Forgive Me ~Louis Tomlinson Fanfiction~

Chapter 6

“What the hell was that?” Louis finally broke the silence in the car that was full of tension.

“Louis I told you I needed to talk to you.” I didn't want to look at him, I just stared out the window watching the city go by.

“Well talk.” His was pissed. I looked over at him finally but his eyes were glued to the road. I looked back at harry and niall but they just looked at me. I could feel the judgment. I turned around and looked back out the window with a long sigh.

My stomach did a flip and I felt like I was going to puke. I swallowed the lump in my throat and began, “Well I've known Victoria for a lot longer than you think. I've known her a good two years I think. Um.. Remember when we to Edinburgh?” I looked over to him but he didn't look at me. He just nodded his head. “Well I met her then. I didn't know she was into all that shit though. I just thought she was really cool and outgoing. Well when you went on tour a couple months after that I called her and saw if she wanted to hang out. I took a trip to Edinburgh and we hung out and then she asked me if I smoked. And I said yeah but not often.” I looked at him again. Back in the day me, louis and Sebastian, like every other teenager, smoked. We smoked a lot and even still to this day Louis does but not like he used to. Its was more of a stress reliever/ inspiration processor thing for him.

“So you smoked with her?’ Niall asked from the backseat pulling my attention away from my thoughts.

“Yeah, and we ended up being really good friends. Sebastian was even really into her. Then she really started showing her colors. That's why i never introduced her to you. I knew you wouldn't like her. Then when i graduated uni, I couldn't find work and was struggling, you know that. Well Sebastian told me that Victoria was looking for a “Business Partner”. One thing led to another and i ended up selling for her. The job i told you about, the one at the factory. That wasn't true. I'm sorry. You have no idea how shitty i felt about lying, Louis. I'm so sorry.” I looked over to him and for a split second i saw him look at me but we kept his eyes on the road.

“Can you drop me off at my house?” Harry asked from the backseat. Louis didn't reply but her turned down harrys road that was upcoming. I didn't talk until they were out of the car. Harry gave me a hug and handed me the bong that he held in his hand. “I'm glad your feeling better Heather. Ill see you soon.” Niall gave me a hug also and said his goodbyes, then me and louis made our way home.

“Listen, I know you really pissed at me but you have to realise that I couldn't tell you.” I said as soon ass we made our way back onto the main road. He turned to me for a second.

“Why?” was all he said.

“Because how would it look if Louis Tomlinson's best friend was a drug dealer? Could you imagine if that got out?” I asked. I knew he knew i made a point but he just sat there and didn't say a word. “Anyways, I did that for the longest time. And don't act like you were the only person that i lied to Louis. I lied to everyone. My whole family, all my friends, well only the ones i had left. I lied to everyone who was important to me. I even lied to my fucking dying father, Louis. For at least a year. I was making so much money, I paid all of my father's hospital bills and for his funeral. I was so surprised no one knew. I really don't know how you didn't know. I was trafficking so many drugs Louis. Remember when i said i went to ireland with a some friends, I think you were in Malaysia. Well i had to take a shipment of 60 kilos of meth with me and get it across the border. It was successful and made 10,000 pounds off of it. I had it made. Then things went south. My mom found out. She kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. I mean, did she even come to the hospital? I didn't think so.” I felt a giant lump in my throat form, i had to bring my knees to my chest and squeeze my legs tight. “Can you stop at this gas station?” I asked him and my voice broke.

He didn't respond but he turned into it. I jumped out of the vehicle and I looked behind me as i walked up to the shop and he was watching me but as soon as i looked back he turned away. I know that i fucked up. I wish that he would understand. I really wish that he would. I don't want to lose him. He's like my family. I can't lose him.

I walked into the gas station and walked up to the counter. The lady who stood in front of me looked older and like she hasn't slept in years. She looked so miserable and her tone even fit that,”Hi, what can i do for you?” She looked at me and there was no emotion.

“Um.. can i get a pack of marlboro menthol shorts?” I asked her, i leaned a little on the counter to try and find my green pack. She grabbed them and put them under the scanner. “That will be £9.95.” She monotonly spoke.

“Can you break a £50?” i ask her, i felt for the small wad of notes i held in my pocket and fished it out. I pulled one out and put it on the counter. I looked over to the side and saw a small set up of lighters and grabbed two off of it and threw it on the counter. “I’ll take these too.”

When she saw the money in my hand, that was the only time i saw actual emotion display on her face and her eyebrows rise. “Yeah. Your new total is £11 even." I was shocked when she said yes, it's so hard to find small stores like this that will break a £50. She gave me change and i made my way to the car. I packed my cigarettes and stuck one in my mouth and lit it. I felt a little stress roll off the shoulders and i took my first puff. I got back in the passenger seat and buckled in.

“Feel better?” Louis said looking over to me and putting the vehicle into first gear.

“Much.” I laughed but he didn't laugh with me. I knew he wouldn't get over it that easy. He held his hand out as we waited for traffic to give him the opportunity to pull out. I raised an eyebrow of my own at him. He snapped his head at me when i didn't give him what i clearly knew what he wanted.

“Give me one please.” was all he said. He didn't even ask. He just demanded. I pulled the pack from the cupholder and passed him one.

“Do you need a light?” I asked, leaning over a bit to grab a lighter but he waved his hand and opened the center console to fish for a lighter and lit the cigarette. I just watched in amazement.

“I picked up my own habits.” He said as he ashed it out the car window. I did the same.

I didn't push it and continued with my story. “Anyways, my mom kicked me out. Blah blah blah. I didn't tell you that while you were away. I was really embarrassed about it. I wanted to tell you about all of this but i felt like i was saving you. But I didn't lie to you about moving in with some girl who was going to uni because when i didn't live with Victoria she said she went to uni but when i moved in, she told me that she never did go. We were both lied to. We just continued to do business together. Sebastian knew about this but this is because him and Victoria we a “Thing”. They were always together. I'm pretty sure he was doing business with her too but i don't know. All i know is that they were pretty much dating. Do you want to know why me and sebastian don't get along anymore?” I asked, taking another drag and ashing it out the window again.

“Yes. I want to know everything heather.” I kept his eyes on the road still.

“Well, when things weren't working with Victoria, Sebastian started talking to me more. I told him that i didn't want to get in the middle of him and Victoria and he always told me that we've always been friend and that it was no big deal. I really don't want to tell you what happened Louis…” I trailed off. He finally looked at me but his eyes held anger.

“Tell me Heather.”

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. I didn't open my eyes until i was done talking. “One night not too long after you left for tour. Me and Sebastian were hanging out at the club Fresno in downtown London. We were having fun and letting loose. We both had a lot of stress on our shoulders with him and starting his new lawyer job and me with getting kicked out and everything. It was nice just to get out and have fun. Well, we both got a little too drunk and when we got back to the apartment he wouldn't take no for an answer…” I opened my eyes and looked out of the window to avoid Louis look. I noticed that we were getting very close to Louis house. I took one last drag and flicked my bud out of the window.

“What does that mean?” He asked, I could tell he said it through gritted teeth.

“He kissed me. It was terrible. I pulled away and pushed him away to tell him that it isn't right. I have feeling for someone else. He didn't like that. He kept going on and on about how this certain person wasn't right for me and that he’s what i need. I tried pushing him off me but he had me pinned on the wall. I couldn't do anything, Louis. He shoved his hand down my pants and i couldn't do anything about it…” I felt tears streaming down my face. Every limb on my body was shaking, my teeth were even chattering. We pulled into Louis driveway as we passed through the gate. “I was crying and trying to tell him to stop and that's when Victoria came around the corner and hit him with the lamp. I lost all respect for him and even for myself because for some reason i blamed myself for it.” I ran my fingers through my hair and tried wiping my tears away but new ones replaced the old. I grabbed another cigarette and lit it up.

Louis threw the car into park and pulled me into his arms which made me cry even more. The cigarette i just lit fell to the floor and probably burnt a small hole in his liner but we didn't care. His hand held my head to his chest and pet my hair lightly. “It’s ok.” He cooed as i just cried. I sobbed into his chest. I didn't think this would happen. “Come on, let's get you inside.” I just nodded.

We made it inside and while Louis went off to do something else i walked upstairs and made it to his bedroom and threw myself under his duvet. I heard footsteps make there way to his bed and i felt Louis sit next to me. I just stayed hid and let the tears fall. His hand touched my back and it made me flinch. He pulled his hand away, “I'm not going to hurt you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes and started building my walls back up. I took a very deep breathe and built a dam for the tears to be blocked. I kept taking deep breathes until i knew i was ok. I slipped my hand out from under the blanket and held it open for louis to grab. When i felt his hand grasp mine i pulled it back under the blanket into my chest and held onto it like it was my childhood teddy bear. I felt him raise off the bed but his hand never left mine. He pulled the blanket up and slid underneath it and laid next to me. This reminded me of when we were i was 15 and he was 16 and i went through my first breakup. He snuck over in the middle of the night and we stayed up all night just laying in bed next to each other. He was always there for me. Even when i didn't ask him to be.

“Is that why you got into actually taking the pills?” He asked in such a low voice that i barely even heard him.

“Yes. At first. Well, actually i started drinking. A lot. As you know, I lost my license. Then i needed something else since they put me on a breathalyzer. They always say that the first rule to drug dealing is to never take any of own supply. Well, the dumb bitch that i am i started taking some here and there. And it ended up being a lot. It got so bad that i started depending on it every morning to even function.” I explained. He wrapped an arm around me and buried my head into his chest. It's amazing how at home this felt. I felt my stomach flutter. I didn't deserve such a good person in my life. “I'm sorry Louis.”

“I understand now. Don't apologize.”

I don't know how long we laid there for after that but i drifted off into a deep sleep.

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Louis POV

I lay there awake as Heather was asleep. Her little snores were so cute. She was balled up with her head pretty much borrowed under my chest. It felt so good to know the truth. I didn't feel weird about her anymore. I didn't feel like she was hiding anything anymore. I felt like a huge piece of shit though for letting Sebastian do that to her. For having everything get out of control. I couldn't do anything about it.. To think about that makes we want to vomit but also hunt him down. I tried grabbing my phone out of my back pocket without waking her up. She stirred a bit but remained asleep. I pulled the blanket down so she wasn't hiding under the blanket anymore. I opened up my phone and texted Harry.

To: Harry

Text: I’m sorry bout earlier. She told me everything and listen man, it's fucked.

It was only 9 so i knew he was still awake. Only a couple minutes go by when i get a text back.

From: Harry

Text: We got it. Its ok. We just don't need this getting out. Whatever it is. Im not worried about us. Im worried about her.

I didn't reply. I turned my phone off and layed there thinking about everything. How could i've been so… oblivious? How could i of not known this was going on? I feel hurt because not only was she not telling me about any of this but neither was Sebastian. Even though he sat on my couch and acted like nothing even happened. He sat there and put everything on her. It pushed me over the edge. I felt anger run through my body. I really just don't understand how he could do that. Even if i was pissed drunk i would never do that her. I just couldn't. To think that i've grown up with this kid and to think that i thought that i knew and trusted him. It just goes to show, again, how oblivious i am...

I need to shower, i told myself, pushing everything in my head to the side. I slowly got out of bed without disturbing her in the process. I grabbed a pair of boxers and walked into my bathroom. The shower was the perfect temp and i let the water wash over my muscles, washing the tension away. It felt so good. I began lathering my hair when i heard a little knock at the door.

“Come in.” I yelled.

“Can i go pee?” She said through the door. I spun around so that the most she could see was my butt. My shower was all glass and the towel was right next to it. She was going to end up seeing something but it didn't really bother me.

“Yeah.” I said, continuing to wash my hair.

“Thank you. I'm not looking by the way.” i heard her shoes shuffle on the tile floor and her start peeing. “Holy shit.” She laughed. “Do you have a tattoo of heart the says mom on your ass?” She laughs even harder, i hear the toilet flush. The shower went ice cold for a second.

“Thank asshole and yes i do. I was very drunk in the process and it was free.” I explained but ended up laughing at myself. “Get out of here you weirdo.” I shouted playfully. I heard her shuffle out of there and the door close. Even stupid shit like that with her can put me in such a better mood.

I rushed to get out of the shower and dry off. I threw on my boxers and walked back into my room to see her passed out again, this time in my boxers and a tee. She wasn't even tucked under the covers, she was asleep on the edge of the bottom of the bed. I walked over to her and pulled her towards the pillows. She was half asleep and pulled the blankets over her and got herself comfy before falling back into her cute little snores again. I got in the bed next to her and turned the light out.

It took me a while to fall asleep because everything was still trying to process in my head. Slowly but surely, Heather made her way to my side of the bed. She had her arm across my chest and her head in the crook of my neck. Oddly enough it comforted me and i slowly drifted into a nice sleep.

Notes

So this is a pretty heavy chapter. Does this make sense to you guys? This is just the gist to Heathers story but does it paint the picture for you?

How do you guys feel about this chapter? Comment, Vote, Rate and Subscribe!

Hope you enjoy!

xx