"Hunter and I.. Are getting married.."

---

I should've seen it coming. I should've been prepared.
But I wasn't.
Honestly, I would love to say that it didn't hurt me, but it did.
It shattered me.
Totally.
I'm not even going to pretend like I'm happy for them.
"That's great guys..." I hear Luke somewhere in the back of my head.
I can't do anything but stare at the wall.
"Sierra?" I hear Luke.
I don't react and stand up. I walk out of the room.
When I'm out of the house I begin to run.
I don't know where, I don't care either.
I run around until I bump into Calum.
I wrap my arms around him and begin to cry.
"He's-... He's going to- to marry her." I sob in his chest.
"I know.." He just holds me close.
"Why do-e- does it hurt so much?"
"Because you love him Sierra, you've just been too stupid to realise."
I'm quiet. He's right.
"Why don't you just calm down and tell me what happened?" He asks softly.


And that's what I did. We sit down onto the sidewalk.
"Well, you two fucked up good." Calum comments afterwards.
I nod my head and smile a little.
"We do what we can do best." I whisper.
"What do I do?" My smile dissapears.
"I would love to calm you down right now. But I have no idea."
I sigh. I'm so stupid.
"I can't go back." I mumble.
"You'll need to..."
"What would they think of me? Hunter definitely doesn't want me there now, Ashton probably not either. I don't even have an excuse for walking away."
"You need to be honest."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I'll loose him."
"At least he knows how you feel. And I know for a fact that he feels the same." Calum smirks.
I shot him a questioning look and he chuckles.
"What? I'm his best friend, he talks to me about everything."
I sigh.
"Even if he does, he's a too much gentlemen to blow off a wedding."
"You don't know that."
"I do, I know Ashton."
"I know Ashton too."
I sigh and let out a giggle.
"Just go back."
"I told you, I can't."
"I'll come with you."
"really?"
He nods his head and I can't help but smile.
"Thanks Cal."


So we walk back. Nerves getting worse every step.
Calum knocks on Ashton's door, guessing it would take hours if he let Me do it.
Ashton opens and looks at us for a second.
"Hi Ash." Calum smiles, but I can't do anything except stare at the floor.
"Hi guys." He lets us in.
"Sierra, can I talk to you?" Ashton asks.
"Uhh... Sure." I look at Calum for a second, but he just nods his head.
We walk upstairs.
"What was that?" He asks when we're in his bedroom... I mean, their bedroom..
Fuck.
"What?" I ask, acting like I'm dumb.
"You fucking know. Why did you react that way? Why did you run away?"
"That you even need to ask that..." I mumble.
He looks at me.
"You told me that it was just friendship." He says as he stares into my eyes.
"I thought so too..."
"You thought so?"
"I was wrong okay?! I was so wrong. And I've pretended for so long to be happy for you and Hunter. But I can't, I just can't anymore." I sit down onto the bed and lay my head I my hands.
He stands there. He just stands there.
Like I said, too much of a gentlemen.
"Sierra.. It's okay.." He sits next to me.
"No, it's not. You're going to marry the girl of your dreams and nothing I can do about it."
He's quiet.
"This will probably be the end of me..." He begins softly.
"But.. You're the girl of my dreams.." He says, barely more than a whisper.
"But Hunter..." I begin.
"I tried to forget you and she was there... But honestly, she'll never feel as good as you in my arms.... But then she got pregnant..."
"And you're too much of a gentlemen..." I smile softly.
"I just can't leave her with a baby.."
"I know.."
"But I love you too..." He smiles.
"Ashton, don't do that. We can't. Your engaged now."
"It's still true."
"But it's not making it easier for me."
"And seeing you with Luke doesn't hurt me?"
"I'm not saying that-"
"I was crushed when I heard about you. I was devasta-"
"But I don't love Luke.." I grab the sides of his face softly.
He smiles and kisses me.
This time I don't struggle, I kiss him back.
"Like 5 years ago?" He smiles.
"Better." I smirk.
He deepens the kiss and lays me down onto the bed.
"Ashton, we can't." I mumble.
He holds up his finger and runs downstairs.
I frown.


After a few minutes he comes back, smirking.
"We can now."
"We can't."
"Everyone's gone."
"That doesn't mean that we can do this, you'll be cheating on Hunter."
"And you think that I don't know that she's been cheating on me? There's a chance of 75 percent that the baby isn't even mine."
"But why are you staying with her then?"
"To make you jealous."
"You don't need to make me jealous Ashton."
"Yeah, I wish I knew that before.."
"But wait? You knew she was a brat?"
He nods his head.
"Wow.." I can only speak.
He pulls me close and kisses me again.
"Ashton..."
"What?"
"That Hunter is cheating on you, doesn't mean that you should do the same... I mean, you're gonna marry her anyway. This won't change anything except that I will feel used."
"I'll never use you."
"And still it will feel like that."
He looks at me for a second and sighs.
He gets off me and helps me stand up. We walk downstairs.


When we're in the kitchen we get something to drink and hear the front door.
"Ashyyyy, I'm home." I hear Hunter yell.
I roll my eyes and see Ashton smirk at my reaction.
"In the kitchen." He answers.
I see her walk into the kitchen and kiss Ashton. Then see notices me and kisses him a little longer than usual. Of course, she gets an eye roll in reaction.


I don't know what I need to think now we confessed each other's feelings. Maybe I should feel happy, because I at least now know that he feels the same...
But I'm not... I don't really feel happier...
I honestly feel worse...
Knowing that he's going to get married, have a baby... And be happy.... Without me....

Notes

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