s gone, and look at me. I’ve failed that promise. If I noticed what was going on with you any time sooner I would’ve tried to help. I know this is all hard on you and I know you’re not happy with the situation nor are you even happy with your life. I know that maybe even before me, your life was perfectly fine. But I made a promise to your Mum, who I loved most that I would provide happiness. Not only does she want that for you but I also do Darcy, you’re my only daughter… you’re all I have left.” My voice drifted as I couldn’t speak anymore, only chokes and sobs escaped loudly.
“I can’t loose you…” I said quietly, burying my face in her hand.
I began to drift off to sleep as I still held Darcy’s hand tightly, never letting go.
-----------------------------------------
Darcy’s P.O.V.
I gasped for air, feeling not being able to breathe for a long time. My squinted from the bright lights of the room, I then noticed the familiar mop of brown curls laying his head on my bed. I then noticed where I was, no in my bedroom… but the hospital. I gasped in shock, what have I done?
I didn’t even realize that my eyes were blurred with tears until the loud sobs escaped my mouth. I sobbed uncontrollably, throwing and bashing everything in sight and banging my fists on the wall. As much as my fists were bruised and swollen now, I didn’t care. The pain was bearable.Kill, Kill, Kil-The voices were back. No matter how much I try to avoid them, they kept ringing in my mind.Kill, Kill, Ki- They were getting louder and louder, demanding me in each way to Kill.I finally couldn’t take it anymore and ran into the bathroom, searching through every cabinet. Finally I settled on a prescripted bottle. Pain killers. One last time I thought thoroughly to myself if this is what I wanted, if this was my final decision to leave.Kill the voices answered quickly before me, and without hesitation I unscrewed the bottle, and poured the deadly white pills into the palm of my hand. Finally the last word in my mind Kill, as I gulped the pills in one.
I eventually crashed and calmed myself down as I laid on my bed feeling the heavy drugs kick in. I felt sick to my stomach, along with the room swirling and spinning.hugging my pillow tightly with smudged tears on my face, making the pillow cover damp. Tiny whimpers and sobs still managed to escape my mouth thinking of what I just did, but I gave the voices a chance. They got what they wanted, and now I finally lay here slowly leaving every little problem I had…
I tried to kill myself.
“Dad?” I nervously called out.
His head slowly moved up slowly, taking forever to look up at me. His eyes were bloodshot red, and his cheeks were smeared with dried tears. Suddenly his mouth shook as his eyes brightened so much, never had I seen so much happiness on his face.
“Darcy?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows in complete astonishment, almost as if I was unreal.
“Darcy, you’re awake!” He exclaimed and hugged me tightly, almost giving me no air to breathe.
“Yeah.” I choked with tears brimming the bottom of my eyes and releasing before I could even blink
“Darcy, why are you crying?” He coo’d.
“I-I- I just can’t believe what I did.” I said quietly. “I almost killed myself.”
“Sshhhh, Darc.” He said softly. “What matters is that you survived.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.” I whimpered.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about baby.” He smiled kindly. "If anyone should be sorry that should be me... I failed my promise to your Mum and that was to watch over you and keep you happy."
“I don’t know what I was thinking, I know you were trying to help me and you were trying to be a good Da-.” I argued.
“Everyone makes mistakes Darcy.” He complied. “Nobody’s perfect.”
“Will you just promise me something?” He asked clearly. I nodded.
“Promise me you’ll be happy and that you will never ever do this again.” He stated. “You know Darcy, I’m your Father and if you have any problems you can always tell me, always.”
I nodded as I gave him a small smile. “I promise.” I then brought up my pinky. He chuckled quietly as he brought his pink with mine, locking them together. I felt like a little kid again, locking pinky’s for promises. It was like I experienced keeping a first secret as child.
“Are you alright? Do you want me to call a nurse?” He asked quickly.
“I am hungry.” I admitted embarrassingly. He chuckled.
“I’ll be back then to get a nurse, alright?” He asked. I nodded as I watched him walk out of the room. I started thinking about the violent mistake I’ve done last night. An abrupt tear strolled down my cheek, for all I can feel is shame and remorse. If I died, I would’ve left my Dad here standing alone just right after Mum died, leaving him with nothing but sorrow. I am thankful that even though I almost died, I managed to survive. This was the last time I’d be given a chance at life. The last chance to ever be happy.
My thoughts were interrupted by a faint knock on the door. I quickly turned my head and before I could even see who it was, his familiar white coat and clipboard. “Ryan.” I said quietly.
“Darcy.” He said as his voice shook. His face was masked with worry and his eyes were brimmed with tears.
“You know you don’t need to knock, door is already open.” I joked, trying to brighten up the mood. I felt stupid and ashamed for letting him see me here, the day after I tried to kill myself.
His chuckle startled me, making my heart race. But his chuckle had no humor, only worry.
“Ryan, there’s no need for you to worry about me.” I stated. “Look, I’m fine.” I gestured my hands, showing the way I looked.
“Are you sure?” He asked. I nodded. He then sat next to me, occupying the chair that Harry sat on.
“I’m sorry Darc.” He choked. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
“For what?” I asked quietly.
“Be honest with me Darcy, was I the reason why you tried to ki-“
“No, no, no, no.” I blurted out. “Never Ryan, why would you think that?”
“Well because, I rejected your act.” He stated embarrassingly. My eyes widened in surprise. Ryan blamed himself.
“I mean, I did shed a tear or two that night you did but never would I have killed myself because of that.” I chuckled.
“Then what is it?” He asked curiously.
“My Mum.” I said quietly.
“Oh-I- I’m sorry Dar-“
“No, it’s fine-“
“Knock knock” A female voice said. I looked behind Ryan to see the nurse and Harry next to her holding a gray tray of cafeteria food.
“Ryan.” Harry smiled.
“Mr. Styles.” Ryan smiled back.
“Look, Darc… I’ll be done with work on an hour and I’ll be back to check on you okay?” He said softly. I nodded as he kissed my forehead softly. I couldn’t help but melt in this chaste kisses.
I earned a cheesy smile from the nurse and Harry smirking whilst Ryan walked out.
“How are you doing?” Harry smiled, placing the food down on the table next to me.
“Better.” I smiled.
“Alright Ms. Paige, I’m just going to check you up and you’ll get to eat soon.” She said.
“Now, will you please sit up?”
---------------------------------------------
“Food is not that bad.” I said, nodding as I slurped the chicken noodle soup.
“Really now?” Harry asked curiously whilst watching me eat. “Mind if I eat that roll then?” I shook my head as he grabbed the roll.
A knock was on the door again and Harry and I looked up in unison, meeting Ryan’s gaze, I noticed he was in his casual attire now, not wearing his white lab coat anymore. In his hand was a glass vase full of flowers.
“Hello.” He said awkwardly. Harry chuckled silently and exited the room.
“I’m sorry if I kicked out your Da-“
“Don’t worry about him, he likes to mingle with the old nurses anyways.” I chuckled. He chuckled along with me.
“I brought you flowers, you know… To bloom your day.” He stated. I laughed at his failed joke.
“They’re beautiful, thank you.” I smiled. He sat in the chair next to me again.
“Are you done eating?” He chuckled, looking at the tray of finished food. I nodded, blushing nervously as he moved the tray back on the table.
“How are you feeling?” He asked. I sighed.
“I’m fine Ryan, you keep asking me.” I chuckled.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay at all times.” He stated seriously.
“Why?” I laughed. I could tell I wasn’t taking this seriously.
“Because I care about you Darcy.” He blurted out. I stared deeply into his piercing brown eyes, not being able to spill out one word but my heart talked for me, racing.
“Okay.” I said quietly. I didn’t know what to say.
“Okay? That’s all you could say?” He asked. I could tell the slight anger in his voice, almost frustration.
“You’re confusing me Ryan.” I said.
“No- Darcy, how could you just say okay when I just told you that I care for you? How could you not see that I am and have fallen deeply in love with you, and I just need to know if you love me too but if you don’t just know that I can’t live with that.” He blurted out. His eyes widened as soon as those words spilled out of his mouth. Wow, I.
“You do?” I asked quietly as I examined the look on his face, his eyes lost in mine.
“I’m sorry Darc, this- I know this is all too fast for you bu-“ I cut him off by placing my lips over his, completing his sentence with a chaste kiss.
“I love you too.” I smiled. His face instantly brightened as he returned a kiss.
“I can’t loose you Darcy.” He said, barely above a whisper as our foreheads touched.
“Then don’t.” I whispered.
“Be mine?” He huskily asked. I nodded and I saw his eyes instantly brighten up. He instantly replace his smile with a kiss on my lips, feeling the soft spark.
“Darcy?” A familiar voice called out, interrupting Ryan and I’s kiss. I sighed in frustration, but my heart instantly dropped as soon as I saw the familiar blue eyes.
“Alex?” I smiled surprisingly, I noticed Ryan tense up as soon as he saw the flowers Alex was holding. They clearly resent each other as they ignored each other’s company.
“I heard what happened and your Dad called, so I thought I’d stop by and check to see if you’re okay.” He nervously smiled.
“I’m fine now.” I smiled.
“I brought you these…” He said, gesturing his hand to the flowers. “But I see, that you already have been brought some.” The disappointment in his voice was clear.
“Look Alex, if you don’t want to give the flowers to her then don’t.” Ryan interrupted. I squeezed his forearm tightly, trying to refrain him from talking anymore.
“And who do you think you are?” Alex asked angrily.
“I’m her boyfriend, thanks for asking.” Ryan replied sarcastically. I then remembered the time when I told Alex about “Ryan” as my boyfriend, but he wasn’t then. Although the wave of relief crashed over me as I knew now that Ryan is officially my boyfriend.
“Oh.” Alex said quietly. I was relieved when they both finally calmed down, I couldn’t take anymore drama after what just happened to me. There was a brief moment of silence and heavy breathing from the two.
“I’ll just leave now.” Alex said, placing the flowers down on the table and quickly dashing out the room.
“Atleast he left the flowers.” I stated nonchalantly. Ryan’s gaze turned to me, full of anger and confusion.
“Who was that kid?” He asked curiously.
“Dad’s friend’s son.” I stated.
“Douche bag much?” He chuckled.
“Hey, he’s not that bad and if you get to know him he’s actually funny and nice.” I said. He raised his eyebrow at me.
“Is someone jealous?” I chuckled. A smirk followed by a sigh escaped his mouth.
“No… I just, he’s a jerk.” He stated. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.
“Don’t worry, he’s just a friend and it will stay that way, until then my eyes will always be set on you.” I said reassuringly.
-----------------------------------------------
I was in my room alone now getting rest and Harry was in the waiting room, mingling with the nurses as I said. The whole time, I couldn’t stop smiling and feeling my heart flutter fast. I almost lost my life through sadness and sorrow, now here I was given another chance in life, but quickly with happiness, given the boy I truly fell head over heels for. I couldn’t be more thankful than I ever was earlier.
A knock was placed on the door, followed by another. Before I could say anything the same nurse from earlier barged the door open.
“Darcy, you have a guest.” Before she could say anything else, she let the person in. The tall figure and long blonde wavy hair I instantly noticed.
“Darcy.” She cried.
“Chels.” I choked as she abruptly ran to me and hugged me tightly. The nurse shut the door and left us alone.
“Chels, I thought-“
“I would never leave your side Darcy, you’re my bestfriend.” She explained.
“I’m sorry Chelsea, about everything… It’s just that so many things were happening and especially the cutting.” I said barely above a whisper.
“Can I tell you something?” I asked. She nodded.
“Anything.”
“The day I came to your house, that wasn’t the only time I’ve been cutting… I’ve been doing it since 13.” I stated.
“Darc, why didn’t you tell me? I know that you were afraid to tell someone but I’m your best friend, no matter what you’re going through I won’t leave you. I’ll be there to help you.” She smiled.
“I’m sorry.” I said one more time.
“It’s okay Darcy, we may try and move on from what happened but it will still haunt us.” She paused. “But I’m willing to start over again.” A smile crept on my face as I reached out to hug her. She wrapped her arms around me and chuckled.
“So who were those two guys in your room earlier?” She winked. “Are they from school or something? I’ve never seen them before.
“You saw them?” I laughed. “First one is Ryan, I met him here when Mum was getting her treatment and Alex is the son of the Niall Horan, met him at their Dad’s ‘reunion’”
“Yeah, hook me up with one of them.” She chuckled.
“Sadly one of them is taken.” I said. “Ryan.”
“Bummer.” She frowned.
“By me.” Her eyes widened as she used her hand to cover her mouth from squealing.
“No way Darc! Since when?!” She squealed.
“Today, well just an hour ago.” I blushed.
“Lucky you! He’s hot.” She giggled. “Someone’s got the Doctor.” She teased. I laughed at her little joke.
“No really Darcy, I’m happy for you.” She gave me a warm smile and hugged me. Suddenly there was another knock at the door.
“When will I ever run out of visitors?” I sighed. The same nurse came in again looking tired and frustrated closing the door behind her.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you Darcy, but I promise you this will be the last visitation from anyone.” She sighed. “Alright come on in!”
A huge cloud of “get well” balloons peaked through followed by flowers and squealing?
“Darcy!” They all yelled in unison. I turned to Chelsea, and her face was filled with astonishment. It was Uncle Liam, Zayn, Niall and Louis along with Violet, Zach, Hannah, Andrew and Leah. The only person missing was Alex and their wives.
All the girls ran over to me along with the boys as they hugged me tightly.
“We’re so happy you’re okay!” Leah chirped.
“The other girls send our regards to you Darc.” Uncle Liam smiled.
“Thank you guys for coming, I didn’t know you all of you would be here.” I chuckled nervously.
“Yeah, we literally had to force your nurse for letting ALL of us in.” Zach added.
I then looked over to Chelsea, who looked a bit left out. “Guys, this is Chelsea my best friend… Chelsea this is my Uncle Zayn, Liam, Niall and Louis.” I said pointing out to each and every one of them.
“Hello Chelsea!” They all said in unison.
“And this is Violet, Zach, Hannah, Andrew and Leah.”I smiled. Andrew instantly stepped up to Chelsea. “Just call me Andy.” He winked. Chelsea blushed furiously as the girls all shook hands with her.
“Pleasure to meet Darcy’s best friend.” Violet smiled kindly.
“Is Alex with you guys?” I blurted out. “ I mean he came he just an hour ago.”
“That explains why he left the house so early.” Niall stated.
“Do you know where he is now?” I asked. He gave me a small frown and shook his head.
-------------------------------------
I finally had some time to myself and rested, just laying on my bed and looking up at the balloons and flowers everyone has given me. Literally thankful.
A quiet knock was placed on the door as I looked up to see it was Harry.
“Hey, how’re you doing?” He asked softly.
“Way better now.” I smiled.
“Are you hungry?” He asked. I shook my head.
“Just need some rest.” I admitted.
“Sorry, I’ll be out-“
“Wait, can I ask you something?” I blurted out. He nodded.
“When is Mum’s funeral?” I asked with a shaking voice.
“Next week.” He frowned. I nodded.
“Okay.” I said quietly.
“I’ll be in the waiting room alright? I’ll just be checking on you every hour. The Doctor said you’ve recovered quite well and fast, so chances are you’ll be discharged by tonight.” He smiled.
“That’s great.” I smiled.
As soon as Dad left, the door flung open and closed leaving the familiar figure standing right in front of me.
“Alex?” I asked curiously. “What are you doing back here, I thought you left.” He looked around the room and saw the huge balloons, chuckling.
“I just wanted to come back and give you a proper visit, and I can see some people already did.” He stated. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s okay, drama happens.” I chuckled. He nodded and sat at the edge of my bed.
“Something wrong?” I asked. He shook his head whilst scratching the back of his neck.
“I- So that was your boyfriend? The one in here earlier?” He asked abruptly. I nodded my head hesitantly.
“Ryan.” I stated. He nodded. Just as his mouth was about to open, he kept quiet.
“Nevermind, um… Are you alright?” He asked, clearly agitated about something.
“Yeah, much better.” I paused and it was awkwardly silent for a moment. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re really nice.”
“Hopefully Ryan’s flowers don’t top mine.” He joked. I slightly frowned.
“They’re just flowers Alex, it’s not competition.” I stated.
“I know.” He said, pressing his lips together.
“You know what, I’ve overstayed my visit, I’ll just go.” He said and slowly walked over to the door.
“About earlier, I’m sorry again.” He apologized, placing his hands in his pocket.
“No need to worry about it Alex.” I paused. He nodded and was about to turn the knob when I stopped him.
“Alex.” I said. He turned around and his face pleaded for an answer.
“We’re still friends right?” I asked, my question was full of confusion.
“If that's the way you see it.” He nodded and walked out the door.
Suddenly a faint knock was on the door. I turned around to see the Doctor with a clipboard in his hand. “Mr. Harry Styles?” He asked, lowering his glasses to the bridge of his nose.
I nodded in response without talking.
“Are you Darcy Paige’s Father?” He asked curiously whilst marking his form.
“Yes.” I choked. “Do you- Do you know what’s wrong with her?”
He took a deep sigh and moved his glasses back up. “Mr. Styles, your daughter overdosed on painkillers.”
I felt my heart sink painfully down to my stomach, the thought of my own Daughter trying to commit suicide just failed me. “We’re you aware that your daughter had prescriptions of any sort?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Will she be okay?” I asked nervously.
“Well she’s lucky enough that she was rushed to the hospital, otherwise she wouldn’t have made it.” He said, with a hint of hope in his voice. Hope.
“So yes?” I asked eagerly.
“I can’t reassure you that she may or may not be alright… She’s still unstable and we can’t quite process anything yet.”
I nodded as the wave of disappointment pondered over me. “But do you think she will be okay?” I asked clearly.
He nodded hestitantly. “Just don’t loose hope.” He said. The word hope then reminded me of Doctor Ravenberg, and remembering him telling me about hope with Liv. This was all just too surreal.
“I’ll be back soon.” He smiled with pity as he gave my shoulder a little pat.
“You heard that Darcy?” I asked quietly, holding her precious hand.
“Just don’t loose hope.” I scoffed. “Funny thing is, Doctor Ravenberg said that about your Mother.” I couldn’t help but release a full tear or two, talking about Olivia.
“You lost hope, didn’t you? It’s the reason why you decided to take those pills?” I sobbed softly. “Darcy, please wake up.”
“I promised your Mum that I would be there by your side and watch you once she’s gone, and look at me. I’ve failed that promise. If I noticed what was going on with you any time sooner I would’ve tried to help. I know this is all hard on you and I know you’re not happy with the situation nor are you even happy with your life. I know that maybe even before me, your life was perfectly fine. But I made a promise to your Mum, who I loved most that I would provide happiness. Not only does she want that for you but I also do Darcy, you’re my only daughter… you’re all I have left.” My voice drifted as I couldn’t speak anymore, only chokes and sobs escaped loudly.
“I can’t loose you…” I said quietly, burying my face in her hand.
I began to drift off to sleep as I still held Darcy’s hand tightly, never letting go.
-----------------------------------------
Darcy’s P.O.V.
I gasped for air, feeling not being able to breathe for a long time. My squinted from the bright lights of the room, I then noticed the familiar mop of brown curls laying his head on my bed. I then noticed where I was, no in my bedroom… but the hospital. I gasped in shock, what have I done?
I didn’t even realize that my eyes were blurred with tears until the loud sobs escaped my mouth. I sobbed uncontrollably, throwing and bashing everything in sight and banging my fists on the wall. As much as my fists were bruised and swollen now, I didn’t care. The pain was bearable.Kill, Kill, Kil-The voices were back. No matter how much I try to avoid them, they kept ringing in my mind.Kill, Kill, Ki- They were getting louder and louder, demanding me in each way to Kill.I finally couldn’t take it anymore and ran into the bathroom, searching through every cabinet. Finally I settled on a prescripted bottle. Pain killers. One last time I thought thoroughly to myself if this is what I wanted, if this was my final decision to leave.Kill the voices answered quickly before me, and without hesitation I unscrewed the bottle, and poured the deadly white pills into the palm of my hand. Finally the last word in my mind Kill, as I gulped the pills in one.
I eventually crashed and calmed myself down as I laid on my bed feeling the heavy drugs kick in. I felt sick to my stomach, along with the room swirling and spinning.hugging my pillow tightly with smudged tears on my face, making the pillow cover damp. Tiny whimpers and sobs still managed to escape my mouth thinking of what I just did, but I gave the voices a chance. They got what they wanted, and now I finally lay here slowly leaving every little problem I had…
I tried to kill myself.
“Dad?” I nervously called out.
His head slowly moved up slowly, taking forever to look up at me. His eyes were bloodshot red, and his cheeks were smeared with dried tears. Suddenly his mouth shook as his eyes brightened so much, never had I seen so much happiness on his face.
“Darcy?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows in complete astonishment, almost as if I was unreal.
“Darcy, you’re awake!” He exclaimed and hugged me tightly, almost giving me no air to breathe.
“Yeah.” I choked with tears brimming the bottom of my eyes and releasing before I could even blink
“Darcy, why are you crying?” He coo’d.
“I-I- I just can’t believe what I did.” I said quietly. “I almost killed myself.”
“Sshhhh, Darc.” He said softly. “What matters is that you survived.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.” I whimpered.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about baby.” He smiled kindly. "If anyone should be sorry that should be me... I failed my promise to your Mum and that was to watch over you and keep you happy."
“I don’t know what I was thinking, I know you were trying to help me and you were trying to be a good Da-.” I argued.
“Everyone makes mistakes Darcy.” He complied. “Nobody’s perfect.”
“Will you just promise me something?” He asked clearly. I nodded.
“Promise me you’ll be happy and that you will never ever do this again.” He stated. “You know Darcy, I’m your Father and if you have any problems you can always tell me, always.”
I nodded as I gave him a small smile. “I promise.” I then brought up my pinky. He chuckled quietly as he brought his pink with mine, locking them together. I felt like a little kid again, locking pinky’s for promises. It was like I experienced keeping a first secret as child.
“Are you alright? Do you want me to call a nurse?” He asked quickly.
“I am hungry.” I admitted embarrassingly. He chuckled.
“I’ll be back then to get a nurse, alright?” He asked. I nodded as I watched him walk out of the room. I started thinking about the violent mistake I’ve done last night. An abrupt tear strolled down my cheek, for all I can feel is shame and remorse. If I died, I would’ve left my Dad here standing alone just right after Mum died, leaving him with nothing but sorrow. I am thankful that even though I almost died, I managed to survive. This was the last time I’d be given a chance at life. The last chance to ever be happy.
My thoughts were interrupted by a faint knock on the door. I quickly turned my head and before I could even see who it was, his familiar white coat and clipboard. “Ryan.” I said quietly.
“Darcy.” He said as his voice shook. His face was masked with worry and his eyes were brimmed with tears.
“You know you don’t need to knock, door is already open.” I joked, trying to brighten up the mood. I felt stupid and ashamed for letting him see me here, the day after I tried to kill myself.
His chuckle startled me, making my heart race. But his chuckle had no humor, only worry.
“Ryan, there’s no need for you to worry about me.” I stated. “Look, I’m fine.” I gestured my hands, showing the way I looked.
“Are you sure?” He asked. I nodded. He then sat next to me, occupying the chair that Harry sat on.
“I’m sorry Darc.” He choked. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
“For what?” I asked quietly.
“Be honest with me Darcy, was I the reason why you tried to ki-“
“No, no, no, no.” I blurted out. “Never Ryan, why would you think that?”
“Well because, I rejected your act.” He stated embarrassingly. My eyes widened in surprise. Ryan blamed himself.
“I mean, I did shed a tear or two that night you did but never would I have killed myself because of that.” I chuckled.
“Then what is it?” He asked curiously.
“My Mum.” I said quietly.
“Oh-I- I’m sorry Dar-“
“No, it’s fine-“
“Knock knock” A female voice said. I looked behind Ryan to see the nurse and Harry next to her holding a gray tray of cafeteria food.
“Ryan.” Harry smiled.
“Mr. Styles.” Ryan smiled back.
“Look, Darc… I’ll be done with work on an hour and I’ll be back to check on you okay?” He said softly. I nodded as he kissed my forehead softly. I couldn’t help but melt in this chaste kisses.
I earned a cheesy smile from the nurse and Harry smirking whilst Ryan walked out.
“How are you doing?” Harry smiled, placing the food down on the table next to me.
“Better.” I smiled.
“Alright Ms. Paige, I’m just going to check you up and you’ll get to eat soon.” She said.
“Now, will you please sit up?”
---------------------------------------------
“Food is not that bad.” I said, nodding as I slurped the chicken noodle soup.
“Really now?” Harry asked curiously whilst watching me eat. “Mind if I eat that roll then?” I shook my head as he grabbed the roll.
A knock was on the door again and Harry and I looked up in unison, meeting Ryan’s gaze, I noticed he was in his casual attire now, not wearing his white lab coat anymore. In his hand was a glass vase full of flowers.
“Hello.” He said awkwardly. Harry chuckled silently and exited the room.
“I’m sorry if I kicked out your Da-“
“Don’t worry about him, he likes to mingle with the old nurses anyways.” I chuckled. He chuckled along with me.
“I brought you flowers, you know… To bloom your day.” He stated. I laughed at his failed joke.
“They’re beautiful, thank you.” I smiled. He sat in the chair next to me again.
“Are you done eating?” He chuckled, looking at the tray of finished food. I nodded, blushing nervously as he moved the tray back on the table.
“How are you feeling?” He asked. I sighed.
“I’m fine Ryan, you keep asking me.” I chuckled.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay at all times.” He stated seriously.
“Why?” I laughed. I could tell I wasn’t taking this seriously.
“Because I care about you Darcy.” He blurted out. I stared deeply into his piercing brown eyes, not being able to spill out one word but my heart talked for me, racing.
“Okay.” I said quietly. I didn’t know what to say.
“Okay? That’s all you could say?” He asked. I could tell the slight anger in his voice, almost frustration.
“You’re confusing me Ryan.” I said.
“No- Darcy, how could you just say okay when I just told you that I care for you? How could you not see that I am and have fallen deeply in love with you, and I just need to know if you love me too but if you don’t just know that I can’t live with that.” He blurted out. His eyes widened as soon as those words spilled out of his mouth. Wow, I.
“You do?” I asked quietly as I examined the look on his face, his eyes lost in mine.
“I’m sorry Darc, this- I know this is all too fast for you bu-“ I cut him off by placing my lips over his, completing his sentence with a chaste kiss.
“I love you too.” I smiled. His face instantly brightened as he returned a kiss.
“I can’t loose you Darcy.” He said, barely above a whisper as our foreheads touched.
“Then don’t.” I whispered.
“Be mine?” He huskily asked. I nodded and I saw his eyes instantly brighten up. He instantly replace his smile with a kiss on my lips, feeling the soft spark.
“Darcy?” A familiar voice called out, interrupting Ryan and I’s kiss. I sighed in frustration, but my heart instantly dropped as soon as I saw the familiar blue eyes.
“Alex?” I smiled surprisingly, I noticed Ryan tense up as soon as he saw the flowers Alex was holding. They clearly resent each other as they ignored each other’s company.
“I heard what happened and your Dad called, so I thought I’d stop by and check to see if you’re okay.” He nervously smiled.
“I’m fine now.” I smiled.
“I brought you these…” He said, gesturing his hand to the flowers. “But I see, that you already have been brought some.” The disappointment in his voice was clear.
“Look Alex, if you don’t want to give the flowers to her then don’t.” Ryan interrupted. I squeezed his forearm tightly, trying to refrain him from talking anymore.
“And who do you think you are?” Alex asked angrily.
“I’m her boyfriend, thanks for asking.” Ryan replied sarcastically. I then remembered the time when I told Alex about “Ryan” as my boyfriend, but he wasn’t then. Although the wave of relief crashed over me as I knew now that Ryan is officially my boyfriend.
“Oh.” Alex said quietly. I was relieved when they both finally calmed down, I couldn’t take anymore drama after what just happened to me. There was a brief moment of silence and heavy breathing from the two.
“I’ll just leave now.” Alex said, placing the flowers down on the table and quickly dashing out the room.
“Atleast he left the flowers.” I stated nonchalantly. Ryan’s gaze turned to me, full of anger and confusion.
“Who was that kid?” He asked curiously.
“Dad’s friend’s son.” I stated.
“Douche bag much?” He chuckled.
“Hey, he’s not that bad and if you get to know him he’s actually funny and nice.” I said. He raised his eyebrow at me.
“Is someone jealous?” I chuckled. A smirk followed by a sigh escaped his mouth.
“No… I just, he’s a jerk.” He stated. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.
“Don’t worry, he’s just a friend and it will stay that way, until then my eyes will always be set on you.” I said reassuringly.
-----------------------------------------------
I was in my room alone now getting rest and Harry was in the waiting room, mingling with the nurses as I said. The whole time, I couldn’t stop smiling and feeling my heart flutter fast. I almost lost my life through sadness and sorrow, now here I was given another chance in life, but quickly with happiness, given the boy I truly fell head over heels for. I couldn’t be more thankful than I ever was earlier.
A knock was placed on the door, followed by another. Before I could say anything the same nurse from earlier barged the door open.
“Darcy, you have a guest.” Before she could say anything else, she let the person in. The tall figure and long blonde wavy hair I instantly noticed.
“Darcy.” She cried.
“Chels.” I choked as she abruptly ran to me and hugged me tightly. The nurse shut the door and left us alone.
“Chels, I thought-“
“I would never leave your side Darcy, you’re my bestfriend.” She explained.
“I’m sorry Chelsea, about everything… It’s just that so many things were happening and especially the cutting.” I said barely above a whisper.
“Can I tell you something?” I asked. She nodded.
“Anything.”
“The day I came to your house, that wasn’t the only time I’ve been cutting… I’ve been doing it since 13.” I stated.
“Darc, why didn’t you tell me? I know that you were afraid to tell someone but I’m your best friend, no matter what you’re going through I won’t leave you. I’ll be there to help you.” She smiled.
“I’m sorry.” I said one more time.
“It’s okay Darcy, we may try and move on from what happened but it will still haunt us.” She paused. “But I’m willing to start over again.” A smile crept on my face as I reached out to hug her. She wrapped her arms around me and chuckled.
“So who were those two guys in your room earlier?” She winked. “Are they from school or something? I’ve never seen them before.
“You saw them?” I laughed. “First one is Ryan, I met him here when Mum was getting her treatment and Alex is the son of the Niall Horan, met him at their Dad’s ‘reunion’”
“Yeah, hook me up with one of them.” She chuckled.
“Sadly one of them is taken.” I said. “Ryan.”
“Bummer.” She frowned.
“By me.” Her eyes widened as she used her hand to cover her mouth from squealing.
“No way Darc! Since when?!” She squealed.
“Today, well just an hour ago.” I blushed.
“Lucky you! He’s hot.” She giggled. “Someone’s got the Doctor.” She teased. I laughed at her little joke.
“No really Darcy, I’m happy for you.” She gave me a warm smile and hugged me. Suddenly there was another knock at the door.
“When will I ever run out of visitors?” I sighed. The same nurse came in again looking tired and frustrated closing the door behind her.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you Darcy, but I promise you this will be the last visitation from anyone.” She sighed. “Alright come on in!”
A huge cloud of “get well” balloons peaked through followed by flowers and squealing?
“Darcy!” They all yelled in unison. I turned to Chelsea, and her face was filled with astonishment. It was Uncle Liam, Zayn, Niall and Louis along with Violet, Zach, Hannah, Andrew and Leah. The only person missing was Alex and their wives.
All the girls ran over to me along with the boys as they hugged me tightly.
“We’re so happy you’re okay!” Leah chirped.
“The other girls send our regards to you Darc.” Uncle Liam smiled.
“Thank you guys for coming, I didn’t know you all of you would be here.” I chuckled nervously.
“Yeah, we literally had to force your nurse for letting ALL of us in.” Zach added.
I then looked over to Chelsea, who looked a bit left out. “Guys, this is Chelsea my best friend… Chelsea this is my Uncle Zayn, Liam, Niall and Louis.” I said pointing out to each and every one of them.
“Hello Chelsea!” They all said in unison.
“And this is Violet, Zach, Hannah, Andrew and Leah.”I smiled. Andrew instantly stepped up to Chelsea. “Just call me Andy.” He winked. Chelsea blushed furiously as the girls all shook hands with her.
“Pleasure to meet Darcy’s best friend.” Violet smiled kindly.
“Is Alex with you guys?” I blurted out. “ I mean he came he just an hour ago.”
“That explains why he left the house so early.” Niall stated.
“Do you know where he is now?” I asked. He gave me a small frown and shook his head.
-------------------------------------
I finally had some time to myself and rested, just laying on my bed and looking up at the balloons and flowers everyone has given me. Literally thankful.
A quiet knock was placed on the door as I looked up to see it was Harry.
“Hey, how’re you doing?” He asked softly.
“Way better now.” I smiled.
“Are you hungry?” He asked. I shook my head.
“Just need some rest.” I admitted.
“Sorry, I’ll be out-“
“Wait, can I ask you something?” I blurted out. He nodded.
“When is Mum’s funeral?” I asked with a shaking voice.
“Next week.” He frowned. I nodded.
“Okay.” I said quietly.
“I’ll be in the waiting room alright? I’ll just be checking on you every hour. The Doctor said you’ve recovered quite well and fast, so chances are you’ll be discharged by tonight.” He smiled.
“That’s great.” I smiled.
As soon as Dad left, the door flung open and closed leaving the familiar figure standing right in front of me.
“Alex?” I asked curiously. “What are you doing back here, I thought you left.” He looked around the room and saw the huge balloons, chuckling.
“I just wanted to come back and give you a proper visit, and I can see some people already did.” He stated. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s okay, drama happens.” I chuckled. He nodded and sat at the edge of my bed.
“Something wrong?” I asked. He shook his head whilst scratching the back of his neck.
“I- So that was your boyfriend? The one in here earlier?” He asked abruptly. I nodded my head hesitantly.
“Ryan.” I stated. He nodded. Just as his mouth was about to open, he kept quiet.
“Nevermind, um… Are you alright?” He asked, clearly agitated about something.
“Yeah, much better.” I paused and it was awkwardly silent for a moment. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re really nice.”
“Hopefully Ryan’s flowers don’t top mine.” He joked. I slightly frowned.
“They’re just flowers Alex, it’s not competition.” I stated.
“I know.” He said, pressing his lips together.
“You know what, I’ve overstayed my visit, I’ll just go.” He said and slowly walked over to the door.
“About earlier, I’m sorry again.” He apologized, placing his hands in his pocket.
“No need to worry about it Alex.” I paused. He nodded and was about to turn the knob when I stopped him.
“Alex.” I said. He turned around and his face pleaded for an answer.
“We’re still friends right?” I asked, my question was full of confusion.
“If that's the way you see it.” He nodded and walked out the door.
This is SOOOOOOOO good! You are a true diamond in the rough. Can't wait to see what happens next.
7/7/15