I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."
But I don't care,
I'm not scared of love.
'Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker.
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong
That you make me strong?
‘Strong’ – One Direction

It was a Friday night.

The date was July 31st.

The city was Indianapolis.

The venue was Lucas Oil Stadium.

She could hear the screams of fans as Swedish electropop duo, Icona Pop, performed. They were the support act for One Direction during the North America leg of the On The Road Again tour. Bella stood backstage, standing in front of several screens where cameras captured moments on the stage. There was 30 minutes to go until the boys would start the show and the crowd was pumped up. Bella found it so odd that back in February, she was a part of the audience. Now, almost six months later, she was standing backstage, waiting for the show to begin.

Her phone began to ring. It was lucky she heard it but the vibration in her front pocket made her take it out. Bella saw it was her father calling. With a smile, she pressed Accept and put the phone to her ear.

“Hey, Dad!”

Bells! There’s my girl! How are you?

“Really good. I’m currently backstage at the Indianapolis concert. It’s mad!”

You’re a very lucky girl. Are you on your own? Is Harry around?

“I have no clue where he is, actually. Probably getting his hair done.” Bella said. She decided to remove herself from the chaos around her. Producers and managers ran about her, shouting things that she couldn’t quite make out. It was crazy. Bella made a beeline for Harry’s dressing room and sighed when she closed the door after she entered. Fortunately, it was empty. Harry was nowhere to be seen.

“Do you want to talk to Harry or something?”

No, I just wanted to see how things were going. You’ve been gone for about four weeks. The experience you’re having must be amazing.

“It is! It’s like a dream. I’ve been to so many cities in such a short space of time. Santa Clara, Seattle, Vancouver, Winnipeg, Kansas City… It’s wonderful, Dad. I can’t believe where I am right now.”

You’d better believe it, darling. I couldn’t be happier for you. And Harry too. You’re both lucky to have each other.

“Thanks, Dad.” Bella smiled. She walked across the room and spotted a pair of dirty socks on the floor. Slob… She laughed in her head. She knelt down and picked them up, folding them and placing them in Harry’s gym bag. It was quirks like that about Harry that Bella loved. She never got irritated. She just laughed at how messy he could be. But he was only 21 and his teenage habits resurfaced sometimes.

Bella was sure what her heart felt now. During the last four weeks, Harry had made love to her three times. Because she knew what to expect now, the experience of sex was very pleasurable. He was always gentle with her and she always remembered his passionate kisses, stinging on her lips.

“Dad…I think I’m in love with Harry.”

The door of the dressing room opened and the person Bella had just said she loved walked in.

Shit! Her mind screamed.

0*0

“Hey there, beautiful. What is it? You look a little stunned.”

Yes, Bella was stunned. Oh, no…Did he hear me? Harry was clothed in all black, the T-shirt showing off the tattoos on his arms. Luckily, the media didn’t know about their matching infinity tattoos, because they were so small. But Bella knew it was only a matter of time before it got out, either by a paparazzi photo or by Harry revealing it in an interview. She stared at Harry as her father’s voice spoke out of her phone.

Bells, darling? Really?

“Uh…uh…Harry’s just arrived.” She said as calmly as possible. Harry didn’t hear me. He didn’t hear me. Bella had never felt such relief in her life. She didn’t want to Harry to find out she loved him by telling it to her father. She wanted to look into his green eyes, hold his attractive face in her hands and tell him “I love you”.

Oh…You haven’t told him yet. Sorry, darling.

“No, it’s OK, Dad. Not your fault. Have you seen Ashley recently?” Bella asked, looking away from Harry, desperate to change the subject.

Yes, I saw her three days ago. We went to Chatswood for the day. My other girl is growing up fast. She looks so much like her mother.

Bella could imagine her father’s smiling face, his hazel eyes, just like hers, bright and happy.

“I miss her. I even miss how annoying she is!” She laughed.

I’m sure you’ll see her soon. I won’t keep you a minute longer, darling. Enjoy the concert tonight and I’ll see you when you get home.

“OK. Bye, Dad. Love you.”

Love you too, Bells.

Bella lowered her phone from her ear and heard the sound of a zipper opening. She turned around to see Harry standing beside his gym bag, his cross necklace dangling from his hand. He placed it around his neck, letting the pendant rest on his chest.

“Last minute decoration.” He smiled. Bella fiddled with her phone and cracked a smile in return. It was a close call, Harry almost hearing her say she loved him. Bella loved him. She did. But she didn’t know if he loved her. At least, she didn’t know to what extent. She was both excited and scared to tell him. The result was either going to be amazing or shit. Acceptance or rejection. Bella hoped for the former and not the latter.

“You OK, love?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I miss my family, you know. I don’t know how you guys cope.” Bella said, pocketing her phone.

“It’s never easy. But we love what we do and our family sometimes come on tour with us.”

“Guess that’s what the break’s for. Spending time with family and friends.”

“Then I’ll get to see you more often.” Harry smiled. He was too attractive, it made her insides turn into nothing. Bella agreed with his idea with a grin and remembered the day he told her the band would be going on a hiatus.


“Why?”

It was the most logical question to ask and the first one that entered her mind. She sat next to Harry on the end of the bed, his hand placed over hers. He sighed and caressed her knuckles with his thumb.

“We need a break. All of us. We’ve been going nonstop for five years. An album each year and four world tours. It does take a toll on our private lives. We need to spend time with our loved ones. And with losing Zayn, it was a shock. We just need some time off to relax and reflect.”

Bella was full of different emotions. She was upset, as any fan would be, about the band going on a break. She would miss their music and their interviews. But she also understood they did need a break. They weren’t superhuman. They needed to rest. Bella was proud of the boys’ success. They deserved it. All the love they spread to millions of fans around the world and the love they received from said fans. All four boys were beautiful human beings and she knew the break would be a good thing for them.

“We’re not splitting up. We’ll be back. It’s just a hiatus.”

“I know, I know. You guys deserve a break. You’ve earned it.” Bella smiled at him. Harry raised her hand, held by his own, and kissed the back of it warmly.

“You know just what to say in every situation, love.” He whispered, wrapping his left arm around her waist and pulling her to him. Her head came to rest where his neck met his shoulder, his lips on her forehead. His breath grazed her skin, his arms around her. Bella melted into his embrace, laying her hand over his heart. Its beat was steady underneath her palm, the blood circulating properly. She thought of her sister and how distraught she would be when she found out. She’ll be crying for weeks… Bella thought. But as a true fan, Ashley would support the boys on whatever they decided to do.

Just like Bella.


“That sounds like a great idea, Harry.” Bella agreed. The hiatus would provide more time for Harry to see her. So much time off and maybe, Bella could wake up in his arms for longer than a week. Outside in the hallway, a booming voice shouted, “Fifteen minutes until stage!”

“Time to go.” Harry said, taking Bella’s hand and leading her out of his dressing room. Tonight, she would be in the audience. The shows the boy band had put on so far, Bella had sometimes been backstage, watching them on the monitors. Other times she was like a regular fan, out in the crowd, cheering at the boys. The atmosphere was amazing. It reminded Bella of the concert back in February. The night she and Harry first saw each other.

They stopped near the monitors. Around the area, the three other boys stood together, warming up, holding microphones in their hands as they had their hair and make-up touched up for the final time. Liam flipped his microphone in his hand, rolling his shoulders back. Louis was being attended by Lou, putting gel in his hair, giving it volume. Niall was having make-up put on but he sighed, saying he was going to sweat it off anyway.

“Where’s your seat?” Harry asked.

“At the front, at the end of the catwalk. Sophia’s next to me.” Bella said, her hand still in his.

“Harry, come here! I need to touch you up before you go on stage.” Lou called, the bottle of hair gel clutched in her hand. He looked at her momentarily and Bella squeezed his fingers, giving him a smile.

“Have fun out there. You’ll do amazing, like you always do.”

His other hand was suddenly on her waist as he leaned in. Her eyes closed the second his lips touched hers. It was a gentle kiss, warm and sweet, just enough to make Bella’s face turn a little pink.

“Oi, Hazza! We’ll have none of that here!”

Bella giggled, breaking the kiss. Both her and Harry looked at the person who interrupted them.

“I apologise, Louis, for kissing my girlfriend.” Harry said sarcastically. The area filled with infectious laughter, people still rushing about. The boy’s band was already leaving to go onto the stage and get set up, waiting for the main act to come on. Bella gave Harry a quick hug before wishing the other boys good luck.

She met Sophia Smith, Liam’s girlfriend, at the front of the crowd, where their seats were. Sophia was extremely beautiful with dark hair and light eyes. Bella embraced her as a security guard, which Liam and Harry had assigned to look after the two girls, took his position standing in front of the end of the catwalk on the other side of the barrier. Bella and Sophia had become friends during the few weeks they had known each other. They shared a love for the boys, both as a band and as sweet and kind people. Fans sitting behind them smiled and waved at them, nervously asking for hugs, which Bella and Sophia gave kindly.

It was one minute until the concert’s start. Just before the screens exploded with colourful images of the boys’ faces, Bella felt Sophia placing her arm around her shoulders. They were about the same height so the action worked. She looked at her.

“Ready for some fun?” Sophia smiled, her eyes sparkling. Bella grinned back, her heart beating with excitement.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She said, wrapping her arm around Sophia’s back as the crowd exploded with screams, signalling the arrival of the most popular boy band on the planet.

0*0

It was approaching 10:30pm. The bar was busy, men and women enjoying drinks with one another. Pop music Bella didn’t know was playing and the lights lit the bar up in a golden hue. She sat on a high stool, a glass of red wine on the table in front of her. Harry was beside her, their knees touching, his fingers wrapped around a half-empty glass of red wine. Niall sat across from Bella, enjoying his second Guinness, a smile on his face.

The concert had been absolutely amazing. The boys were incredible. Their vocals had never been better and the interactions they had with fans melted Bella’s heart. After making fun of an extremely tall man in the audience, Harry had asked everyone to raise their arms and stomp their feet to a certain beat. It was crazy how much control he had on the crowd. One young man talking to over 40,000 fans. The way all four boys commanded the stage was a thing of achievement. They owned every bit of it. Bella and Sophia had enjoyed themselves immensely, laughing and cheering, singing along like everyone else. The atmosphere, like every other show on the tour Bella had been to, was electric and contagious. The happiness One Direction gave to their fans spread like a burning fire around the stadium.

It was Niall who suggested they all go out for a drink to celebrate another fantastic and successful concert. Louis remained behind in the hotel, dotting on little Lux with Lou. Liam and Sophia were also back at the hotel so it was only the three of them at the bar. Because it was so busy, no-one paid attention to them. The whole night, when Harry appeared on the large screens, Bella smiled. Not just because of his voice or his beautiful face. But because she loved him. She had never loved anyone like she loved Harry. She had never fallen in love before. Jacob and her had never uttered those words to each other. Even though Bella had never been in love, she knew what she felt for Harry was love. She didn’t know how she knew. She just knew. Her heart said it for her. But Bella didn’t know how to actually tell him but the longer she waited, the more her heart screamed at her to say it. Just tell him, Bella. Fucking tell him. The voice in her head screeched. Bella took a gulp of her wine, the alcohol pumping through her body.

“How rad was the crowd tonight?” Niall laughed.

“Amazing. Like every single show.” Harry agreed.

“That tall man you talked to, I think he was 6 foot 7. Not 9 feet, you idiot.”

“I was making a joke! I felt sorry for the girl behind him. She probably hardly saw a thing, given the size of him.” Harry said, sipping his wine.

Bella drifted off, immersed in her thoughts. I love him. I love Harry. She couldn’t think of any other man she’d rather love. Harry was the only man for her. He was everything to her and gave her everything. Even when she didn’t ask for anything, he still spoilt her. Bella had pinpointed the moment she fell in love with him. It was the fourth time he had made love to her, which was exactly a week ago. Her heart had made its decision and what her head thought was ignored. Bella had fallen so deep, sometimes she couldn’t think about anything else. Which was what was happening right now. The words I love him repeated in her mind, again and again and again. She didn’t even register Harry saying her name. It was the touch of his hand on her thigh that made her suck in a gasp.

“Sorry?” Her voice was a little choky. His eyes were fraught with concern. Niall also looked at her, his gaze gentle.

“Are you alright, love?” Harry asked. Yes, I’m fine. I love you, for God’s sake! Luckily, those words didn’t fall out of her mouth. Bella swallowed and tapped the bottom of her wine glass with her fingertips, nodding and tugging the corners of her lips up in a smile.

“Of course. Everything’s fine.” She reassured him. Everything’s fine because I love you. But those three important words were only in her head. She hadn’t even told her mother she loved Harry. Her father was the only person who knew. Bella was worried if she told Harry too soon, it would come out like word vomit. She wanted it to be a perfect moment when she told him. Then her heart would sigh with relief. Tell him, Bella. Just tell him. It was right then, looking into his eyes, when Bella made her decision. I’ll tell him when we get back to the hotel. I will. I will tell him I love him. She hoped he would say it back. Bella had her heart broken before. She wouldn’t be able to handle it if it happened for the second time.


Their flight to Pittsburgh was tomorrow afternoon at 3 o’clock. The concert there was on the 2nd, allowing the crew and the boys to relax on the 1st and get ready. Bella and Harry said goodnight to Niall as they went into their separate hotel rooms; Bella went into Harry’s because he pulled her inside by the hand.

The door closed behind them and Harry turned on the lights but dimmed them because they were too bright. All the sweat he had shed during the show had disappeared because before they went to the bar, all the boys had a shower. He smelt so good, too good. It was quiet. Bella’s heart hammered against her chest. She was nervous. She had never felt like this. Here with her was this huge international star, beloved by millions of females. But the love she felt for Harry was so deep, like he was the one she had always meant to love. Only Harry and no-one else.

“Harry…?”

God, how gullible do I sound? She was pretty certain beads of sweat started to cover the back of her neck, her hair back in a low loose bun, a few strands sticking to her slick skin. He looked at her, his face shrouded in shadow from the dim light. His beauty didn’t decrease at all. He was handsome in whatever light.

“…I have to tell you something…” This is it. This could make everything perfect or ruin all that we have. Bella took a deep breath and laid her free hand over his heart. His hand suddenly was on top of hers, clutching it warmly.

“So do I, beautiful.”

Bella looked up at him, her eyes wide. What…? Something bad? Something good? Her eyes were locked to his as the gentlest smile crept across his lips. Does that mean something good? Smiling usually means something good… She waited. The silence was horrendous. Fortunately, it ended only two seconds later. Harry’s lips parted, ready to speak. And that’s when she heard him say it.

“I love you.”

Notes

Cliffhangers are my favourite, I’m sorry <3 I seem to be getting less comments so please leave more because it lets me know if you’re enjoying the story or not :)

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