A Rock Star Christmas Carol

Harry would have passed out if he had been alive from the hearty laughing he couldn’t seem to control as Louis stood glaring death at his old manager with the very effect that could freeze the darkest corners of hell.

Younger Louis, well, he could only hold his costume up like it had contracted a disease he would catch.

“I will jump out a window butt-naked and run through London screaming the Germans are invading on a dare before I wear this costume.” His younger self hissed, eyes wide in mortification.

Harry’s laughter was gritting on older Louis’s nerves, so he abruptly turned to the ghost of the past.

“Yuck it up, asshat. I thought you were supposed to be the sympathetic one? Why are you laughing at my pain?” Louis asked, feeling rather sorry for his younger self.

In younger Louis’s hands was a pair of white striped Shakespearian breeches. One strip of fabric was a white velvet glitter and the other was a brighter white cotton to take on a fairytale look. The short pants were ballooned out and ended at just above the knees.

The next thing his manager did was put a robin hood glitter felt hat with a white and black stripped feather on the side.

Older Louis flinched as a pair of white tights were set on top of his younger self’s arm.

“I believe these will fit you.” She ignored the younger boy’s protest and held up the last two pieces of the ensemble.

White glittered bell toed curled elf shoes and a majestic white peasant top that looked like it belonged on David Bowie in his younger crossdressing days.

The top itself had long drooping loose sleeves with a festive white vest fit for an elf prince.

Louis Tomlinson did not wear tights, he did not wear breech pants and he most certainly was not wearing that costume.

“They may fit, but I ain’t wearing em, woman. I will not demean myself – “Louis started, but was cut off by the manager calling Liam from the front.

“Dear? Make sure he gets changed, we’re shorthanded today and you’re the only two for the morning and afternoon shifts. I need all the help I can get the next two days, lads and if you value your jobs, Louis – your ass will go out there and greet the customers, take their orders and smile while doing it or I will make sure your next place of employment will be at the local zoo, cleaning the animal pens.” Cathy threatened with a friendly grin.

“This is demeaning!” Louis protested hotly, flinching when Cathy thrusted the last pieces of the costume into Louis’s already full arms.

“The costumes are worn in support of the children’s hospital down the street. We get a lot of workers from there and each donation we get, it supports the hospital. Please just grin and bear it, Louis. It’s for a good cause and you already agreed to do it at the start of your employment. When someone makes a promise – “Cathy lectured, older Louis repeating it after her as she said it.

“They keep it.” Louis mimicked with a sigh.

Harry still wore a smirk.

“And you did keep it. Man, you got a lot of crap that day.” Harry chuckled, seeing spots of visions enter across his eyes.

“Yeah, but I was high as a kite when I agreed. Still, I did – mostly because I couldn’t afford for Liam to lose this job and I wasn’t gonna be the cause.” Louis observed his younger self’s shoulders slump in defeat, like his just did.

Harry just stood there with the same smirk, he wished more people he came across were as spirited as this lively bloke appeared to be.

Louis noticed and huffed, but he was not antagonizing the ghost further.

Younger Louis looked at Liam’s costume, deciding that it wasn’t that bad after all.

“Can’t I have a costume like his? Or better yet, I make the drinks and we can switch costumes so he can be the fairy elf prince and take the orders?” Louis asked hopefully, making Harry laugh again.

Liam did not say anything, but rather took a firm hold of Louis’s arm and lead him towards the bathroom at the far side of the coffee house.

Harry made to follow.

Louis gripped Harry’s arm with a harsh glare.

“You, pervert, are staying out here. Liam and I had wardrobe issues and I still think I’m traumatized now that I’m being forced to relive this. I hope you plan on paying for my therapy bill, because I’m gonna need it after this.” Louis snarked, releasing the ghost and trekking toward the lavatory.

He stopped just outside of it, listening to his younger self complain about the tights and asking if he can leave his underwear on, to which Liam could be heard insisting that he ‘please do’.

It took fifteen minutes of pulling and tugging at the costume, but it was perfect and fit Louis like a pure white glittering glove. He was something out of a fairytale, though if anyone asked his opinion, he’d say it was straight from Freddy Kruger’s dream world.

They walked a few steps out of the bathroom, Louis’s complaints coming in loud and clear.

“Come on! I look like TinkerBell’s boyfriend! Actually, no, I look like Peter Pan’s unknown gay fairy brother. I mean, you might as well call me Pippin Piper! This can’t possibly get any more humiliating.” Young Louis ranted, seeing his boss walking towards him with something else in her hand.

“I stand corrected.” Younger Louis muttered unhappily.

“Oh my God, Louis! You’re so cute! I wish my son was here serving today, you two would be so adorable!” Cathy cooed, standing in front of him and moving his hair from his face and placing pointed ears onto each side of his face to complete the elf look.

“I wish your son was here serving today too. I can’t fathom why on earth he would miss out on such great fun.” Louis quipped back sarcastically with a large fake smile.

Cathy reached into her pocket and pulled out two bell bracelets, putting them on Louis’s wrists.

“I have to get a picture, oh my God! So cuuute!” Cathy clapped, happy beyond reason.

Harry’s loud laugh was booming in the coffee house and older Louis’s cheeks were slightly pink.

“That picture went viral when I got famous. Oh God, the horror that was. Poor dignity – alas, I knew ye well.” Louis saluted, ignoring Harry’s laughter and watching Liam fuss with his younger self’s costume.

“It’s not that bad, Lou. You look – “Louis cut Liam off before he could begin.

“If you finish that sentence Liam, I will end you.” Younger Louis growled, adjusting the tricorn robin hood hat.

Liam chuckled.

“It’s not, Louis.” Liam tried to calm him, coming to stand at his front and pinning Louis’s name tag to him.

Younger Louis just stood there and let his roommate pin his nametag, just like he had to help Louis dress in the constricting costume.

“My bloody pants look like I let one rip and the gas had nowhere to go. For Christ sakes, Liam – my underwear is chafing and these tights are constricting my cock and hens. Not to mention, I think I’m getting the worst wedge of my life. If me skives go anymore up my arse, they’re gonna be considered a bloody thong!” Younger Louis continued to complain.

Liam just patted Louis’s shoulder with a small smile.

“For what it’s worth, Louis; Happy birthday anyhow.” Liam said kindly, reaching into his pocket and handing the dark-haired brunette a silver-plated necklace.

It had a genie lamp attached to the chain.

“You wear it or hold it and the wearer or possessor is supposed to rub the lamp. It’s good for seven wishes – so says the guy I got it from.” Liam said, seeing look down at it thoughtfully, his finger running over the rough metal.

He thought a moment, a smirk entering onto his lips.

“Alright, I wish I was a famous singer and lived a successful life. I wish I found a girl that would love me for who I was, like, money never mattered and I wish my father never died.” He paused, looking around and rolling his eyes.

“Magical!” Louis snapped disbelievingly after standing there and waiting for something to happen.

“If you believe that rubbish, you’re a stupider git than what I took ya for.” Louis snapped, but put the necklace on anyhow.

Liam chuckled.

“Maybe, but it never hurt to try.”

Louis had forgotten about the necklace Liam gave him. In fact, he doesn’t even recall what happened to it.

“You threw it in the trash when your son died. You were slightly convinced because of the events that happened after those wishes, but if you know about wishes, then you know that they can’t bring people back from the dead.” Harry responded quietly to Louis’s unasked query.

Louis nodded, remembering then when Harry filed in the blank.

“So, it was by magic that I got famous?” Louis snorted, flinching when Cathy came back with the digital camera.

“No, it was your own willpower and the insight to make it happen,” Harry replied, another chuckle leaving his lips. “I like your boss here, mate. She knows how to liven up the atmosphere.”

Louis did no appreciate Harry’s opinion.

“Shut up, spook.” Louis grunted and went back to ignoring him.

Liam took his arm and wrapped it around Louis’s shoulders.

Cathy made the boys smile and much to Louis’s dismay, wouldn’t leave it alone until he had acquiesced to her demand.

With that over, she went and flipped the open sign.

“Liam? Get ready for the morning rush. Louis? Remember, when in doubt, smile and nod.” Cathy directed, taking her place by the till.

Louis walked with a slight limp towards the door, his hand going to the back of him and adjusting the obnoxious position of his pants.

Liam ducked behind the counter and stood at the ready, Louis went to the door to stand.

It was maybe ten minutes before someone walked in. It was an older man in his seventies and a woman around the same age.

“Welcome.” Younger Louis greeted with a smile.

Older Louis was blanching and Harry still couldn’t stop laughing.

“I’m dying.” Harry chuckled, greatly enjoying Louis’s mortified expression.

You’re dead already, give it a rest!” Louis yelled, unamused to say the least.

The older man stopped and observed the younger lad with a small cock of his head.

“Lad? You do know Halloween was two months ago, right? What are you supposed to be?” The old man jested lightly, now smiling.

Older Louis groaned and sat down heavily on one of the tables.

“I remember this was a very long and trying day for me. Let’s go, older Louis is done being traumatized now.” Louis ushered, but Harry was having none of it.

“We have to stay, there are some very important facts here that I think you need to be reminded of.” Harry said, his laughing casually ceasing. It was clear by his tone that the ghost was not joking.

Louis huffed, kicking his heels in toward the table and let out an irritated grunt.

“A Shakespearian Christmas elf with an anger problem.” Younger Louis quipped back unshyly.

Older Louis chuckled the same time the old man did.

He took his wallet out and passed a note to the younger lad.

“Was only kidding, lad. Have a good one.” The old man nodded, his wife ushering him patiently to the counter and ordering their teas.

“It was a £50.00 note, first one I ever legitimately earned.” Louis said, losing a little of his hostility.

“He liked your response, you have an amazing sense of wording when you put your mind to it.” Harry said, observing the shocked look of Louis’s younger self.

“I would like to think I have some talent – being a musician and all.” Louis responded equally.

Harry shook his head

“Yeah, but you weren’t as jaded, look at you. You actually felt a slight sense of accomplishment and what you did after, well, you really are an enigma.” Harry nodded to Louis’s younger self, a look of conflict crossing over his young features before walking to the counter and handing Liam the fifty note when the couple walked out.

“Give this to Cathy. Tell her to give it to that damn hospital or kids institute or whatever. Hell, tell her I’ll give her my next paycheck if she lets me go put my normal clothes back on.” Louis tried to bargain, but Cathy heard and came out, taking the note with a smile.

“Nice try. If you ask again, you will be elf dancing customers to their tables until New Years, to which you will then have the choice of being Father Time or Baby New Year,” Cathy threatened good naturedly. “Thank you for the donation, Louis. It means a lot, especially for the kids.”

Louis sighed and turned to head back toward the door.

“I call dibs on Father Time.” Liam grinned, joining in Cathy’s lighthearted threat.

“I call dibs on waiting until you fall asleep and shaving your eyebrows off.” Louis remarked with a smirk of his own.

Liam snorted.

“You already did that, took them forever to grow back.” Liam retorted, making younger Louis cackle.

“Then go about fixing the coffee and teas, mate. Don’t cross me, I am a force to be reckoned with. You of all people should know.” Louis hummed in satisfactory.

Liam hummed with a shrug and Louis returned back to his station.

“I have never been tipped before, we don’t usually do tipping in the restaurants or coffee shops. The man was kind to do it.” Louis furrowed his brows down and turned to Harry.

Harry decided to sit on the next table beside him, hopping up effortlessly.

“The same kindness you showed in giving it to someone else who needed it more – even if you didn’t have food for that entire week except the stale pastries.” Harry shrugged.

“Yeah,” Louis murmured, seeing the group of three older jocks enter. He remembered those a-holes quite vividly too.

“Slap me upside the arse and call me Shirley, not those ass-hats.” Louis muttered, standing to beat the snot out of them.

“Visions, Louis. You can’t hurt them. Now, sit down.” Harry ordered, raising his hand and ghosting Louis’s feet to the floor.

Louis growled, but took the chair nearby and sat down into it. His disposition went from agitated to enraged in point five seconds when he saw the three jocks.

“I don’t see how you’re even still upset about those numpties, you got even.” Harry pointed out, watching younger Louis greet the older teenagers with a respectful nod.

“Good morning, welcome. Have you gents been here before?” Younger Louis asked, eyeing the other boys carefully when they were indiscreetly looking him up and down.

Louis was staring back, but not because he was gawking, no, the loud scoffs that left their mouths had something to do with it.

“Que uncomfortable music.” Older Louis muttered, feeling Harry take the ghost effect off him again.

“What are you supposed to be? Elton John? Mate, you a whoopsie or somethen’? No straight bloke wears a fairy costume and serves tea.” The younger of the boys insisted, he was maybe a year or two older than Louis.

Younger Louis smiled and nodded.

“Yes, well, we all can’t live off mummy and daddy’s money, can we jocker boy? It’s called a job and doing things you don’t want to do. That’s life, now; let me show you to your table if you’re staying.” Louis snarked back with a friendly dose of venom and smile – but it certainly wasn’t pleasant anymore.

The older of the boys seemed to match Louis’s grin.

Liam watched on with interest, their manager was luckily away from the counter for a moment to attend to making sure the coffee papers were stacked and ready to be used.

“Louis?” Liam caught his attention with a forced smile.

Louis whipped his body around and gave Liam a glare.

“Piss off, I’m trying to work!” Louis hissed, jumping with an exclamation when he felt a pinch to his backside, the middle boy reaching over mid grab when he spun back around. “And you! I don’t swing for your team, mate. You want some action, pinch your mate’s arses and piss off to the bathroom if you have such the urge. Otherwise, follow me.” Louis growled, walking with the same limp, his elf shoes and bracelets jingling with each step.

Louis took them to the first table and gestured sarcastically.

“Your thrones, your majesties. Now, what are you assholes ordering?” Louis asked, seeing no reason to be pleasant.

Older Louis was watching Liam try to gesture discreetly behind him to indicate Cathy was standing in the doorway watching.

She didn’t see what the boys were doing, but she certainly saw and heard Louis.

“Louis, darling? A word if I may? Liam? Bring the boys a cup of coffee on the house. We’ll be right back.” Cathy smiled, flipping the counter up, walking to Louis and in no certain terms, dragged him to the back by his prosthetic elf ear, while also having a very firm grip on his real one.

“What do you think you’re doing being disrespectful to customers like that?!” Cathy demanded once they were out of earshot.

Louis opened his mouth to interject, but Cathy put a finger on his mouth, suspecting he would say something sarcastic.

“Never mind. I don’t want to hear it,” She decided exasperated, glaring down at the younger gent. “If I get anymore complains today, Louis; I will fire you. I need people with happy attitudes and a friendly smile.”

Louis opened his mouth to interject again, but she again cut him off.

“No, you’ve had your turn to explain and couldn’t give me a straight answer. Now, get back out there with a smile and friendly attitude or you will rue this day. I will make sure you do.” Cathy promised, walking to the back door and out of it to cool down.

Younger Louis was left standing there scratching his head, the bells juggling merrily with the movement.

He stopped and glared at them.

“Shut up.” He barked, stomping back out, ignoring the rash currently being irritated by his clothes.

“Hey? Nancy Pansy? Did mummy give you a timeout and a warning to be a good boy?” The younger one antagonized patronizingly.

Louis grit his teeth into a bared smile, waiting a moment before replying so he could keep his voice happy.

“Why yes. Yes, she did, but I never was one to listen to my mum. Touch me again and I will neuter you with a teaspoon.” Louis hummed lightly with an edged warning, feeling a hand grip his upper arm gently.

He looked and saw Liam beside him with a friendly expression set on his face.

“Lads? Can I add anything to your coffees? Milk, sugar or cream?” Liam asked, trying to distract the situation from escalating.

Younger Louis just folded his arms across his chest and gritted his teeth to keep the faux friendliness.

“Yeah, all three.” The older one chuckled, practically throwing the untouched tray at the two young workers.

Liam took it merrily, humming a Christmas tune as he did so.

“Alright, I’ll be right back, mates. Louis? A word please? Your behavior is unacceptable, we’re going to have to report it to Cathy, come on.” Liam encouraged, turning his head fully to Louis and winking.

Older Louis let a smirk fall on his lips.

“I did forget that it was Liam who came up with the idea. That was brilliant, mate,” He turned to Harry with a small laugh. “Perhaps I stand corrected when it comes to him, he has helped me out a few times.”

Harry’s eyebrow cocked.

“A few? Mate? He’s been here for you since you got shoved in that locker and he wants nothing in return but your friendship.” Harry rolled his eyes, forgetting how incredibly thick Louis was.

“Alright.” Younger Louis said in mock defeat, walking to the back ruefully and out of sight of the table.

Liam was on his heels with a glance that would make even Loki nervous.

“Take the keys, act natural, but give it a minute and lock the lavatories. I got the rest.” Liam ordered with a smirk, setting the coffees down and beginning to put the required stuff into it, except instead of milk, it was two packets each of milk of magnesium with a pinch of sugar and spoon of cream to cover the taste of the magnesium.

“Most powerful laxative on the market. I put two packets in their coffee for maximum performance.” Liam grinned, stirring the contents and heading back to the table, his elf bells jingling in step with a small tune he was singing while he walked.

Louis grabbed the keys, bowing his head like a scolded dog and running passed the table like he had just gotten fired and hid to the side where the bathrooms were, locking both toilets in triumph.

“Drink shit, become shit.” Louis hummed, turning to look angry.

He balled his hands into a fist, marching passed the table and into the kitchen so as to not look suspicious.

Liam was already there, his hand held out for a high five.

Louis planted a firm palm into Liam’s shaking it.

“Good job, mate.” Louis praised, seeing the backdoor open.

He cleared his throat and chuckled.

“Very good point, Liam. I’ll do that.” Louis clapped his hand on the confused boy’s shoulder and walked to his place by the door.

Liam wasn’t confused for long, seeing as Cathy was standing by the door with her head cocked.

“Oh, Louis was telling me that he’s gonna try to tap dance when the next customer comes in.” Liam tried saving face, making younger Louis blanch for the second time that day.

Cathy became excited and started clapping.

“Louis, that’s wonderful! I can’t wait to see!” Cathy exclaimed, clapping like an overly excited teenaged girl.

“Of course, she couldn’t. Ya know? I wonder how many times her own son ran away from home. I’d have left without forwarding my address. Letters in the mailbox? Keep them! I don’t need the men’s catalogues or the notice my favorite uncle cro – “Harry cut Louis off.

“She wasn’t that bad, Louis. She just liked to dress people up and she only made you wear the elf costume two days. She liked to see others happy and she thought that if she got you to dress up and smile, you might be more in tune to open up and have some fun. She wouldn’t have fired you, she just would have made you dress up as Father Time,” Harry chuckled. “She manipulated you and you didn’t even know it. But she did it because she thought it could help. She saw potential, Louis. Something not a lot of people did.”

“Yeah, well, I was happier on the road.” Louis muttered, really not in the mood to continue.

Harry nodded in understanding.

“I have two more things to show you, but first; let’s fast forward. We’re running crunched on time now; my hour is nearly up. We still have a tick, but not by much.” Harry held his hand out for Louis to touch.

Louis was far too focused on seeing the end result of what happens when you screw with Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson.

“Come on, I wanna see those jocks go liquid ass! It was hilarious watching them try to open the loo – “Louis was cut off by Harry taking a page from Cathy’s book and grabbing his ear, transporting them to a time later.

When they zapped through time, it was only in the afternoon when they reappeared in the same coffee shop.

“You remember this moment, don’t you Louis?” Harry asked, having released his ear when they finished transporting to where they needed to be.

Louis nodded.

He most definitely remembered this moment.

The bell to the door jingled, alerting younger Louis to look to the door tiredly, two middle aged men standing in front of him.

Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh, owner and manager of Syco.

Louis plastered on a smile while they glanced at him oddly, having absolutely no idea who these men were.

“Hi! I’m Louis and I will be serving you, are you ordering to go or staying?” Louis asked, forcing his hand down into the back of his balloon pants pocket and picking up an order pad he had stuffed there.

Louis Walsh looked unsure at Simon, but the man just chuckled and gestured about.

“Staying. Show us to your best seats.” Simon said, chuckling as Louis started to walk, bells chiming and jiggling.

“You look very festive, Louis. Can you dance?” Walsh asked with a cocky smirk, followed up by a laugh.

“Only on a girl’s toes, mate. Sadly, that’s why my girlfriend Tinkerbell refuses to let me tap dance anywhere near her feet. Actually, she refuses to let me tap anyth –“

LOUIS!” Cathy yelled from the back, making Louis jump.

Walsh gave Louis a back wave with the back of his hand.

“Run along lad, your mum needs you. The adults need to talk, we’ll let you know our order here in a few. Bye-bye.” He dismissed, though Simon didn’t come to his defense, he nodded subtly, eyes glancing across the tea and coffee menu.

Louis backed away when Cathy screamed for him again and this time, he rushed to her double-step.

When he got to her, she pulled him further into the back with a worried look in her irises.

“Liam said you can sing and play guitar. I need a favor, the original artist coming in to sing got touched with a stomach bug and can’t get off the loo. I brought a guitar, can you do the rest?” Cathy asked hopefully.

For the first time that day, Louis smiled genuinely.

Music was his life!

“Yes! Are you kidding? Hand me a guitar and I can have a party up in here in no time.” Louis paraphrased, seeing Cathy frown slightly.

“No sex or sad/depressing songs. You can only play Christmas and Hanukkah tunes. If you have a happy one, those are allowed, but I need you to stick to Christmas to keep the mood alive. Please? I’ll double your pay next month once I balance the books” She promised, before running out the door and leaving Louis to stand there in confusion.

She rushed back ten seconds later with a wooden guitar and a large scary smile.

Older Louis watched on, feeling the excitement radiating off his younger self.

“Can I stop playing Pippen Pipers? I don’t want to be the prince elf anymore. Do you know how many people asked me if I nicked this costume off a Halloween clearance rack from Five and Younger? My balls can’t breath and little me could use some air – “She thrusted the guitar in his hand, pushing him toward the front before he could continue his rant.

“Go play! Oh, my God, I am so excited!” Cathy clapped, running next to the till to see what her only hope at that point could do.

“She sure does get excited easily.” Harry smiled kindly at her enthusiasm.

Older Louis simply snorted.

“Understatement of the year. That woman would be excited to have a heart attack. No, if you think she’s excited now…wait till you see what happened. She started dancing.” Louis flinched,

“That doesn’t sound – “Harry paused, seeing an image of his boss dancing on the counter of the store. “Never mind.”

“Told ya!” Louis pointed, shuddering.

Harry laughed, watching younger Louis go to the front of the store, clearing his throat nervously.

“Ladies and gents? My name is Louis Tomlinson and I’d like to play a song for you all, would you like that?”

This particular phrase caught Simon and Walsh’s attention immediately. The other patrons kind of cheered in a less than excited manner.

Older Louis sat down, the familiar feelings of freedom overwhelming him. There was nothing like the aura of being completely unrestricted.

“You remember what it was like to just…play. No expectations and no pressure to please anyone.” Harry said, his own eyes not leaving the younger lad.

“I’m going to sing an original Christmas song. It’s called Wish Tree, I wrote it for my mum when I was just starting out in writing. I’d like to give it a try and see what it’s like with a wider audience.” Younger Louis announced, getting centered and allowing his hand to absently tune the guitar.

Harry smiled.

“You still had hope, even after those few years.” He noted sadly.

Louis’s face seemed to turn stone, which was a lot different than the bliss he felt a moment ago.

“It takes two, mate. She didn’t bother –“ Louis started, but it was cut short by Harry speaking over him.

“Just call, you don’t have anything left to lose. Just –ring her, because the regret we have not doing something is worse than the feeling we keep with us if we knew that we could and didn’t.” Harry tried to plead, but Louis shut in on himself again, his stormy blues keeping to the front of the store.

One thing was for sure, if Harry couldn’t break through to Louis, he hoped Zayn could. Niall was their absolute last hope and it seemed every time Harry got progress out of him, Louis would buck his head and topple everything that Harry had just accomplished right back into pieces.

“I can’t tell you the future, Lou. What I can tell you is, don’t make mistakes that you can fix. Don’t push people away because you’re afraid. Forgive those whom you can and hate less in your heart to those you cannot. Louis, I’m reaching out here to tell you that your past doesn’t have to define you!” His voice rose, making the older lad look at him with the same expressionless glare.

Without a word, he went on to watch his younger self, though annoyingly, Harry’s words still somewhat echoed in his head.

Notes