Perfect

LIAM
I look at the stars as a way of forgetting her but they only remind me of her eyes. We’re on the floor of the terrace and I don’t even remember how that happened exactly. All I know, is that we’re lying there, next to each other and looking up at the sky and I keep asking myself how did I get here? But it’s not like I’m complaining.
“Liam,” Jamie says. “Do you know anything about constellations?”
I have to squint to see the constellations that are up in the horizon.
“No,” I say, and she snickers. “Neither do I.”
Her hand is touching mine but I don’t have the courage to actually hold it. It’s giving me goosebumps and I wonder if she notices and if she’s having the same problem. We only had one refill of our drinks and I’m not really drunk, just enjoying a slight buzz. But she might be a bit of a lightweight because ever since the refill she keeps giggling at the tiniest jokes. I know I’m not that funny. But I like that she’s having a good time with me.
I don’t want this to stop.
“Do you believe in destiny, Liam?”
“Not really.”
“Skeptic?”
“You could say that,” I say. “But I prefer to think of it as intelligence.”
“That’s a bit presumptuous!”
“Not if you believe in stupid things like destiny.”
“Predeterminism is actually a very strong philosophy.”
“I’ll give you that.”
“So, you never think about it? Ever?”
“Well,” I confess. “Maybe sometimes, I toy with the idea.”
“So a part of you does believe in it?”
“I wouldn’t say that exactly.”
“Then what would you say exactly?”
“You know what,” I say. “You clearly wanted to bring this up. So forget about me. Tell me what you think about it. You really think everything we do is predestined? That there’s no free will?”
“Honestly,” she says. “At times I like the idea of fate. Of having someone, a soulmate…or something.”
“Wow, you’re really into the whole fate thing, huh?”
“You don’t think soulmates exist?”
“Honestly,” I say. “I think this is the sort of stuff that sells women’s magazines. ‘Find your soulmate in ten easy steps!’ Wear this, eat that, think the way we want you think—until you become some Xerox copy of a Xerox copy of someone who makes money from the magazines.”
“I suppose you have a point.”
“Look, Jamie. Reality is boring, okay? That’s why we need fantasy. And this stuff, soulmates and destinies and the perfect marriage, this is stuff we’re sold every day from people who make a living out of conning us.”
She turns to me and her eyes are looking right into mine.
“What’s so wrong with believing in a little magic, Liam?”
Oh my God, I want to kiss her so bad.
This situation is getting out of control. She has a boyfriend, my brain reminds me. But is it me or is she actually leaning in? Does she maybe…want this?
Well, Liam, there’s only one way to find out.

Notes