Violent Delights
⏩t h r e e⏪
•Heart Attack - Trey Songz•
•C h a s s i d y•
I woke up to find that Liam was gone, as he usually is. He’s quick to leave before six in the morning when my dad gets up, only during the week though, on the weekends he’s okay. My mom knows Liam comes in at night, she covers for me and I thank her.
Even when Harry came in during the night all those years my mother took up for me and watched out for us, a sign that she truly does love me and wants me to be happy. I used to be happy though, not anymore.
A deep sigh leaves my mouth as I took at the time on my phone, ten minutes to eleven. I sleep too late, according to my father who basically thinks he runs me, but I can’t argue anymore, I do live in his house under his roof.
Turns out I have a new message on my phone. I unlock it and see that my mother sent it. That’s unlike her, she didn’t have to work today so why is she texting me? I stop questioning every little thing the universe throws at me and I just open the message already.
Received: Stay in your room for a while. Dad has some company over, business and important.
Received: Don’t worry honey, I’m locked away too. ;)
Received: Love you xo
I smile lightly at Mom’s messages, she was so weird. But I love her anyways – its okay to be a little weird. Some of my father’s rules are crazy, but the one about staying up stairs and quiet when he had visitors over, well yeah, that’s understandable. I’d hate to cost him anything important.
There isn’t much for me to do in my room besides stay on my phone, search through my old pictures and memories and cry to myself, and drawing or coloring a new picture – the same old stuff.
Perhaps I could think about college, that’s sort of important I guess. I know one thing for certain: I’m waiting a year because high school killed me, especially those three years without my best friend with me, without him there to watch over me.
As the days go on and the nights slowly come without Harry’s presence in my life, I am starting to wonder if giving up is okay in this case. One minute he was here, and then the next he was gone.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected to lose him the way I did – just to have him disappear and not knowing the reason at all hurt me so bad, and it still does.
My parents always tell me that he left for a good reason but they have yet to prove that to me. I have nothing to live for anymore, so why should I?
No, I need to stop staying stuff like that.
Killing myself would only hurt everyone else, and Harry too – wherever he might be right now. Sometimes I believe that Harry himself has moved on and he has a new girl in his life, living his life perfectly and wonderful – forgetting the past as if it was never there. I don’t like to think that, but when I do.. I believe it.
I made a decision four years ago – that was either to end it or to wait for it. This waiting has hurt me more than jumping off a bridge would have, I’m sure.
At times, when it really hurts me – like holidays and my birthday, and even his birthday.. – I debate with myself on whether to change my decision.
But as usual, I look at it like this: what if I killed myself today and tomorrow was the day he returned? Or, what if I live today and tomorrow he still hasn’t came back.
Either way, I’m just screwed.
Some, like my mom, tell me to have high hopes and believe that he will come back. But others, like my dad, tell me to move on for the better in life, and if one day he returns then things will be different, until then distract yourself..
It’s hard to distract yourself from something that was and still is literally your everything.
Have you ever had that one person in your life that you assured yourself you’d spend eternity with? I have one of those..
No matter how much I denied it to myself, I always dreamed of Harry and I spending our lives with each other – getting married, having a family, nice jobs, perfect life.
Harry’s that person I am willing to give in for. To this day I have yet to lose my virginity, because the only person I want and am willing to give it to isn’t here at the moment.
A complete shock to me, Harry has yet to give his away either. He told me once, years ago, I was thirteen he was fifteen, that he wanted to marry me and be with me forever, and he told me he wanted me to have his virginity.
Now, these days, I don’t know if that’s still true – if he still has his or not, I pray that he does, but it’s quite hard to believe anything anymore..
I never knew love could hurt me so bad, make me feel so much pain, make me wonder so much..
•A d a m•
‘’Been a damn long time since I saw you around here.’’ I say with a smirk as I cross my arms on my chest, ready for this conversation I’ve been longing for.
‘’I know, but I need.. to tell you something.’’ He replies.
‘’I do have a phone, Styles, number’s been the same for fifteen years.’’ I remind the boy – I didn’t expect him to be at front door this morning, but he sure was.
I couldn’t deny his entrance, because just like my daughter, I was tired of him being away. Harry does more than just make my child happy, he’s brought some of Orlando’s worse behind bars because he’s good at what he does. That’s the only reason I’ve ever accepted him.
‘’Mr. James, sir, I know that but this means a lot to me.’’ Harry sighs, glancing down at his hands before staring back at my gaze.
‘’Does it concern me any?’’ I ask curiously – I just wanted to know why the hell he was at my house instead of wherever he banished to four years ago, a place I don’t even know, honestly I’m not sure if anyone knows where this boy went.. But I’ve knew why since day one.
“He’s after her..’’ Harry mumbles, looking away from me.
‘’Who is he?’’ I say.
Harry’s eyes catch mine again, I could sense his anger, I could feel it, ‘’Malik.’’
When I heard that name my heart dropped, not because I was scared of him – I’m not scared of anyone – but because I knew who he was after.
‘’He won’t get to her.’’ I assure Harry with a sigh.
‘’He’s here, somewhere, Adam, he called me yesterday.. he told me.. how gorgeous Chassidy looked the other morning.. He’s in Orlando.. I can’t doubt, I know.. he’s here.’’ Harry says, his hand gripped the arm of the office chair, he had a very short temper – and I know good and well this topic surely did make it rise.
‘’He won’t touch her.’’ I state, looking straight into Harry’s eyes.
He clenched his jaw as he stood up, taking a deep breath as he looked down at me, ‘’Agreed.’’
“She’s upstairs.’’ I tell him.
‘’No.. don’t, don’t tell her I’m here.’’ He requests.
‘’But, I figured you’d come to be with her. No one around here will remember what happened.’’ I assure him, knowing that because we have dropped the case, burned the files and let everything about that night go.
Harry’s heart had a cold side. His personality had a bad side. His body held angels, but it held more demons. Harry can look and seem like a horrible person, but he would never – and I mean never – murder a child.
I know – along with Harry and the others – who pinned this all on Harry, that’s why he left. He couldn’t live here knowing there was a couple believing that he killed their child. He knew himself better than that, and he knew he needed to leave with no return.
But I think we all knew that the whole ‘’no return’’ thing wasn’t going to last forever. There’s something in Orlando he could never leave behind, something he knew damn well he’d return for. That something is upstairs – and we all knew that.
“I want you to be the only person that knows I’m here, just for a few days. I plan on.. on coming back here and.. seeing her. Just, not today, I can’t. I just.. I have to get things set up and I have to start-‘’
‘’No.’’ I simply say.
His eyebrows furrowed at my comment and he sat back down in the chair, ‘’What.. what do you mean?’’ He asks confused slightly.
‘’Chassidy is my daughter, Harry. I know what she has been going through for four years now. I know all the tears she’s cried, all the nights she lied awake hoping you’d show up the next day. I know about all the scars she added to herself, inside and out. I know all the little things she tries to do to stop herself from thinking of you. I know of all the memories she has that she relives in her mind everyday just so she can hear your voice or see your face. And I know how bad she wishes you could be with her. I know how much it would mean to her.. and how amazing she would fell if she could see you.’’ I gulp gently to myself, knowing that the mention of my daughter’s problems always hurt me.
My team and I couldn’t solve that murder case, and I was partly the reason Harry had to leave. I caused my daughter’s distress and pain for so long and it’s always had a heavy toll on me. It hurts.. and I don’t want her to hurt anymore.
‘’I will handle Zayn, as for you.. well, what you need to handle has been waiting on you for years. And I think she’s tired of waiting.’’ I tell him, basically demanding him to go and see her.
‘’I can’t-‘’
‘’Stop it, Harry. You don’t have to see her today, but tomorrow… you better. I can handle the issues, you need to focus on her.’’ I say.
‘’Yes sir.’’
Harry wanted my approval from the start, and today is the day he finally got it.
•C h a s s i d y•
I woke up to find that Liam was gone, as he usually is. He’s quick to leave before six in the morning when my dad gets up, only during the week though, on the weekends he’s okay. My mom knows Liam comes in at night, she covers for me and I thank her.
Even when Harry came in during the night all those years my mother took up for me and watched out for us, a sign that she truly does love me and wants me to be happy. I used to be happy though, not anymore.
A deep sigh leaves my mouth as I took at the time on my phone, ten minutes to eleven. I sleep too late, according to my father who basically thinks he runs me, but I can’t argue anymore, I do live in his house under his roof.
Turns out I have a new message on my phone. I unlock it and see that my mother sent it. That’s unlike her, she didn’t have to work today so why is she texting me? I stop questioning every little thing the universe throws at me and I just open the message already.
Received: Stay in your room for a while. Dad has some company over, business and important.
Received: Don’t worry honey, I’m locked away too. ;)
Received: Love you xo
I smile lightly at Mom’s messages, she was so weird. But I love her anyways – its okay to be a little weird. Some of my father’s rules are crazy, but the one about staying up stairs and quiet when he had visitors over, well yeah, that’s understandable. I’d hate to cost him anything important.
There isn’t much for me to do in my room besides stay on my phone, search through my old pictures and memories and cry to myself, and drawing or coloring a new picture – the same old stuff.
Perhaps I could think about college, that’s sort of important I guess. I know one thing for certain: I’m waiting a year because high school killed me, especially those three years without my best friend with me, without him there to watch over me.
As the days go on and the nights slowly come without Harry’s presence in my life, I am starting to wonder if giving up is okay in this case. One minute he was here, and then the next he was gone.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected to lose him the way I did – just to have him disappear and not knowing the reason at all hurt me so bad, and it still does.
My parents always tell me that he left for a good reason but they have yet to prove that to me. I have nothing to live for anymore, so why should I?
No, I need to stop staying stuff like that.
Killing myself would only hurt everyone else, and Harry too – wherever he might be right now. Sometimes I believe that Harry himself has moved on and he has a new girl in his life, living his life perfectly and wonderful – forgetting the past as if it was never there. I don’t like to think that, but when I do.. I believe it.
I made a decision four years ago – that was either to end it or to wait for it. This waiting has hurt me more than jumping off a bridge would have, I’m sure.
At times, when it really hurts me – like holidays and my birthday, and even his birthday.. – I debate with myself on whether to change my decision.
But as usual, I look at it like this: what if I killed myself today and tomorrow was the day he returned? Or, what if I live today and tomorrow he still hasn’t came back.
Either way, I’m just screwed.
Some, like my mom, tell me to have high hopes and believe that he will come back. But others, like my dad, tell me to move on for the better in life, and if one day he returns then things will be different, until then distract yourself..
It’s hard to distract yourself from something that was and still is literally your everything.
Have you ever had that one person in your life that you assured yourself you’d spend eternity with? I have one of those..
No matter how much I denied it to myself, I always dreamed of Harry and I spending our lives with each other – getting married, having a family, nice jobs, perfect life.
Harry’s that person I am willing to give in for. To this day I have yet to lose my virginity, because the only person I want and am willing to give it to isn’t here at the moment.
A complete shock to me, Harry has yet to give his away either. He told me once, years ago, I was thirteen he was fifteen, that he wanted to marry me and be with me forever, and he told me he wanted me to have his virginity.
Now, these days, I don’t know if that’s still true – if he still has his or not, I pray that he does, but it’s quite hard to believe anything anymore..
I never knew love could hurt me so bad, make me feel so much pain, make me wonder so much..
•A d a m•
‘’Been a damn long time since I saw you around here.’’ I say with a smirk as I cross my arms on my chest, ready for this conversation I’ve been longing for.
‘’I know, but I need.. to tell you something.’’ He replies.
‘’I do have a phone, Styles, number’s been the same for fifteen years.’’ I remind the boy – I didn’t expect him to be at front door this morning, but he sure was.
I couldn’t deny his entrance, because just like my daughter, I was tired of him being away. Harry does more than just make my child happy, he’s brought some of Orlando’s worse behind bars because he’s good at what he does. That’s the only reason I’ve ever accepted him.
‘’Mr. James, sir, I know that but this means a lot to me.’’ Harry sighs, glancing down at his hands before staring back at my gaze.
‘’Does it concern me any?’’ I ask curiously – I just wanted to know why the hell he was at my house instead of wherever he banished to four years ago, a place I don’t even know, honestly I’m not sure if anyone knows where this boy went.. But I’ve knew why since day one.
“He’s after her..’’ Harry mumbles, looking away from me.
‘’Who is he?’’ I say.
Harry’s eyes catch mine again, I could sense his anger, I could feel it, ‘’Malik.’’
When I heard that name my heart dropped, not because I was scared of him – I’m not scared of anyone – but because I knew who he was after.
‘’He won’t get to her.’’ I assure Harry with a sigh.
‘’He’s here, somewhere, Adam, he called me yesterday.. he told me.. how gorgeous Chassidy looked the other morning.. He’s in Orlando.. I can’t doubt, I know.. he’s here.’’ Harry says, his hand gripped the arm of the office chair, he had a very short temper – and I know good and well this topic surely did make it rise.
‘’He won’t touch her.’’ I state, looking straight into Harry’s eyes.
He clenched his jaw as he stood up, taking a deep breath as he looked down at me, ‘’Agreed.’’
“She’s upstairs.’’ I tell him.
‘’No.. don’t, don’t tell her I’m here.’’ He requests.
‘’But, I figured you’d come to be with her. No one around here will remember what happened.’’ I assure him, knowing that because we have dropped the case, burned the files and let everything about that night go.
Harry’s heart had a cold side. His personality had a bad side. His body held angels, but it held more demons. Harry can look and seem like a horrible person, but he would never – and I mean never – murder a child.
I know – along with Harry and the others – who pinned this all on Harry, that’s why he left. He couldn’t live here knowing there was a couple believing that he killed their child. He knew himself better than that, and he knew he needed to leave with no return.
But I think we all knew that the whole ‘’no return’’ thing wasn’t going to last forever. There’s something in Orlando he could never leave behind, something he knew damn well he’d return for. That something is upstairs – and we all knew that.
“I want you to be the only person that knows I’m here, just for a few days. I plan on.. on coming back here and.. seeing her. Just, not today, I can’t. I just.. I have to get things set up and I have to start-‘’
‘’No.’’ I simply say.
His eyebrows furrowed at my comment and he sat back down in the chair, ‘’What.. what do you mean?’’ He asks confused slightly.
‘’Chassidy is my daughter, Harry. I know what she has been going through for four years now. I know all the tears she’s cried, all the nights she lied awake hoping you’d show up the next day. I know about all the scars she added to herself, inside and out. I know all the little things she tries to do to stop herself from thinking of you. I know of all the memories she has that she relives in her mind everyday just so she can hear your voice or see your face. And I know how bad she wishes you could be with her. I know how much it would mean to her.. and how amazing she would fell if she could see you.’’ I gulp gently to myself, knowing that the mention of my daughter’s problems always hurt me.
My team and I couldn’t solve that murder case, and I was partly the reason Harry had to leave. I caused my daughter’s distress and pain for so long and it’s always had a heavy toll on me. It hurts.. and I don’t want her to hurt anymore.
‘’I will handle Zayn, as for you.. well, what you need to handle has been waiting on you for years. And I think she’s tired of waiting.’’ I tell him, basically demanding him to go and see her.
‘’I can’t-‘’
‘’Stop it, Harry. You don’t have to see her today, but tomorrow… you better. I can handle the issues, you need to focus on her.’’ I say.
‘’Yes sir.’’
Harry wanted my approval from the start, and today is the day he finally got it.
Notes
•Updates coming soon! comment your thoughts, i love you guys!! i've been stressed so sorry about the delay! ♥•
Holy crap!!! What's happened
6/16/16