Chaos

·It all comes back in flashes. It’s just a stream of memories now floating up to the front of my mind. I guess it was just the moment I knew my life was changing course that I got to relive slowly. Now it’s all fast flashes.

The first flash is just as my brother’s finger was healing. I’m sitting in the car listening to my mother talk on the phone ignoring my presence. While I read my school assigned book and adjust the newspaper I sit on, she slowly gets off the road to focus all her attention on the phone conversation. I hear snippets until she pulls the phone away from her ear, turns to me, and demands my attention, “Did you know, Janit told me, there’s been three murders recently in the area and two were on hiking trails!”, then she puts the phone back up, “You know, Elqenna loves to go hiking,” then back to me,” but you better stay off the trails for now even with other people.” I look back down to my reading, nodding to appease her. She thinks I didn’t hear her, but I hear everything, and just store it later hopefully to be remembered.

The next flash is exactly three weeks later when I find myself home alone a little past 7pm. A week before I had dyed my hair black while I was going through a bit of a dark phase. I was especially happy when I saw my mother’s reaction, that started a family fight, before I told her it was temporary. I pull the shiny strands into a long ponytail that stretches almost down to my waist. The Wi-Fi keeps cutting off so I can’t very well do my school work, and had decided to go on a little run before it gets dark. Lurking in the back of my mind is the reminder that there is a killer on the loose, but I push the dark thoughts away- it’s been three weeks! - Nothing has happened since then and I can’t stay home forever. I still grab my pocketknife as I prance out the door dressed in my recently personal preference of layers of black clothing.

I run down the road slowing down as I lose breath until I see the entrance of a trail. I enter watching the sun slowly make its way down the tall trees along the path. The wind pushes against me as I run up a small hill overlooking the area and veer off to a side trail that winds along the city. I revel in the beautiful scenery and clean air that is a sharp contrast to my days spent in the dim, dusty condo. The sunlight is still bright as the sun has not set yet, but as I keep running I feel as if someone is watching me. I slow down and look around but all I see is small grassy clearings with trees and bushes littering the area. I ignore the strange feeling thinking no one would try anything in the bright daylight. I keep jogging, wind whipping my hair. I happily notice the bright green leaves are few and far between as everything turns yellow showing the first signs of summer.

The trail narrows and veers further away from the main trail towards the mountain before me when all of the sudden I hear loud voices. I slow down until I get close enough to discern what the people are saying. I notice above me the sun is starting to set and the sky is lit up a dark orange. As soon as I hear what is being said I halt in my tracks, “NO, STOP, LET GO! I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! I’LL DO ANYTHING! PLEASE!” Somewhere in my mind I think it is a good idea to slowly tiptoe off the trail towards the yelling, thinking maybe I can help, which is obviously not smart when all I have is a pocketknife.

I pause when I hear a thud, a grunt; I assume someone was just kicked when a light, sharply accented voice speaks up, “Shut up with that, it’s too late for you anyway, last words?” I finally spot a group of men dressed in all black in a clearing extremely close to me where the only thing blocking me from their sight is a large holly bush. I peak through a hole in the bush to see two of the men holding a struggling and bloody blonde haired boy who cannot be much older than 19. Three other men stand around him holding large guns which do not help my confidence in stopping them. They all have their identities masked by black masks covering their hair and faces. I slowly grab my extra loose black shirt that I wore over my other shirt and wrap it around my face so it is just showing my eyes and ponytail, just in case they see me.
Meanwhile the boy yells, “SOMEBODY HELP! HELP ME PLEASE!” I just want to rush forward and grab him away from the men when I see tears running down his face.
Another of the men slaps him and says, “No one can hear you and nobody’s coming to help you, it’s over and I guess you’ll go pathetically crying.”
He laughs a deep low laugh along with the others when the teen cries out, “I’m sorry! I can’t change what I did but I’m sorry and I’ll never do it again!!!” I pause in puzzlement; this kid knows them from somewhere? I thought they were just attacking him out of nowhere, where areas now my whole perspective on the predicament changes.
I decide to stay out of it when I hear a deep, gravelly British accent I hadn’t heard before darkly reply, “What you have done can never be fixed. It’s not just about it not happening again. You backstabbed the entire crew and brought our families into this. Maybe one day we’ll meet in hell.” He then grabs a gun from the man next to him and just as he is about to shoot it….. A twig snaps as I’m slowly backing away. My heart stops and all heads turn towards the bush I’m hiding behind when the man asks quickly, “Is someone there?”
I stand as still as possible until I hear the man with the lighter voice point to the other man and say,” H, go check it out.” This is when I immediately start racing towards the trail.
I hear a loud commotion behind me and guns going off when the man with the deep voice yells to his friends, “It’s a girl and she’s wearing something over her face and it’s too dark to tell, but I think she has long black hair!”
I panic and run faster when I hear the other man yell, “He’s getting away! But we’ll get him. Go after the girl she might be working for them!” Thunderous footstep tail me and get closer, and I push forward solely on adrenaline noticing the sun has gone down and the darkness will make it harder for the man to catch me. A rough hand grabs my arm and before I think I pull out my knife and shove it as hard as I can into his arm. I rip it back out cringing at the sound while the guy stops and screams, “Fuck! You bitch!” I turn back around and run while wiping the blood off on my black shirt, probably not the smartest thing to do. The trail turns right so as soon as I hear his footsteps pick up again and get dangerously close I jump behind a huge bush between two trees.
I ignore the throbbing pain in my arms when they get cut up by the branches and sharp leaves while I listen closely as the footsteps rush by then slow down further along the trail. “I know you’re hiding somewhere, I’ll find you eventually and you’ll pay for this.” He paces along the trail, “In the meantime, you let anyone know what you saw or heard, we will kill you and your entire family,” He slowly pronunciates each word as he gets closer,” Trust me.” The raspy voice slicing through the darkness sends shivers down my spine as I stay perfectly still, worried he will find me just by the sound of my beating heart. I can barely see anything outside of the bush until he walks close by, oblivious to my whereabouts, and I see blood dripping down his hand past a tattooed cross right next to his thumb. That cross engraves itself into my brain as I sit there listening to him whisper, “Bloody hell,” over and over to himself as he dejectedly walks away.
I stay in the bush until all I hear is the wind whisking itself through the grass around me. I slowly stand and look around until I’m sure he has left, and I quietly unzip the pocket in my shorts where I kept my knife and flip it open. I unwrap the shirt around my face and grab my ponytail and quickly cut most of it off. Instantly my head feels lighter and I pull the ponytail off to let my hair fall down just hitting my collarbone. I stuff the chopped off hair into my sports bra to dispose of later. I quietly put my knife away and put the extra shirt back on and run back home, adrenaline rushing through my veins. I circle around different areas before going home in case someone is following me then finally deposit the hair in the garbage outside and rush through the still broken gate of my porch and inside. I assume no one is home yet as the lights are all off so I quickly go to my bedroom and collapse.
As soon as I drop onto the bed my door flies open and my mother marches in my room yelling, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??!! IT’S ALMOST TEN AT NIGHT!” I sit up quickly shushing her so the neighbors wouldn’t hear, a terrible mistake, I realize, when she adds, “AND YOUR HAIR IS ALL GONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!” Regret pools through me when I look down and instead of long waves a crooked cut of messy hair frames my face.
I reply, “I was running and my hair got caught in a huge branch and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get it off--, “ where she interrupts, yelling,
“WHY DIDN’T YOU BREAK THE BRANCH AND THAT STILL DOESN’T EXPLAIN WHY YOU’RE HOME SO LATE!!!”
After every word she leans towards me until she’s spitting all over my face so I shoot up until I’m standing over her and frustrated, yell back, “WELL IF YOU WOULD LET ME FINISH AND NOT WAKE UP THE FREAKING NEIGHBORS SO THEY CALL THE COPS ON YOU AGAIN I WOULD TELL YOU!!!” She pauses, still angry, but nods for me to continue, “It was a very large branch, over the size of my arm so I took a while trying to get it off until I realized I had brought a pocket knife, cause remember you told me about the murders a while ago and I wanted to be prepared. So anyway, I cut off that piece of hair and then it looked weird so on the way home I just chopped it all off, that’s why I’m home so late and that’s why my hair is short.”
She looks at me questionably and studies my face until she slowly nods again and says, “We need to get you a data plan so you can make calls when you don’t have wifi,” I raise my eyebrows at her sudden change in demeanor and nod, agreeing, “Anyway, your brother has school tomorrow so you need to go to sleep, but first thing tomorrow I’m going to fix your hair then you and I are doing chores because you have to contribute to this household or I don’t want you to live here anymore,” she walks towards the bedroom door and turns right before shutting it, “Also, don’t go hiking alone again!”
I roll my eyes and drop on the bed annoyed that her first thoughts are my brother and chores after all I’ve gone through today. Well, she didn’t actually know what I’d been through of course thanks to my superb lying skills, which by the way came in handy when I was younger and going to parties. I lay back on the bed surveying my dim room while I replay the events of the last couple hours. I feel like I just ran a marathon, fought a gladiator, and won a screaming competition. I feel throbbing pain on my arm and notice a large cut running down the inside of my elbow that, luckily, my mother didn’t notice. Although, she wouldn’t unless I put it right in her face, I tell myself, while I quietly creep past her door less room to get to the bathroom to wash the cut and dress it. I get back to my room with a big band aid I luckily found in the back of cabinet, brushed teeth, and a washed face, not daring to take a shower for fear of my mom’s wrath. I pull out my drawing pad as soon as I change into pajamas and sit on my bed. Since the Wi-Fi is not connected the next best thing I can do is draw the men as well as I can so I sketch in the low light until I fall into a fitful sleep.

Notes