Forgive Me ~Louis Tomlinson Fanfiction~

Chapter 8

Heather's POV

It’s been a little bit over a fortnight since I’ve moved in with Louis. I’ve got to say that it's been amazing. It's like we're kids again but instead of going home at the end of the day, we just go to our rooms. Most of the time Louis ends up in my bed at some time in the night, or mine in his. The medication the doctors have made take, make me very… bi-polar. I wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweats and terrible dreams. Mostly where i’m suffocating. I don't really know why that is, but it's very persistent. During the day it's very hard for me to find motivation to do things. Also, when i do find something to do, i get very irritated with little things. The other day i was cooking Louis dinner instead of ordering out like we usually do. I was cutting up a tomato and for some reason i got very worked up when it didn't cut perfectly. Then when louis tried helping me i completely snapped.

He’s been putting up with me, though. I’m so lucky to have him in my life. I know i sound like a broken record but i mean it more and more everytime i say it. Everyday he gives more and more reasons to love him. Yes, i love him. Of course. How could i not? I always hear Harry or Niall or Liam ask Louis about how things are going and if anything has happened between us. Nothing has and i really hope that nothing will. Louis is like… He’s like the calm after a storm. He’s almost too perfect for me. We have too much history to just throw it away like that. I can't imagine my life without Louis and i'm not going to let anything like a dumb fling ruin that.

Though i can say that living with him has brought up some very unwanted feelings. I mean, I’ve loved him forever and I’ve always had this odd attraction to him but it's never this prominent. I find myself staring at him for longer than i should. Especially in the mornings when he's fresh out of the shower with nothing but boxers and jeans on. It does bring on a little fancy. I’ve caught him in the act a couple times too. Not like that you perverted twat! Like when i walk around in his over sized t shirts that are literally heaven, i catch him staring a little bit below my belt line. He’s not the only one though, Harry is a guilty son of a bitch.

I’ve been pushing the little voice in the back of my mind away and have just been enjoying the ride of life at this point. I’m not focusing on love or sexual innuendos that louis and his friends toss my way. Right now, I’m focusing on me. I’ve noticed that if you love life, Life will love you back. That's all i'm focusing on at the moment. Loving myself and living life.

Right now, at this very moment, Louis lies beside me in my newly furnished bed. His breath at a steady pace with a little snore escaping once in awhile. It’s currently seven in the morning and I’m wide awake, ready to go! I slowly get out of bed, not disturbing Louis at all.

The shower is nice and warm. My tense muscles relax as the steaming water hits them. I bathe myself but i didn't want to get out just yet. You know when the water is just the perfect temperature and you stand there swaying, letting it rain down your body? It just feels too good to just get out and leave. I’m not sure how long I was in there for but i finally got out when the damn hot water ran out. Way to rue the day mother fucker. I mentally flipped off the shower.

Louis was still passed out when i returned to the room. He was laying on his stomach with his head stuffed in between both pillows and his arms spread wide. I took this as the perfect photo opportunity. I grabbed my camera, wrapping the neck strap around my wrist and focusing on louis. The room was filled to the brim with natural lighting that saturated everything it touch. In my eyes, it was almost the mosts beautiful thing i've ever seen. I snapped a few pictures but they didn't give me the angle that i wanted. I quietly grabbed the desk chair, finally he bought me a new one, and moved it next to the corner of my side of the bed. After climbing a top of the chair, I snapped a few more photos. I pull the camera away from my face to fan through the images i just captured. The way that the lighting his Louis’ back made his muscles look so defined. His tattoo’s only added the most beautiful contrast to the white sheets and his pale skin. I am very satisfied.

Shit, you’re still in your towel Heather! My mind yelled at me. I grabbed a pair of black joggers and a cut off white t to throw on real fast. I didn't worry about throwing on a bra because, sadly, god didn't give me the gift of breasts so the mosquito bites on my chest didn't affect the way i wear shirts. At least i have a less chance of getting breast cancer, isn't wearing a bra increase your chances? I’m not sure, let's just go with i hope not.

I closed my wardrobe a little too hard, forgetting that i had a sleeping baby in my bed. He gave a slight rustle before returning to his sleep. He was so cute when he slept. He looked so happy and content with everything.

Stop it. The nasty voice in my head screeched.

I sighed, pulling my mind away from thoughts of louis and making my way downstairs to look for something for breakfast. I put the kettle on the stove and rummaged through the fridge. I grabbed the milk but noticed that the dates gone off. So was the tea cream. I sighed again, feeling agitation rise in my bones. You would never guess that we ever ate. The cupboards in the kitchen were really all for show because only two or three actually held anything. It was so frustrating considering it was probably one of the nicest kitchens i've ever seen. “Blimey.” I mutter to myself, pouring the milk and cream down the drain. I was startled when the kettle started to whistle, causing me to drop the glass bottle, shattering in the sink. “What the hell!” I yelled at the bottle. I ran my hands through my hair, closed my eyes and just gave a long sigh.

“What happened?” Louis yelled, running down the stairs and popping into the kitchen. I looked at him and for a second i didn't speak, my eyes were too busy exploring his body. The way this chest was pumping, the way his joggers clung to him in all the right way and the way they hung just a little bit lower than his hips. Ugh. “Earth to Heather?” He waved his hand, his voice was so deep from just waking up. Its cute the way it cracked when he says certain words.

Stop it, this time it was me who told myself to stop.

He ran over to the kettle that was still whistling and took it off the heat. “Um… I’m sorry. I just got startled. I’m sorry.” I repeated, running my hand through my hair.

He stood there with his hands on his hips, his hair was in a lazy mess. “How about we just go out to breakfast?” He offered.

“I think that sounds amazing.” I laughed at him, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing!” He came up and gave me a hug, lifting me off my feet and setting me on the counter. I pulled away, still standing in between my legs. It made me feel a little awkward. He didn't seem to notice. “I forgive you. You already know that. No more worries.” He grabbed my chin, making look him straight in the eyes. My breath stopped for a second at the sudden movement. His eyes were beautiful. They’re a light blue, like caribbean waters. You can easily get lost in them, like i am now. My eyes flickered down to his lips, which were very kissable at the moment. Subconsciously, I started to lean forward until we were a few inches apart.

STOP, my mind hissed again. I ripped the thought of louis from my head.

“Does that sounds good?” He asked, once again pulling me back to earth. Was he asking me a question? I have no idea what just came out of his mouth!

“Um.. yeah?” I said, not really knowing what else to say. I noticed that his hand still held my chin and his nether regions were resting against mine. Though i don't mind, i don't think it's appropriate. God, what am i doing? “Um.. do you just love my soft skin or what?” I laughed at him. His cheeks blushed cherry red.

“No.. um.. Sorry love.” He backed up and leaned on the counter opposite of me.

“No sorry!” I laughed at him, “Maybe you should taking your own advice. “ I picked at my chipped black nail polish. I looked up through my lashes to see him head upstairs. “Plus, I liked it.” I remarked to myself.

“Good.” He called mid-stair. I slapped myself on the forehead for that. God damn it, Heather! I can only laugh at myself.

---------------------------------

“No, no, no, no. It was your idea! You did it and then my dad caught us.” I fought back to him. Currently we are bantering about when Louis first kissed me. Yes, he was my first kiss and no i don't know how this was brought up into conversation.

“Ooh, you're right, you’re right. Oh my god, your dad was so angry at us.” He laughed so hard, he bit the end of his tongue from being loud. At the moment we were sat in the middle of cafe Un de Lue. I have no idea what that means but i just know that they have some fantastic french style breakfast. We are surrounded but a lot of elderly people who gave us criticizing looks. We did stick out like sore thumbs, We were dressed pretty much head to toe in black. The walls here were covered in a wrank pastel pink and the carpet a pea green. Everything here wanted to make me barf.

“Shh. Yeah, I know. It was disgusting and very slobbery. I hope you stepped your game up.”

“Oh i did.” He said with a mouthful of french toast with a mascarpone blueberry sauce. It looked amazing but not when it's swishing around in his mouth.

“That's so attractive.” I cooed his way with sarcasm dripping off of my tongue.

“Hey, you seem to like it.” He stuck his tongue out at me.

“Do not.” I moaned, picking food around with my fork. I felt my cheeks heat up. Damn you Tomlinson and your wit.

“Oh c’mon. You can't resist this.” He ran his hand down his torso and gave his body a little wiggle.

“Oh my god Louis, stop.” I laugh at him. He was too cute. An old lady at the table next to us gave louis a sinister look of hatred. I laughed even harder.

“Is there anything else I can get for you guys?” Our waitress asked us, completely coming out of nowhere. I spit us some tea. She was very pixie like. Her body was very petite, her hair almost a snow white was cut into a bob and was straight as a razor. She was very beautiful and so calm considering she was around the one and only Louis Tomlinson.

“No, i think this will be all.” Louis muffled into the napkin he was wiping his mouth with. He smiled brightly up to her as she handed over our tab. Her movements were fast but very swift, before I could even say thank you she was gone.

“I think she likes it.” I whispered to him, letting out a small chuckle.

“Oh hush.” He scolded, rolling his eyes at me.

Louis paid the tab, leaving her a hefty tip that she greatly deserved. They offered for us to walk through the back exit since the front exit had a small group of paps.

For as long as I’ve been around Louis, I never got used to the paps that literally bombarded you at no mercy at all. There was one time, where Louis flew me out to the states and we went out for his 21st birthday. Just getting into the restaurant was so hectic and chaotic. I swear i was three seconds away from having a seizure from all the flashing lights. We got through it though. Of course there were rumors of relationships between me and him because he held my hand through the crowd. I’ve gotten used to that aspect of his life. Anyways, back to the story! So we're having a good time, very intoxicated. We end up leaving and clumsy old me decided to wear five inch heels stilettos, great, right? Wrong. As we were swallowed into the crowd, my ankles gave out on me and i hit the ground. The paps really didn't give a shit about me and literally trampled me like it was the Running of Bulls in Spain. Nothing was broken but i did have a gnarly rip in my dress and lots of bruises and scratches. Ever since then, I’ve been terrified of them.

We made our way through the kitchen and let me tell you it was hot a hell in there, literally, it was hell. We exited through the back and ran to his Audi. Thankfully we made it out without being noticed. Or so i thought…

I was searching through my purse for my cigarettes when there was a loud banging on my window causing me to jump, hitting my head on the door frame. “Son of a bitch.” I rubbed the left side of my head. Louis laughed, earning him a stern glare. He tried to hide his smile but it was successful.

“LOUIS! LOUIS! ARE YOU GUYS DATING?”

“ARE YOU GOING SOLO?”

“IS SHE A COVER FOR YOU AND HARRY?”

“What the fuck?” We both jinx ourselves, giving each other strange looks. He rolled his window down just a crack. “Hello.” He threw on his fake smile to please them. Don’t get me wrong, Louis loves meeting his fans, he just has no love for paps. They’re like cockroaches you can't exterminate. They infringe on every aspect of your life and they don’t care who they take down in the process. Drama sells.

They all began to bombard him with more questions. There was one in particular that made a red flag go off in my head. He was a bald man with dark shades on and a large camera in his hands but he didn't seem to use it. He was observing more than interviewing. For some reason i felt like his eyes were piercing through my skin but his glasses were so dark that i couldn't see where his eyes were even directed. I couldn't shake the feeling i had, it's like time just slowed down and i couldn't stop staring at him. Louis didn't seem to notice though. He was smiling and trying to answer as many questions he could.

I reached over and grabbed Louis arm that was resting on the shifter. He looked over for a split second. “Can we go? I’m sorry.” I whispered to him. He gave me a little nod.

“Alright, alright, alright guys.” There he goes again with the damn Matthew Mcconaughey. “I gotta go. Have a good day!” He waved and rolled up the window. “I’m sorry about that. Management said i should start talking more. Good PR.” He shrugged, and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Since when do you listen to management?” I laughed, putting my phone on the aux and turning on some music. Troye Sivan flowed out of the speakers.

“I don’t know, sometimes i don't want to be the annoying twat. I’ll leave that to Harry.” He laughed. I didn't want to tell Louis about that guy so i just let it be. I honestly didn't know what that was about. It could've just been some weird guy? After a couple minutes Louis started to sing along to an Halsey song, Gasoline to be exact. I watched in awe.

Are you insane like me?
Been in pain like me?
Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?
Just to pour that mother fucker down the drain like me?
Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

I laughed at him, taking a drag off my cigarette and took over the next part.

Are you high enough without the Mary jane like me?
Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?
Do the people whisper ‘bout you on the train like me?
Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?

Then we both sang the chorus.

And all the people say
You can't wake up, this is not a dream
You're part of a machine, You are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen
Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

I loved listening to Louis sing solo. His voice was so sincere and soft. It's so beautiful. I let him finish the rest of the song while i finished my cigarette. Just when I thought things were going nice and good my phone started ringing, cutting off Louis jam.

“What the hell mate.” I just stuck my tongue out at him and reached for my phone.

My breath caught and i froze.

“Are you going to answer it?’ Louis laughed, all i could do was stare at the screen. He turned into his driveway about to pull up to the gate when the car came to a complete stop. “Holy shit. What is he doing here?” He asked to no one in particular. He ripped off his seatbelt and threw open his door. “You have some balls you know that?” He yelled.

“I’m sorry mate, please just hear me out.” Sebastian pleaded with his hands held out, one hand held his phone. Louis walked right over to him and got in his face.

“Get the fuck off of my property Sebastian. We have nothing to say to you.” Louis spat in his face. For a split second, Sab’s eyes flickered to mine. My stomach flipped and not in a good way. Sebastian looked like shit. His hair was flopped over, in shambles, like she hasn't showered in a couple days and huge bags sagged under his eyes. His clothes didn't match his face though, he has on a grey tailored suit that looked just like it came out of his father's closet.

“Louis please, just listen.” He pleaded more, he was completely pushed against his car at this point.

“How the fuck could you do that to her? You’re best friend?” Louis hands were balled up so tight that his knuckles were white. I could only imagine how red his face is right now. I couldn't get myself to get out of the car, my knees are tucked so tight into my chest that i can barely breathe.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry Heather!” He yelled, Louis didn't seem to like that very much because he grabbed Sebastian by his collar and brought his fist up, ready to strike. The sound of him saying my name, made the hairs on my neck stand up. I felt my eyes starting to sting.

“Don’t you dare do that to her. You have no right to speak to her. I’m giving you three seconds to get in your car and go.” Louis pushed him, making sab stumble. They stared at eachother for a second before Sab got back in his car and left. Louis just stood there with his head in his hands. I still couldn't get myself to get out of the car, i was still in shock.

The depression i felt a while ago started to haze over me again. Why can’t i just one good day without some shit happening to me? Why can't i just be happy? Why do i have to do this shit to Louis, he's too good for this? The tears started to fall. “I’m sorry.” I cried into thin air.

Notes

I hope you guys enjoy this update! It's a little bit longer but i feel like you get to see the playful side of them. I promise this story gets happier and more unfolds. I'm just trying to keep it at a good pace!

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Have a good weekend you guys!

xx