Maybe It's You.

~Alex's POV~


“Alright if I win this one you'll buy me lunch tomorrow.” Niall proposed as he restarted our game of chess.

Today was Saturday, which was basically a lazy day in my calendar. Niall had been in my apartment the whole entire day and it all played out well. We had done almost everything, from having a chick flicks marathon to playing out some songs in our guitars to even baking some chocolate chip cookies which came out really bad because we somehow manage to mess up the cooking instructions.

“Well what a gentleman you are making me pay for our food in all but I guess it's fine, I kind owe you anyway.” I answered in agreement while resetting our chess pieces back in order. He chuckled and shrugged in agreement as he popped some more popcorn into his mouth.

“Let the games begin!” He shouted dramatically, holding his arms up. I rolled my eyes and giggled at his silliness. “Alright let's begin.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Shall I pick you up then ?” Niall asked as we stood outside my door. To my surprise he had beaten me in our last chess game so I had no other choice but to accept his lunch offering for tomorrow.

“Yes Ni, I'll text you. Now go home, it's late.” I ordered as I felt myself getting a bit weary. He quickly nodded and gave me a hug before strolling off towards the elevator.

I then made my way back inside, locked the door and threw myself into the couch. My mind was way too tired to clean up any mess that remained. As I was slowly drifting into a deep sleep, I heard my phone ring.

“Ughhhh.” I groaned as I threw a couch pillow over my head trying to ignore the sound.
“Noooo!” I shouted into the couch.

“RING RING RING”

I couldn't ignore it anymore as it rang for the fifth time. I mentally cussed out as I furiously woke myself up and made my way towards the kitchen counter. My sleep is way too important for this. I picked it up to have Caleb’s name flash across my screen. I then remembered, time zones. Of course it was probably like 5 in the afternoon back at home. I quickly answered and sat back in the couch.

“Hey what's u-”

“-why didn't you answer ?! I thought something happened to you!” Caleb interrupted while shouting into the phone. I could hear the worriness as the tone of his voice changed.

“Calm down, I'm okay. I was just sleeping or at least trying.” I answered.

“Right, shit I'm sorry. I drank a little and it's gotten me a little bit tipsy. And well honestly I just haven't spoken to you since Tuesday and I wanted to know if you were fine.” He said, calming down. I heard a deep sigh on the other side of the phone. Great he was drinking.

“Yeah no It's okay, I understand. So uhm what's going on back home ?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“Everything's good, I just wanted to let you know that I met someone.” He answered sheepishly. I could practically hear him grinning over the phone. I quickly sat up interested in what he had to say.

“Woah Caleb Flynn Davis.” I answered surprised. Last time Caleb had a girlfriend or a love interest for that matter was when he was still in high school and it's been three years ever since.

“Who is she ? Do I know her ? Is she nice ? Has she met mom ? When will I meet her ?” I quickly bombarded him with questions.

“Calm down.” He said while laughing at my reaction to all this.

“Well her name is Jenna, no you don't her she just moved here about two weeks ago, yes she is very nice and sweet, yes she met mom earlier today and they both actually like each other and sometime soon I hope!” He replied happily while he answered all my questions.

“Well I'm really happy for you.” I admitted as I calmed down and laid back down.

“I need to ask her a few questions before she can actually date you though.” I added.

“I thought you would say that so I'm giving her your number.” He announced quickly.

Well thanks for asking me first brother.

“Yeah okay I'll talk to her.” I said.

“Okay great well now that we have that aside I wanted to talk to you about something.” He said in a more serious tone now.

“I know tomorrow is gonna be a hard day for you. Or today since it's already tomorrow over there. Well I just want to let you know that I'm here and if you need anything just talk to me.” He said in a assuring but slurring voice from him drinking.

I sat up as I remembered exactly what he was talking about. Today was it. September 1. The anniversary of Emma’s death. It had been three years already. I mentally punched myself a hundred times for forgetting it. London, college, Niall and the girls had gotten me so distracted over the last couple few weeks that I had completely forgotten about it. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as Caleb repeatedly asked if I was okay.

“Yeah I'm here.” I answered in a hushed tone. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I just let the tears flow.

“Hey hey Al it's okay, just remember it wasn't your fault.” He said in a soothing voice.

“Yes it was. Yes it was Caleb! Stop trying to make me feel any better when you know exactly what I did!” I found myself shouting into the phone.

Why would you even hide it ?” I asked now getting angry at him and myself.

“Stop it! You were drunk and she was ill, she wanted to kill herself you already know!” He quickly snapped back.

Is that what they thought of her ? That she was just a crazy suicidal girl who just killed herself one day. Nobody understood her, or even understood me for that matter.

“Wow Caleb that was fucking low for you to say.” I murmur while wiping the tears off.

“Shit. It's not like that Alex, I'm sorry. It's in the past now so just forget it and her. She was a bad influence for you anyway, and I don't want you talking about her anymore.” He ordered.

How could he say this ? He was clearly getting drunk. This wasn't Caleb. I couldn't just forget her as if she never had existed. She had been a part of my life ever since I was five. And now he was calling her a bad influence ? I couldn't talk to him anymore.

“Okay.” I choked out in a low whisper. Tears began threatening to spill all over again.

“What was that ?” He asked, unsure.

“I said okay.” I repeated a little bit louder and harder this time.

“Good.” He mumbled. “I'll let you sleep now.”

“Bye.” I whispered and hung up before he could reply.

I threw my pillow across the room. I stood up slowly, walked to the closet and searched for my suitcase. I then quickly rummaged through my belongings looking for it.

“Where is it ?” I yelled out loud getting frustrated, and mentally cursing myself for not being well organized.

After a few moments of searching I found it. It was a small picture of Emma and I back in middle school. The two of us had our arms around each other while our free hands held ice creams, happy smiles plastered on our faces and innocence was written all over us. I smiled a little remembering that day. It was perfect. Well everything was back then. I stood up holding the picture tightly against my chest and made my way back towards my bed slowly.

I sat with my back against the wall and had the picture by my side.

“It's all my fault. It's all my fault.” I said out loud. I didn't feel in control anymore. I felt as if my emotions were now the ones ordering my body what to do.

“Stop crying, stop crying, stop.” I repeated. I brought my hands up to my ears and covered them as my body begin sobbing, I just want to hear absolutely nothing.

TAP TAP TAP

I heard a light knocking sound in the wall behind me.

I completely froze afterwards and stayed quiet.

“Are you alright over there ?” A voice asked.

Notes