Perfect

LOUIS
I watched from the sidelines as Mia sat next to that stranger. They started talking right
away and it seemed as though the stranger was really into her. Why wouldn’t he be? Mia was one of those women who always got what they wanted from men. Her beauty wasn’t subtle—she was gorgeous enough to turn heads and confident enough to pull off being sexy. She was the complete package. Fine so I might be biased because I’m head over heels in love with her but that’s beside the point. Just watching her talking to that guy is making me jealous like nobody’s business. I hate fighting but I wouldn’t shy away from one either. Within minutes, he’s buying her drinks and my hand is itching to beat the shit out of him.
At this point, he’s basically asking for it.
“Louis?” Harry says and Niall’s with him and they both take their places on the booth. “Is that Mia?” Niall asks.
“No, Niall, that’s Mia’s ghost accepting a drink from a complete stranger!” I snap.
“Jeez,” Niall says. “Take it down a notch. It’s not the first time she’s doing it. I thought you were okay with the whole open relationship thing.”
“I fucking lied okay!”
“You think getting mad at him is the solution?” Harry says.
“Some nerve you have to tell me I have unresolved issues,” I say. “You’re sleeping with a woman who’s twenty years older than you and that would have been fine, if she was worth that kind of admiration. But she isn’t. Natalie’s the kind of woman you stay away from, that you never even touch because her one touch could turn you into stone and you’ll be walking around with a permanent hard-on and no one to fuck, for the rest of your life.”
“I know you thought that metaphor was clever, Louis. But it wasn’t.”
If he can be cold, so can I. “Yeah well,” I say. “I forgot to take classes to learn the correct usage of metaphor in sarcasm because I was busy fucking the right women.”
“Why are you two fighting?” Niall says. “You need to stop.”
“Or what, Baby-face?” I know Niall hates it when I use such terms of endearment. “You’re going to call the cops?”
“Well well well,” Liam’s voice forces us to pay attention to him. “Look who it is. The Consistently-Virgin-Niall and the Two Horny Gentlemen of Vegas.”
“Why the hell is everyone throwing around so many bad literary references?” Harry says. “I’m having a hard enough time getting over my roofie hangover.”
“You know Harry,” I say, finally knowing I have something better I can mock him about. “Everyone knows why people get roofied. So maybe that guy was trying to get sweet on you. Just wondering if you had something to do with it? I mean, Harry, is there anything we should know? Like finally coming out of the proverbial closet?”
Harry looks like he’s about to tear me a new one. “Don’t joke about that, Louis. It was kind of a horrible experience.”
“You had sex!” I say. “What’s so horrible about that?”
Harry looks like he’s hiding something. Whatever it is I wonder if I did something to make him not trust me. Was there something else? Besides him claiming to hallucinate Natalie and fucking that girl…what’s her name…Jamie…yeah! Jamie-whatever. Maybe something else happened. But I have no time to think about that because Mia is now standing and she and the other guy are ready to leave the bar.
This is stupid.
Why do I agree to this kind of stuff?
I finish my drink and stand.
“Louis,” Liam says. “Where’re you going?”
“To keep an eye on her,” I say and start walking.
“Louis!” Harry says. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
But I’m not staying back for anyone.
I follow the two of them and they both stop at the guy’s room. I stay hidden, which is not easy considering we’re in a hallway, but the guy is pretty drunk so I don’t think he’s going to notice. Mia is openly flirting, touching his arm here and there, biting her lip seductively. The guy is sporting an erection that I can see from where I’m standing a few feet away. I want to just go and drag her away but I’m curious to know what she’s going to do next.
“So,” Mia says. “Would you like me to come in?”
“Would I leave you out here all alone?”
“You’re so sweet,” Mia says. “And so so nice!”
“I can be nice,” he says. “But I can also be incredibly naughty.”
I make a gagging gesture but then remember no one’s actually watching me spy on these two. I mean, this guy is a total jackass. Every line he says next also sounds like it’s coming from some Worst Pickup Lines articles that you read online and think are so ridiculous because no one would actually use them. Well, this dude was proving the experts wrong. He was taking the cheesiest lines he could find, and for a second it occurred to me that maybe he knew what he was doing and was using the phrases ironically, but I know he’s not that smart. The worst part? He’s using them on a girl who is way out of his league. I’d say I’m curious as to what will happen next but I already know what that would be.
“Let me help you with that,” Mia says to him, and takes his keycard.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I wasn’t planning on being this drunk. I don’t even know how it happened I barely had two drinks.”
Mia smiles. “I’m kind of a lightweight myself.”
“But that’s the thing,” he says, using his hand to gain his balance on the wall. “I’m not a lightweight.”
Mia opens the door with the keycard and waits.
“Aren’t you going in?” he asks.
“After you,” Mia says.
He smiles and goes in. Mia pockets the keycard and steps inside, but before she does I run like hell to get to the door and manage to lodge a foot in before it closes. I can hear the two of them talking, Mia is probably pouring more drinks from the sound of it, and I go in. When the door behind me closes, it makes noise which alerts them both. Mia turns to look at me, with a glass in her hand that she’s about to hand to him, but I go and take it from her. I take one sip. “You know I hate gin Mia,” I say.
Mia doesn’t speak.
But he does. “Who are you?” he yells. “And what’re you doing in my room?”
“Mia,” I say. “You didn’t tell him about me? How rude.” I go over to the guy and shake hands with him and he does it because he doesn’t have much choice. He knows he’s too drunk to do anything. “Louis,” I introduce myself. “Louis Connolly. I’m Mia’s boyfriend.”
He stares at Mia.
“It’s an open relationship,” Mia says to him.
The guy turns to me again. “Leave now,” he says. “Or I’m going to call security.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I don’t think you’re going to do it buddy.”
“Oh?” he says, and heads to the phone receiver on the bedside, but I stop him before he can reach it. I grab his shoulder and drag him in the middle of the room, make him kneel on the floor.
“All those boxing workouts are paying off,” Mia says. “You finally have a chance to show them off, Louis.”
I grin, as I take out the Zip-ties from my jeans’ pocket and tie his hands behind his back.
“Take whatever you want,” the guy says, pleading. “Please, just let me go! Take whatever you want! I have plenty of money! You don’t have to do this!”
“Oh,” I say. “We don’t want your money, Alex.”
He goes silent. Before, this could have been a random robbery but now it’s become something else for him, so of course he’s got nothing to say. I punch him in the face, just to make him understand who he is dealing with. He just stays on the floor and looks up at me. “How…how do you know my name?”
“You drugged a friend of ours, Alex.”
“Friend?” he’s obviously trying to remember something.
“Do you drug a lot of girls, Alex?” I say. “Is that why you can’t remember?”
“Jamie?” he asks, as if he can’t believe it. “Jamie’s your friend?”
“Bingo.”
I take out a ball-gag from my jacket pocket. “And now you’re going to pay for it, Alex.”
Mia looks at the ball-gag. “Seriously, Louis? You’re going to waste our best gag on him? This stuff is expensive!”
“I’ll get you a new one babe,” I say and start to tie the gag but Alex looks up at me pleadingly.
“No, please! I’ll make up for it! I’ll…I’ll…” he says but he can’t form the next words. He obviously feels dizzy and shakes a little. “What…what’s happening to me?” he asks, and I can see the fear in his eyes. I look for his wallet and find it his pants’ pocket and I rifle through the contents that consist of a picture of a hot girl who isn’t Jamie, an ID, almost five thousand dollars in cash, and a few business cards.
“You think you’re the only one who can score roofies, Mr. Alex O Keefe Managing Director Legal Department?” I read the name and title off his business card.
“But how did you…”
“Drug you?” I ask.
“That would be me,” Mia steps up and I put an arm around her and we kiss. She breaks off. “But I can’t take all the credit you know! You were incredibly easy to con owing to the fact that you’re a whore.”
“I’m so hot right now,” I say, nuzzling her neck. “I could fuck you right here. He’s going to be unconscious in a minute anyway; he won’t know what’s going on. What do you say, babe?”
“How can you even think about sex right now, Louis?” Mia complains.
The guy starts screaming and calling out for help, so I gag him to stop the damn screaming. “Not so much fun, now that it’s happening to you, is it Alex?” I say. “Let this be a lesson, O’Keefe.” I grab his hair and yank it hard and his muffled screams get lost in the gag. “Say it with me,” I say. “Thou shalt not roofie people.”
He mumbles something incoherent.
It makes me grin. “Again,” I say.
He does the whole mumble sounds again.
That makes me laugh.
Mia rolls her eyes. “Wow,” she says. “You’re really getting off on this, Louis. Aren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“A man getting off on power,” she says. “How original.”
“Hey,” I say. “That’s not fair! I also get off when you use the gag on me!”
She comes towards me and licks the outside of my ear. “I would have done that today,” she says, in a sexy voice and then, in a complete turn of events, shoves at me. “But you had to use it on him!”
I kiss Mia and we start making out. But before it gets more intense, she stops me. I’m wondering why she’s doing this, when I see what she’s looking at. Her eyes are watching Alex and Alex is watching our little exchange and mumbling something that sounds a lot like please let me go.
“I can’t let you go,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
“How do you even know what he’s saying?” Mia asks.
I wink at her.
She rolls her eyes again. “Very funny Louis,” she says. “And why isn’t he out yet? I gave him a big enough dose to tranquilize a horse.”
“Oh he’s going to pass out,” I say, walking up to Alex. “Maybe he just needs a gentle nudge in the right direction.” I send Alex a fist that sends him reeling to the floor.
He’s out.
Like a motherfucking light.
“What did I tell you, Mia?”
She comes towards me and kisses me again. “You’re right,” she says, running a hand over the left side of my face. “This is kind of hot.”
“I know,” I say, and grab her, lift her up while we’re still making out and slam her against the hotel room wall so her thighs are aligned with my solid erection.
Mia breaks off the kiss. “Fuck me, Louis.”
“Yes ma’am!” I say and run a rough hand over her breasts. She starts moaning and her fingers dig into my skin, wherever they are, trying to hold on tighter.
“And Mia,” I say, unzipping the front of my pants with one hand, while keeping Mia steady against the wall with the other. “I don’t think I want an open relationship anymore.”

Notes