A Life for A Life

*Louis’s POV*

She was back and knowing she was alive was enough to keep me going. I finally got my head back in the game and the guys seemed less worried about myself. They were still curious as to why I was acting the way I was before, but they didn’t question it. They respected my space. They understood, at least they tried to. They had no idea just what darkness lied behind the secrets I was keeping.

That man I saw a week ago, I couldn’t bring myself to remember what I was thinking at that moment. I held no reaction toward him pointing that gun at me. I couldn’t run. I just stood there, as if ready to take that bullet he was ready to let out. All I could do was be thankful for the fans that were so quick to crowd around and put a barrier between the two of us. I didn’t hear any gunshots that day, which was also good. The last thing I wanted was a fan dying because of me. No, I didn’t even want to think about that. It was bad enough knowing that either me or Cat could die. I hated to think someone innocent could die because of either me or her.

Which was why the boys couldn’t know. I could hear their soft breathing and Harry’s loud snoring from above me. We were back on the road, hitting out toward our next gig. I couldn’t sleep and I was sure Cat was up there too, wide awake. I felt myself take in a breath. I heard my phone start to go off under my pillow. I reached under it and grabbed my phone, seeing who was calling. It was Eleanor.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Lou! Hi! I was just calling because I’ve missed you so much…”

She started to talk. I laid there on my bed, listening to her speak as my mind began to go elsewhere. I wanted to know what Cat found out during her trip back to D.C. I knew it was personal, but I thought I think she knew that I should know as much as I could, better to be safe than sorry. Her parents had already found me and she knew it. I knew our thoughts process was the same though, as long as we were on the move, we were as safe as we could possibly be.

“Lou? Are you listening babe?”

I blinked, snapping out of my thoughts. “Huh?”

“Have you been ignoring me all this time?” She asked.

“No, sorry, it’s just that I’m really tired…”

I felt my mouth go shut, but I couldn’t stop the words from coming out. I was very much awake, but that was the first lie I ever had to tell Eleanor. I didn’t want to tell her what was going on in my mind. I didn’t want to tell her there was thoughts of another girl’s safety going through my head. I rubbed a hand over my eyes. I hated this. The lying shit. The last person in the world who deserved to be lied to was my girlfriend.

“Well, I did just call you in the middle of the night… I’ll let you go. You got a concert tomorrow anyways. G’night babe.”

“Night…”

“Love you.”

Before I could even muster a reply, I felt my phone shut off. I pulled it back. I had lost signal. I sighed, rubbing my eyes. What the hell? Even if the phone didn’t cut off, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to tell my girlfriend that I loved her. I’ve never told her before, and I wasn’t the type of guy to just simply let it slip out of my mouth without actually meaning the words in the first place.

I threw my phone down to the end of my bed, not wanting to mess with it again. I got up from my bunk, jumping down and walking to the mini fridge to grab a water bottle. I hesitated for a split second before I decided to grab another one. I drunk down the first one quickly, letting the cool liquid stream down passed my throat. It was refreshing.

I walked back to my bunk, double-checking to make sure the guys were asleep before I lightly knocked on the small door to the small department I knew Cat was in. I heard a soft click as the door slightly opened. I reached my hand in, offering the bottled water. I felt cool fingers brush mine before taking it. I brought my hand out and she shut the cabinet. No words were spoken, but I heard the light double tap on the door. Her way of saying ‘thank you.’

A small smile came onto my face as I climbed back into my bunk. I grabbed my phone from the foot of the bed, getting ready to put it on charge, but I saw the blinking light flashing on the corner, notifying me that someone has sent a message.

Strange, I still had no signal on my phone. I opened my messages, seeing how it was sent from a block number.

It’s either you or her.

I blinked, confused. Another message popped up.

It’s a life for a life.

I felt my grip around my phone tightened. It couldn’t be. I felt my jaw clenched as the last message came up before my phone completely shut off, indicating no proof of who or how the message was sent.

It’s your choice.