Perfect

JAMIE
Plato was known for saying that every heart sings a song incomplete until another heart whispers back. I don’t know why I’m thinking of that as I wait for Harry’s text. Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m waiting. It’s not as if we’re together, not as if we’ve even seen each other after the incident in Vegas, there’s nothing that binds us and yet for some reason I hold on to this hope—an unexplained, unreasonable hope that keeps me glued to the phone screen. The room is barely big enough to hold a single bed and a tiny closet and the apartment building is in a notorious side of the city, but it’s the only place Kate and I can afford at the moment. But you know what I’m fine with it because there are people who sleep on the streets every night, people who are without homes and without families. At least I have Kate. She might not be the best roommate but she is a wonderful friend and there’s nothing I would change about her. She was the one who supported me when everyone had left my side. When my own family treated me like I was a burden on them, Kate accepted me, in her life, in her apartment, in her big, beautiful heart. And that’s worth more to me than any blood ties I will ever hold close to my heart.
“You know you told him not to call,” Kate, my roommate, takes a seat on the bed next to me and starts wolfing down her bag of chips. Kate is incredibly attractive and she always has a horde of men coming to her room, but these days, she seems to be with this one guy and I have a feeling he’s going to stick around. I’m happy for them because they look like they make each other happy. Kate works at a jewelry shop in the day and at night she moonlights as a freelance sales assistant, a job she does from her room using nothing but her laptop with an online company that pays her well. I know that because I saw her last two paychecks. Kate says the company is always looking to hire new people and those paychecks definitely swayed me but I’m not sure if I want the pressure of a second job.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kate.”
“Oh please,” Kate says, with a full mouth. “You’ve been glued to that phone for a whole week! You’re clearly waiting for someone to call!”
“How do you know it’s Harry I’m waiting for?”
“Because,” Kate says. “I know you.”
“Well, you’re wrong.”
“So, you’re not waiting?”
“Of course not.”
“Then, can I call him?” Kate asks. “Cause he’s loaded and hot as fuck. I don’t see anything wrong with him!”
“Shut up, Kate.”
Kate grins. “Oh my God,” she says. “Look at you, you’re blushing! You big fat liar!”
“Okay fine,” I say at last, knowing there’s no hiding all of this from my best friend. “I do want to talk to him! Really badly!”
“So why’d you tell him not to call?”
“Because,” I say. “It was the right thing to do.”
“The right thing to do?” Kate says. “This is Harry Styles we’re talking about, Jamie. Women flock to him like Americans flock to chain stores before Black Friday.”
“I don’t want to be one of those women,” I say. “And if he likes those women, then fine by me. It’s not like I can ever compete with them.”
“Jamie,” Kate says. “This isn’t just about the fact that you’re going to lose him if you’re too late. This is about the fact that I’ve never seen you like someone this much and you’re making a mistake by not letting him know that.”
“He will know. Just…not now.”
“So when?”
“Kate, he just got out of a really serious relationship!”
“That was over a month ago!”
“Exactly,” I say, getting up to walk over to the wardrobe. “That’s not enough time.”
“Jamie,” Kate says, tossing aside the snack bag. “You and your stupid rules!”
“It is what it is. Now help me pick something to wear!”
Kate walks towards my wardrobe and starts the process of rejecting everything I show her. Still looking at one outfit, she turns to me. “So,” she says. “How’re things at the new job?”
After that whole incident with Alex, I really couldn’t return to that place because of all the stuff it reminded me of. I know it’s stupid, but to be honest, I feel much better at my new workplace. Kate was the one who helped me find the job so that’s what I do now. The people aren’t half as mean as they were back at the law firm.
“Kate,” I say, looking at the pile of rejected clothing. “You realize I have to wear something.”
“With this wardrobe,” Kate says. “You’re better off wearing nothing.”
“You know what,” I say, falling dejectedly on the bed. “I give up. I’m not going.”
“Don’t say that!” Kate says, coming towards me. “I’m sure we can find something in my closet!”
“It’s not just that,” I say. “I don’t think I want to go.”
“Oh no,” Kate says. “You don’t get to do that, Jamie.”
“Do what?”
“Refuse to go!”
“I don’t want to, Kate! You and Zander should go!”
“But Zander invited us both!”
“Why is it so important to you that I go?”
“Because,” Kate says. “You’re my best friend! And OBLIVION is the best club ever and I want to go there and drink expensive drinks that Zander can pay for and if, in the process you happen to meet someone hotthen it’s going to be a great night!”
I look at Kate. “Fine,” I say. “I’ll go. But if I find that you and Zander are trying to hook me up with some loser, I’m going to be out of there and you’ll lose a best friend.”
“Deal,” Kate says, happily and pulls me up. “Now let’s go find you that dress!”
My phone rings and I pick it up. Nothing from Harry, unfortunately. But the message isn’t entirely useless.
“What is it?” Kate asks.
“Just an #HT update,” I say.
“#Hashtag?” Kate says. “Since when do you read gossip sites?”
Since Harry became the topic of that gossip, but I can’t say that to Kate. “You’re the one who told me to subscribe like a month ago,” I say instead, hoping Kate won’t notice my nervousness.
“So,” Kate asks as we go to her room. “What’s the update?”
I read from my phone. “It looks as though Mr. Styles is hooking up with random females in Vegas hotel rooms instead of Mrs. Gleeson now but there is one girl in particular who isn’t so random. So far our efforts to track her down have been in vain. We’ll have to wait and see if this is just a hookup or if the bad boy is looking for more? Fear not, loyal Hash Taggers, for I, #HT, have taken it upon myself to find her. #HotelRoomRendenzvouzAreScandalous”
Kate stares at me. “I can’t believe that update is about you.”
I don’t even know what to say. I feel like someone is trying to air my dirty laundry right in the middle of the busiest street in Springvale and they’re doing it without my permission and I have no say in what’s happening. “What am I going to do, Kate?”
Kate grabs my hand. “Nothing,” she says. “You will come with me to the club and we will have fun and forget about this stupid website.”
“Kate, this stupid website broke up the Patterson marriage!”
“The Pattersons didn’t break up because of #Hashtag, Jamie. That marriage ended because they were both cheating, and because they were keeping secrets. You don’t have any secrets, so there’s no reason for you to be afraid of them.”
I have no choice but to take some courage in what Kate is saying. From somewhere we hear a phone ringing and Kate runs toward her room to get it. “It’s Zander,” she says and takes the call. “Hey Zander! Yes, we’re almost ready! No, I’m not going to make you wait! Yes! Okay, Zander! See you in ten.”
Kate turns to me when the call ends. “We have ten minutes to get ready for the club, Jamie.”
“Ten minutes?” I say to her. “Doesn’t Zander know who he’s going out with?”
“I know right,” Kate says and rushes over to the closet, starts taking out clothes and rejecting them the same way she was doing for my clothes. Suddenly, she stops and holds out a dress. “Oh my God, Jamie. This is perfect! Isn’t it perfect?!” she says excitedly. “The jury has spoken, Jamie. This is the dress you’re wearing tonight.”
I’ve never seen that dress before and it looks new so I feel a little bad that Kate has to loan it to me. “It looks expensive, Kate.”
“So?”
“So, I don’t know. Can’t you find me something else?”
“No,” Kate says and shoves the dress towards me. “Take this and get dressed. Zander is going to be here any minute.” And then before I leave, she turns to me again. “And you can’t wear a dress like this without makeup! You know that thing women use to paint over their features?”
“Hey, I know how to use makeup!”
“Really?” Kate says. “Because I could have sworn the word was a mystery to you.”
“That’s a low blow, Kate. I will go to my room, and I will show you that I have makeup skills too!”
Kate laughs. “We’ll see about that.” She pauses. “You know what, Jamie. I’d love it if you could keep that dress. I don’t need it. It doesn’t really go with my skin tone.”
She already starts to strip so I make it all the way back to my own room and close the door.
I look at the dress.
It’s beautiful.
Not too plain and not to garish and the fabric is soft and nice to the touch. Whoever bought Kate this dress has amazing taste. But the way she is clearly trying to get rid of it, maybe it’s not a gift from Zander but from someone whose memory she wants to forget. If there’s anyone who knows a little something about keeping bad memories away it’s me, so I accept Kate’s generosity.

Notes