Break On Me
Chapter 004
⏩Harry⏪
Two days have passed since I woke up in the emergency room. They went by fast for me, so I hope the rest of the days goes back just as fast as the first. They took the neck brace off of me last night, assuring me that nothing was wrong and besides I was feeling better in that place anyways.
“You want to go sit with Daddy, baby? I’m sure he’ll love to hold you for a while.’’ Emmy said to Katie as she stood up, holding her in her arms with the bottle in her hand as she came over to me.
‘’Hey princess.’’ I smile at my little angel as Emmy sits her on my lap. I take the bottle that was almost half empty and wait until Emmy gets her situated.
Katie was looking tired, it was around the time she usually took a nap, just a little after lunch. I go to put the bottle in her mouth, hoping she would grab onto like she usually does, but she didn’t. She just pushed it away and struggled to sit up, but she got up after a few more tries.
‘’Dada.. Dada.. Dada.. Dada.’’ She says, drool coming out of the side of her mouth as she sticks her finger in her mouth. Those beautiful blue eyes look up at me, so pretty, so gorgeous.
‘’What’s the matter, angel?’’ I ask softly as I hold her waist, standing her up on my thighs.
Katie only looks at me, she doesn’t attempt to say or do anything else.
‘’She probably doesn’t know what to think of this.’’ Emmy says as she sits down on the edge of the bed.
‘’What.. what are you talking about.. this?’’ I say, slightly confused as I observe Katie, making sure nothing seemed wrong with her.
She looked fine, no temperature, not fussy. It was actually scaring me. She never pushes the bottle away like that, never.
‘’About you.. being here. She’s not used to it, Harry.’’ Emmy mumbles as she leans back beside me, her hand on my leg under the cover.
Her touch was soft, warm. Nothing like me right now. I was freezing, my skin was dry and cold. I felt horrible, even with all the medicine pumping through my veins. I wasn’t normal, and that was having a toll on me right now.
“I wish this was all just a dream.’’ I sigh out as Katie starts to bounce in my hands, at least she’s doing something that’s regular for her to do.
‘’I know, me too.’’ Emmy says, leaning her head on my shoulder.
There was nothing I could do about this. I couldn’t change it, I can’t get up and leave. I can’t just walk out acting as if nothing ever happened.
This was all my fault, and no one will ever be able to make me think otherwise.
⏩Emmy⏪
I was awoken by the sound of Harry’s voice calling my name repeatedly. I sat up on the couch and turned the lamp on. The bright light lite half of the room, giving me enough life to see his eyes looking over at me.
‘’Are you okay?’’ I ask as I stand up and go over to him, trying not to make too much noise.
‘’I need to use the bathroom.’’ He mumbles with a sigh as he looks away from me. Harry has been ashamed of how he is, he told me this. He hates for me having to do everything he asks. He can hardly do stuff on his own and he doesn’t like it at all.
“Alright, just hold on a second.’’ I smile gently as I lean down and place a kiss on his cold forehead.
I went to the other side of the rather large hospital room to where the wheel chair was. It was mainly there for this purpose and for when they have to take Harry to do some tests or scans or whatnot.
‘’I’m sorry.’’ Harry sighs out as I pull the cover off of his legs and push the button to make the bed lean up.
‘’Quit saying that.’’ I say as I grab his hand as he turns himself on the bed and puts his good foot on the cold tile floor.
‘’I can’t.. Emmy.’’ He huffs as he closes his eyes tight and sighs deeply to himself.
‘’Baby, just balance on your foot and sit down in the chair. I promise it’ll be fine.’’ I assure him as I squeeze his hand tight. Normally he would return the tight gesture, but this time he didn’t. He let my hand go as he stood up on his foot and stayed still for a few seconds before turning and sitting down in the chair.
‘’See, not hard at all. You okay now?’’ I ask as I step behind the chair and put my hands around the handles.
‘’I hate this. I can’t even piss on my own anymore.’’ He says, his voice cracking a tad.
‘’Harry, stop saying stuff like that. You can do it, you just have to wait a while so that your leg gets a little better. The doctor told you he would allow you on crutches soon.’’ I remind him, he was too suborn to take this into consideration right now.
‘’Not soon enough.’’
I didn’t respond, only because I knew whatever I, or anyone else, said wasn’t going to change his mind. He was determined that he was useless and that he was nothing anymore. Everyone else doesn’t believe that, but he certainly does.
‘’I swear to God, Emmy, I have to get this stupid fucking gown off. It drives me fucking insane.’’ Harry says as I shut the bathroom door to give him more privacy.
‘’The nurse said you can change into some sweats in the morning, just calm down.’’ I sigh as I grab his hand and hold it as he stands up.
‘’You shouldn’t have to do this..’’ He mumbles as I pull the gown up over his waist. He holds it with his other hand as I gently pull his boxers down, making sure I don’t hurt him or anything.
“Just don’t watch. It gives me a little peace in mind knowing that you aren’t witnessing this.’’ He sighs again.
‘’I won’t.’’ I say as I let go off his hand and turn around to face the shower. He holds onto my shoulder though, to keep balance.
Harry thinks that this disgusts me, referring to me having to basically take care of him like a baby. But what he lacks to understand is that it doesn’t bother me. Helping him makes me feel better, like I have a part in this.
Harry was back in the bed now, it had been about an hour since I took him to the bathroom. He wasn’t really active or talkative right now. He was awake. The bright lights were on and the bed was raised up so that he could sit up. His eyes were staring down at his phone. I didn’t know what he was looking at, but it must be important to him as hard as he’s staring.
‘’When can we.. have sex again?’’ His voice sliced the silence in half.
I gulp loudly to myself, not sure what to say or how to even reply, but I have to at least try for him, ‘’Well.. I don’t know. Why?’’ I say.
‘’Because I.. that makes me feel like I’m not giving you my all. I can’t give you want you desire.. Emmy, I’m ashamed of myself.’’ Harry looks over at me, his eyes watering and his cheeks red.
“Harry… sex isn’t everything. You know I love you either way.’’ I sigh as I stand up. I wasn’t going to have him be ashamed of himself.
‘’Well I can’t-‘’
‘’No. I’m sick of you thinking that you’re useless Harry. I mean, yeah, I understand some things are different now and we have to work together on other things. But I know three things that will never change no matter what. One, you are an amazing person. Two, I love you with all of my heart and you are my one and only, Harry. And three, you are the best father in the world. We don’t need sex to keep me happy. I love you no matter what. I wish you’d understand that.’’ I sit down on the edge of the bed beside him.
‘’Look at this, Emmy.’’ He mumbles, passing the phone to me. I look down at the screen and see the picture, that’s a private picture of us, and I know only our eyes have seen it.
‘’I miss it already.. holding you.. kissing you.. giving you the pleasure you want. I can’t stand not.. not being about to.. To stand up, pick you up, and spin you around in my arms. I hate being in this god damn bed. I hate it.’’ He says as he takes his phone back gently from my hand.
Harry doesn’t understand the fact that he’s lucky. He could have died, he could have been in a como, he could have left this world forever. He’s too damn stupid to realize any of this and I was tired of it.
‘’Then you shouldn’t have put yourself here.’’
Two days have passed since I woke up in the emergency room. They went by fast for me, so I hope the rest of the days goes back just as fast as the first. They took the neck brace off of me last night, assuring me that nothing was wrong and besides I was feeling better in that place anyways.
“You want to go sit with Daddy, baby? I’m sure he’ll love to hold you for a while.’’ Emmy said to Katie as she stood up, holding her in her arms with the bottle in her hand as she came over to me.
‘’Hey princess.’’ I smile at my little angel as Emmy sits her on my lap. I take the bottle that was almost half empty and wait until Emmy gets her situated.
Katie was looking tired, it was around the time she usually took a nap, just a little after lunch. I go to put the bottle in her mouth, hoping she would grab onto like she usually does, but she didn’t. She just pushed it away and struggled to sit up, but she got up after a few more tries.
‘’Dada.. Dada.. Dada.. Dada.’’ She says, drool coming out of the side of her mouth as she sticks her finger in her mouth. Those beautiful blue eyes look up at me, so pretty, so gorgeous.
‘’What’s the matter, angel?’’ I ask softly as I hold her waist, standing her up on my thighs.
Katie only looks at me, she doesn’t attempt to say or do anything else.
‘’She probably doesn’t know what to think of this.’’ Emmy says as she sits down on the edge of the bed.
‘’What.. what are you talking about.. this?’’ I say, slightly confused as I observe Katie, making sure nothing seemed wrong with her.
She looked fine, no temperature, not fussy. It was actually scaring me. She never pushes the bottle away like that, never.
‘’About you.. being here. She’s not used to it, Harry.’’ Emmy mumbles as she leans back beside me, her hand on my leg under the cover.
Her touch was soft, warm. Nothing like me right now. I was freezing, my skin was dry and cold. I felt horrible, even with all the medicine pumping through my veins. I wasn’t normal, and that was having a toll on me right now.
“I wish this was all just a dream.’’ I sigh out as Katie starts to bounce in my hands, at least she’s doing something that’s regular for her to do.
‘’I know, me too.’’ Emmy says, leaning her head on my shoulder.
There was nothing I could do about this. I couldn’t change it, I can’t get up and leave. I can’t just walk out acting as if nothing ever happened.
This was all my fault, and no one will ever be able to make me think otherwise.
⏩Emmy⏪
I was awoken by the sound of Harry’s voice calling my name repeatedly. I sat up on the couch and turned the lamp on. The bright light lite half of the room, giving me enough life to see his eyes looking over at me.
‘’Are you okay?’’ I ask as I stand up and go over to him, trying not to make too much noise.
‘’I need to use the bathroom.’’ He mumbles with a sigh as he looks away from me. Harry has been ashamed of how he is, he told me this. He hates for me having to do everything he asks. He can hardly do stuff on his own and he doesn’t like it at all.
“Alright, just hold on a second.’’ I smile gently as I lean down and place a kiss on his cold forehead.
I went to the other side of the rather large hospital room to where the wheel chair was. It was mainly there for this purpose and for when they have to take Harry to do some tests or scans or whatnot.
‘’I’m sorry.’’ Harry sighs out as I pull the cover off of his legs and push the button to make the bed lean up.
‘’Quit saying that.’’ I say as I grab his hand as he turns himself on the bed and puts his good foot on the cold tile floor.
‘’I can’t.. Emmy.’’ He huffs as he closes his eyes tight and sighs deeply to himself.
‘’Baby, just balance on your foot and sit down in the chair. I promise it’ll be fine.’’ I assure him as I squeeze his hand tight. Normally he would return the tight gesture, but this time he didn’t. He let my hand go as he stood up on his foot and stayed still for a few seconds before turning and sitting down in the chair.
‘’See, not hard at all. You okay now?’’ I ask as I step behind the chair and put my hands around the handles.
‘’I hate this. I can’t even piss on my own anymore.’’ He says, his voice cracking a tad.
‘’Harry, stop saying stuff like that. You can do it, you just have to wait a while so that your leg gets a little better. The doctor told you he would allow you on crutches soon.’’ I remind him, he was too suborn to take this into consideration right now.
‘’Not soon enough.’’
I didn’t respond, only because I knew whatever I, or anyone else, said wasn’t going to change his mind. He was determined that he was useless and that he was nothing anymore. Everyone else doesn’t believe that, but he certainly does.
‘’I swear to God, Emmy, I have to get this stupid fucking gown off. It drives me fucking insane.’’ Harry says as I shut the bathroom door to give him more privacy.
‘’The nurse said you can change into some sweats in the morning, just calm down.’’ I sigh as I grab his hand and hold it as he stands up.
‘’You shouldn’t have to do this..’’ He mumbles as I pull the gown up over his waist. He holds it with his other hand as I gently pull his boxers down, making sure I don’t hurt him or anything.
“Just don’t watch. It gives me a little peace in mind knowing that you aren’t witnessing this.’’ He sighs again.
‘’I won’t.’’ I say as I let go off his hand and turn around to face the shower. He holds onto my shoulder though, to keep balance.
Harry thinks that this disgusts me, referring to me having to basically take care of him like a baby. But what he lacks to understand is that it doesn’t bother me. Helping him makes me feel better, like I have a part in this.
Harry was back in the bed now, it had been about an hour since I took him to the bathroom. He wasn’t really active or talkative right now. He was awake. The bright lights were on and the bed was raised up so that he could sit up. His eyes were staring down at his phone. I didn’t know what he was looking at, but it must be important to him as hard as he’s staring.
‘’When can we.. have sex again?’’ His voice sliced the silence in half.
I gulp loudly to myself, not sure what to say or how to even reply, but I have to at least try for him, ‘’Well.. I don’t know. Why?’’ I say.
‘’Because I.. that makes me feel like I’m not giving you my all. I can’t give you want you desire.. Emmy, I’m ashamed of myself.’’ Harry looks over at me, his eyes watering and his cheeks red.
“Harry… sex isn’t everything. You know I love you either way.’’ I sigh as I stand up. I wasn’t going to have him be ashamed of himself.
‘’Well I can’t-‘’
‘’No. I’m sick of you thinking that you’re useless Harry. I mean, yeah, I understand some things are different now and we have to work together on other things. But I know three things that will never change no matter what. One, you are an amazing person. Two, I love you with all of my heart and you are my one and only, Harry. And three, you are the best father in the world. We don’t need sex to keep me happy. I love you no matter what. I wish you’d understand that.’’ I sit down on the edge of the bed beside him.
‘’Look at this, Emmy.’’ He mumbles, passing the phone to me. I look down at the screen and see the picture, that’s a private picture of us, and I know only our eyes have seen it.
‘’I miss it already.. holding you.. kissing you.. giving you the pleasure you want. I can’t stand not.. not being about to.. To stand up, pick you up, and spin you around in my arms. I hate being in this god damn bed. I hate it.’’ He says as he takes his phone back gently from my hand.
Harry doesn’t understand the fact that he’s lucky. He could have died, he could have been in a como, he could have left this world forever. He’s too damn stupid to realize any of this and I was tired of it.
‘’Then you shouldn’t have put yourself here.’’
Notes
Hmm.. Getting a little drama thrown in there. We'll update soon loves!!!! Leave those pretty comments of us!! ❤❤❤ -B/A
Omg poor Harry but I can absolutely see Emmys reasoning for leaving
3/14/17